Posted by Jay_Bravest_Face on March 5, 2009, at 17:58:11
In reply to Re: HELP..Facebook..looking back...should I do that? » Jay_Bravest_Face, posted by SLS on March 5, 2009, at 6:28:28
> > Okay..I am in a major emotional turmoil...
>
> When I ran into an old flame after exactly 18 years to the day after seeing her last, my life felt like it was turned upside down. Everything about the world seemed different somehow. My life didn't feel the same. I began spending time living in the past. The worst part about the whole thing is that she married one of the few people I truly have a distaste for. Gosh, what a long story this is. I can't even begin telling it. We were suppose to marry each other before I became psychotically manic and was forced into a mental hospital.
>
> Anyway, this emotional upheaval I experienced lasted for about two weeks. It did take quite a bit of work to process the whole thing in my head, but I was determined to get past it. I threw out bad messages and internalized good ones. I knew that this part of my life was over, and that my life in the present is what mattered most as I continue to build a life and a future.
>
>
> - ScottThanks very much Scott, for sharing that. I can see how it relates a bit to my situation. I started talking to her a couple of nights ago, and she promised she would get back the next day to online message on Facebook. Well, it has been a few days now, and I have seen where she has posted elsewhere on Facebook, but still no response to mine. Maybe with she being married, having children, she doesn't want to bother with this past in her life. That is fine with me, I guess. I am smart enough to know there are things I can't, and maybe don't want, to change.
Today, I was SO anxiously depressed, I tossed and turned in bed all day up to supper time. Thankfully, I was able to pull myself out of bed just in time to take 2mg of Ativan, which really helped, along with a bit of food. But, I still feel some of that *dread*, just overall gloom.
I hope and pray tonight is MUCH better then last night, and that I can keep away the worst of it all.
Thanks,
Jay
poster:Jay_Bravest_Face
thread:883798
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20090226/msgs/883950.html