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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 17 of 17. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by TexasChic on September 20, 2007, at 20:06:55
I don't know if I can put this into any sort of coherent dialogue, but here it goes.
- I don't have enough money to do more than pay my bills. Forget fixing my car, buying clothes for work, or buying something just for fun. Grrrr!
- after working my *ss off last week (14 hour days), my boss had nothing but complaints and wanted to know what the problem was, if I was having problems at home, health issues etc. The thing is...
... my pdoc has had me on different meds which were NOT working - I'm now back on the old ones
... I've had several pdoc appts after work, which I would tell her about so she would know I couldn't stay late, but I always put in my 8 hrs. That's what made her think I have health problems.
... as far as problems at home, well, I'll go into that later.
The bottom line is, there was nothing wrong with my work. It was better than the other two people in my position (and I'm being honest in a way I never could if this wasn't anonymous), but apparently that's not good enough. Argggg!- my brother, the one who got straight A's, got a college degree, stayed with our religious upbringing, got married, does mission work in Mexico, picks up people stranded on the side of the road, and gave back the $200+ envelope of money he found at a ticket booth when the person came looking and was able to say how much was in it, well, he's been smoking crack! Sounds like a bad joke doesn't it? Ahhhhhh!!!!
Why does everything have to be so hard???
-T
P.S. Oh, and I have a review at work tomorrow.
Posted by Phillipa on September 20, 2007, at 21:01:36
In reply to Here we go...., posted by TexasChic on September 20, 2007, at 20:06:55
T well are the old meds working? Maybe you'll get a better review if she thinks you're ill sounds silly but who knows.
So does your brother live near you or didn't he move when you did and you're not near the raining are you? Good luck tomorrow. I'm thinking you'll do really well. Phillipa
Posted by TexasChic on September 20, 2007, at 21:35:18
In reply to Re: Here we go.... » TexasChic, posted by Phillipa on September 20, 2007, at 21:01:36
Thanks P. I just started the new meds, but I know they will work better than what I was taking. Right now I'm just getting the jitters that comes when you first start them, but I know that goes away eventually. I don't want to tell my supervisor anything though because its backfired on me in the past big time. So she will just have to go on wondering.
My brother doesn't really live close, but I forgot to add that he is no longer doing the drugs. Its a long story, but it has to do with a cousin of ours moving in with him and my bro being really low on account of bipolar. Not that that's an excuse, but it does explain why he was vulnerable to a bad influence. The whole thing was so crazy I don't even want to recount it. But we finally got the cousin to leave and I think my bro will do much better now. But its been been very stressful.
I haven't had any rain here, I would love it if I did. I love the rain.
Thanks for the confidence in me. Hopefully things will go well tomorrow.
-T
Posted by ClearSkies on September 21, 2007, at 14:55:12
In reply to Re: Here we go.... » Phillipa, posted by TexasChic on September 20, 2007, at 21:35:18
I hope things go well with your supervisor at work, TC, I'll be thinking of you.
I was watching the dynamics of the workplace where I volunteer, and thanking my lucky stars that I wasn't a paid employee, the other day. Just having the emotional distance that being a volunteer is such a safety buffer for me. Someone can actually tell me I'm not doing something to their liking, and I think to myself, "well, they can find some other volunteer who will do it better." Which is miles away from how I'd think about such a criticism as a paid employee. Interesting. I think it has to do (for me) knowing that I'm giving a high quality of effort, and it that's not satisfactory for someone, then it's *their* problem, not because I'm not doing a good enough job. I'm doing the best job I possibly can.
Don't know if that makes any difference or not, but thought I'd put it out there.
ClearSkies
Posted by Jay_Bravest_Face on September 21, 2007, at 15:50:47
In reply to Here we go...., posted by TexasChic on September 20, 2007, at 20:06:55
Aww...((((TC))))...(hope you don't mind the hug..next time I'll be asking for a Date..;-) The work world these days is crazy. Employers think that their employee's owe them something. My Dad and I where talking, and like he said, this world is hard enough to live in, we don't need *ssholes to make it worse. And I swear, some of these employers are like Nazis! They like to see you squirm and squiggle, like some kind of S&M thing, they get off on it. They are going to be the ones who "lay down the law". Just because they make $1.50 more an hour then you!
