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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 6 of 6. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by rjlockhart on January 10, 2006, at 22:05:49
I jsut had a confrunation with my brother. He is a lawyer. He told me feelings dont matter, it is what you do that matters.
I have posted so much on what i have gone through, and i feel its at a point of not even talking about anymore.
The feeling of people ignoring what you put as your troubles hurts.
Does anyone else feel this way?
Posted by yxibow on January 10, 2006, at 22:05:49
In reply to Do people get tired of hearing your problems?, posted by rjlockhart on January 9, 2006, at 23:30:40
> I jsut had a confrunation with my brother. He is a lawyer. He told me feelings dont matter, it is what you do that matters.
That's a hard one to parse. Actions matter in life, even if you have feelings -- even if you feel awful, one can't take it out by slapping someone or something. But it sounds like you didn't really have a good talk with your brother because your feelings are a part of your self and definately do matter.
>
> I have posted so much on what i have gone through, and i feel its at a point of not even talking about anymore.Why? That's what everyone is here for, to talk things through, both here on the medical side and on the other sections of the board. Don't ever give up. Life is for living. That may be a simplistic phrase, but its true. And part of life is not always feeling good. But when you find something that really stimulates you, and engages you, that's when you have a hold on life. No pit of despair can't be climbed out of and put the pieces back together.
>
> The feeling of people ignoring what you put as your troubles hurts.
>
It does hurt. A lot of people don't understand psychiatric problems. They think its something that a rich person on a sofa talks about. Or you're just "crazy." Or lazy or all sorts of epithets because depression can really sink in.
But that's what people like us are here for, to listen to your troubles, and to try to put some pointers on getting your life in shape. And that's what your doctor is for or should be for.Mental illness has a stigma still even today; it is not covered nearly enough under most insurance, when in fact it is the cost of millions if not billions of dollars of lost time in business because people don't get themselves treated for what is a chemical imbalance. If it were ever classified as a medical illness to the same extent that diabetes is one or whatever, it would be put on the same level as that. And it should, but that is just my opinion.
> Does anyone else feel this way?
I think you're just going through a downswing period at the moment, Matt. Babblemail some of your friends on here, I dont think anyone would grow tired. As they say, there is always someone with something worse.
To good feelings. Tidings.
- J
Posted by blueberry on January 10, 2006, at 22:05:49
In reply to Do people get tired of hearing your problems?, posted by rjlockhart on January 9, 2006, at 23:30:40
Yeah, I have a hard time talking to anyone about my psychiatric probs because I can see in their eyes and their body movements that they are very uneasy, uncomfortable, and skeptical. But after 10 years of doctor care, 12 months of psychotherapy, and relentless effort on my part in terms of exercise, bright light, diet changes, attitude, etc, they are all appearing now to believe that something is indeed wrong with blueberry that is not normal.
It has taken a long time, but family members now are more concerned about me, asking how I feel, asking what the doctors are doing, asking me to describe what it feels like. And instead of lecturing me they actually just listen with apparent sincere interest. But I still avoid talking about it as much as possible, because there is still always a slight sense of unease in the atmosphere when I do.
Posted by Glydin on January 10, 2006, at 22:05:49
In reply to Do people get tired of hearing your problems?, posted by rjlockhart on January 9, 2006, at 23:30:40
I think the short answer to your subject line question is: Yes. I have certainly found that true for me. I think the reasons for that are complex and the way I put it is: folks get frustrated hearing about others folk’s problems. Most people, when presented with a problem, want to fix it or find a solution. The well-meaning “understandable” folks in my life get frustrated because they can’t fix it and it can be so difficult to watch someone struggle and be completely helpless to offer anything of help. The not so well meaning, not understandable folks in my life want to see me just get over it.
Also, there is the added thought if family or friends think they see noncompliance in treatment by the one struggling and that’s another frustration factor.
I think at the core of both responses - well meaning or not - is frustration.
A lot of us have the perspective of having dealt with family or friends with mental heath problems and being suffers ourselves. Even as a suffer, it was difficult for me to listen when a loved one was in an unstable, bad state. I don’t think the well meaning caring folks of our lives intend for us to have more distress – they simply don’t know what else they can possibly do and therefore, they can start to draw back which may make us feel as if we are being ignored or our problems belittled.
Just my opinion……
Posted by ed_uk on January 10, 2006, at 22:05:49
In reply to Do people get tired of hearing your problems?, posted by rjlockhart on January 9, 2006, at 23:30:40
Hi Matt
>He told me feelings dont matter, it is what you do that matters.
Both matter. I guess your brother isn't the best person to talk to about your problems.
Do you see a therapist in addition to your pdoc?
Ed
Posted by Phillipa on January 10, 2006, at 22:05:49
In reply to Re: Do people get tired of hearing your problems? » rjlockhart, posted by ed_uk on January 10, 2006, at 13:52:40
Matt we need to talk. Fondly, Phillipa
This is the end of the thread.
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