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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 35 to 59 of 59. Go back in thread:
Posted by AuntieMel on August 21, 2004, at 1:33:03
In reply to Re: I give up, please tell me » AuntieMel, posted by chemist on August 21, 2004, at 0:59:47
I sure hope they make it down Chewston way. I love thunderstorms.
Posted by Jai Narayan on August 21, 2004, at 8:09:52
In reply to Re: my (easy) solution... » Jai Narayan, posted by AuntieMel on August 21, 2004, at 0:00:35
> It is BECAUSE it is so serious that there is the need to poke fun. In my opinion, for whatever that's worth.
**Thank you for being honest AuntieMel.
I appreicate it because I have been really confused emotionally by this thread.
Okay, so what message does that give me?If I want to be serious and get some support I will get someone poking fun at me?
How would that work for you?
You may not know this but this making light of my serious concerns put a chill in my desire/need to post anything serious to this board.
This need to poke fun is a **trigger** for me?
Ouch
Posted by gardenergirl on August 21, 2004, at 8:56:41
In reply to need to poke fun is a **trigger** for me, posted by Jai Narayan on August 21, 2004, at 8:09:52
Posted by Larry Hoover on August 21, 2004, at 9:40:36
In reply to need to poke fun is a **trigger** for me, posted by Jai Narayan on August 21, 2004, at 8:09:52
> > It is BECAUSE it is so serious that there is the need to poke fun. In my opinion, for whatever that's worth.
>
> **Thank you for being honest AuntieMel.
> I appreicate it because I have been really confused emotionally by this thread.Before I begin my reply, let me say that I am renouncing my prohibition against your posting to me. I'm tentative about that, just so you know.
> Okay, so what message does that give me?
The only one I intended is that I was making fun of my name, and the implied link to the FBI. Other people picked that up, and off we go. The message is, "We are having fun, over here."
> If I want to be serious and get some support I will get someone poking fun at me?
Your sub-thread retained its seriousness. There were serious replies. In hindsight, it might make sense to create a new thread entirely, for playful asides? That can be done easily, by pasting it into the "Start a new thread" box.
> How would that work for you?
One other aspect that you might consider is speaking up early on. Just a thought. I didn't know you were offended or hurt, until now. I'm sorry.
> You may not know this but this making light of my serious concerns put a chill in my desire/need to post anything serious to this board.Hopefully, talking about it now makes that less chilling.
> This need to poke fun is a **trigger** for me?
>
>
> OuchIn hindsight, would owning your trigger sooner have prevented some of your emotional reaction? Would it have restored some sense of control over your environment, by being proactive, rather than reactive?
Lar
Posted by chemist on August 21, 2004, at 9:59:45
In reply to Re:Storms? » chemist, posted by AuntieMel on August 21, 2004, at 1:33:03
> I sure hope they make it down Chewston way. I love thunderstorms.
mel, any more water out houston way brings y'all closer to bastrop.....you're sinking, you know......:) best, chemist
Posted by chemist on August 21, 2004, at 10:40:58
In reply to need to poke fun is a **trigger** for me, posted by Jai Narayan on August 21, 2004, at 8:09:52
hello jai, chemist here....we are not acquainted, and let me take a bit of time here....
first off, my heartfelt apologies for any bad vibes sent your way due to my posts.
second, no harm was intended, rather i was wandering through and jumped in for some levity with parties (larry and kara) with whom i have gone back-and-forth with on that note elsewhere in PB-land. that's all, no harm intended, just having a bit of fun with larry and kara, although i understand your original (serious) post was ``hijacked'' in short time.
finally, dr. bob did actually take issue with - and quoted - KaraS's response in re: something politically-biased, which was in fact a response to *your* initial and inaugural post on this thread: i was not reprimanded (specifically) for having some yuks with Larry Hoover's surname, making a very clear reference to J. Edgar Hoover's proclivity for cross-dressing, nor were Larry, KaraS, or AuntieMel singled-out (or you, for that matter) for the ``Hoover name-game,'' or digressions concerning where i live, and so forth (although you did not take part in the antics).
