Shown: posts 1 to 16 of 16. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Impermanence on May 29, 2004, at 17:20:28
I've taken 15mg of bromazepam to calm myself.. All that has made me do is give me the confidence to go to my local off licence (which is a mile away) and buy another 70cl of Pernod.. Benzo's do nothing more than help me get more drink.. I have a weeks supply of benzos left and I want to take them all for that (not give a fuck) feeling. To all that undrstand addiction.... God it's a tough job not taking 30mg more right now... I have the pills.. My psychiatrist will give up on me if I indulge again :(, Well I can eat E and smoke weed and she will never know lol.. The mental health system here is so up to date... *off to get some pills*
Posted by Impermanence on May 29, 2004, at 17:23:24
In reply to I can't stop drinking, posted by Impermanence on May 29, 2004, at 17:20:28
Yes I'm only fooling myself!!! lol who cares!!! I'll be off my tits tonight.................
Posted by Fred23 on May 29, 2004, at 23:24:40
In reply to I can't stop drinking, posted by Impermanence on May 29, 2004, at 17:20:28
> Benzo's do nothing more than help me get more drink.. I have a weeks supply of benzos left and I want to take them all ...
Alcohol plus benzos are bad news together, with bizarre "rules" governing how they interact, but usually each amplifying the worst of the other.
Do you have anyone to hold the benzos for you, to avoid a syngergistic overdose? Or anyone to simply stay with, and "watch over" you?
Posted by partlycloudy on May 30, 2004, at 6:55:38
In reply to Re: I can't stop drinking » Impermanence, posted by Fred23 on May 29, 2004, at 23:24:40
Hope you're feeling better today, I'm at the point that I think I need a baby sitter to sit on me when I want to dash out to the store for some booze. I am trying to find something constructive to distract me. It's just too easy to sit in the house and convince myself that escaping into a bottle is really what I need. And it's so easy to get it, too.
Posted by Impermanence on May 30, 2004, at 8:18:15
In reply to Re: I can't stop drinking, posted by partlycloudy on May 30, 2004, at 6:55:38
It's really really hard at the moment, I woke up this morning with a hangover, took my pills and a few paracetamol, found a drink left in last nights bottle and I CRAVE ALCOHOL right now. All I want to do is drink myself to sleep again.
I'm working very hard right now to stop myself self from buying a bottle. As you said it's sooo easy to get it, it's just down the street, but it's going to mess me up for yet another day. I'm not sure what I'll do but I'll do my best not to.I hope you're o.k. btw, you get yourself a babysitter hun, don't drink, once it starts it's so hard to stop. My thoughts are with you. xxx
And Fred23, thanks for your concern, I diden't take all my benzo's btw, I just wanted too. I can't abuse them because I coulden't survive the week without them.
Posted by partlycloudy on May 30, 2004, at 9:16:27
In reply to Re: I can't stop drinking, posted by Impermanence on May 30, 2004, at 8:18:15
The only time I'm able to resist drinking is when my husband is not travelling with work. He's in sales so there are many nights when I'm on my own. And I don't drink when he's home because I don't feel I need to, not that he would disapprove. He's as understanding as someone can be who doesn't have this dreadful addiction.
Try going for a walk, to a museum, is there someone you can ring up who's not a pub pal?
Posted by Fred23 on May 30, 2004, at 19:49:15
In reply to Re: I can't stop drinking, posted by Impermanence on May 30, 2004, at 8:18:15
> I CRAVE ALCOHOL right now.
> And Fred23, thanks for your concern, I diden't take all my benzo's btw, I just wanted too. I can't abuse them because I coulden't survive the week without them.
My theory is that one should either have alcohol or benzos in their life, but not both.
Together they are bad news, and less "enjoyable" than either alone. (And the emotional "dip" caused by the alcohol is deeper than alcohol alone.)
One can make the body have less of a reaction to the other. Coming off of benzos can make a "hunger" for alcohol, which if consumed can cause the bad synergy noted above.
Since "picking" alcohol is the wrong choice, that leaves therapeutic doses of benzos as the "right" choice.
Posted by Dr. Bob on May 31, 2004, at 21:59:55
In reply to I can't stop drinking, posted by Impermanence on May 29, 2004, at 17:20:28
> I want to take them all for that (not give a f[*]ck) feeling.
Sorry to be such a prude, but please don't use language that could offend others.
If you have any questions or comments about this or about posting policies in general, or are interested in alternative ways of expressing yourself, please see the FAQ:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#civil
or redirect a follow-up to Psycho-Babble Administration.
