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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 19 of 19. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by kid47 on March 25, 2004, at 7:37:47
Once again I have decided to quit smoking. I don't smoke cigarettes. I smoke cigars. Not good cigars mind you, but those skinny little cigars that look and smell like a burning twig. No not pot. (I know that's what you were thinking.) The kind Clint Eastwood smoked in "High Plains Drifter" In fact someone once told me I looked a lot like Clint when I had one of those little stogies clinched between my teeth....no wait.....someone once told me I looked like a complete idiot (or maybe they said "total dork" I forget) when I tried to mimic Clint with a stogie clinched between my teeth. I know it had *something* to do with Clint Eastwood. (do ya feel lucky punk?) Plus when I *did* hold the cigar clinched between my teeth it would make my eyes water and then I'd kind of start coughing and hacking...you get the picture. ANYWAY, I decided this time I would be sensible about quitting and use a "smoking cessation aid" My crutch was Nicorette Gum. I chose the gum because when you say "Nicorette" with a French accent it has a very sophisticated and worldy ring to it. Plus I think I used to know a stripper by that name. So with that settled, I tossed the first piece in my mouth anticipating my new found freedom from cigars forever!
Now I'm a fairly articulate guy, but I'm not sure there are words to adequately describe the "Nicorette Gum Experience"!!! I could say it was like licking an ash tray. And I would'nt be guessing here, since I actually did lick the bottom of an ash tray the last time I tried to quit smoking. But that phrase just doesn't do it justice. Possibly a better description might involve sucking on a burning piece of charcoal, although I *would* be guessing in that case fortunately. You are not supposed to chew Nicorette the way you would chew "normal" gum. You are only supposed to chomp down on it 3 or 4 times "just until you notice a slight tingling senation in your mouth" or an enourmous spike in your blood pressure from nicotine OD causes you to pass out. Then you are supposed to "park" the gum between your cheek and gums. So after inadvertantly swallowing three pieces I decided to ignore the directions and just chew. And chew I did. I have lost two fillings and chipped a tooth. I bit a hole in my cheek the size of a quarter and my jaw intermittently locks up.(although my facial muscles are now sublimely toned) The good news is I am free from my dreadful cigar habit....I have however developed a two hundred dollar a day Nicorette addiction. I can no longer afford food or gas for my car, but by golly you won't catch me wasting a buck and a quarter on a package of cheap cigars. Any comments?
Posted by All Done on March 25, 2004, at 8:17:03
In reply to Gum, posted by kid47 on March 25, 2004, at 7:37:47
See, kid. This is exactly the reason I'm so delighted that you're posting. The tears well up in my eyes as I type this. Now, some might suggest this is the result of sleep deprivation, but to those critics I respond with a resounding, "No!" Well, maybe. Umm, yeah, okay that's probably it.
But I must thank you. Because of your heartwarming post, I get to begin my day with a smile, good laugh, and a much needed trip to the drugstore for Nicorette. You've inspired me. You've helped me to find the courage and inner strength I need. The fact that I've never smoked a day in my life, well, minor detail.
Have a beautiful day.
All Done
Posted by Karen_kay on March 25, 2004, at 8:30:36
In reply to Gum, posted by kid47 on March 25, 2004, at 7:37:47
Gosh, I just don't know what to say. Don't you have better things to waste your money on anyway? What does your mean wife say? Isn't she pretty good at spending all of your money? Isn't there a patch you could try instead? And did you get your chipped tooth fixed? How did you manage to chip a tooth chewing on gum anyway?
Perhaps you could replace this habit with a different one, like say, I don't know, being a Peeping Tom. Wait, don't you do that already? Then maybe you could focus on being the best undercover FBI agent in the world? And when you want a smoke, eat chocolate cake instead and spend that extra time at the gym. I don't have any advice for you. I'm a chain smoker and don't even want to think about the day I have to quit. Maybe just not chewing so hard on the gum would help. And not chewing so much of it. And walking to work will help with your gas problem. And who needs food anyway? Does that solve your problem? If not, don't tell me, I'm not good at this, solving problems and all... Wait for someone else, with more useful advice.. It's coming, just hold tight.
