Posted by Glydin on January 10, 2006, at 9:36:59 [reposted on January 10, 2006, at 22:05:49 | original URL]
In reply to Do people get tired of hearing your problems?, posted by rjlockhart on January 9, 2006, at 23:30:40
I think the short answer to your subject line question is: Yes. I have certainly found that true for me. I think the reasons for that are complex and the way I put it is: folks get frustrated hearing about others folk’s problems. Most people, when presented with a problem, want to fix it or find a solution. The well-meaning “understandable” folks in my life get frustrated because they can’t fix it and it can be so difficult to watch someone struggle and be completely helpless to offer anything of help. The not so well meaning, not understandable folks in my life want to see me just get over it.
Also, there is the added thought if family or friends think they see noncompliance in treatment by the one struggling and that’s another frustration factor.
I think at the core of both responses - well meaning or not - is frustration.
A lot of us have the perspective of having dealt with family or friends with mental heath problems and being suffers ourselves. Even as a suffer, it was difficult for me to listen when a loved one was in an unstable, bad state. I don’t think the well meaning caring folks of our lives intend for us to have more distress – they simply don’t know what else they can possibly do and therefore, they can start to draw back which may make us feel as if we are being ignored or our problems belittled.
Just my opinion……
poster:Glydin
thread:597773
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20060108/msgs/597776.html