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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 10 of 10. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by deirdrehbrt on February 10, 2006, at 14:18:13
I'll be picking up my 5 month chip tonight. Feels good. It's amazing how much life has changed already.
--Dee
Posted by ClearSkies on February 10, 2006, at 14:33:57
In reply to 5 months on 2/9, posted by deirdrehbrt on February 10, 2006, at 14:18:13
> I'll be picking up my 5 month chip tonight. Feels good. It's amazing how much life has changed already.
> --Dee
Fantastic!!
I'll have 6 months on 2/20. Minus one day for my slip, but I didn't let me start all over.
(((Dee)))
Posted by Sabrina_0805 on February 10, 2006, at 17:07:42
In reply to Re: 5 months on 2/9, posted by ClearSkies on February 10, 2006, at 14:33:57
I'm jealous. I'm envious!
The solution is simple. In theory.
I admire you guys. Don't know how you did / do it.
Sabrina
Posted by deirdrehbrt on February 10, 2006, at 20:34:20
In reply to Re: 5 months on 2/9, posted by Sabrina_0805 on February 10, 2006, at 17:07:42
Sounds trite, but
Don't drink, Go to meetings, Ask for help.
Sometimes it's not easy. I do still want to drink at times. Thee liquor store is right next to the Goodwill store and the Dollar store. There are so many times I just want to walk into that liquor store. I miss my Glendronach.
Just because I want it though doesn't mean I have to have it. A line from The Matrix. Trinity says to Neo... " You've been down that road. You know where it goes". Or something like that.
That's what a bottom is. It's where you've reached a point that you don't want to go back to. It doesn't mean you've lost a house (which I did). It doesn't mean you've been in prison (which I haven't).
It's something different for everyone. It's about what do you have that you don't want to lose, or what is it that you've lost that you desperately want back. Where has addiction taken you that you never want to visit again?
Those are the thoughts that I need to keep fresh. My daughter, who I've barely spoken to in the past 4 years or so gave me a ride home from a meeting last friday night. To me, that's HUGE. 4 years ago, she was terrified of me. I was out of control. I'd blow up screaming at my family at the drop of a hat. I think she's finally beginning to test the waters. I don't blame her for not talking to me... I wouldn't talk to someone who was as out of control as I was.
5 months ago was the end of my bottom. I woke up in intensive care with an NG tube, a catheter, IV's, etc. In the ER, I was in restraints because I was trying to pull out the NG, I was swearing and screaming at people. I nearly killed myself.
You know what? It's not that hard if I keep those memories fresh to remember why I want to stay sober.
That doesn't mean it's easy... H*ll no. I was talking to a man at a meeting tonight who will have 27 years in a few weeks. Even he was having trouble today after receiving the terrible news that his brother is dying. But he thinks that drink through, recognizes where it will lead him, and he avoids taking that drink.
Someone said "constant vigilance", and they're correct.
I'm a wimp. I like to have things my way. I'm selfish and often self-centered. I'm not strong or corageous or anything special. In AA, I've met people much smarter, stronger, healthier and with greater faith than I'll ever be.
I figure that if I can get this, anyone can.
There's no need to be envious or jealous. If, and when you really want this, just come and get it. It's really not beyond you.
Blessings,
--Dee
Posted by AuntieMel on February 15, 2006, at 15:02:29
In reply to 5 months on 2/9, posted by deirdrehbrt on February 10, 2006, at 14:18:13
Posted by verne on February 26, 2006, at 14:00:02
In reply to Re: 5 months on 2/9 » Sabrina_0805, posted by deirdrehbrt on February 10, 2006, at 20:34:20
I just read your post and it reminded me to "keep it simple".
I just passed a month without alcohol (33 days now) Usually "milestones" are tricky for me, thin ice. I seem to get into trouble when I think past today.
If I get too far ahead of myself - I've sent the cart so far ahead of the horse, we (the horse and I) talk for hours about a mythical cart - does it exist, did it ever exist? - I end up on some goat trail.
Years ago, after I had hit bottom, I remember going to AA every day for over a month. I stayed sober and kept it simple. Later, I became less and less satisfied and started reading books "about" AA, and talking about theory.
While others simply did AA in practice and stayed sober, I wanted to philosophize and theorize. Eventually, of course, I went back out there. Others could see it and even warned me ahead of time.
Your post has helped me through a rough spot. I thought about going down that road (deadend) again.
Verne
Posted by verne on February 27, 2006, at 9:17:41
In reply to Since I got Up this Morning » deirdrehbrt, posted by verne on February 26, 2006, at 14:00:02
One minute I'm talking about not drinking for 33 days, the next I'm racing to the store for beer.
I'm hopeless
verne
Posted by ClearSkies on February 27, 2006, at 15:06:54
In reply to Crashed at 33 Days, posted by verne on February 27, 2006, at 9:17:41
Not hopeless. 33 days is great!
What happened on the morning of the 34th day, do you think?
Just curious what triggers you. I get serious cravings when I see family members drinking. Makes me want to get in the same state of mind so I don't feel so freaky.
ClearSkies
Posted by verne on March 2, 2006, at 10:38:34
In reply to Re: Crashed at 33 Days » verne, posted by ClearSkies on February 27, 2006, at 15:06:54
Every time I get more involved at Babble, I'm more likely to drink. It will start out innocently enough at the Alternative board. I may have a question about a supplement or herb.
Whether Babble is the cause or just a symptom, I seem to be building up to drink. ("BUD" syndrome) I'll expand my posting to the other more agitating boards, expose more of myself, and end up drinking - perhaps, to deal with the emotional pain.
As I've said before, message boards don't really give me any sort of fulfillment. It's an empty pursuit. Like blogs and news, I usually feel worse afterwards. Like holding water in a fist.
I need to take care of myself and avoid message boards.
Verne
Posted by ClearSkies on March 2, 2006, at 15:04:19
In reply to Babble isn't Healthy for Me, posted by verne on March 2, 2006, at 10:38:34
Keep yourself safe.
CS
This is the end of the thread.
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