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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 24 to 48 of 75. Go back in thread:
Posted by Tamar on April 13, 2005, at 11:04:34
In reply to Re: Sex and Him, posted by caraher on April 13, 2005, at 10:08:10
> Hmmm... I was wondering if there were some male equivalent. I've certainly heard of the prostrate gland but the only thing I've heard about doing anything manually with it involves doctors and rubber gloves, and precious little pleasure.Yeah, and there's not much pleasure when women go to doctor either, but that's because of the circumstances.
The prostate can be as difficult to access as the G-spot in women, and it can help to use one of the devices that Larry mentioned earlier. But it's essential to exercise caution because unless the device is specifically designed for anal use it could get lost in there, which would entail an embarrassing trip to a doctor!
Posted by Damos on April 13, 2005, at 17:11:54
In reply to TWELVE YEARS??? TWELVE YEARS????? » Damos, posted by Susan47 on April 12, 2005, at 21:47:39
HOORAY!! YIPPEE!! I've finally managed to make a beautiful woman breathless....he,he. =0)
BTW, thanks for the capitalisation Suze, once I'd finished sweeping up what was left of my shattered ego I LMAO and girl you shoulda seen all the heads pop up above the partitions in the internet cafe, it was like a scene from Caddyshack.
Posted by Damos on April 13, 2005, at 17:14:45
In reply to Susan GET ON THAT PLANE QUICK!!! (nm) » Susan47, posted by anastasia56 on April 13, 2005, at 0:05:13
Oh Ana, surely you wouldn't wish that much dissapointment on poor Susan
Posted by Susan47 on April 13, 2005, at 20:18:11
In reply to Re: Susan GET ON THAT PLANE QUICK!!! » anastasia56, posted by Damos on April 13, 2005, at 17:14:45
Well it can work both ways, Damos. It can work both ways.
You know it's a nice feeling to think that someone laughed like that at something I said. Very nice. And so far away, too. :-)
Posted by damos on April 13, 2005, at 22:02:01
In reply to Re: Susan GET ON THAT PLANE QUICK!!!, posted by Susan47 on April 13, 2005, at 20:18:11
> Well it can work both ways, Damos. It can work both ways.
I don't think you could ever disappoint me no matter how hard you tried. Oh, and I reckon to handle someone with your beauty, spirit and enthusiasm I'd need to hire a mighty studdly stunt double :-)
> You know it's a nice feeling to think that someone laughed like that at something I said. Very nice. And so far away, too. :-)
And boy did I need it. Without my precious Kiwi friend it's very sad, empty and lonely down here.
Okay you want another laugh? Take 12 from 41 (my age later this year), done it? Okay, now take away from that the years till the first time - 23. doesn't leave much does it? I think I may actually have achieved sexual invisibility.
Posted by Susan47 on April 14, 2005, at 0:18:45
In reply to Re: Susan GET ON THAT PLANE QUICK!!! » Susan47, posted by damos on April 13, 2005, at 22:02:01
I'm speechless. It puts all my sex-less times into more perspective. What on earth do you do for human closeness? I mean, touch, you know?
Posted by 10derHeart on April 14, 2005, at 13:01:54
In reply to TWELVE YEARS??? TWELVE YEARS????? » Damos, posted by Susan47 on April 12, 2005, at 21:47:39
Alright, Susan dear, you asked for it...sit down now...can't match Damos, I guess, but it'll be 10 years for me this December
And, if I wanted to get more detailed, if I counted from when it was an entirely meaningful experience, in every way possible, the way I believe God intended, well, that would either be never ( :-( ) or at least 21 years ago....
(paper bags to breath into are good for hyperventilating ;-))
PS -and I'm okay with it, 'cause some things are definitely worth waiting for...
Posted by Susan47 on April 14, 2005, at 13:23:34
In reply to Re: TWELVE YEARS??? TWELVE YEARS????? » Susan47, posted by 10derHeart on April 14, 2005, at 13:01:54
Sweetheart you grabbed me where I live when you say meaningful in every way possible, "the way God intended" ... I've tried .. I have, but I always got it all wrong, there was something always missing, not where it should have been. I know what to look for now, though, and it was always here, inside myself, waiting for discovery. Trouble is it's not always there, and no one from outside me to reinforce it. That's what a lover is good for. That's what a lover is necessary for. I need a lover.