dr. bob's PBC was directed at a response ilicited by you, after all: dr. bob did not mention any topic (Hoover's name, where i/mel live in texas, the defensible truth about J. Edgar Hoover's trasvestism, other digressions) other than that which *you* did instigate, namely the upcoming national elections in the u.s.
in that i am now informed in re: your feelings about such goofiness entering into a thread you started with the intention of (please correct me if i am mistaken) inspiring a political repartee, i will make it a point not to jump in and be party to moving things off-track.
again, you do have my apologies and promise that i will be sensitive to your disposition in the future. all the best, chemist
Posted by Jai Narayan on August 21, 2004, at 11:23:05
In reply to Re: need to poke fun is a **trigger** for me » Jai Narayan, posted by chemist on August 21, 2004, at 10:40:58
AuntiMel,
I know that my discomfort came pretty late in the thread but sometimes I don't always know why I am bugged by a comment.What could I have said to get your support instead my seriousness going over the top.
I don't want you blocked I would like my communication to improve.
How could I have gotten your support?
what could I have said?once again I appreciate that you were honest. because this issue is a trigger for me I would like to understand how my communciation contributes to this type of outcome?
Thank you Larry Hoover and Chemist and the hug from gardengirl.
I appreciate you comments.
Posted by chemist on August 21, 2004, at 11:38:49
In reply to Aunti Mel can you work with me on this?, posted by Jai Narayan on August 21, 2004, at 11:23:05
Posted by Jai Narayan on August 21, 2004, at 12:07:08
In reply to Re: need to poke fun is a **trigger** for me » Jai Narayan, posted by Larry Hoover on August 21, 2004, at 9:40:36
> Before I begin my reply, let me say that I am renouncing my prohibition against your posting to me. I'm tentative about that, just so you know.
>
**Thanks Larry, it's such a relief to say your name again. I understand the tentativeness of your prohibition. Accepted.> Your sub-thread retained its seriousness. There were serious replies. In hindsight, it might make sense to create a new thread entirely, for playful asides? That can be done easily, by pasting it into the "Start a new thread" box.
**I didn't know that. It sounds so easy.
> One other aspect that you might consider is speaking up early on. Just a thought. I didn't know you were offended or hurt, until now. I'm sorry.**I can see that now but I was too hurt to do anything at first. I was going to just stop posting....but that never works for me.
> Hopefully, talking about it now makes that less chilling.**yes I feel so much better now.
> In hindsight, would owning your trigger sooner have prevented some of your emotional reaction? Would it have restored some sense of control over your environment, by being proactive, rather than reactive?
***funny thing about not being on top of my feelings is I am not on top of my emotions.
But you are right and it took all of this to help me see what I could have done.thanks Larry
Posted by Jai Narayan on August 21, 2004, at 13:03:28
In reply to Re: need to poke fun is a **trigger** for me, posted by Jai Narayan on August 21, 2004, at 12:07:08
please see above post....
thanks.
Posted by KaraS on August 21, 2004, at 17:49:37
In reply to need to poke fun is a **trigger** for me, posted by Jai Narayan on August 21, 2004, at 8:09:52
> > It is BECAUSE it is so serious that there is the need to poke fun. In my opinion, for whatever that's worth.
>
> **Thank you for being honest AuntieMel.
> I appreicate it because I have been really confused emotionally by this thread.
>
> Okay, so what message does that give me?
>
> If I want to be serious and get some support I will get someone poking fun at me?
>
> How would that work for you?
>
> You may not know this but this making light of my serious concerns put a chill in my desire/need to post anything serious to this board.
>
>
> This need to poke fun is a **trigger** for me?
>
>
> Ouch
>Jai,
I am also sorry if our shenanigans were offensive to you. I do think you did the right thing by letting us know that you were hurt by them. Then you listened to what we had to say and reacted well to the advice and responses.For the record, I did want to discuss the original topic seriously (as well as continuing the humorous asides) but I feel very strongly about political things and I fear that more indepth responses might have gotten me blocked. What some might see as hyperbole, I see as truth. OTOH, I can understand Dr. Bob's not wanting to offend others within the overall context of a healing and supportive web site. Perhaps this just isn't the forum for serious political debate.
