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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 18 of 18. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by TexasChic on January 19, 2007, at 22:32:10
I had a hellish week this past week. It was our really busy time (I worked 12-14 hours every day) and my emotions ranged from: anger to fear to pride to anxiety to hopelessness to relief. It would be way too much to write all that's happened, but lets just say I steamed with anger, cried in frustration, at one point thought I was about get fired, and the rest just consisted of my own fears and limitations and my inability to stand up and take charge.
Now, after much thought, and the knowledge that my boss wants to work with me and not fire me, I feel I'm going to have to sit down with her and explain some things. Its going to involve me having to stand up to her and convince her that what I need is basically for her to stay out of my job and trust me to do it. She freaks out because she thinks things aren't going to get done and steps in and makes things a complete mess for me! How do you explain that what they did made you screw up?
I realize a lot of this has to do with her previous incompetent employee. She doesn't know enough about the work of a graphic artist to realize I am nowhere near the same (or even how bad the girl before me was). She wants me to sit down and train with people that come to me with questions because they know I have more knowledge! It seems only others in my position can see and understand my competence.
I have run into this problem many times in my job. Unless you are in a really creative environment that has an Art Director who supervises all the artists, then you usually have a management type person who knows nothing about how your job is done. They never know how long it will take to do something, or what is easy and what is difficult. Its just the way it is.
So wish me luck! Hopefully I can find the right words that will make her understand and not insult her or have her think I'm making excuses. It won't be easy. Send me 'ability to be tactful' vibes!
-T
Posted by Gee on January 19, 2007, at 22:32:11
In reply to Please send me good vibes tomorrow, posted by TexasChic on January 14, 2007, at 14:45:04
Posted by Phil on January 19, 2007, at 22:32:12
In reply to Please send me good vibes tomorrow, posted by TexasChic on January 14, 2007, at 14:45:04
--------------{{{{{{{{{{'ability to be tactful' vibes!}}}}}}}}}}}}--------------------->>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Posted by Kath on January 19, 2007, at 22:32:12
In reply to Please send me good vibes tomorrow, posted by TexasChic on January 14, 2007, at 14:45:04
Hi TC,
If I am about to have a 'difficult' conversation, I often put forward the concerns first.
In this case, would it be possible to tell her that you need to be open & hope that anything you say will not be misconstrued as being critical, (or whatever your concerns are)?
Just a thought. Always remember to take a few calm deep breaths first.
I'll 'hold light' for you!!!
luv, Kath
Posted by TexasChic on January 19, 2007, at 22:32:12
In reply to Re: Please send me good vibes tomorrow » TexasChic, posted by Kath on January 14, 2007, at 16:54:43
Thanks all of yall! Yeah, I did I think of beginning with the fact that I am very reluctant to voice these things because they may sound like I'm complaining or trying to place blame. But that instead I'm trying to make things easier for both of us and enable me to do my job as well as possible. I hope it works, otherwise I'm fighting a losing battle. Not that I'll give up. If I need to modify my expectations and suck it up I will. But not until I've at least tried to work it out how I feel it should.
-T
Posted by Phillipa on January 19, 2007, at 22:32:12
In reply to Re: Please send me good vibes tomorrow, posted by TexasChic on January 14, 2007, at 17:25:24
T you can do it. Just be polite and tactful and don't place blame. And update us okay? Love Phillipa
Posted by ClearSkies on January 19, 2007, at 22:32:12
In reply to Re: Please send me good vibes tomorrow, posted by TexasChic on January 14, 2007, at 17:25:24
Maybe make yourself some notes to take in with you so you can look at them if you feel like you're getting off-subject.
I have to admit that, unless I get along really well with my boss, that I have had a hard time in the past getting my points across unless I do those notes first. Otherwise, I turn all the talk into those "feelings" words that bosses all over the world Hate.You can do it, TC! Keep cool and smile, and nod when you're supposed to.
CS
Posted by Poet on January 19, 2007, at 22:32:12
In reply to Please send me good vibes tomorrow, posted by TexasChic on January 14, 2007, at 14:45:04
Ability to be tactful vibes are surrounding you right now.
Hope it goes well.
Poet
Posted by TexasChic on January 19, 2007, at 22:32:12
In reply to Re: Please send me good vibes tomorrow » TexasChic, posted by ClearSkies on January 14, 2007, at 23:50:13
My boss just called me from work to ask where this silly picture was that she had me print out for her I don't now how long ago. At the time she told me it was them just joking around, which it was. And being as she took it with her digital camera I just didn't see any reason to keep it along with my work files. Now she's all, "I mean for you to keep everything I give you, I need that for the big meeting tomorrow". What she could possibly need that silly picture for I don't know but it can't be anything business related. Anyway she sounded all pissy. This is the kind of thing that really gets to me. But from what I have heard that's just how she is sometimes. I just haven't been subject to it until now. I just don't know how to stop freaking out and thinking I'm going to get fired every time she gets testy with me. I just can't stand for people to be angry with me, it just freaks me out! I know this comes from being yelled at and scared all the time as a kid. And having some bad work experiences, including being fired when I didn't deserve it, doesn't exactly help my paranoia.
I just have to keep telling myself I didn't do anything wrong, and if the worst happened, getting fired, there would have been nothing I could have done to prevent it. And if she gripes me out tomorrow, I guess I'll just be respectful, tell her I'm sorry, and try to move on.
Okay I think I'll take a Xanax now.
