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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 16 of 16. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Jay_Bravest_Face on March 4, 2009, at 18:46:08
Okay..I am in a major emotional turmoil...well..almost...right now. On Facebook, I have found people from my junior high all the way into my 20's who I haven't spoken with in a long time. Ex-girlfriends, friends, acquaintances, and it is...well, nice to see they all have (most) nice lives, married and kids and such, and what do I have to show for it all? Ugghh.. Plus, my first SERIOUS girlfriend, who I never really got over, and tried for the past 17 or so years to contact.(I know that sounds silly...but she felt the same way.) Now, last night I contacted her on Facebook, and it was all the same, but I am positive she is married with kids (we just exchanged quick emails..promissed to talk more today.) What I found, er, ironic??...oh this is a bit funny...okay...her husband looks a hell of a lot like me..lol. This is so much to take in, and I am in a depression, again, and feel myself coming apart. So, today doc upped Zyprexa to 10mg, and added 1mg Ativan 2x a day. So, I still feel a bit like I am coming apart. Anybody got more glue?
Jay ;-)
Posted by Kath on March 4, 2009, at 20:36:04
In reply to HELP..Facebook..looking back...should I do that?, posted by Jay_Bravest_Face on March 4, 2009, at 18:46:08
Glue on the way - consider it there!
I find Facebook sort of scarey in that if someone has me as a 'friend' on their Facebook, everyone & their brother sees my name. Or maybe that's not how it works. It sorta freaks me out!!!
LOL
I hope the meds kick in soon & that you feel more together.
hugs, Kath
Posted by Bobby on March 4, 2009, at 22:12:52
In reply to HELP..Facebook..looking back...should I do that?, posted by Jay_Bravest_Face on March 4, 2009, at 18:46:08
You can always go to "Settings" and restrict what info--if any---that people can see about you. As of right now--you still have privacy controls. Folks can only see my picture---and nothing else----unless they are friends. I'm not trying to set a world record to see how many I can get. some people have 500/1000+. I can barely keep up with myself. Hope that helps. BTW--I "know" you're old enough and smart enough to steer clear of danger. I think somewhere in the bible--it says,"In vain--is a net set in the sight of any bird." ---or something like that. Good Luck!
Posted by SLS on March 5, 2009, at 6:28:28
In reply to HELP..Facebook..looking back...should I do that?, posted by Jay_Bravest_Face on March 4, 2009, at 18:46:08
> Okay..I am in a major emotional turmoil...
When I ran into an old flame after exactly 18 years to the day after seeing her last, my life felt like it was turned upside down. Everything about the world seemed different somehow. My life didn't feel the same. I began spending time living in the past. The worst part about the whole thing is that she married one of the few people I truly have a distaste for. Gosh, what a long story this is. I can't even begin telling it. We were suppose to marry each other before I became psychotically manic and was forced into a mental hospital.
Anyway, this emotional upheaval I experienced lasted for about two weeks. It did take quite a bit of work to process the whole thing in my head, but I was determined to get past it. I threw out bad messages and internalized good ones. I knew that this part of my life was over, and that my life in the present is what mattered most as I continue to build a life and a future.
- Scott
Posted by Phillipa on March 5, 2009, at 12:55:22
In reply to Re: HELP..Facebook..looking back...should I do that? » Jay_Bravest_Face, posted by SLS on March 5, 2009, at 6:28:28
Scott same thing happened to me my second husband found out was corrosponding with me kids on there I contacted him he didn't add me as a friend and I still haven't gotten over it as we had a great relationship when married. I was the not nice one. But I miss him a lot. I do not go to facebook too many unsettling things. Love Phillipa
Posted by Jay_Bravest_Face on March 5, 2009, at 17:18:15
In reply to Re: HELP..Facebook..looking back...should I do that? » Jay_Bravest_Face, posted by Kath on March 4, 2009, at 20:36:04
Hi Kath:
Thanks kindly for your reply. Actually, I don't think there is ANY medication cure for what I am going through. (I don't mean this in self pity either) My doc suggested actually that to have a very 'involved' life, and then to have it stopped by not just depression, but some tragedy, is a recipe for PTSD. I was reading through the recent book I have on the subject, and a lot of it applies. I spent the whole day-off in bed, woke up for dinner, and HAD to take 2x 1mg of Ativan (duh! 2mg...I know...my brain is quite, uuh, fuzzy..heh)
After dinner, I think I am a bit calmed down, but just a bit..lol. Well...thanks again...Jay
Posted by Jay_Bravest_Face on March 5, 2009, at 17:30:04
In reply to Re: HELP..Facebook..looking back...should I do that? » Jay_Bravest_Face, posted by Bobby on March 4, 2009, at 22:12:52
> You can always go to "Settings" and restrict what info--if any---that people can see about you. As of right now--you still have privacy controls. Folks can only see my picture---and nothing else----unless they are friends. I'm not trying to set a world record to see how many I can get. some people have 500/1000+. I can barely keep up with myself. Hope that helps. BTW--I "know" you're old enough and smart enough to steer clear of danger. I think somewhere in the bible--it says,"In vain--is a net set in the sight of any bird." ---or something like that. Good Luck!
