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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by partlycloudy on October 31, 2004, at 6:07:49
This is just a little diary I guess to keep me reminded of how i'm doing on leave of absence from work.
overall, my mood swings have dimished but are just as severe when they happen. Crying or screaming, they feel the same, like it's not me who is doing this, but the illness. I don't feel like a loser - my biggest success to date! - i just feel ill.
new hormone treaatment is making me feel much better. fewer hot flashes, no migraines so far, fingers and toes are crossed that this one is going to work long term for me.
p-doc thinks i may need a change in AD if the mood swings don't resolve. i've only tried one mood stabilizer (zyprexa) and had a dreadful reaction to it. i don't mind "waiting and seeing" as this is why i'm on leave - to sort this stuff out without having the entire office dragged along for the ride.i've had so much more support from my coworkers than i would ever thought possible: one lovely phone call, two beautiful cards with sincere offers to help me; i am so lucky to have these fine people in my life.
i have had way too many items on my internal "to do" lists. Last week it took me 4 days to make a batch of brownies, compelte with 2 bouts of hysteria and a panic attack while buying the ingredients. i have pared down my expectations for now and am taking it easier on myself. one accomplishment a day is enough for now. today it will be trying a recipe for marinated mushrooms. (i have the ingredients assembled.)
i am discovering how much better i feel when i get to listen to music i love. it strips away ALL symptoms of depression and anxiety, and lets my soul soar. i keep the mental image of the looney tunes cartoon of bugs bunny playing the violin to soothe the tasmanian devil. that's me, alright. last week we saw David Byrne in concert and i sang along with the rest of the audience all evening long. it was a lovely patch of freedom. funny enough, sitting around the house, i cannot pick what music i want to hear. it seems like too much of a big deal, even though i know i just have to change the cd on the stereo if i no longer want to listen. that seems like way too much effort. have been listening to internet radio quite a bit, which helps.
ok, that's my report for now. thanks for giving me a place to put it.
pc
Posted by boomarang on October 31, 2004, at 9:46:41
In reply to After being on sick leave for a week, posted by partlycloudy on October 31, 2004, at 6:07:49
i am so proud of you! i just get a good feeling about the things you are doing...music, mushrooms, brownies. One per day is a good idea then you can really focus without having to worry about 3 other projects. Yea! Keep it up!
p.s. i'll be over for some brownies latersara
Posted by Fi on October 31, 2004, at 15:41:33
In reply to After being on sick leave for a week, posted by partlycloudy on October 31, 2004, at 6:07:49
I know it can be a long haul, and a bit unnerving loosing your normal routine.
Good that your co-workers are supportive, and that music helps. I got into watching the 'Jungle Book' video every day when I had one bought! A bit incongrous, but whatever helps..
Sounds like you are doing a great job of keeping going, and not panicking about the panic, and having lower goals. Well done on the brownies!
Using the board as somewhere to record things sounds useful move. Also means that other folks out here are wishing you well!
Fi
Posted by Dr. Bob on October 31, 2004, at 23:02:05
In reply to Re: on sick leave for a week; good luck!, posted by Fi on October 31, 2004, at 15:41:33
> I got into watching the 'Jungle Book' video every day when I had one bought! A bit incongrous, but whatever helps..
I'd just like to plug the double double quotes feature at this site:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#amazon
The first time anyone refers to a book, movie, or music without using this option, I post this to try to make sure he or she at least knows about it. It's just an option, though, and doesn't *have* to be used. If people *choose* not to use it, I'd be interested why not, but I'd like that redirected to Psycho-Babble Administration:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20020918/msgs/7717.html
Thanks!
Bob
Posted by Wildflower on November 1, 2004, at 10:06:53
In reply to After being on sick leave for a week, posted by partlycloudy on October 31, 2004, at 6:07:49
I'm happy for you that your coworkers are so supportive! That, in itself, should make you feel a tad happier :-).
I'm starting my 5th week of short term leave and I haven't heard a peep from anyone at work.
Want to trade jobs?
Posted by gardenergirl on November 1, 2004, at 12:55:00
In reply to After being on sick leave for a week, posted by partlycloudy on October 31, 2004, at 6:07:49
PC,
It's nice to hear from you. I'm so glad that co-workers are supportive. That probalby will help when you are ready to go back later. I sure hope you are your team are able to figure out a good plan for the mood swings. It sounds just awful for you. Are you still doing EMDR? For some reason I had it in my head that you had your last session of that. (I was actually thinking of trying it related to my dissertation phobia...but we'll see).Great about the music. I find that it really helps me, too, but I never put it on unless I am in the car or the shower. Silly me. Why is so hard for all of us to do what we know helps?
Take care, sweetie!
gg
Posted by partlycloudy on November 1, 2004, at 13:06:17
In reply to Re: After being on sick leave for a week » partlycloudy, posted by gardenergirl on November 1, 2004, at 12:55:00
Hi, gg. i'm done with the EMDR for now. the last session, in which we addressed my drinking behaviour, didn't actually turn out very well! i was very surprised to find that it increased my anxiety about it. so i decided to take a break and if i need a "refresher" in the future, won't hesitate to do it again.
thanks for asking :)
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