-Kara
Posted by KaraS on August 21, 2004, at 18:02:11
In reply to Re: FBI has begun interrogating activists » KaraS, posted by Larry Hoover on August 20, 2004, at 6:30:48
> > I didn't know you are a Cannuck (sp?). There is no other election that I can think of that is of any importance by comparison. What could effect the world more than the Canadian elections?
>
> Well, the outcome of a Canadian election affects the exchange rate, and y'all wanna keep getting Canadian goods and raw materials at a discount, dont'cha?
Yes, of course. And, BTW, my implying that the outcome of the Canadian elections couldn't effect the world that much was really a backhanded compliment (from my point of view). IMHO, it is not always a good thing to have that much effect on the lives of others in the world.
> My dad actually is named Herbert, and he is an American, and he is related to the President of that name. My mom and dad are divorced, and when she was in Las Vegas, she went out to Lake Mead. On spying the dam, she declared "They've misnamed it. It shouldn't be Hoover Dam, it should be Dam Hoover, and Lake Me."
>
I don't think I'll ever think of that Dam without thinking of you and that story. (Dam you, Hoover)-K :-) (did I do that right?)
Posted by Jai Narayan on August 21, 2004, at 18:47:19
In reply to Re: need to poke fun is a **trigger** for me » Jai Narayan, posted by KaraS on August 21, 2004, at 17:49:37
Thank you KaraS. I appreciate your support.
Dr. B's focus is harmony and support.
So politics seem to be disharmonious at best and at each others throats at worst.Lately I have been wondering when I started being so concerned about who was president of the USA?
It appears to me we seem to be slipping and sliding toward the rightwing.
I have studied what has happened to other countries when this has happened and all sorts of problems arise.
I am worried that our country could get more militaristic.
Selfishly I am worried about myself. I don't want to end up in a cell. I have strong beliefs that are not compatible with the rightwing.I went on vacation in Guatemala in the 1980's while they were at war internally and it's a heartbreaker how many people disappeared.
(I am scared of disappearing)
It didn't seem so abstract when I was there while it was happening.
I saw it in action.
I took photos of people that were killed the next weekend. I still had to develope their images and they no longer existed.
I remember showing a slide show of their faces and telling the audience that they may no longer be alive.When's the last time we saw a war on the citizens of the United States?
Guantánamo Bay, Cuba prisons now......
Cointelpro 1970's ....
Joe McCarthy blacklisting era 1950's....
WW2 when Japanese Americans put in internment camps....
all the way back to the Native Americans
Okay I'm depressed.
I have only myself to blame for this.
But thanks for listening.
Posted by KaraS on August 21, 2004, at 20:12:31
In reply to Re: need to poke fun is a **trigger** for me, posted by Jai Narayan on August 21, 2004, at 18:47:19
> Thank you KaraS. I appreciate your support.
>
> Dr. B's focus is harmony and support.
> So politics seem to be disharmonious at best and at each others throats at worst.Absolutely!
> Lately I have been wondering when I started being so concerned about who was president of the USA?
> It appears to me we seem to be slipping and sliding toward the rightwing.
> I have studied what has happened to other countries when this has happened and all sorts of problems arise.
> I am worried that our country could get more militaristic.
> Selfishly I am worried about myself. I don't want to end up in a cell. I have strong beliefs that are not compatible with the rightwing.
>
> I went on vacation in Guatemala in the 1980's while they were at war internally and it's a heartbreaker how many people disappeared.
> (I am scared of disappearing)
> It didn't seem so abstract when I was there while it was happening.
> I saw it in action.
> I took photos of people that were killed the next weekend. I still had to develope their images and they no longer existed.
> I remember showing a slide show of their faces and telling the audience that they may no longer be alive.
>
> When's the last time we saw a war on the citizens of the United States?
> Guantánamo Bay, Cuba prisons now......
> Cointelpro 1970's ....
> Joe McCarthy blacklisting era 1950's....
> WW2 when Japanese Americans put in internment camps....
> all the way back to the Native Americans
>
>
> Okay I'm depressed.
> I have only myself to blame for this.
> But thanks for listening.