Thanks kindly Bobby...you are always such a super nice guy! I know about the Facebook settings...but I just continue to "whore" out..lol.. and want to get as many "friends" (whom many aren't, really) as possible. Like a freakin' teenager! lol (and NO offense to any teens implied...just the fact a guy of my age shouldn't be acting that age..)I feel another sadness too, that is everyone else is married and has kids or such. (Well, not *everyone*) But, that is envy, something I shouldn't be a part of. I also like that verse from the bible...I'll have to look it up.
Well, thanks bud for everything...your words are always so nice.
Jay :-)
Posted by Jay_Bravest_Face on March 5, 2009, at 17:58:11
In reply to Re: HELP..Facebook..looking back...should I do that? » Jay_Bravest_Face, posted by SLS on March 5, 2009, at 6:28:28
> > Okay..I am in a major emotional turmoil...
>
> When I ran into an old flame after exactly 18 years to the day after seeing her last, my life felt like it was turned upside down. Everything about the world seemed different somehow. My life didn't feel the same. I began spending time living in the past. The worst part about the whole thing is that she married one of the few people I truly have a distaste for. Gosh, what a long story this is. I can't even begin telling it. We were suppose to marry each other before I became psychotically manic and was forced into a mental hospital.
>
> Anyway, this emotional upheaval I experienced lasted for about two weeks. It did take quite a bit of work to process the whole thing in my head, but I was determined to get past it. I threw out bad messages and internalized good ones. I knew that this part of my life was over, and that my life in the present is what mattered most as I continue to build a life and a future.
>
>
> - ScottThanks very much Scott, for sharing that. I can see how it relates a bit to my situation. I started talking to her a couple of nights ago, and she promised she would get back the next day to online message on Facebook. Well, it has been a few days now, and I have seen where she has posted elsewhere on Facebook, but still no response to mine. Maybe with she being married, having children, she doesn't want to bother with this past in her life. That is fine with me, I guess. I am smart enough to know there are things I can't, and maybe don't want, to change.
Today, I was SO anxiously depressed, I tossed and turned in bed all day up to supper time. Thankfully, I was able to pull myself out of bed just in time to take 2mg of Ativan, which really helped, along with a bit of food. But, I still feel some of that *dread*, just overall gloom.
I hope and pray tonight is MUCH better then last night, and that I can keep away the worst of it all.
Thanks,
Jay
Posted by Kath on March 5, 2009, at 19:26:42
In reply to Re: HELP..Facebook..looking back...should I do that? » Kath, posted by Jay_Bravest_Face on March 5, 2009, at 17:18:15
(((((((((you)))))))
I didn't mean that when the meds 'kick in' everything would be 'all better' Jay. It sounded like things were really feeling awful & I was hoping that the meds kicking in would help you cope.
I admire you so much for forging forward & I can certainly understand how PTSD would be there. I guess if there's a scale for PTSD I have mild effects & I know how tremendously even those affect my life.
Please know that you're in my loving thoughts.
hugs, Kath
Posted by Kath on March 5, 2009, at 19:39:15
In reply to Re: HELP..Facebook..looking back...should I do that? » Bobby, posted by Jay_Bravest_Face on March 5, 2009, at 17:30:04
>I feel another sadness too, that is everyone else is married and has kids or such. (Well, not *everyone*) But, that is envy, something I shouldn't be a part of.
~ ~ Dear Jay - I can relate, in a certain kind of way. I belong to a pottery guild & when I'm at the studio, I hear SO many people talking about their kids - Oh, yes, she's in her final year at teachers' college; he's getting married in the spring & they're going to buy a house; I'm gonna be a grandma in April.......etc etc.