I am also sorry to hear about your brother. I am actually in a similar boat. Last weekend I went to my brother's on Saturday night, and as I walked into the kitchen, they where snorting lines of coke. Now my brother certainly doesn't do that every day, maybe 2 to 3x in his life. It's weird to, because even though I was depressed, I had no inclination to snort or ingest anything. But, I wonder, if I had no meds or support, I might be tempted. I certainly don't see it as "wrong", but it's just not exactly the healthiest thing in the world to get addicted to.
Please take care of yourself...take each thing little bit by bit. Best wishes...
Jay (p.s. how did the review go?)
Posted by TexasChic on September 21, 2007, at 20:13:56
In reply to Re: Here we go.... » TexasChic, posted by Jay_Bravest_Face on September 21, 2007, at 15:50:47
Thanks you guys! The review actually went okay. Not spectacular, but not bad either. We talked over some things that were bothering me, and I realized she just doesn't know how she comes off some times. I really thought she was extremely unhappy with my work and mad at me, but now she's just like, "No, you're doing a good job, there's just some things you need to work on". So I guess I have to learn not to be so sensitive... yeah right!
Thanks for the support everyone! I feel much better today. Last night I was just freaking out a bit.
-T
Posted by Phillipa on September 21, 2007, at 20:47:39
In reply to Re: Here we go.... » TexasChic, posted by ClearSkies on September 21, 2007, at 14:55:12
Ditto on that as I volunteered with psych patients in a hospital before nursing and I had fun talking with them. I wasn't responsible in any way what a great feeling. Phillipa
Posted by MidnightBlue on September 23, 2007, at 0:03:17
In reply to Re: Here we go...., posted by TexasChic on September 21, 2007, at 20:13:56
TC,
Look hard at your budget. Can you bring a lunch to work? Cut out Starbucks? Cut back or get rid of cable? Consider taking that bus a couple days a week if the car is only so-so. Think about downsizing to an economical used car.
Can you sell something? Take on an "extra" job even if it is just baby sitting for a few dollars?
Try this trick. Every time you get a five dollar bill don't spend it. SAVE it. It will add up.
If your boss asks too much about your health just say you are changing some meds and you just have to get through the transition to feel better. You don't have to and shouldn't say what they are or what they are for.
You can do this.
MB
Posted by TexasChic on September 24, 2007, at 19:11:41
In reply to Re: Here we go.... » TexasChic, posted by MidnightBlue on September 23, 2007, at 0:03:17
Thanks MB! That's very sweet! I've always been bad with money. Not that I'm not trying to change. I have to remind myself sometimes that I AM supporting myself and paying all my bills (and in a ritzy part of town!). I would have thought was beyond me not too long ago. Really my main problem is over drawing my account and wasting all that money on fees!
Oh, and going back on my old meds has been fantastic! Yesterday I cleaned my whole apartment! I was actually sore today from all the stuff I did. So things are looking up!
-T
Posted by Kath on September 25, 2007, at 20:43:14
In reply to Here we go...., posted by TexasChic on September 20, 2007, at 20:06:55
Holy Smokes TC
(((((((((((((((((((((you))))))))))))))))))))
NOW I'll read the rest of the thread.
Kath
Posted by Kath on September 25, 2007, at 20:47:42
In reply to Re: Here we go.... » TexasChic, posted by MidnightBlue on September 23, 2007, at 0:03:17
Hi MB - so nice to 'see you'.
Good advice you had for TC. Does that surprise me? NOPE.
hugs, Kath
Posted by Kath on September 25, 2007, at 20:48:45
In reply to Re: Here we go.... » MidnightBlue, posted by TexasChic on September 24, 2007, at 19:11:41
Hi TC - so glad the interview went well.
Isn't this the same boss who you had trouble with before & after a talk things were better?
Or maybe that was another job; sorry can't remember.