Posted by Karen_kay on March 25, 2004, at 8:41:52
In reply to Re: Gum » kid47, posted by All Done on March 25, 2004, at 8:17:03
Listen Chatty Kathy, it's much too early for this, so I'll get back to you later. I have to get to class. But, do know that this conversation will take place at a later date. If you aren't at least going to be helpful, then don't bother kid with your drooling at all. I'll catch up with you later! (And besides, shouldn't you be working or something? What if I put in a phone call to your boss? I thought so, now get back to work...)
Posted by kid47 on March 25, 2004, at 10:23:31
In reply to Re: Gum » kid47, posted by All Done on March 25, 2004, at 8:17:03
Posted by kid47 on March 25, 2004, at 10:26:25
In reply to Re: Gum, posted by Karen_kay on March 25, 2004, at 8:30:36
Posted by Miss Honeychurch on March 25, 2004, at 11:55:41
In reply to Re: Gum » kid47, posted by All Done on March 25, 2004, at 8:17:03
All Done, YOUR post made ME smile!
Posted by justyourlaugh on March 25, 2004, at 12:25:47
In reply to Re: Gum » All Done, posted by Miss Honeychurch on March 25, 2004, at 11:55:41
it keeps pulling the skin off my lips!
and they are bitc* to roll..
jyl
Posted by Karen_kay on March 25, 2004, at 12:34:29
In reply to Re: Gum » All Done, posted by Miss Honeychurch on March 25, 2004, at 11:55:41
And Miss Honey, you shouldn't encourage her. That will only make her unwanted behavior continue. And we wouldn't want that, now would we?
I'm happy to see you, you know? Bean's sitting next to me and he says he'll stop by your place about 7 to make you a nice dinner of red wine..... How's that sound? I hope you're feeling well today. The sun's shining here just for you dear.
Posted by Miss Honeychurch on March 25, 2004, at 15:33:06
In reply to Re: Gum » Miss Honeychurch, posted by Karen_kay on March 25, 2004, at 12:34:29
I prefer a dinner of single malt scotch to a dinner of wine. Bean knows that.
He's here now in fact, in an apron and a pair of shorts, with his watch and topsiders. It seems I am his one true love and he keeps girls from Indiana purely as distractive methods from his thinking of me.
I actually got him to say I was beautiful today, though not in the way I would like. He said my thoughts were beautiful, and he still hasn't said anything about my new haircut!!!!
Posted by shar on March 25, 2004, at 17:29:35
In reply to Gum, posted by kid47 on March 25, 2004, at 7:37:47
Oh, Thank You for several VERY good chuckles!!
The Clint reference was wonderful. I have a distant friend who saw "For a few dollars more" and its related shows once too often, and adopted not only the cigarillo, but pancho and hat as well (this was a while back...like 35 years or so). And, he WAS Clint. Personally, I love Clint in that trilogy, and his outfit, too.
Now, about the gum (oh, more chuckles and a great big grin more than once) I've never tried it. I have however used the patches. You know, when you have a tooth extraction you are not supposed to smoke (or use a straw) because it can end up in a dry socket (which is exceedingly painful); so I have, in the past, when a dental bridge was in order, preceded by an extraction, or wisdom teeth removed, used the patches to help me get through the first 3-4 days, with only an occasional cig. With my history, I, of course, thought this thread was about going to the periodontist (the 'gum' title and all that)! I also used patches to quit once. It lasted until I stopped using the patches, then I started smoking cigs again.
If you wear too many patches at one time, and then smoke a cigarette, it will, in fact, make you dizzy and nauseous (or at least it did me). Not ever one to forgo a chance to abuse drugs, I learned that the hard way.
Now I can't remember what the point of my post was, other than, maybe you could do a patch/gum combo that would take the financial pressure off.
As for your post. hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah.