Thanks,
Bob
Posted by Caper on June 2, 2004, at 1:56:35
In reply to Re: I can't stop drinking, posted by Impermanence on May 30, 2004, at 8:18:15
Hi Impermanence,
I'm an American and I may be wrong about the following but just in case I'm not....
If paracetamol is the same as acetominophen (American Tylenol) then the you probably shouldn't be taking it. The combination of alcohol and Tylenol can cause severe liver problems. If I'm right and they _are_ the same drugs, maybe you could try ibuprofen or aspirin instead. If I'm wrong then what _is_ paracetamol? (I'm trying to learn your language :) )
I'm just out of detox again and drinking already. Just one bottle of wine, but I'm kicking myself for it. Tomorrow I am NOT buying anymore. I've found one thing that helps my cravings. It may sound weird but it's exercise- I walk an hour or more on a treadmill in my home, then by the time I've showered and look decent enough to leave the house to buy, the craving is sometimes gone, plus I'm either feeling good from the exercise or I'm tired from it and can take a nap.
Good luck, I'll be wishing you well.
Caper
> It's really really hard at the moment, I woke up this morning with a hangover, took my pills and a few paracetamol, found a drink left in last nights bottle and I CRAVE ALCOHOL right now. All I want to do is drink myself to sleep again.
> I'm working very hard right now to stop myself self from buying a bottle. As you said it's sooo easy to get it, it's just down the street, but it's going to mess me up for yet another day. I'm not sure what I'll do but I'll do my best not to.
>
> I hope you're o.k. btw, you get yourself a babysitter hun, don't drink, once it starts it's so hard to stop. My thoughts are with you. xxx
>
> And Fred23, thanks for your concern, I diden't take all my benzo's btw, I just wanted too. I can't abuse them because I coulden't survive the week without them.
Posted by Impermanence on June 2, 2004, at 18:56:13
In reply to warning: if paracetamol is Tylenol....., posted by Caper on June 2, 2004, at 1:56:35
Hi Caper, sorry to here you're drinking again, truth is I bought 35cl of scotch whiskey tonight (not much) but I'm just fooling myself yet again (as you are). When I said paracetamol I ment paracetamol without codeine added which I think Tylenol has. I know it's the paracetamol thats dangerous to your liver but small doses (1000mg) with a hangover is harmless.
During one of my four serious suicide attempts I took an overdose of paracetamol/codeine tablets (20,000 & 1,200 mg respectively) with 50mg of diazepam, 300mg of Zispin (Remeron) a bottle of vodka, about 15 cans of lager and two badly slit wrists not so long ago and I lived through that. In fact I took the tube out of my penis myself the next morning and sneaked out of intensive care and got a taxi home lol, so I think two tablets for a hangover in my eyes is pretty harmless!!! I have a tough stomach hun. Thanks for your concern all the same.
You seem to be in and out of detox all the time. I don't think detox is what you need Caper, if you keep drinking as soon as you come out then you're not dealing with the underlying issues that are causing your relapses. Drinking took a rapid hold on you, you're not (as I said before) drinking very long. I think you might need serious psychotherapy to get to the root of your problem. It's all well and good getting off the poison, but staying off it takes getting in touch with your true emotions.
Anyway I'm not one to give advice, I can't seem to stop bloody drinking either.Btw exercise really is fantastic, it's only since I've been running a few miles on the treadmill every few days that I've really got control of my problems, keep it up (you go girl!!!), it boosts your self-esteem.
We will get through this Caper.
Lot's of love. xxx
Posted by Caper on June 2, 2004, at 21:37:15
In reply to Re: warning: if paracetamol is Tylenol..... » Caper, posted by Impermanence on June 2, 2004, at 18:56:13
Hello Impermanence,
Glad to hear from you. Actually Tylenol has no codeine, it's just acetominophen. We in the US can't get codeine without a prescription (I don't know whether to be glad about that or not!) True the liver damage thing is a fairly rare complication but just wanted to make sure you were aware.
I'm happy to hear you sounding more upbeat. You're right we WILL beat this, just not as easily as we'd like.
I can relate to the suicide attempts. Shamefully (especially because I have a child)last February I checked into a hotel, drank a liter and half of vodka and took a bottle each of seroquel and trazodone. Fortunately (or unfortunately, depending on my mood) I got so sick that I threw up most of the pills before they could be metabolized and ended up just sleeping for about 16 hours. Then I woke up and realized how frantic my family must be. It was awful.
You are also right about my detoxes. Every time I go in I say "I know I need detox, but the depression has been here since I was SEVEN years old, so can we please address that too?" But every time they say "Detox is the main priority" and ignore my pleas for information about meds I'm on, have been on, might use in the future. They are even vague about whether I'm Bipolar.
