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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 4 of 4. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by woodywho on February 8, 2006, at 8:44:34
The first thing that I want to say is this. I have invested so much of my time into finding a way to deal with addiction (which I have to do to stay alive). I have been in rehab, psych wards, detoxed myself etc...
I am just looking for advice that has worked for others. I have an AA sponser which i really like. I suffer from depression which makes it hard to love anyone else, let alone myself. The zoloft is ok (minus the side effects).
I know there are people that can relate, but I have a hard time expressing those feelings in fear that "nobody will understand". It's a visious cycle. One second I think I have everything under control and the next minute I am hiding in my bedroom drinking a 12 pack. That is the cycle that I am trying to break.
I had a great job and a great house and I threw much of that away because I wanted to numb my racing mind.
Ok, that is enough rambling. I have been sober for 50 days now. I have been sober for longer but it's a start.
Take care,
Woodywho
Posted by AuntieMel on February 8, 2006, at 9:46:35
In reply to Input, posted by woodywho on February 8, 2006, at 8:44:34
First remember that 50 days is huge, but not huge enough. You're still in the mode where the addiction is trying to give you *any* excuse to go back.
Then try not to be too hard on yourself. Much easier said than done for us low self esteem depressives, but not impossible.
Remember that you never "have control" over it. Thinking we do is the first step towards letting our guard down - and relapsing.
And try to help others with less time. Maybe you don't have enough time to be a sponsor, but you can surely help make the newbies at meetings feel more comfortable. And you can support people here.
Sobriety is like tutoring - the more you help someone else the more you understand the topic yourself.
Posted by vainamoinen on February 8, 2006, at 11:56:52
In reply to Input, posted by woodywho on February 8, 2006, at 8:44:34
If you've got a "racing mind" it could be that you ahave a subtle form of bipolar disorder. In which case Zoloft might not be the best medication for you. I had 17 yrs of sobriety and relapsed because I was taking Prozac for depression but I had a previously undiagnosed bipolar disorder. And by the way Zoloft was extremely destabilizing for me.
Now that I'm getting the correct treatment I'm doing much better and am going on 3 months sobriety.
Of course your mileage may vary, everyone is different.
But I would hate for someone to go through what I went through needlessly.
Posted by deirdrehbrt on February 8, 2006, at 16:45:10
In reply to Input, posted by woodywho on February 8, 2006, at 8:44:34
Hi.
50 days is really great! I hope tomorrow is 51. I have some questions for you.
Does your doctor (pshcyiatrist) know that you have a problem with drinking?
Do you have a counselor?
AA is great to stop drinking. It's not the place to deal with depression though, and the meds alone aren't always enough.
Depression and alcoholism can truly feed off of each other. Especially if your depression is cyclic, or if you are bipolar.
For me, I'm one day shy of 5 months. I'll probably pick up that chip on Friday. 5 months ago today, I was in the intensive care unit with a cathater and an NG tube and IV's, etc. That, plus the previous eight hospitalizations in psych wards over 4 years was my bottom.
I know that if I drink again, I could, and likely would die. Maybe not the first day, but soon.
Where is it that you don't want to go? What do you think will happen if you start drinking again? What have you already lost that you would like to have back? What do the other people at the meetings who haven't been drinking have that you want?
For me, it's tremendously important to remember where I've been, and what I don't want to happen to me. If I hold a beer in my hand, I recognize that it's the first step toward death, to my kids living their life without me. That beer becomes a poison with an even more deadly characteristic: If I drink one, I won't stop. I can't stop. It has that much power over me. But I have the first option of power. I can choose not to drink.
So, what would I offer? Talk to a professional about your depression. Stay in touch with your sponsor, and get numbers, and call them. Go to meetings. Go to meetings. Start working the steps.
I don't know if you're male or female, but if you're female, there is another real good book to read while doing the steps. It doesn't take the place of the big book, but it's good. It's called "A Woman's Way Through the Twelve Steps".
In any case, I wish you luck, and I'm cheering for each and every day that you get. If you are going to pick up your 60 day chip, (it's a funky gold color) listen, and I'll be clapping somewhere for you.
Congratulations on your 50 days, Keep coming back.
--Dee
This is the end of the thread.
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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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