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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 5 of 5. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by biogurl on June 25, 2007, at 11:30:04
I left work due to severe depression and anxiety. Before I left I saw the nurse at work who was very sympathetic and assured me that I was not the first person to come to her with such problems. By the time I return to work, I will have been gone slighlty more than 9 weeks. Everyone at work knows that I've been "sick" but they don't know what is wrong with me. My boss knows the real reason and while she was told by the nurse that under HIPPA law, she was required to keep her knowledge to herself, I'm pretty sure she has told at least 2 people. I believe that those 2 people will keep the information private, but my main concern is what I will tell my co-workers. I would like to give them some explanation other than "it's personal". Does anyone have any good explanations for a 9+ week absence? Thanks
Posted by annierose on June 27, 2007, at 22:40:13
In reply to returning to work after 9 week absence, posted by biogurl on June 25, 2007, at 11:30:04
I think saying "personal issues" will send the message that you wish to keep it private. I know might worry about what your co-workers are thinking, but you don't need to concern yourself with their idle chit-chat.
I know it's hard to go back to work after such a long absence. Hold your head high, do your work and after that initial day, the gossip should subside.
Good Luck and Congratulations for returning to work. It's a big step.
Posted by stargazer2 on July 4, 2007, at 16:41:50
In reply to returning to work after 9 week absence, posted by biogurl on June 25, 2007, at 11:30:04
You could say you were dealing with "some medical issues" and leave it at that. If they inquire more than that say "I'd rather not discuss it". I know I once had a short term absense and went through the same thing except I lost alot of weight and everyone's said I looked so good, it made me think I was a fat blob before I left.
No one really got too nosey about why I left. I think they knew and they just left me alone. More people than you think are sympathetic to any medical or other reason for not being able to work.
Glad to hear you are feeling better and can go back to work.
Stargazer
Posted by Compucat on July 5, 2007, at 15:28:17
In reply to returning to work after 9 week absence, posted by biogurl on June 25, 2007, at 11:30:04
hi biogurl,
"Medical things" was what I called my first absence from work. Remember that you owe no one an explanation.
I followed a technique my psychologist told me about. It worked amazingly well. He calls it 'turning the mirror'. When people ask you questions, they have the 'mirror on you'. Instead, you 'take' the 'mirror' and 'turn the mirror on them'. Right now, visualize what this would look like with a handheld mirror. Someone holding it up so you can see your face in it, and you take the mirror from their hand and face the mirror towards them. Then say something like "how has your work been going on here - finish that project?/file?/etc" or "how are your kids - I bet Johnny and April are enjoying summer holidays". Say this RIGHT AFTER they ask that first prying, uncomfortable question where you probably answered “medical reasons” and say it in a nice genuine way.
What you’ll see is something rather amazing about human nature - the human ego at work. All of a sudden they will grab 'the mirror' and run with it. You'll hear everything you want to know/don't want to know about them, and more. Remember, you're the person who has heard nothing about THEIR woes for nine weeks! So be prepared for your best exit line - "good to see you again, I best get back to my work".
Use the mirror to deflect. It helped me through 3 returns to work.At times, with prying questions, I have also resorted to responding with the question "why do you ask?". It’s a little more aggressive. It indicates putting up a block in the conversation. I find it requires more thought on my part before I use it – what situation am I in and does this person really need to know this. For example, the receptionist at a dentist's office might need to know what meds I am on, but not my co-workers. In that case, my co-worker would not get 'the mirror'. They would get "why do you ask" because they are way out of bounds, way too personal, beyond what they need to know. Whatever they would answer I would listen to. However, my answer to them would be "I see", and then I would walk away. This return to work is about you and keeping it successful for you!
Remember to take all of your coffee breaks and lunch breaks. Don’t go back to work trying to make up for lost time. Be patient with yourself. Even after nine weeks you will forget things and feel a little lost. Above all, don't ever feel guilty about taking time off to get yourself to a healthier place - big congrats for doing that, because it takes a lot of strength. Wishing you all the very best
Posted by biogurl on July 6, 2007, at 9:57:58
In reply to Re: returning to work after 9 week absence, posted by Compucat on July 5, 2007, at 15:28:17
Thanks to everyone that posted a response. I really appreciate it. That mirroring idea is great! I'm just nervous about the first day or two back to work. I'm sure that after that, it will be business as usual.
It would just be easier to say I broke my leg or something, you know?
Thanks again.
This is the end of the thread.
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