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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 17 of 17. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by rainyday on April 21, 2004, at 7:18:14
I have been searching for a non 12-step recovery group for something really specific: non-smoking, female alcoholics. I don't have the resources to go to a private program; I am sober (now, at least) and I am looking for the tools to keep me this way and functioning in life. I tried looking into Women For Sobriety, but they want you to read their books, listen to their tapes, all that stuff. I really resist being "organized" into any program. Maybe what I am looking for doesn't exist?
I know AA works for so many people, but (as I have posted before) it wasn't the right place for me. Any suggestions would be appreciated.
Posted by arrie on April 21, 2004, at 20:33:35
In reply to Non 12-step addiction recovery, posted by rainyday on April 21, 2004, at 7:18:14
I am not sure if this is 100% accurrate but there is program called Judas Thadeous or something, do an internet search. Its basic premise is you can teach yourself control. just do a search on addictions recovery and something should pop up that sounds like the above. Good luck
Posted by rainyday on April 22, 2004, at 7:52:32
In reply to Re: Non 12-step addiction recovery, posted by arrie on April 21, 2004, at 20:33:35
Thank you so much!!!
Posted by man_oh_man1977 on April 24, 2004, at 22:28:11
In reply to Re: Non 12-step addiction recovery » arrie, posted by rainyday on April 22, 2004, at 7:52:32
Hi Rainyday,
Try Rational Recovery (there is a book that you can study at your own pace, and is really quite remarkable). It's been a breakthrough for me. It may not cater to your specific needs, but it is *so* informative and uplifting. Please give it a shot and let me know what you think.
Man-oh-man
Posted by rainyday on April 25, 2004, at 6:45:14
In reply to Re: Non 12-step addiction recovery, posted by man_oh_man1977 on April 24, 2004, at 22:28:11
Man_oh_Man, that sounds like an interesting book. I looked around on Amazon and I was really surprised at how much literature out there that does not support 12-step programs. I really felt like I was a freak because of how I ultimately responded.
I'm so grateful for all the suggestions and resources available here; my alcoholism is such a major part of who I am - it would be a true achievement for me to start to deal with it in a successful manner at last.
Posted by beatrix34 on April 29, 2004, at 17:36:09
In reply to Non 12-step addiction recovery, posted by rainyday on April 21, 2004, at 7:18:14
I too had a problem with AA. I have been in recovery now for just over 5 years. I actually went to the NA program, I found it more progressive, spiritual but not in a specific religion, and the idea is that addiction is the disease, not the substance you use whether it be drugs, alcohol, or cigarettes. There are non-smoking meetings, and women only meetings. I too was VERY hesitant to get involved in a "group" but it has proven to be a great support for me. Good luck to you!
Posted by man_oh_man1977 on May 1, 2004, at 21:44:20
In reply to Re: Non 12-step addiction recovery, posted by beatrix34 on April 29, 2004, at 17:36:09
Hi beatrix34,
Good to hear from you... I have been using Rational Recovery, which is essentially a self-taught method for abstinence. It's working like a charm - only prob. I feel like I am losing friends left and right. Some I think are intimitated that I have chosen the path of sobriety. And others, I am not quite sure... I try not to jump to conclusions. The flip side of this is that I'm not sure my drug-buddies were really friends at all; just people to get high with. I am feeling lonely right now, but I think I have a few flames on the horizon. Ahhhh, a boyfriend would be *so* great right now. I don't even care about sex; I just want to cuddle. Thanks for the reply - I thought this was a "dead-thread".
All my best,
Man-oh-man
Posted by beatrix34 on May 4, 2004, at 15:09:29
In reply to Re: Non 12-step addiction recovery, posted by man_oh_man1977 on May 1, 2004, at 21:44:20
Hey there -
Hang in there. I lost a ton of my so-called "friends" when I got sober. Once I started to enjoy life without substances I noticed that a lot of these people were actually pretty un-stimulating (is that even a word :)). I decided that they were not good for me and it gave me my "power" back in making that decision. I can COMPLETELY relate to the loneliness. I got into a "relationship" 4 mos after I stopped using. He was a lot older than I am but it didn't matter at the time. I thought that I needed someone to help with my lonliness. I dated him for 8 mos until I realised that I was still lonely, even with his company. Healing that feeling is an inside job, and an ongoing process. It does get easier with some work, so have faith...I eventually attracted new people in my life that are good for me, but the work that came prior to that was the tough road of figuring out just who I was. What I liked to do, and even what my own morals and boundaries were. I REALLY believe that having a support system around me of people going through something similar (if not exactly the same) helped me a ton to stay clean. If ever you need an ear, or want to hear about my experience, I would be happy to listen and correspond. Sending you a BIG HUG!!!! Be kind to yourself.
Bea
Posted by man_oh_man1977 on May 4, 2004, at 22:33:22
In reply to Re: Non 12-step addiction recovery, posted by beatrix34 on May 4, 2004, at 15:09:29
Hey Bea,
Happy to get a post from you. I almost gave one of my buddies and ultimatim today; what is your plan for future use, and what do you think the consequences would be? But, he was at a local tavern, and I've been in a rage this evening, and although I wouldn't drink tonight, I was scared I would get in a brawl with someone. I think it's wise to not jump into a relationship right now - my judgement is a bit screwy these days. Coming down from coke, pills and marijuana at the same time have not been good for my nerves! I did have a great time today w/ one of my best friends. Her husband is an IV coke user - pretty serious stuff. His wife and I have a history of using together, but keep each other in check. We both wanted to drink tonight at dinner, but didn't and then I commented "isn't this more fun w/o the alcohol". She wholeheartedly agreed, and we shared some common ground! I'm still kind of cranky tonight, but your post cheered me up! Thank you for the BIG HUG!!! Right back at 'ya, kid.