Posted by Susan47 on April 14, 2005, at 13:25:03
In reply to Re: TWELVE YEARS??? TWELVE YEARS????? » Susan47, posted by 10derHeart on April 14, 2005, at 13:01:54
I can be a lover too, now, for the first time since I was eighteen. I remember I was eighteen when my heart was fresh last. It didn't last very long, though. Two months, I think. And it was absolutely incredible.
Posted by Damos on April 14, 2005, at 18:04:07
In reply to Re: Susan GET ON THAT PLANE QUICK!!!, posted by Susan47 on April 14, 2005, at 0:18:45
Hmmm. the honest answer to that would be nothing. Last time I had any physical contact with another person would have been Christmas when a friend left to go overseas and she hugged me goodbye as a kinda thank-you for helpoing her out with some stuff. Hate to admit it but is felt really awkward.
Believe it or not I was once told that I give a mean foot massage.
Okay, touch and physical are a MASSIVE issue for me and I'd simply rather not have either if it means not making other people feel awkward or not attractive or just plain letting them down and hurting them. Okay, it's out there now. Sh*t where did all these admission come from
Posted by Damos on April 14, 2005, at 18:09:07
In reply to Re: TWELVE YEARS??? TWELVE YEARS????? » Susan47, posted by 10derHeart on April 14, 2005, at 13:01:54
Oh 10derHeart what a perfect pair we are. I was obviously channeling through you when you posted this. They are my words and experience exactly.
Hope your waiting ends soon and it everything you hope for.
Lots a love.
Posted by Damos on April 14, 2005, at 18:50:19
In reply to Re: Susan GET ON THAT PLANE QUICK!!!, posted by Susan47 on April 14, 2005, at 0:18:45
Okay, okay, okay. I can't bear the feeling of desolation, aloneness and hollow emptiness that always accompanied it either. Boy, the truth really sux.
Posted by Susan47 on April 14, 2005, at 21:17:33
In reply to Re: Susan GET ON THAT PLANE QUICK!!! » Susan47, posted by Damos on April 14, 2005, at 18:50:19
So when you had sex, then, you had bad feelings with it? Because that's what it sounds like, and like you thought you were hurting somebody's feelings or you weren't making someone feel good enough or something.
Posted by damos on April 14, 2005, at 22:06:24
In reply to Re: Susan GET ON THAT PLANE QUICK!!!, posted by Susan47 on April 14, 2005, at 21:17:33
How did I wind up revealing all this, I can't believe it. Susan I wish I knew how to explain it, just not sure I can.
On one level there is the fact that I have no concept/understanding/whatever of the physical expression of emotion. Never ever saw my parents hug or kiss and can't remember ever being hugged or kissed by them. Come to think of it, a wacking was about it in terms of physical contact - I'm not talking abuse type wacking though, just your normal naughty kid stuff. Sh*t I can't even remember them expressing affection verbally. I'm getting better I don't actually cringe and pull away now if someone touches me, so that's gotta be good - doesn't it? G*d, I can even remember a girl asking me if I was ever gonna make a 'pass' at her. Sh*t. Never done it to this day, they've always had to start anything.
On another level there's the whole sex thing. Struth Susan I should be paying you a fortune for this. All I can tell you is that there has always been this crushing absence of something I know should be there, desperately want it to be there to share it with this other person, but never has been and it hurts like hell. I have only ever been with 4 women and have loved each of them so very dearly. But there has always been this presence, a presence of something absent if that makes sense. And it's me, I'm not there, I'm missing something important and essential and I really try I do, with every fibre of my being - so I push them away because they deserve better than that or they drift away cause I'm so tied in nots and too much like hard work. And I honestly don't know why I'm telling you this cause I'm shakin' like a leaf and my heart's in my mouth and I can't breathe. Whooooooo. In and of itself it's not that important to me, but that something that it can be a beautiful part of and expression of is, and I'd give anything to know that feeling just once. Enough, enough, enough for now.
