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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 5 of 5. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by James K on May 2, 2006, at 1:32:19
I've been away until recently in a couple of facilities. I want to thank a couple of people who asked about me and supported me while I've been away. Uhh, you know who you are (I don't want to forget or miss someone).
I'd said I would have updates posted while I was away, but I changed my mind when I realized I had become subject of controversy in my abscence. No problem, I understand. It looks like it ended up more theoretical than personal by the end. I wasn't sure if I would ever come back here, because this site is associated with 3 or 4 of the more insane months in my life, but I decided people here gave me a lot of support, so this is a good part of that time as well.Lets see, Going cold turkey off of alcohol, klonopin, and ambien while restarting welbutrin and lamictal made for an interesting first 2 weeks of the experience. I'm tough though. I met some good people, am thinking more clearly (not enough), had my cognitive functionality confirmed, and got some insight into some thought patterns.
Unfortunately, some insurance hack of a doctor in some other state decided I was not a danger to myself or others and thus had to go back to the situation that led me to the hospital. This was a couple of days after I smashed a chair, broke some wrought iron off of the bars, and played around with the concept of breaking my arm. That's okay, I know his name.
I learned that I tend to put myself into no win situations - such as - someone offends me, I feel I must retaliate, I know retaliation will cause consequences, I know if I don't retaliate I will hate myself and obsess to the point of danger - so what do I do? retaliate and ruin my life, or hate myself for weakness. I guess the answer is just don't. They made me leave before we got to the solutions part. Actually that dilemma is a metaphor for how I live my life, from ordering at a restuarant to dealing with my parents. I learned other good stuff about myself as well. no sarcasm intended.
I now have to decide to continue on my own, and do the right things and not fall back into hate and cynicism, depression and alcoholism, take my meds, find a psychiatrist and therapist and a job. I don't know if it is all a decision or what, in fact I'm a little sad and confused about what is next. I have some medical tests and appointments to keep me busy for the next several days, then what?
Anyway, it is great to be home and sleep in my own bed and see my wife and cats. It's good to check in on everybody here as well. I'm going to post less often than before, but still check in.
love to all,
James K
Posted by deirdrehbrt on May 2, 2006, at 14:10:23
In reply to Hey, I'm home. long story, posted by James K on May 2, 2006, at 1:32:19
James,
I'm glad you're home, and I sincerely hope that things have turned around for you. It's so tough to be held hostage to the whims of fate and chemically induced random extremes. I hope that with your meds somewhat straightened out that things get better under control for you.
BB, Dee
Posted by Phillipa on May 2, 2006, at 14:18:57
In reply to Re: Hey, I'm home. long story, posted by deirdrehbrt on May 2, 2006, at 14:10:23
Long story or not glad your back and hopefully feeling better. Love Plillipa
Posted by gardenergirl on May 2, 2006, at 15:15:28
In reply to Re: Hey, I'm home. long story, posted by Phillipa on May 2, 2006, at 14:18:57
Nice to see you, JamesK. Sounds like you've been through a lot recently. I hope that as you move forward, that the questions you have about what now? find answers.
Take care,
gg
Posted by sleepygirl on May 2, 2006, at 22:48:06
In reply to Hey, I'm home. long story, posted by James K on May 2, 2006, at 1:32:19
welcome back!
I'm thinking....one day at a time I guess is all one can handle...(I myself will take it one minute at a time ;-)
all the best,
sg
This is the end of the thread.
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