I end up feeling AWFUL. I guess there's some self-pity & some envy & some resentment.....it really hurts to hear those things when my reality is my 25 yr old son having drug-induced schizophrenia, substance abuse issues, no job, living in our basement rec-room - what hope for the future...etc.I can relate to feeling sad that 'everyone else' has kids who are doing FINE & what feels like a 'normal' life. I think it's important for us to remember that NOT everyone else is doing just FINE. I suspect that most people/most families have problems of one sort or another. They're not going to post them on Facebook & they're probably not going to talk openly about them at the pottery studio! But yes, it does hurt anyway to be exposed to that type of thing when we have such very very deep pain & trauma about these things.
I'm sorry for your pain Jay. xo Kath
Posted by Kath on March 5, 2009, at 19:50:49
In reply to Re: HELP..Facebook..looking back...should I do that? » Jay_Bravest_Face, posted by SLS on March 5, 2009, at 6:28:28
> Gosh, what a long story this is. I can't even begin telling it. We were suppose to marry each other before I became psychotically manic and was forced into a mental hospital.
~ ~ ~ Dear Scott - thank you for sharing this tragedy that happened in your life. I'm so sorry. This is so similar to what happened to my son, except that drug use led to his psychosis. With drugs being involved, the whole situation wasn't based on stability, but I doubt that makes the emotional impact less. He & GF planned to get married. While son was in hospital, GF got involved with mutual friend. She returned to Ontario from BC with my son (2 years ago) & acted totally loving, etc. After about a month she went back to BC to "bring back their things". Phoned about 6 hours before we were to pick her up in Toronto airport to say she wasn't returning. Kept postponing return. Finally text-messaged him on his birthday to say that she was in love with --- & not to contact her!
If my son ends up anything like my perception of you, I'll be happy. He is sensitive & seems to be strong in pushing forward, so there seems to be hope.
You're a really special person & I hope you know it.
xoxoxo Kath
Posted by SLS on March 6, 2009, at 6:48:11
In reply to Re: HELP..Facebook..looking back...should I do that? » Jay_Bravest_Face, posted by Kath on March 5, 2009, at 19:26:42
> I admire you so much for forging forward & I can certainly understand how PTSD would be there. I guess if there's a scale for PTSD I have mild effects & I know how tremendously even those affect my life.
Severe depression can produce a PTSD of sorts. Because my depression has been chronic and unrelenting for so many years, I scored very high in the "prisoner of war" axis of the MMPI. The doctors at the NIMH found this to be interesting. I found it to be vindicating. This is not just a painful illness, but a traumatic one as well.
- Scott
Posted by SLS on March 6, 2009, at 6:49:59
In reply to Re: HELP..Facebook..looking back...should I do that? » SLS, posted by Kath on March 5, 2009, at 19:50:49
> If my son ends up anything like my perception of you, I'll be happy. He is sensitive & seems to be strong in pushing forward, so there seems to be hope.
> You're a really special person & I hope you know it.
With your constant positive reinforcement of me, it is hard for me to feel like a waste of people's time.
Thanks.
:-)
- Scott
Posted by Kath on March 6, 2009, at 8:00:50
In reply to Re: HELP..Facebook..looking back...should I do that? » Kath, posted by SLS on March 6, 2009, at 6:49:59
> With your constant positive reinforcement of me, it is hard for me to feel likea waste of people's time.
~~~~~ Oh Heavens!!! C'est impossible!!!!!
You're far from that! love, Kath
Posted by Phillipa on March 6, 2009, at 20:29:23
In reply to Re: HELP..Facebook..looking back...should I do that? » Kath, posted by SLS on March 6, 2009, at 6:49:59
Scott and you're not your one sweetie. Love Phillipa
Posted by Cass on March 16, 2009, at 18:58:17
In reply to HELP..Facebook..looking back...should I do that?, posted by Jay_Bravest_Face on March 4, 2009, at 18:46:08
A married woman really has an advantage when they don't want people from the past to find them. Our names change (at least if we choose to change them). If I thought for a millisecond that people from Jr. High school would be finding me on Facebook, I would never join it. I only want people from my present to be looking me up. You have my sympathy, Jay.
This is the end of the thread.
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