Posted by Gee on January 19, 2007, at 22:32:12
In reply to Had a snowday but still got in trouble, posted by TexasChic on January 15, 2007, at 15:17:37
Ahhh Texas that sucks. Your boss sounds rather unfair. I hope that you don't get reamed out tomorrow, but I guess if you do, like you said, you can only apologize. If you printed the photo off for her, then shouldn't she have it?
Posted by TexasChic on January 19, 2007, at 22:32:12
In reply to Re: Had a snowday but still got in trouble, posted by Gee on January 15, 2007, at 15:34:51
She has the printout but wants the digital file. I called her back, and left a message that I thought remembered burning a CD for her but wasn't sure. But whatever the case I need to learn how to not get so upset over these types of minor everyday things.
And yeah, she can be unreasonable. A couple of weeks ago she griped me out because I left at my normal time and she called afterwards wanting me to do something. What can say, I'm not a mind reader. But I have yet to have a boss that isn't unreasonable at least some of the time. I guess nobody's perfect. And to get to where they are they probably have to be pretty strong willed.
I guess I just get scared because this is the best job I've ever had. It makes me nervous to think about losing it. I try to keep reminding myself that I am more than qualified and they would be stupid to get rid of me. In fact, I know other supervisors think quite highly of me. So even if she mistakenly believes I'm not doing what I should, surely they wouldn't fire someone who has potential. I guess all I can do is my best.
-T
Posted by TexasChic on January 19, 2007, at 22:32:12
In reply to Re: Had a snowday but still got in trouble » Gee, posted by TexasChic on January 15, 2007, at 16:21:57
My boss suggested a meeting for us next week to discuss my job (in a good way, like a way to help me) before I had the chance to. She told me she wanted to take me to the stores more often and involve me more in the photo shoots so that I'll be more familiar with the product. I was like,"That's great! I'd love to do that! I think it would be a big help to me."
I've never been opposed to hard work or studying or anything like that. I just don't like to get blamed for things that aren't my fault. I talked to my co-worker (who is also her employee but higher up) about how she had to make an adjustment to our boss too. She used to complain to me a lot. But one day she said she just finally just told her to 'shut up' or something like that and now everything is fine with them. Of course I would never tell her to shut up, but I think at some point I will have to stand up to her. I still don't feel as comfortable with her as before this past couple of weeks happened, but I feel better than I did. She seemed to be much more reasonable. I've always kind of thought my co-worker passes things along to our boss, but in a good way to try to help the situation, because they'll come back from somewhere and my boss will suddenly be more reasonable.
So anyway, hopefully this is a step in the right direction, and if I can stay patient when she gets all crazy, maybe we can find a happy medium. Despite her questionable treatment of late I still really like her as a person and a boss. I think its just a matter of figuring out how to communicate with each other.
There's also the interference of RudeGirl, who trained me (HA!) and is a trouble maker. Man as soon as she found out I accidentally deleted those files she RAN over to my cubicle to gloat! I stayed calm until she pissed me off and then I just turned around and started working again.
Today I was talking to one of her co-workers after work about some of the extremely rude things she's said to me lately and she asked if I would be willing to repeat what I had told her to their supervisor. She said they have tried to tell her how horrible she is and it would help if she were to hear it from someone not reporting to her. I'm a little leery but I also feel I need to stand up for myself too. The weird thing is sometimes she can show a sort of kind side. Like when my boss was being unreasonable she was actually comforting me agreeing that all I could do was my best. And I really felt she meant it and sympathized because she was the person who had the position before me.
So that's my day. Its so hard to know when to hold your tongue and when to speak up. I still haven't mastered that yet.
-T
Posted by happykat on January 19, 2007, at 22:32:13
In reply to Things went weirdly well, posted by TexasChic on January 16, 2007, at 20:13:42
Texas,
I just ran across your post. Would have sent you vibes had I read it in time. But it sounds like it went well! :) I don't know why but your thread kinda reminded me of the movie "The Devil Wears Prada" I think maybe its the RudeGirl who trained you thing and working on photo shoots. Sounds like an interesting job. Anyway, I'm glad it worked out! Since I missed sending you work vibes I'm sending you {{{{{Have A Fabulous Weekend}}}}} vibes.
Regards,
Kat :)
Posted by TexasChic on February 1, 2007, at 18:41:53
In reply to Re: Things went weirdly well » TexasChic, posted by happykat on January 19, 2007, at 21:07:15
Thanks happykat! Things have gone really well the past couple of weeks. I've been kicking *ss getting my work done and getting praise from different people and all that. I guess I just have to be patient and prove myself over time.
Rudegirl moved into the cubicle next to mine. Before she did she came over and said my boss told her she could move there but she knew I wouldn't like it. I said, "You know, I really don't have as big of a problem with you as you think I do." And she was like "okay!" and ran off to move. And seriously, I have never done anything but bite my tongue around her! People are so weird.
-T
Posted by TexasChic on February 1, 2007, at 18:46:34
In reply to Re: Things went weirdly well » happykat, posted by TexasChic on February 1, 2007, at 18:41:53
my boss sent me an email saying i did a really good job getting this last job done. So maybe a little bit of what i said sunk in.
-T
Posted by Dinah on February 9, 2007, at 16:48:07
In reply to i forgot to add..., posted by TexasChic on February 1, 2007, at 18:46:34
Posted by happykat on February 14, 2007, at 16:46:02
In reply to i forgot to add..., posted by TexasChic on February 1, 2007, at 18:46:34
That's awesome Texas! Keep on keepin' on. You go girl! :)
Regards,
happykat :)
Posted by TexasChic on February 27, 2007, at 21:45:01
In reply to Re: i forgot to add... » TexasChic, posted by happykat on February 14, 2007, at 16:46:02
This is the end of the thread.
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