I send biggie hugs, Kath
Posted by TexasChic on September 26, 2007, at 19:02:41
In reply to Re: Here we go.... » TexasChic, posted by Kath on September 25, 2007, at 20:48:45
Thanks Kath! Yeah, this is the same boss. Everything goes okay until I make a mistake. Then all hell breaks loose. Apparently I'm supposed to be perfect.
Today I was a nervous wreck all day. I took three .5mg of Xanax, and I usually never take more than .25mg when I'm at work, and no more than .5mg at home! But I was bordering on a full blown anxiety attack. My chest was hurting and everything.
Part of the cause is because I've gone back on my old meds. This initial getting adjusted phase usually exasperates my anxiety. I know from past experience it will go away eventually though. Other than that, the meds have been freaking fantastic! I can't seem to stop cleaning my apartment, and if you know me at all you know that's a major change!
The other contributing factor of the anxiety attack was certain things happening at work. Things have kind of smoothed over with my Supervisor, and for a good while I had somewhat befriended RudeGirl. But Monday something happened that set her (RudeGirl) off. This is stupid but: some months ago she was supposed to put a file on the server for me, but she only put part of what I needed. I told her what happened and asked her to please put the rest of it there for me. She was all put out and insisted she had put it there. I was supposed to send this file to a coworker (which is stupid in the first place as it was her creation and she could have sent it herself, but I digress). I told her regardless of what happened, I don't have it so would she please put it on the server for me. She ended up sending it to the coworker and not me so I was like, what f*cking ever and just dropped it.
So now we come to this past Monday and the same coworker asked me for the same document again. This girl is a friend and her position is between me and my boss. She's great at her job and a good person, but not very computer savvy. So I figured she had trashed it since the last time. So I once again asked RudeGirl to put it on the server for me. Once again she insisted she had given it to me. I just told her, well so-and-so needs it. RudeGirl says she's too busy. Finally the coworked said, "Forget it you two, I'll figure it out myself" (and she did finally locate it on her computer from the last time). Throughout this all I was polite and professional, but RudeGirl hasn't spoken to me since and gives me dirty looks when she sees me.
Now, finally we come to the reason for the anxiety attack. Well, first I guess I should explain that RudeGirl has had a part in almost all the problems I've had with my boss. She knows just how to push my boss's buttons, and for some reason she is always ready to believe the worst about me (even though I've proved time and time again otherwise). RudeGirl gets her all riled up, and by the time she pulls me aside to gripe me out her mind is already made up. She never asks for my side and always already has it figured out what I'm going to do to make sure whatever it was doesn't happen again. I have tried in the past to explain the truth to her, but she doesn't want to hear it and will just interrupt and negate everything I say. So naturally I have given up and just don't even bother to argue. I do have to point out though, that she has made a noticeable effort to treat me differently in the past several months and it was going very well. But last week she fell back into her old routine (which I have since found out RudeGirl had a part in).
Okay, so NOW we get to the reason for the anxiety attack. RudeGirl is responsible for sending the pictures to me for a certain project. Through an entirely understandable mistake (and I say this after confirming it with some other coworkers) I mistakenly deleted 3 photos. So now I have to ask RudeGirl to put them on the server for me again. You can see where this is headed. It would take her all of 30 seconds to do this for me, but she will throw a fit and more likely than not go to my boss and complain that I'm always throwing things away or something like that. And being as my Boss just got through being all mad at me last week, I just don't see how this can end well. The only thing I can think of is to go to my boss first and tell her the situation. If she gets mad she gets mad, but at least I will be in control of what she hears first. Depending on her initial reaction, I'm going to tell her how much this situation has upset me and ask for her support in this situation. She has told me before I need to stand up to RudeGirl, so I'm going to try and go that route. Of course, its entirely possible that nothing much will actually happen! I doubt it, but it is possible. I'm hoping that if I am asking for my bosses support to stand up to this bully that just maybe it will be okay either way.
So that's my absurdly long story. If you've read this far, DON'T YOU HAVE A LIFE???? Sorry, just a little joke there. You know I love you guys. Especially if you read my lon-n-n-n-ng posts.