>I too am displeased with and worried about the slip to the right in this country. You obviously have seen other countries policies that have scared you a great deal. Most of us here who have not seen such things first hand have a strong belief that nothing like that could ever happen here. My fears are not as strong as yours though I have had similar thoughts on a smaller scale. I am more optimistic because I think the balances set up in our system do help to eventually bring things back more to the center. (McCarthyism was horrible but it didn't lead to the situation in Guatemala. It eventually was exposed as the horror it really was.) I think that the attacks and ostracism of those opposing the war in Iraq have definitely calmed down and the debate is a bit more free-flowing. Unfortunately "unpatriotic" is still a label given those who disagree with current policy but things are not as horrible as they once were.
And, yeah, depression can make it seem much worse but you should not take any blame for that. Depression is not our fault!!!
Take care and keep the faith,
Kara
Posted by AuntieMel on August 21, 2004, at 20:18:36
In reply to Re:Storms? » AuntieMel, posted by chemist on August 21, 2004, at 9:59:45
We're sinking in more ways than one, I'm afraid.
It's so embarassing that T. Delay is from here. But before anyone says anything - HeIsNotInMyDistrict.
Thanks for the weather. The thunder started early this am. More this afternoon. Love it.
Funny aside = I did a trip to Croatia during the Bosnian war. We were only about 40 miles from the dangerous zones. I was wakened in the middle of the night by this loud rumbling, and immediately thought of shelling. I was pretty scared till I realized it was the weather. First time I heard thunder in Europe....
Posted by AuntieMel on August 21, 2004, at 20:25:49
In reply to need to poke fun is a **trigger** for me, posted by Jai Narayan on August 21, 2004, at 8:09:52
Actually I believe it is extremely serious myself. In fact I'd already started a thread on it before the archiving.
I didn't mean to sound so flip in my answer. It's just that in this type of case the humor diffuses the upset for me.
If it was a post about *you* I would never dream of poking fun. That would be being deliberately hurtful, something I hope that if I ever do I'd be banned for life.
I wouldn't want anyone making fun of my hurts, or me either for that matter. Personal hurts are something I take VERY seriously.
Again, I'm sorry if I hurt you.
Mel
Posted by chemist on August 21, 2004, at 20:26:53
In reply to Re:Storms? » chemist, posted by AuntieMel on August 21, 2004, at 20:18:36
yes, i agree with the sinking. despite efforts by the you-know-which party (i am trying very hard to be civil and inoffensive here, mind you, really), the redistricting of my beloved Lone Star State has not resulted in my ability to lob my support towards Rep. Doggett, thankfully. interesting about your trip abroad, must have been something....alas, i'll cut this short, this thread is not the right place for this......stay well, chemist
> We're sinking in more ways than one, I'm afraid.
>
> It's so embarassing that T. Delay is from here. But before anyone says anything - HeIsNotInMyDistrict.
>
> Thanks for the weather. The thunder started early this am. More this afternoon. Love it.
>
> Funny aside = I did a trip to Croatia during the Bosnian war. We were only about 40 miles from the dangerous zones. I was wakened in the middle of the night by this loud rumbling, and immediately thought of shelling. I was pretty scared till I realized it was the weather. First time I heard thunder in Europe....
Posted by AuntieMel on August 21, 2004, at 20:36:12
In reply to Re:Storms? » AuntieMel, posted by chemist on August 21, 2004, at 20:26:53
I love his campaign slogan "Why the h*ll not"
Posted by AuntieMel on August 21, 2004, at 20:55:31
In reply to Aunti Mel can you work with me on this?, posted by Jai Narayan on August 21, 2004, at 11:23:05
I'm really sorry about the comment. It was late and I was tired and not thinking too clearly. I really didn't catch that you were hurt.
Now, what I said is true. It's just that I could have said it much better.
My father was very emotionally abusive (till the day he died.) And until I was about 17 he'd lace that with a liberal dose of toosh whuppins. With a belt. Hard. And he'd keep going until we cried. I was just onery enough to refuse to cry - from about age 9, so I'd get whupped harder, till he eventually figured out that I just wasn't going to do it.
Afterwards my brother and sister would try to give me sympathy, which would make me want to cry even more. But I wouldn't, so I'd crack jokes to get myself out of that mood. To this day I do the same thing. Boss chew me out? Crack a joke.
