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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 5 of 5. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by PoohBear on January 29, 2004, at 10:45:12
Life with ADHD
My head upon my pillow lays,
Thoughts racing through my mind.
I cannot not turn them off,
To gain the silence I would find.The same four bars of a song
Play over and over without ending.
I cannot make them stop,
They live beyond my controlling.No one knows the anguish,
The feelings of despair,
That somehow I'm different,
That I just don't quite compare.I want to be like my friends.
They seem so self assured.
Their structured lives of order,
So unlike the chaos I endure.I know I'm smart, I'm bright.
I also know I'm not free.
My mind is the difference.
That seperates you and me.I oft say things I later regret.
I make plans but cannot follow through.
Projects started lay unfinished,
Weeks or months after they were due.My mind sees things completed
Before they're e're begun.
If I knew how to get from A to B,
I know that I could run.I live with chaos every day
It's there within my mind.
Normal people cannot understand,
Others like me, of my kind.We would do so well, if we could,
We'd excel, be normal, be free.
We'd do the things others do
Without thinking, naturally.Two steps forward, one step back.
So much effort with so little to show,
Is it really any wonder then,
That people think we're 'slow'?In my mind I see myself,
Able to think, clearly and free.
No more chaos or indecision
A future of mental productivity.Then I'll lay my head upon my pillow,
No racing thoughts will grip my mind.
I will not feel controlled.
My thoughts will drift into restful...sleep.
©2004 T. Reynolds
Posted by thinkfast on January 29, 2004, at 15:35:47
In reply to Life with ADHD, posted by PoohBear on January 29, 2004, at 10:45:12
Simply amazing!...I'm at a loss for words...wait....some people may not understand, but you explain it so very well...very deep and insightfull....have you ever shared this with anyone that you feel does not understand your issues? it just might click for them if they have the capacity to take your words seriously...it's like the old saying about listening compared to just simply hearing....we listen pooh
Posted by PoohBear on January 29, 2004, at 16:27:36
In reply to Re: Amazing!, posted by thinkfast on January 29, 2004, at 15:35:47
> Simply amazing!...I'm at a loss for words...wait....some people may not understand, but you explain it so very well...very deep and insightfull....have you ever shared this with anyone that you feel does not understand your issues? it just might click for them if they have the capacity to take your words seriously...it's like the old saying about listening compared to just simply hearing....we listen pooh
I just sat down and wrote it this morning, so you guys and gals are the only people I've ever shared this with, BUT, I probably will share it with my counsellor the next time I go in for talk therapy...Thanks for the praise. I'm glad you could relate to it. Most people that don't have ADHD (99.999%) don't have a clue what it's like. They just think we're lazy or irresponsible.
Take care,
Tony
Posted by SummerSanders on February 2, 2004, at 14:23:23
In reply to Life with ADHD, posted by PoohBear on January 29, 2004, at 10:45:12
That was amazing. I am inspired to write a follow up segment.
The part that moves me most is the music in my head. That song on the radio that rings in your mind in perfect pitch, over and over and over. Hearing music in your dreams. The projects that were started so furiously and with such passion get sheepishly forgotten. The lost jackets, purses, bags, keys and wallets. The sickeningly messy apartment that stares up at you like a horrid annoyance. But for some reason you can not pick up the clothes on the floor. Hanging clothes on hangers, organizing papers, seems impossible. You sit for hours twisting the same piece of hair over and over riddled with anxiety that you are stuck, frozen. The thoughts race but you can;t get anyhting done. Dirty dishes pile in the sink. You can not fall asleep without ambien, can not get out of bed in the morning, the years spiral by, jobs come and go, the job you wanted and fought so hard to get becomes insufferably boring and monontous after three months. Flaking out on friends, can not keep a plan. Come in late to work one too many times. Get Fired.
Anxiety riddled with depression. Will it ever end? No I am not bi-polar, I am not having delusions of granduer or making grand pieces I am stuck on a never-ending merry go round that I can't get off. The paxil makes me fat, the wellbutrin makes me dizzy.. Alcohol feels good until you wind up in jail. Pyschiatrists with their false hopes. I am not mentally ill. Please don't put me on that Zyprexa. You might as well put me out like a lame horse. My mind is my worst enemy. Why? I am such a good person.
Posted by PoohBear on February 5, 2004, at 11:59:04
In reply to Re: Life with ADHD, posted by SummerSanders on February 2, 2004, at 14:23:23
Summer:
Thanks for the compliments, I'm glad you liked it. I read your stuff and liked it too. I hope you get your head together. Writing *could* be a good way to do it.
I showed this poem to my PDoc the other day and after she read it, she looked up and said she'd never known what it was really like to have ADHD "from the inside out". She didn't realise that there was that much anguish associated with not being *normal*.
WOW!
Please take care of yourself,
Tony
> That was amazing. I am inspired to write a follow up segment.
>
> The part that moves me most is the music in my head. That song on the radio that rings in your mind in perfect pitch, over and over and over. Hearing music in your dreams. The projects that were started so furiously and with such passion get sheepishly forgotten. The lost jackets, purses, bags, keys and wallets. The sickeningly messy apartment that stares up at you like a horrid annoyance. But for some reason you can not pick up the clothes on the floor. Hanging clothes on hangers, organizing papers, seems impossible. You sit for hours twisting the same piece of hair over and over riddled with anxiety that you are stuck, frozen. The thoughts race but you can;t get anyhting done. Dirty dishes pile in the sink. You can not fall asleep without ambien, can not get out of bed in the morning, the years spiral by, jobs come and go, the job you wanted and fought so hard to get becomes insufferably boring and monontous after three months. Flaking out on friends, can not keep a plan. Come in late to work one too many times. Get Fired.
>
> Anxiety riddled with depression. Will it ever end? No I am not bi-polar, I am not having delusions of granduer or making grand pieces I am stuck on a never-ending merry go round that I can't get off. The paxil makes me fat, the wellbutrin makes me dizzy.. Alcohol feels good until you wind up in jail. Pyschiatrists with their false hopes. I am not mentally ill. Please don't put me on that Zyprexa. You might as well put me out like a lame horse. My mind is my worst enemy. Why? I am such a good person.
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