Psycho-Babble Writing Thread 304012

Shown: posts 1 to 6 of 6. This is the beginning of the thread.

Ok, here goes.... Poem in progress

Posted by socialdeviantjeff on January 22, 2004, at 0:00:33

This is a poem in progress. It is an allegory for something pretty personal to me.

RISE AND SET

Neutral and ordinary
And at times cruel in Paucity
The gray cold before the sunrise

Roses with thorns
And desultory thunderclaps
Give cause for disconcerting disquietude

The lambent flame
And the russet emcompassment
At cross-purpose bestow regret and discontent

With light touching a still heart
Giving of flight from catalepsy
Under such light and infallible river flows

Adverting to the bitterness
Too soon the sun surely sets

Re: love the top three lines (nm)

Posted by thinkfast on January 22, 2004, at 6:10:28

In reply to Ok, here goes.... Poem in progress, posted by socialdeviantjeff on January 22, 2004, at 0:00:33

Thanks! (nm) » thinkfast

Posted by socialdeviantjeff on January 23, 2004, at 22:10:29

In reply to Re: love the top three lines (nm), posted by thinkfast on January 22, 2004, at 6:10:28

Re: u adding more to it? (nm)

Posted by thinkfast on January 28, 2004, at 16:42:36

In reply to Ok, here goes.... Poem in progress, posted by socialdeviantjeff on January 22, 2004, at 0:00:33

Yes, I want to hear more from you....nice stuff (nm)

Posted by Jai Narayan on January 28, 2004, at 20:46:58

In reply to Ok, here goes.... Poem in progress, posted by socialdeviantjeff on January 22, 2004, at 0:00:33

Thanks... Jai and Thinkfast

Posted by socialdeviantjeff on January 28, 2004, at 23:40:39

In reply to Ok, here goes.... Poem in progress, posted by socialdeviantjeff on January 22, 2004, at 0:00:33

Thanks! It's a work in progress, and Im leaving it alone for now. I have a tendancy to jump from thing to thing midstream. I'll revisit it in time. I have at least a dozen different poems in the works.

I rarely read others work. I read the stuff you guys have there and it was great. Some of it touched a nerve. Thanks to all for sharing.

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