I guess I need to get sober for a few weeks and then check myself in somewhere so they can focus on the real problem- because I really believe if it weren't for the depression and some recent traumas, I probably wouldn't have become addicted.
It's always great hearing from you. Best of luck to you.
Hugs,
Caper
P.S. what is bromazepam (sp?) in American English, if you know?
> Hi Caper, sorry to here you're drinking again, truth is I bought 35cl of scotch whiskey tonight (not much) but I'm just fooling myself yet again (as you are). When I said paracetamol I ment paracetamol without codeine added which I think Tylenol has. I know it's the paracetamol thats dangerous to your liver but small doses (1000mg) with a hangover is harmless.
>
> During one of my four serious suicide attempts I took an overdose of paracetamol/codeine tablets (20,000 & 1,200 mg respectively) with 50mg of diazepam, 300mg of Zispin (Remeron) a bottle of vodka, about 15 cans of lager and two badly slit wrists not so long ago and I lived through that. In fact I took the tube out of my penis myself the next morning and sneaked out of intensive care and got a taxi home lol, so I think two tablets for a hangover in my eyes is pretty harmless!!! I have a tough stomach hun. Thanks for your concern all the same.
>
> You seem to be in and out of detox all the time. I don't think detox is what you need Caper, if you keep drinking as soon as you come out then you're not dealing with the underlying issues that are causing your relapses. Drinking took a rapid hold on you, you're not (as I said before) drinking very long. I think you might need serious psychotherapy to get to the root of your problem. It's all well and good getting off the poison, but staying off it takes getting in touch with your true emotions.
> Anyway I'm not one to give advice, I can't seem to stop bloody drinking either.
>
> Btw exercise really is fantastic, it's only since I've been running a few miles on the treadmill every few days that I've really got control of my problems, keep it up (you go girl!!!), it boosts your self-esteem.
>
> We will get through this Caper.
> Lot's of love. xxx
Posted by Impermanence on June 3, 2004, at 0:07:49
In reply to Re: warning: if paracetamol is Tylenol..... » Impermanence, posted by Caper on June 2, 2004, at 21:37:15
Hay Caper, over here you can buy paracetamol / codeine tablets under many brand names without prescription. They help mainly for migraine. A quick serch on google gave me different ingredients for Tylenol, some sites said it uncluded codeine some diden't, I think it might differ depending on what country you live. Anyway I have no experience with this particular drug.
I see you're no stranger to suicide yourself, it's lucky you got sick in time hun (depending on your mood lol). I was found unconscious not long after I took that overdose and rushed to hospital where my stomach was pumped, so we're both lucky gits!!!! (depending on our mood lol).
I'm sure your "recent traumas" being addressed could save you alot of future detox Caper, therapy is the best solution. I am saddened to here you've been suffering depression since the tender age of 7, that is just not right. Whatever about having problems as an adult, no child should have to suffer depression at such a young age. I am here if you ever feel like sharing your thoughts on why you felt so down so young.
I ment what I said about us getting through this, we really will, just believe in yourself and the world is your oyster. YOU CAN do anything if you really put your mind to it. I think both of us arent really ready to live the sober life, it takes time. I said before; you/we have to truly want to give up before we actually do.
You asked what bromazepam is, it chemical name is the same in the u.s. It's a benzodiazepine. The Brand name by Roche over here is Lexotan, in the U.S. I think it's Lexotanil. It's effects are the same as Xanax but with a longer half life.
Warm hugs xxx
Posted by Caper on June 3, 2004, at 9:29:11
In reply to Re: warning: if paracetamol is Tylenol..... » Caper, posted by Impermanence on June 3, 2004, at 0:07:49
Hi Impermanence,
You're right about the tylenol thing: there is regular tylenol that anyone can buy, but once codeine is added it becomes a Rx drug (Tylenol #3 or #4). Just wanted to make sure you protect your liver. At my last detox the doctor told me two of my liver enzymes were ever so slightly abnormal- not a good sign. A warning to me I think, especially about the hard alcohol. Vodka really did a number on me!
As for the suicide attempts, yes we were both lucky. My belief, when I'm in my right mind, is that we do not really wish to die, we just don't want to feel/live this way any longer. What we have to remember though is that what we seek through suicide- peace, eternal sleep, oblivion- we won't find because we'll be DEAD. We won't be around to have whatever we sought and will also leave our loved ones to total devastation.Thanks for the info on the med you use. I'm always eager to improve my "English". *smile*
As far as the depression at such a young age, I think a lot had to do with being the "healthy child" with two diabetic siblings plus severe shyness. I was the "good girl", the one the parents never had to worry about, so they never did. I had straight A's, gave no problems whatsoever to my parents so they didn't really notice me much at all.
