Shown: posts 1 to 4 of 4. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by partlycloudy on August 27, 2004, at 6:48:57
So does that mean it's not ME talking? I get all maudlin and feeling ever so sorry for myself when drunk. Is it because the alcohol peels away those inhibitions and that's the real, yes-it's-true-I-really-AM-a-loser pathetic person talking?
Or is it that the alcohol prevents my liver from processing my meds correctly and so my depression rears its head at that time??
In which case, am I ever going to get better without meds? I already know I can't drink. Hasn't stopped me, but I know that I can't do it. You know, I don't personally believe that drinking is a response to stress. I think it's a habit, an addiction. Definitely a spiritual one. I can go weeks and months without drinking and not experience physical withdrawl. I like how it alters my world. I like that loopy, loosey-goosey feeling. I wish someone would put duct tape on my mouth with a little hole for a straw so I could drink the martinis without saying stupid things. I guess you'd have to glue my fingers together, too, so I wouldn't be able to use a keyboard but could still pick up a glass.
Posted by SAW on August 27, 2004, at 7:26:41
In reply to It's the drink talking, posted by partlycloudy on August 27, 2004, at 6:48:57
Oh Gosh partlycloudy - you could be my twin. You have hit the nail on the head. I have been trying to write about the same thing for a couple of days but if I admit it in writing then I'M DONE FOR! I want to stop BUT I REALLY DON'T WANT TO STOP. As for peeling away those inhibitions, goodness, I have said and done hurtful things that I would NEVER do sober. And the worst is, I never remember. Still doesn't stop me drinking. I kept saying that when I start meds it will get better. It stopped me drinking for one night only. I HATE what alcohol has done to my life. I also HATE to stop.
Well, that's that!
Sabrina
Posted by partlycloudy on August 27, 2004, at 8:00:02
In reply to Re: It's the drink talking » partlycloudy, posted by SAW on August 27, 2004, at 7:26:41
...that the alcoholism is at the root of my very soul. It's the thing that is defining who I am. I have tried AA. I have tried Rational Recovery. I have tried Women in Sobriety.
They say that admitting that you have a problem is really important. I've known I have a problem since the day I first started drinking. It's been a long, long time now. I know that my doctors and therapists can't get me out of this. I hope I can get to the point of being able to help myself before this stuff kills me.
Since I started taking antidepressants I have a worse time recovering from a drunk. Feel worse, for a longer time.
Perhaps some time in a cave would be good.
Posted by SAW on August 27, 2004, at 8:33:37
In reply to I have this feeling..., posted by partlycloudy on August 27, 2004, at 8:00:02
Yes, I find that since starting AD I just get drunk a lot quicker. But then I don't sip either, I gulp! I
I really identify with you. I know what I should do, but I'm in such a grip of not wanting to do it. I have just printed a manual from Smart Recovery. I have not read any of it yet, you may know of them already, but if not, it's www.smartrecovery.org
Take care partlycloudly. I am on my way home now - it's been a long day and think I'd like a drink! (Oh I'm hopeless!!) Will check in on Mon.
A huge hug to you
Sabrina
This is the end of the thread.
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