Shown: posts 1 to 2 of 2. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by catmint on October 31, 2005, at 14:37:30
Hi,
Heather, I have been one day off pot and alcohol. That night you read my post was so bad, that I scared myself.
I guess I hit bottom, and now I want to stop drinking and pot for a good, long time.
I've done it before.
I could go to some meetings and I will If the craving is severe.
I have to do this, it's too scary how I felt. I was so needing my boyfriend to help, but too shut down to ask. Does that make sense? I feel so emotionally dependent on him, and I know he doesn't like it. So I just suffer on my own and pray. I want to be comforted so badly but I feel like maybe I'm needing to learn to comfort myself, which I don't know how to do.
I cry so much, and when I've been drinking, it's so much worse, so I keep telling myself that it will bring my down even more. I can stay strong to not drink just knowing this.
How are you doing? What keeps you strong to not drink? What meds are you on and do you really feel that you can't have a baby?
Amy
Posted by heatherann on November 1, 2005, at 13:56:33
In reply to No more pot or alcohol for me-heatherann, posted by catmint on October 31, 2005, at 14:37:30
Hooray! Awesome! You made the decision and now you have the choice to drink or not drink! Good for you. I didn't drink today either so we are both doing great! Theres a lot of information in the rest of my post - I know you may be feeling overwhelmed. Just know that you are doing a great thing for yourself and all you need to do right now is not pick up. You are not alone. Even if you do pick up you are not alone - just come back.
To stay sober for years I have been going to AA and learning from other alcoholics. I haven't come up with any other way to do it so I keep going and I keep getting better - it works for me.
It sounds like you're familiar with AA so you know its really up to you if you want to go or not. From my own experience, my suggestion, if you're an alcoholic/addict is to get yourself to a meeting as soon as possible and ask for help so you don't have to be alone with this tough choice you are making to stop drinking etc.
Try not to worry about feeling so depressed and wanting your boyfriend to comfort you. I hate when I feel so dependent on mine - but what can I do? Its just passing thoughts and emotions -
Try not to attach importance to your thoughts and emotions right now because minds can be really scary and self destrictive sometimes. You just need to worry about your actions. Thats all. What ACTIONS do you want to take? Do you want to stay away from a drink? What do you need to DO to do that? These are the only important things right now for you. Reach out to other alcoholics for support right now. That works for me.
People in meetings help me remember this kind of stuff. Plus, I can focus on whats going on there instead of what kind of tumultuous crap is going on in my head thats making me want to self-destruct.
Do you have a copy of the Big Book? If you do, I suggest sitting down for a little quiet time to read the chapter "The Doctor's Opinion". It mentions manic-depressives in there. If you don't have a copy go get one at a meeting.
I hear what your thinking about going to meetings if "the craving gets severe". You asked me what I do to stay strong to not drink.
1. I go to meetings so I never have to feel a craving. If I waited until I was craving I'm sure I'd be dead by now because I am not stronger than alcoholism - I treat my alcoholism just like a diabetic takes insulin.
2. I go to meetings where there are people who know how to do something I don't know how to do on my own - Ive illustrated this to myself twice in the past by returning to drinking when I didn't believe there was help for me there.
3. I let go of my belief that I can, have to control everything thats happening, do everything my way.As for my meds - at the moment I'm taking lithium and lamictal. By the way SLS (scott) on the withdrawal site said that there is a really bad depression while withdrawing from lamictal. yeah!! i definately felt that when lowering my dose recently) I take paxil when the depression gets ridiculous and seroquel every once in a while when hypomania gets my brain twisted up.
Enough for now ;) I'll talk about babies another time
Take it easy Amy :)Keep me posted and feel free to email me.
Love, Heather> Hi,
>
> Heather, I have been one day off pot and alcohol. That night you read my post was so bad, that I scared myself.
>
> I guess I hit bottom, and now I want to stop drinking and pot for a good, long time.
>
> I've done it before.
>
> I could go to some meetings and I will If the craving is severe.
>
> I have to do this, it's too scary how I felt. I was so needing my boyfriend to help, but too shut down to ask. Does that make sense? I feel so emotionally dependent on him, and I know he doesn't like it. So I just suffer on my own and pray. I want to be comforted so badly but I feel like maybe I'm needing to learn to comfort myself, which I don't know how to do.
>
> I cry so much, and when I've been drinking, it's so much worse, so I keep telling myself that it will bring my down even more. I can stay strong to not drink just knowing this.
>
> How are you doing? What keeps you strong to not drink? What meds are you on and do you really feel that you can't have a baby?
>
> Amy
>
>
This is the end of the thread.
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