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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 6 of 6. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Jay on November 1, 2006, at 7:23:39
Well, what do ya know!? This person who I had gone out on a few dates with all-of-a-sudden tells me to not call her until next week. Compared to, she used to at least send me an email note, however brief, every day. She used to call me every second day or so because she said she wanted too.(I made no suggestion to do so.) Even if just a brief little chat. And believe me, we have had tons to talk about. Now, she won't even answer a little email. I told her to call me when she wants to. She lives one block over from me. If she was *really* interested in me, couldn't she just ask me out for coffee one night of the week or something like that?
I checked the past few nights, and she has been spending most of her time chatting with others on MSN and internet boards.That is fine...but if you want to make something happen, to start a relationship, or build it, you'd think a little effort to sacrifice say 15mins-30mins out of the week isn't asking too much.But, most of all, I am proud of myself, because, I've kept my cool. Next week, she wants me to take her to some movie she wants to see, but I am having second thoughts. Maybe I WILL be the one who needs.."My time..". It would be fitting. As the song says ..."I'll be around, if you don't push me away too far..".
So, to comfort myself, my sweet loving Niece suggested I go and treat myself to something. So I went and bought a couple of "U2" DVD's I've wanted, and rented some Trailer Park Boy's episodes.
Oh ya, one last thing. She is a social worker like myself. I admitted my past *losses* (which I've explained on here before...and I don't really want to go there right now..) in an email, as she had told me that her Mom died just a few years ago. I got no response via email, or better yet, telephone...nothing. She didn't say.."well..let's meet for tea and talk.". Sorry, I don't mean to sound like I am awash in self-pity, but I lost the most precious people one can lose.
But....you folks on here have been some of the most supportive people for me in the "tough" times, and I never forget that. So....that's how it is...I guess.Now once again, I don't need another person to "confirm" this...but I am a happy, good, loving guy. (OK...I am working on the happiness, but aren't we all ;-)
Jay
Posted by Phillipa on November 1, 2006, at 10:00:25
In reply to Losing it..how it is...some other thoughts???, posted by Jay on November 1, 2006, at 7:23:39
The answer to your question is Yes. Love Phillipa
Posted by ClearSkies on November 1, 2006, at 15:44:08
In reply to Losing it..how it is...some other thoughts???, posted by Jay on November 1, 2006, at 7:23:39
Jay, I hope that you can put this experience behind you. I also hope that you can find it within yourself to stop looking for your life partner. You have so much love to give, so many life lessons to share, so much loss and pain that still needs mending. You have likely heard this over and over: "learn to love yourself before you ask anyone else to love you". This is true - and the love you feel for yourself will be unconditional. Then you will be open to love from others.
When we present ourselves as less than, or incomplete without, then we challenge those we befriend. Can you complete me? Can you make me more whole? If someone asked that of me, I would not be able to accept. I barely think enough of myself to bathe every day, for goodness' sake.
What I read, what I hear in my head when I read your posts, is that you want nothing more than to share your life and your love with someone else. The challenge, I believe, is in asking of ourselves to be enough. When we no longer crave, or long for, the passionate love of another person, they present themselves to us. I believe that when you can say that you are ok, fine, happy, satisfied... as Just Jay, then others around you will know this too. And it is very attractive to find someone who is happy just being themselves.
I do care about you Jay. I have read your posts for a long time now, and I only wish you the most happiness and the very best for yourself.
CS
Posted by rainbutterfly on November 5, 2006, at 0:54:06
In reply to Losing it..how it is...some other thoughts???, posted by Jay on November 1, 2006, at 7:23:39
Weird = her :-(
Good job = you :-)
Basic but true,
an in exile, (and nuts)
butterfly
Posted by rainbutterfly on November 5, 2006, at 1:11:16
In reply to Re: Losing it..how it is...some other thoughts??? » Jay, posted by rainbutterfly on November 5, 2006, at 0:54:06
Posted by Kath on November 10, 2006, at 15:43:22
In reply to Losing it..how it is...some other thoughts???, posted by Jay on November 1, 2006, at 7:23:39
Oh Jay
I'm sorry - I put a post to you on a previous 'thread' before I saw this.
WELL. You sound like you're taking this from a place of strength. I'm sorry this has happened. I haven't 'dated' for about 14 years. Do people these days be open & actually TALK about things?
I hope you're able to bring some of the things you've mentioned in this post - up with her in your conversations with her.
I think it would be great if we humans could be OPEN in our relationships with each other. Why is it so hard? Even with my husband there are things that I have to 'work myself up to' talking about. And yeah, there are probably things I DON'T bring up! sigh.
I hope you ask her what's up. Her behaviour to you has changed & I think you deserve to know why.
I send you hugs, Kath
This is the end of the thread.
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