Posted by Susan47 on April 15, 2005, at 10:32:31
In reply to Re: Susan GET ON THAT PLANE QUICK!!! » Susan47, posted by damos on April 14, 2005, at 22:06:24
My god you are a healthy, loving survivor ... you are so incredibly whole, Damos, inside yourself everything you've survived .. you're incredible. No wonder you're always crying these days .. the dam is finally breaking.. you're getting there, sweetheart .. oh, Damos. Here, a teeny little one until the real thing is acceptable (Damos).
Posted by Susan47 on April 15, 2005, at 10:35:51
In reply to Re: Susan GET ON THAT PLANE QUICK!!! » Susan47, posted by damos on April 14, 2005, at 22:06:24
sex isn't that important to you but as part of something that's whole and beautiful and wonderful to share, that is important .. so the lusting part of sex, the breasts and the soft/hardness and the curves/indentations, the skin and the hair, the smells and moistures .. that isn't important to you? Or you haven't allowed yourself to fully involve ...?
Posted by Susan47 on April 15, 2005, at 13:07:38
In reply to In and of Itself.. Damos, posted by Susan47 on April 15, 2005, at 10:35:51
I better slow down I'm going too fast here 'cause you know what I'm going to bring up next. So I'm not going to. You know. Because it hits a very deep emotional spot in your soul. And it's about you feeling inadequate. Because you know you were inadequately raised. I know this is getting too much for you right now, isn't it? I'll take a break, okay? Bye. And just to remind myself, and remain ubiquitous ...
Posted by Susan47 on April 15, 2005, at 13:27:52
In reply to Re: In and of Itself.. Damos, posted by Susan47 on April 15, 2005, at 13:07:38
Being fully human means being full of contradictions. Because that's the real experience. Yup. Sunny, you hear that? Full, FULL, of contradiction. That's me and I know it.. is that anybody else or am I the only one? I hate it.
Posted by damos on April 15, 2005, at 21:07:09
In reply to Re: In and of Itself.. Damos, posted by Susan47 on April 15, 2005, at 13:07:38
BINGO!!!!!!!!!!
That hit me like a 30 storey building collapsing me late yesterday after the previous post. You know, when something is it but it's not. Lots more to be said, but right now love you Susan and thank you are all that seem important. Oh yeh, I do like all of those things mentioned in your previous post - as I said, lots more to say.
Posted by Susan47 on April 16, 2005, at 15:45:26
In reply to Re: In and of Itself.. Damos » Susan47, posted by damos on April 15, 2005, at 21:07:09
When're you going to say it? I'm really wanting to know everything you're talking about.
Posted by Damos on April 16, 2005, at 21:34:32
In reply to Re: In and of Itself.. Damos, posted by Susan47 on April 16, 2005, at 15:45:26
The next exciting episode. Where to begin????
Inadequate is part of it but not all of it. Incomplete is how I feel too. Like I missed out on the bit that helps us bond properly. Like I was fitted with the wrong kind of connectors at birth. Like an appliance with the wrong kind of plug. In that moment when I'm completely vulnerable and all the defences are down and that should be so beautiful, I'm always terrified and sure that they will see the dark misshapen, deformed thing that is really me. And no-one deserves to be with that no-one. And no-one could want to be - surely. I so want for them to be happy, but know that I have no dea how to be that or help them be that, and so will only end up draggging them down and hurting them. So I push them away, or crawl back under my rock so they just leave. Hold on tight, let go light that's my motto. I make going easy for them. Well it is my fault afterall.
A brief change of tack. You what I find incredibly attractive???? The nape of the neck. Sorry, just felt I still wasn't getting at the real problem. You know I only ever wanted three things in life.
To be a good husband.
He swings and missess - STEEEERike 1To be a good father.
He swings and misses - STEEEEERike 2To be a good friend
He swings and misses - STEEEEEErike 3 YUURRROUTI have been well trained over a very long time to know that the only thing I do well is F things up and that the only outcome of anything I do is failure. Hmmmm, feel like we're getting warmer now. So often I watch myself carefully crafting another failure and just let it happen. You know what's even funnier - others just don't see it.
