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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Ivan Michael on May 12, 2004, at 11:03:24
the sweet taste
just a hint of flavor
that's all it takes
you try a little
maybe you didn't even want anie
it's so good
it's like heaven
everiething else passes for a second
you enjoy it and walk away
even so, you always come back
just another taste
but you need a bit more this time, just a bit
again it's a rush
later you want more
you taste, leave, repeat,
and repeat, and repeat, and repeat
eventuallie you need it. not a bit, but a lot
you crave it. you have to have it.
you can't stop. not what? what do you do?
you may not want it aniemore, this false heaven
but at the same time you dothat's why i fight. i've had a taste, but if i try more, i just might skip a few steps.
Posted by spoc on May 13, 2004, at 11:02:11
In reply to candie cuts, posted by Ivan Michael on May 12, 2004, at 11:03:24
Posted by B2chica on May 14, 2004, at 11:08:53
In reply to candie cuts, posted by Ivan Michael on May 12, 2004, at 11:03:24
> you crave it. you have to have it.
> that's why i fight. i've had a taste, but if i try more, i just might skip a few steps.Hello IVAN Michael,
i'm not sure what happened to my post i put up yesterday so sorry if this comes out twice but i wanted to make sure you knew i LOVED THIS ONE. Ivan you have hit it right on with this one.
I constantly struggle with this. to say you Crave it is an understatement- the craving, the urge sometimes is just SO strong, a little longer, a little deeper... Sometimes i scare myself with these "urges" they overpower me. i too am afraid i may someday skip a few steps and go where i'm drawn to go, and "candie cut" my way out.Beautifully expressed.
Thanks for sharing this one.
B2c.
Posted by Ivan Michael on May 17, 2004, at 15:43:20
In reply to Re: candie cuts, posted by B2chica on May 14, 2004, at 11:08:53
thankyou friend. i'm glad you liked it. i have only cut a few times. they were all verie small. my friends don't even consider me a cutter. this makes it worse. it makes me almost want to prove them wrong. i get cut on accident so often and it's so great. o well. i hope you can abstain from the craving. take care. and remember two things, because of your understanding, i consider you a true friend which i have onlie said to about 2 people. and another, you received my possible second to last post. take care and goodbye.
Posted by B2chica on May 19, 2004, at 9:32:43
In reply to Re: candie cuts/B2 chica, posted by Ivan Michael on May 17, 2004, at 15:43:20
> thankyou friend. i'm glad you liked it. i have only cut a few times.
-From my experience, it only takes once....only once to feel that Release, only once to feel the other pains sliding away, only once to feel "complete", only once for the help we need...only once.
>they were all verie small.
-i started long and shallow, and now i've grown to short and deeper, 1)cuz i'm running out of "unnoticable" spaces, and 2)shorter and deeper tend to be darker and more crimson.
>my friends don't even consider me a cutter.
-Who are they to say anything??? it's YOUR BODY!!!>this makes it worse. it makes me almost want to prove them wrong.
-of Course it would...it makes me mad just thinking about it. However, you DON"T need to prove anything to ANYONE, you are YOU and we here at babble LOVE YOU FOR IT!
you have a strong spirit, it' just that sometimes the strength isn't directed in the healthiest of directions...believe me, i know from where i speak!>i get cut on accident so often and it's so great. o well.
-same here, i bruise quite easily...all my life i get tons of little cuts and bruises and don't even know where i get them, i guess that helps with some of the "explanations"...>i hope you can abstain from the craving.
-unfortunatley i can't right now, but that's ok. I'm in therapy, i'm looking for help and someday it will come and the cravings will slow and then hopefully stop. but until then the small cuts help me to not make that one (or two) deadly ones.>and remember two things, because of your understanding, i consider you a true friend which i have onlie said to about 2 people.
-wow Ivan, this is very important to me. You are absolutely incredible! what a giving spirit you are. You are VERY important to me too. You understand...and that's rare. There just aren't enough people in this world like you.
>and another, you received my possible second to last post. take care and goodbye.
-i don't like this Ivan. i don't believe in saying goodbye. First you raise my hopes in saying that i'm your friend, now you leaving me? Talk about touching on my abandonment issues. If you're leaving babble because you are feeling great and no longer need support than that is wonderful and i understand, However, that's not the tone i'm getting from your writing.
I don't have a lot of people in my life i can talk to about this stuff. in fact, here, is the only place i feel truly safe talking about the REAL me. And there've only been three people that i have been able to REALLY relate to here and you are one of them.
Please continue to write poems, please continue to post. I would have replied earlier but my boss has changed my schedule and now i'm only 1/2 days here at this location and it's the only place i can get online so i've been a lot busier and can't read or post as often...please bare with me.
I want to hear from you. Please Ivan, i Really do care about you. i want to get to know you better. I want you to know...i Truly Care, it's not just online crap.
Please, for me, take care of yourself. Continue to post here, write to me.B2c.
Posted by spoc on May 19, 2004, at 12:07:18
In reply to Re: IVAN-respond., posted by B2chica on May 19, 2004, at 9:32:43
Hi B2chica,
Just wanted to make sure you had seen Ivan's recent posts on Soc, first that sadly it looked like his parents didn't want him using the board anymore; but then today he started a new thread saying he may still be able to come here sometimes. It sounds like when he got those chances to stop by over the last couple days, he wouldn't have had time to look for recent posts to him. Just didn't want you to feel too bad! :- )
Posted by B2chica on May 20, 2004, at 11:43:56
In reply to Re: IVAN-respond. » B2chica, posted by spoc on May 19, 2004, at 12:07:18
thanks spoc! you're such a sweetie. after i wrote this response i saw the social board. but Thanks for letting me know!
B2c.
> Hi B2chica,
>
> Just wanted to make sure you had seen Ivan's recent posts on Soc, first that sadly it looked like his parents didn't want him using the board anymore; but then today he started a new thread saying he may still be able to come here sometimes. It sounds like when he got those chances to stop by over the last couple days, he wouldn't have had time to look for recent posts to him. Just didn't want you to feel too bad! :- )
This is the end of the thread.
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