-T
Posted by ClearSkies on September 27, 2007, at 15:29:48
In reply to Having a bad week so this is absurdly long, posted by TexasChic on September 26, 2007, at 19:02:41
RudeGirl sounds really rude!! I'd be tempted to go to the boss to get the files back on the server, but loathe to be reprimanded for not standing up to the girl. What to do??
I guess - ask RudeGirl politely to put the files back on the server. Don't tell her the whole story; just that you need them put back there again. If she kicks up a fuss, then, right there and then, take her with you to see the boss, and go for a threesome to get it done. I betcha that RudeGirl backs right down and does it without further fuss.
Work would be so much fun if it wasn't for the people, you know??
Tell us what transpires.
ClearSkies
Posted by TexasChic on September 27, 2007, at 18:36:53
In reply to Re: Having a bad week so this is absurdly long » TexasChic, posted by ClearSkies on September 27, 2007, at 15:29:48
RudeGirl was still in a very bad mood today, so I decided to wait as far as asking for the files. I had woken up in a great mood having decided somewhere in my subconscious that I was not going to let people's craziness effect my well being. I mean, I have had more than my fair share of this crap in the past, so I just had to let it go.
So I'm just sitting there doing my job (she hadn't spoken to me all day) when around 3:00 she comes to me and asks if I will go out with her for a cigarette. So I'm like all worried it was about me. But come to find out, she had just had her review, was very upset, and needed someone to vent to!
Okay, that still isn't even the craziest part. So she tells me her supervisor was getting on to her about the way she acts with her rudeness and all. Somewhere along the way, she figured out that a fellow coworker had to have been the one to tell her superviser all this (which is actually true). RudeGirl said this person has been going to the boss and telling her all these things she has done, and skewing everything to make it sound bad when it really wasn't... Hey, why does this sound familiar? Wait a minute... THIS IS WHAT RudeGirl HAS DONE TO ME FROM DAY ONE!!!!!!!
As if this wasn't enough, she also tells me this person always brags to her about everything she does, like working until 9PM at night. She asks me, "What possible reason could she have to be telling me these things?!?!" I said, "Well, sometimes people have to build themselves up by talking about their accomplishments a lot." She's like, "Do you really think that's it?" I said, "Well, maybe." She then says, "Its just so frustrating to work you butt off everyday only to be brought down by one person". Seriously, can you freaking believe that??????
So, I'm sure you're wondering if I was able to keep a straight face. Or not blurt out the glaringly obvious similarities. Or not run and tell EVERYONE about this knowing they would find it hilarious. Well, I didn't do any of those things. I admit I was tempted though. The hardest part was not telling someone else. Especially since not 5 minutes before I had been talking to a coworker about how RudeGirl was a bully and seemed intent on sabotaging my job (these were my coworker's words not mine, many people have come to me to tell me they don't like how she treats me and that its harassment). But I decided that even though I know she would never show me the same courtesy, I would not tell what I told her I would keep to myself. However, I did decide I would spill it all on babble as soon as I got home!!!
-T
Posted by TexasChic on September 27, 2007, at 18:58:10
In reply to Re: Having a bad week so this is absurdly long » TexasChic, posted by ClearSkies on September 27, 2007, at 15:29:48
Thanks CS. Now that she has confided to me, I think everything will be okay about the files.
One thing I forgot to include above was that when I was talking to the coworker, I told her my viewpoint about karma, positive energy, and how negative actions always seem to come back to people. That's one thing that made it so hard not to tell her!!! It was like... oh, and here's an example of that.
-T
Posted by Kath on October 1, 2007, at 19:55:15
In reply to Re: Having a bad week so this is absurdly long » ClearSkies, posted by TexasChic on September 27, 2007, at 18:58:10
Jeez TC - I admire if you STILL didn't spill the beans!
I find it hard not to gossip sometimes. It's really admirable NOT to though. Especially if one wants to.
I do hope that the Rude Girl confiding in you shifted things. Maybe the fact that you were supportive to her will help in the future. I sure hope so.
I did like your idea of going to your boss first. If something like this happens in the future, I think that would be a good plan.
I also like your sense of humour saying "if you're still reading this GET A LIFE" LOLOLOL
(((((((((((((((((((((you))))))))))))))))))))))
love, Kath
This is the end of the thread.
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