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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 6 of 6. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by B2chica on May 27, 2005, at 11:38:37
My T is beginning to think i have a problem (i'm sure i do), my T even mentioned that he's concerned.
i started by abusing my xanax- getting close to S. attempt. i just wanted to sleep forever so took handful of xanax and LOOOOOOOts of wine. slept for almost 24 hours. couple days later i did the same. now, everytime i think of S. i think about just turning to the X and alcohol instead.i used to SI lots, then i restricted lots (AN), then i binged and purged for a while, then went back to SI, and now i think this is another form of SI. cuz i want to injure myself so badly.
so how do i know if i've crossed the line to dependancy. i don't feel i'd fit in a drug rehab facility (which my T mentioned- i shivered at that thought) cuz i don't do it to get high and feel good. i do it to hurt myself, to go numb.
and yes i do realize that many people who do drugs or alcohol to excess have the exact same reasoning. and i know that anytime you don't take meds as directed by dr. then you are 'abusing' the substance.but i don't/do want to die, part of me still nags about that and that's why i do it. it's like if i allow myself to take lots of pills then i don't need to commit S.
either way i know i need help. but i'd love to hear any comments or suggestions from anyone on this board.
thanks
b2c.
Posted by sunny10 on May 27, 2005, at 12:14:04
In reply to Benzo's alcohol...SI?, posted by B2chica on May 27, 2005, at 11:38:37
I think the greatest thing is that you have recognized what you have been doing, and the dangers it poses if you continue to do it.
And you've also figured out the WHY you do it.
You are Waaaaaay ahead of the game in terms of getting the help you need!
Keep talking this stuff over with T. And perhaps you can go to an NA meeting and ask someone to be your sponsor so that you have someone to call when these urges come to abuse the pills and drink? Or, if you suffer from social anxiety, could you just call the local NA chapter and request a telephone-only sponsor?
In the reading that I've done, there are all types of help out there, like groups based on self-empowerment, and other things, instead of Narcotics Anonymous which is based on religious belief if you're not religious but still want help. I only mention this because when I looked this stuff up, there was a lot of hype about NA not being the right choice for everyone...just know that there ARE others for you.
I'm very happy to hear you trying to take care of yourself.
Please take the words and turn them into some wonderful actions on behalf of yourself.
My thoughts are with you,
((((((((B2Chica)))))))
Posted by B2chica on May 27, 2005, at 12:35:18
In reply to Re: ((((((((((((B2Chica)))))))))))))))), posted by sunny10 on May 27, 2005, at 12:14:04
you've made me feel SO good. i was just about to take a couple xany's but read your response and i have a bit more strength. i'm going to print out my post and read it to my T today.
and the funny thing is. My T works in a building that MOSTLY deals with substance abuse (he's the odd one out dealing with mood disorders). but since he's in that building he does know stuff. Also, i know they have a hotline to call if you have 'urges' cuz he gave it to me saying if i got the urge to try S., to call, even thought they're not trained for depression they could get ahold of him.
So in that case, i guess i could use that number.thank you so much for the support sunny10.
hugs back to ya.
thank you.
b2c.
Posted by justyourlaugh on May 28, 2005, at 1:00:37
In reply to Re: ((((((((((((B2Chica)))))))))))))))), posted by B2chica on May 27, 2005, at 12:35:18
b2..
i could go on and on..
we share the boat..great progress..i wish you all the strenght..at a time i abused seroquel..to go away..we cant thank god or fairies can we?..we must thanks ourselves..we will continue..
Posted by sunny10 on May 31, 2005, at 8:19:47
In reply to Re: ((((((((((((B2Chica)))))))))))))))) » B2chica, posted by justyourlaugh on May 28, 2005, at 1:00:37
Posted by B2chica on May 31, 2005, at 10:48:36
In reply to Re: ((((((((((((B2Chica)))))))))))))))) » B2chica, posted by justyourlaugh on May 28, 2005, at 1:00:37
i hear ya.
thank you for the support and understanding.
b2c.> b2..
> i could go on and on..
> we share the boat..great progress..i wish you all the strenght..at a time i abused seroquel..to go away..we cant thank god or fairies can we?..we must thanks ourselves..we will continue..
This is the end of the thread.
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