Man oh Man,
P.S. Un-stimulating might not be a word, but it works for me!
Posted by beatrix34 on May 5, 2004, at 14:35:59
In reply to Re: Non 12-step addiction recovery, posted by man_oh_man1977 on May 4, 2004, at 22:33:22
Yay! Good for you, not drinking at dinner...that is tough. I too was a coke and alcohol user. It's not easy to stop...just one day at a time, one hour, one minute, one second...etc. Keep on movin' it gets easier I swear, and just think, you're waking up when everyone else is waking up instead of looking around at everyone waking up and just heading off to bed...that stuff used to drive me crazy...and make me feel like an outcast. Just be careful hanging out with people that are still using when you feel vulnerable...the ever elusive "they" say...sit in the barber chair long enough and your bound to get a haircut... ;) One thing that helped me get through the tough times was telling myself that I "can use and drink" I just CHOOSE not to". That way I felt like I had "power" over my situation. It made me feel like an empowered human being and not a victim of my addiction...
Trying not to be preachy...hope you are feeling well today!
B
Posted by owenus32 on May 18, 2004, at 15:58:50
In reply to Re: Non 12-step addiction recovery, posted by beatrix34 on May 5, 2004, at 14:35:59
For my 2 cents I say go to AA lol. I know I'm biased. But I don;t claim that it's the only way to stop drinking because I don't know that.Good luck
Owen
Posted by partlycloudy on May 18, 2004, at 18:36:28
In reply to Re: Non 12-step addiction recovery, posted by owenus32 on May 18, 2004, at 15:58:50
Thanks for your post. I have pretty much decided that I will find my own path, with help and support. I am not a "joiner", no matter what it is. I looked at our AA meetings here and there are NO women only groups, and NO non smoking groups. Those were my criteria for trying it again. I live in red-neckville.
Posted by man_oh_man1977 on May 20, 2004, at 13:39:04
In reply to Re: Non 12-step addiction recovery, posted by owenus32 on May 18, 2004, at 15:58:50
Hi Owen,
I hope that AA has been successful for you. I know it works for some people. However, that being said, this is really a thread about *non* 12 step programs. In the AA world, I would be a considered a "dry drunk", in denial of my "disease". Please check out Rational Recovery; I think the last or current issue of "Psychology Today", and an interesting and insightful article in the book "You Are Being Lied To" by Russel Kick, editor.
I don't know that Dr. Bob would let me post the summary of the chapter in the "Lied To", although I suspect the author (with his permission) wouldn't mind.
So for, *my* two cents worth, go to the library, inform yourself (if your library does not carry these books/periodicals they will most likely order them for you - or go to a well stocked bookstore), and *remember* there are often many different solutions to complex problems. It's hard, learning how to cope, and a group setting would be nice, but, gosh!, this thread is for those folks who are *discouraged* by 12-step groups.
FWIW,
Man-oh-manP.S. I've been clean and sober now for maybe 2 months, and had been trickling down other other substances for about a year. I am enjoying *real* life; spring smells great, the last full moon was awe inspiring, and I am managing to slowly make new friends who are drug free! (There are also friends of mine that I used to avoid, b/c they didn't do drugs, and for the most part, they are happy to hear from me!)
Posted by man_oh_man1977 on May 20, 2004, at 15:10:51
In reply to Re: Non 12-step addiction recovery » owenus32, posted by partlycloudy on May 18, 2004, at 18:36:28
Hey owenus32,
The Psychology Today article is from their June '04 issue:
The Surprising Truth About Addiction:
pgs. 43 - 46HTH,
Man-oh-man
Posted by Dr. Bob on May 21, 2004, at 23:53:14
In reply to Re: Non 12-step addiction recovery, posted by man_oh_man1977 on May 20, 2004, at 13:39:04
> an interesting and insightful article in the book "You Are Being Lied To" by Russel Kick, editor...
I'd just like to plug the double double quotes feature at this site:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#amazon
The first time anyone refers to a book without using this option, I post this to try to make sure he or she at least knows about it. It's just an option, though, and doesn't *have* to be used. If people *choose* not to use it, I'd be interested why not, but I'd like that redirected to Psycho-Babble Administration:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20020918/msgs/7717.html
Thanks!
Bob
Posted by man_oh_man1977 on June 1, 2004, at 16:07:46
In reply to Re: double double quotes » man_oh_man1977, posted by Dr. Bob on May 21, 2004, at 23:53:14
> I'd just like to plug the double double quotes feature at this site:Okay, Dr. Bob - never tried the double quotes. but here we go:
"Rational Recovery",
by Jack Trimpey"You Are Being Lied To",
Various authors; edited by Russ KickAs for the Psychology Today article; it's probably too late for it to be on the newstands, so try your local library. Once again, it's :
The Psychology Today article is from their June '04 issue:
The Surprising Truth About Addiction:
pgs. 43 - 46again. HTH -
Man-oh-man
Posted by Dr. Bob on June 3, 2004, at 15:00:46
In reply to Re: double double quotes, posted by man_oh_man1977 on June 1, 2004, at 16:07:46
This is the end of the thread.
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