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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 10 of 10. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by inanimate peanut on December 24, 2009, at 18:32:56
Is anyone else obsessed with their meds? I swear it's all I think about 24/7. I was on Parnate 60mg and was pinning every shred of hope I had in this life to increasing the Parnate and adding Nortriptyline. My doc said no to both of those yesterday and it killed me. I've been trying to find Parnate online to buy to increase it myself with little luck. I think I may have found a way to do it myself anyway. I can also buy the nortriptyline online and do that myself to. But, that is not the point. The point is that I am OBSESSED about it. I spend all of my time posting on the med boards with questions about it, thinking about what my next steps should be. My doctor saying no crushed my world because I had all my hopes pinned on those meds. It's just that I have tried so many meds in the past and have so few options left that I'm just clinging to it so hard. I don't want to be depressed like this forever and I'm scared that if these meds don't work I will be and I'll never get any better! It's almost like I think if I keep looking at the message boards that I have some control over whether the meds will work, although I know at a logical level that's not true. I need to get stuff done to prepare for Christmas and I just can't make myself leave. I thought maybe writing it out and seeing how ridiculous it all is would help. I guess we'll see.
Posted by manic666 on December 25, 2009, at 3:35:04
In reply to Obsessed with my meds, posted by inanimate peanut on December 24, 2009, at 18:32:56
your getting med phobia obsession. your looking like us for the end of the rainbow. dont let it take your life over ,its just another part of your depression.your in a bad place at he moment so it can only get better, but you will need to talk to someone about the med thing, anxierty makes you think all sorts of crazy bad things,stay safe
Posted by janejane on December 25, 2009, at 4:48:50
In reply to Obsessed with my meds, posted by inanimate peanut on December 24, 2009, at 18:32:56
Hey Peanut,
I've been obsessed with my depression treatment since January of this year. I probably average a few hours a day reading about it. (I've mostly been concentrating on natural approaches, but have been thinking of going back on meds.) I really don't think it's a bad thing. As I see it, I want to focus what energy I have on getting rid of the depression so I can be functional and get on with my life.
I haven't been keeping up with the posts about your meds (don't know anything about the stuff you're on so doubt I could be very helpful), but is there any way you can find a new p-doc who might be more sympathetic?
Posted by Phillipa on December 25, 2009, at 12:25:28
In reply to Re: Obsessed with my meds, posted by janejane on December 25, 2009, at 4:48:50
Peanut just look at the meds board and you'll know your not alone. Now I'm more anxious about the osteoporosis as the docs said I'll fall break a hip and die 50% in first years. Why am I doing this as the meds to not even fix it are after l00's of google searches are all negative no positive reviews and yes a generalization but most get worse on the biophosphinates and reclast IV. Someone make a decision for me I'm overwhelmed and now the TV DR OZ said most heart attacks Christmas and New Years so will I have a heart attack. I think I'm nuts. Phillipa
Posted by inanimate peanut on December 26, 2009, at 0:06:34
In reply to Re: Obsessed with my meds, posted by Phillipa on December 25, 2009, at 12:25:28
I can't imagine having to deal with something like that on top of the depression itself. I'm sorry I know nothing about that that could be helpful in any way, but I'm definitely thinking about you!
Posted by inanimate peanut on December 26, 2009, at 0:18:29
In reply to Re: Obsessed with my meds, posted by janejane on December 25, 2009, at 4:48:50
My pdoc has actually been really sympathetic for the 1.5 years that I've been with her. She always returns calls the same day and gets me in quick if I really need an appointment. She's just saying no now because it's what the PDR Bible says she can and cannot do. I think I would have a really tough time finding a doc that would disagree with her without specifically sending a form letter out saying "dear doc, would you prescribe high doses of parnate with nortriptyline?" Believe me, I've thought about doing that- lol. I'm more worried now that I've made her mad and she won't want to work with me at all. I was a real b to her the other day. I feel really bad about it now, because I'm really not a mean person I was just so desperate to get the meds I thought would make me feel better. The irony is that now that I'm trying the increase I don't think it's going to work anyway. I'm so desperate for something/anything to make me feel better that I don't really care about the consequences. I'd give a kidney right now if it would make this bipolar crap go away.
Posted by inanimate peanut on December 26, 2009, at 0:21:00
In reply to Re: Obsessed with my meds, posted by manic666 on December 25, 2009, at 3:35:04
Thanks-- I know it's all part of the depression but it's so hard to get out of it, ya know
Posted by janejane on December 26, 2009, at 5:29:28
In reply to Re: Obsessed with my meds » janejane, posted by inanimate peanut on December 26, 2009, at 0:18:29
It seems like it's just as well that the experiment isn't working since that means you can drop the subject with her and move on to other strategies. I obviously don't know her but I would think that she knows you well enough by now not to take a single incident too seriously.
Posted by emilyp on December 29, 2009, at 18:43:31
In reply to Re: Obsessed with my meds » janejane, posted by inanimate peanut on December 26, 2009, at 0:18:29
I know that you like your psychiatrist so I don't want to make a big deal. But there are plenty of doctors that will prescribe more than 60 mg of parnate (I was once on 80 mg). And many that will also prescribe nortriptyline with it - again, my doctor has done it on many occasions. You do need someone who is an expert in psychopharmacology. At the very least, you should ask your doctor if she won't prescribe it because of the PDR, would she consider recommending someone for the short term. The PDR should not dictate your medication.
You might want to try this link to find a psychiatrist who is comfortable prescribing combinations.
http://www.psycom.net/depression.central.psychiatrists.html
I suspect most of these doctors will go beyond what is in the PDR
Posted by conundrum on February 5, 2010, at 12:36:41
In reply to Obsessed with my meds, posted by inanimate peanut on December 24, 2009, at 18:32:56
> Is anyone else obsessed with their meds?
Yes! I am starting to realize I am obsessing. Unfortunately I don't enjoy anything and can't get distracted.
>I swear it's all I think about 24/7.
I think about it a lot when I have nothing else on my mind. I"ve noticed if i am reading a book or something I am not thinking about it, but if i am unoccuppied I think about it. Right now I'm wondering if the ginkgo I"m taking could have a negative effect on my drug response.>I was on Parnate 60mg and was pinning every shred of hope I had in this life to increasing the Parnate and adding Nortriptyline. My doc said no to both of those yesterday and it killed me. I've been trying to find Parnate online to buy to increase it myself with little luck. I think I may have found a way to do it myself anyway. I can also buy the nortriptyline online and do that myself to. But, that is not the point.
I've been considering buying Remeron online since my docs won't prescribe it and they want me to try an SNRI but I'm scared of the side effects and withdrawals if it doesn't work.
>It's almost like I think if I keep looking at the message boards that I have some control over whether the meds will work, although I know at a logical level that's not true.Thats what the pdoc I saw said to me and said I was obsessive and that was my real disorder. But for me I actually do believe this, even though it may not be true. So far the best response i've had since trying meds again was a concoction I came up with on my own with the help of someone on this board.
That being said, I still think its not good to spend a lot of time reading about the drugs. It takes a lot of energy and is quite disappointing when nothing works after a lot of research. I just wish I had something to distract me.
This is the end of the thread.
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