Oh yeah did I mention that I don't read/understand/respond appropriately to if at all - emotions.
I know with absolute certainty that I am worthless, useless piece of crap. Simple. I think that's enough for one session. Thank you Dr Susan.
Posted by Damos on April 16, 2005, at 21:39:17
In reply to Re: Susan GET ON THAT PLANE QUICK!!!, posted by Susan47 on April 14, 2005, at 21:17:33
Fogot to mention. Big mistake last night. Watched a movie set in NZ. Soon as I heard the young girls voice that was the end of me. Then they referred to Camus and had Mazzy Star in the soundtrack. Sh*t.
Posted by Susan47 on April 17, 2005, at 13:23:02
In reply to Re: In and of Itself.. Damos » Susan47, posted by Damos on April 16, 2005, at 21:34:32
Quick.. I haven't finished reading this post but telling you this, the fact that you feel like something's mis-wired shows that you're not. It's all come from outside yourself, it's alien to your true nature, what you experienced in childhood, because it really ISN't you, is why you feel the disharmony now. That's such a great thing!!!!
Posted by Susan47 on April 17, 2005, at 13:32:03
In reply to Re: In and of Itself.. Damos » Susan47, posted by Damos on April 16, 2005, at 21:34:32
Holy cow, my country bumpkin way of saying, my god Damos you really aren't there for yourself at all. It's incredible you're here, we're lucky that you still are, aren't we? Because you've been so kind to so many here, and your heart is so big, it's hard to see you the way you describe yourself. I have to really streeeetch my imagination, you know?
It's like there's two of you. One you reserve for the real world, that's everybody else, and one you reserve for yourself, the one that's convinced you're horrible and awful, monstrous ... we ALL behave badly, Damos. I'm a selfish bitch and people have even said that to me. Here even, some people don't tolerate me. So am I supposed to hate myself for that?
Like you apparently do yourself?
Because if you feel that way about yourself, Damos, how do you REALLY feel about everyone else?
If you see so much that's apparently worthy in other people, why can't you see that it's also you? Do you think a psychopath ever EVER feels like there's something missing inside him or her? No. I doubt that very much. It's why the Clifford Olsons and the Ted Bundys of this world were so charismatic. They had all the self-confidence and love for themselves that they ever needed. Oh, Olson's still alive.
Posted by Damos on April 17, 2005, at 18:02:37
In reply to Re: In and of Itself.. Damos, posted by Susan47 on April 17, 2005, at 13:32:03
Time for a laugh.
I remember a psychiatrist telling me once I was 'supernormal' in response to a bunch of tests I'd done - of course he totally failed to explain what on Earth that meant.
There was someone else who after looking at some other tests said it was amazing to her that I could get up in the morning I was full of contradictions and conflicts.
Michelle (Katie's Mum) rang me about 12mths ago to say that I should see the Ted Bundy movie because there was a scene in it where she and her son looked at each other and said "That's Faulkner" (me). Now that was scary!!!!
The only reason I'm still here is because I forgot to feed my parent dog once-upon-a-time. Let's just say I was getting acquainted with a shot gun and she wouldn't stop scratching at the door. Suddenly I realised I hadn't fed her and so went and did it and somehow it was enough to break the spell. Been a couple of other nearlies but something always stops me.
Some people thing I'm as cold and hard as stone. They just don't see what goes on beneath - the depths of the turmoil. The way I just take anything that is beyond my ability to deal with and lock it down deep inside until I can, which is usually never.
It's easier to be what other people want and need me to be than it is to be me. I was also well taught that every thing and everyone came before me.
Something else. I can't deal with recognition, praise, the sopt light, success and stuff and so deliberately seek to be invisible. I've never got near my full potential in anything because I couldn't deal with the attention being really good brings. Hate it. Don't actually think I've ever done something just for myself, well except buy books and CDs. Don't know how.
Enough for now. Can't believe Alex is missing all this.
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