They failed to realize that by 14 I was starving myself to death until the school gym teacher educated them on anorexia. I'm 5 ft. 6in. tall but weighed about 95 pounds. Even after their "alert" they just told me to start eating better and assumed their "good girl" would do so. I was 19 before I kicked the anorexia, which I think is just another form of addiction.
With the alcohol, I drank steadily every day for nine months while living with my family and I swear no one would know even now if I hadn't confessed. I guess I just felt ignored because I was such an "easy" child- the brothers got all the attention. Not that I'm blaming my parents, they are good parents and did the best they could.
I also agree with you regarding being "ready" to kick our addictions. One thing that's helping me a little is exercise and attention to diet. Also I'm taking thiamine (Vitamin B1 I think) and folic acid supplements. Supposedly they help reduce cravings a bit and help make up for the typical alcoholic malnutrition. I'm trying to eat better too. I'm hoping attention to total health will lead to a decrease in the drinking.
Wow, I've really babbled on and on and on. I thank you for your posts though. I really like hearing from you, whether you are down or up. If you ever want a more private chat/vent/whatever my e-mail here is Caper@playful.com.
How are you doing now?
Very big hug,
Caper
> Hay Caper, over here you can buy paracetamol / codeine tablets under many brand names without prescription. They help mainly for migraine. A quick serch on google gave me different ingredients for Tylenol, some sites said it uncluded codeine some diden't, I think it might differ depending on what country you live. Anyway I have no experience with this particular drug.
>
> I see you're no stranger to suicide yourself, it's lucky you got sick in time hun (depending on your mood lol). I was found unconscious not long after I took that overdose and rushed to hospital where my stomach was pumped, so we're both lucky gits!!!! (depending on our mood lol).
>
> I'm sure your "recent traumas" being addressed could save you alot of future detox Caper, therapy is the best solution. I am saddened to here you've been suffering depression since the tender age of 7, that is just not right. Whatever about having problems as an adult, no child should have to suffer depression at such a young age. I am here if you ever feel like sharing your thoughts on why you felt so down so young.
>
> I ment what I said about us getting through this, we really will, just believe in yourself and the world is your oyster. YOU CAN do anything if you really put your mind to it. I think both of us arent really ready to live the sober life, it takes time. I said before; you/we have to truly want to give up before we actually do.
>
> You asked what bromazepam is, it chemical name is the same in the u.s. It's a benzodiazepine. The Brand name by Roche over here is Lexotan, in the U.S. I think it's Lexotanil. It's effects are the same as Xanax but with a longer half life.
>
> Warm hugs xxx
>
>
Posted by NikkiT2 on June 5, 2004, at 7:45:40
In reply to Re: I can't stop drinking, posted by Impermanence on May 30, 2004, at 8:18:15
See, by replying to a post of yours on the archived page, it is being shown on the "new" page.
Just using this as an example.
Posted by guttersnipe on June 15, 2004, at 1:42:36
In reply to tylenol, etc. » Impermanence, posted by Caper on June 3, 2004, at 9:29:11
I hope this doesn't violate Dr. Bob's rules for posting in this forum ... but in the interest of looking out for people's livers, I will comment that I have read that it is possible to separate out most of the paracetamol (called acetaminophen in the U.S.) from the codeine by xxx
Better yet, see if you can get your hands on pure codeine phosphate that hasn't been stepped on with acetaminophen. It's available with a scrip -- just not over the counter as Tylenol 3s are in many places.
A number of other analgesic medications also have acetaminophen in them -- most, if not all, hydrocodone pills (e.g., Vicodin, Lortab, Dologesic, etc.), many oxycodone pills (PercoDAN is OK, but PercoCET has acetaminophen), and some others. Always a good idea to read the fine print that comes with your prescription ...
Please stay safe, yall.
Posted by Dr. Bob on June 15, 2004, at 19:53:17
In reply to Re: tylenol, etc. » Caper, posted by guttersnipe on June 15, 2004, at 1:42:36
> I hope this doesn't violate Dr. Bob's rules for posting in this forum ... but in the interest of looking out for people's livers, I will comment that I have read that it is possible to separate out most of the paracetamol (called acetaminophen in the U.S.) from the codeine by xxx
The FAQ does say not to explain how to produce medication:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#illegal
Thanks,
Bob
This is the end of the thread.
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