Thank you!
xoxo
Shar
Posted by shar on March 25, 2004, at 17:31:28
In reply to Gum, posted by kid47 on March 25, 2004, at 7:37:47
YOU WOULD LEAVE US?
You, who made suicidal me laugh would even think of leaving?!
As they say in Amarillo, no way, Jose!
Shar
Posted by Karen_kay on March 25, 2004, at 20:11:54
In reply to Gum, posted by kid47 on March 25, 2004, at 7:37:47
Are you certain the stripper's name wasn't Nicolette? I was just rereading your post (and a rather humorous post I must say) and the thought occurred to me that you're chewing the wrong type of gum. Suppose you switch to a different brand? I think that you have the names confused, based on the bias you have towards the stripper you once knew. But, I'm sure her name was Nicolette, not Nicorette. So, suppose you switch brands? I wore a patch when I flew to France (it was a long flight!!!) and also when I had to do long filming and didn't expect a break.
And another thing, I have a framed picture of Clint Eastwood hanging in my kitchen. It sort of goes along with the black and white theme. Elvis is there as well, dressed like a cowboy, and a print of M C Escher (who I don't normally like, but it's an early work, so it goes well). Did you say you looked like Clint, or were just a dork? I can't quite recall? And if it's causing this much grief, you could always just stop by my house and lick my ashtrays until you become sick. Would that help with your problems? What can I say, I'm a problem-solver....
Posted by All Done on March 25, 2004, at 20:35:09
In reply to After careful reconsideration.. » kid47, posted by Karen_kay on March 25, 2004, at 20:11:54
Try Hubba Bubba Bubble Yum.
No, wait. That's Karen's brand.
Posted by kid47 on March 25, 2004, at 20:37:38
In reply to Plus... » kid47, posted by shar on March 25, 2004, at 17:31:28
> YOU WOULD LEAVE US?
>
> You, who made suicidal me laugh would even think of leaving?!
>
> As they say in Amarillo, no way, Jose!
>
> SharShar, I'll make you a deal. I'll stick around if you'll stick around. If the drivel I write brings a smile to your face, then darlin' I'll write this tripe till they track me down and take away my crayons. It's always good to hear from you!!
krafty
Posted by fallsfall on March 25, 2004, at 20:37:45
In reply to After careful reconsideration.. » kid47, posted by Karen_kay on March 25, 2004, at 20:11:54
I LOVE M C Escher. I have one on the wall in front of me, and another in the next room. Which one do you have?
Posted by Karen_kay on March 26, 2004, at 21:01:15
In reply to Re: After careful reconsideration.. » Karen_kay, posted by fallsfall on March 25, 2004, at 20:37:45
It's called Plane Filling II (I think???). It has the "devil" (as he calls it), and several other creatures such as fish and things. It's from around 1951 and I believe it's from his time in Holland. I could be wrong, as I don't know much about him. My favorite artist is Dali. I absolutely ADORE Dali. I just love his art. I like Pop art quite a bit as well, as well as Dada. But, enough about art. Who else do you enjoy?
Posted by Jai Narayan on March 27, 2004, at 16:01:40
In reply to Gum, posted by kid47 on March 25, 2004, at 7:37:47
Posted by fallsfall on March 28, 2004, at 9:18:19
In reply to Re: After careful reconsideration.. » fallsfall, posted by Karen_kay on March 26, 2004, at 21:01:15
It's from July 1957. I was 4 months old.
I bought this print, too, but never got it framed. It is a weird shape and I guess I can't decide if I like it or not.
My favorite is "Mobius Strip II (Red Ants)" http://www.worldofescher.com/gallery/MobiusStripII.html I actually have two of that -one for home, one for work. I fix software bugs, so I love the thought of these bugs walking forever on the strip.
I also have the waterfall one. http://www.worldofescher.com/gallery/A63.html I love the optical illusions. The ones where something morphs into something else are cool, too.
He's really the only artist I really like. I'm not into art much.
This is the end of the thread.
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