But I don't direct this at other people. It's a mechanism to help *me* not get too emotional about something that hurts.
And what has happened to this country hurts. It's amazing to me that the most sinister things are called by a name that means the opposite.
"Patriot Act" - Translate: If you don't like me wiretapping you and you don't like it that the airlines have to turn all passenger lists and iteneraries you must not be a patriot.
Clean sky's initiative: The businesses can see clean skies ahead 'cause we're darn sure not going to enforce the pollution laws.
And it hurts that other countries weren't brought into Bush's Battles. Or that we didn't listen to their opinions.
Taking troops out of Germany and South Korea? It'll cost us a couple of trillion to do that - and why? Have you noticed that one country didn't send troops over in the first place and the other withdrew theirs?
So, yes it hurts. And like the clown, I'm laughing on the outside while I'm crying on the inside.
Mel
Posted by chemist on August 21, 2004, at 20:56:23
In reply to Kinky Friedman for Governor!! » chemist, posted by AuntieMel on August 21, 2004, at 20:36:12
> http://www.kinkyfriedman.com/
>
> I love his campaign slogan "Why the h*ll not"i used to write-in zappa, even after he died.....but check this one out: my brother is, shall we say, on the other side of the political fence than i am. he can currently be seen on c-span - no joke - when the house of reps (yes, the big one, in D.C.) is called for a vote, as he is a high-up staffer. the punchline is that he works for someone of *my* party affiliation, but it's a great gig for him, and he has to bite his tongue. second up: in 1998, he was interning for sen. bill frist, so i popped up to visit, and dropped by the senator's office. got my picture taken with my brother and frist: my ponytail was tied back, but the t-shirt with ``Nader in '96'' is clearly visable...all the best, chemist
Posted by AuntieMel on August 21, 2004, at 21:00:32
In reply to i have a better one than that..... » AuntieMel, posted by chemist on August 21, 2004, at 20:56:23
Well then, we can sort of get this back in the direction it started.
"You Are What You Is" is getting more and more relevent. 'my book is better than your book, and if you don't go by my book.....' Think Shrub was a Zappa fan? And he's a dim enough bulb to thik it was for real?
Posted by chemist on August 21, 2004, at 21:20:19
In reply to A Zappa fan? » chemist, posted by AuntieMel on August 21, 2004, at 21:00:32
> Well then, we can sort of get this back in the direction it started.
>
> "You Are What You Is" is getting more and more relevent. 'my book is better than your book, and if you don't go by my book.....' Think Shrub was a Zappa fan? And he's a dim enough bulb to thik it was for real?evelyn, a modified dog, viewed the quivering fringe of a special doily.....draped across the piano with some surprise.....i could go on and on and on....and i doubt very much that the shrub even knows who zappa was, probably thinks zappa is a type of pasta.......served with a nice marinara.....at least bongo fury was recorded here at the armadillo (yes, mentioned in ``inca roads,'' of course) in the olden days......zoot allures, chemist
Posted by Jai Narayan on August 22, 2004, at 8:07:13
In reply to Re: Aunti Mel can you work with me on this? » Jai Narayan, posted by AuntieMel on August 21, 2004, at 20:55:31
Thanks for the info on your life, I guess we all deal with abuse.
My abuser was my mother.
I wouldn't cry infront of her either but when I was alone I would cry.
My sisters would make fun of me when I was crying...
one of my sisters to this day can't let herself cry.
So we are clear AuntieMel.
Posted by AuntieMel on August 22, 2004, at 20:55:56
In reply to Re: Aunti Mel can you work with me on this?, posted by Jai Narayan on August 22, 2004, at 8:07:13
Thank you for telling me this. It helps to understand why people react certain ways.
Just be assured that I would NEVER poke fun at another person [well, ok, some politicians] because I've been on the receiving end of it myself and I knos how it feels.
Posted by Jai Narayan on August 22, 2004, at 21:00:09
In reply to Re: I coulda sworn I answered this » Jai Narayan, posted by AuntieMel on August 22, 2004, at 20:55:56
This is the end of the thread.
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