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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 25 of 191. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Miss Honeychurch on December 23, 2003, at 12:14:44
So I'm starting this thread in response to something Karen Kay mentioned about male therapists not being snappy dressers. I would love to read about any of your therapist fashion disasters, both male and female. My therapist commits the following crimes:
1. Wears short sleeve dress shirts with ties. Many times the shirts are so thin you can see his undershirt. And the undershirt is not a normal, short sleeve undershirt, but a sleeveless one! Ugh! (I don't agree that ties should be worn with short sleeves)
2. Likes to pair brown slacks with bright yellow shirts
3. wears "Top Siders." I have NEVER seen him wear a decent pair of shoes.
4. Wears short socks so when he crosses his legs you can see his leg hair (of which there is a lot)
5. When wearing a sweater, he TUCKS IT IN his pants!!There are more, I'm just getting started. Anyone else?
Good think I love him so much and he is brilliant...
Posted by Karen_kay on December 23, 2003, at 14:16:12
In reply to Therapist fashion disasters, posted by Miss Honeychurch on December 23, 2003, at 12:14:44
Slow down Bessie.....
Now, you say that you have a crush on this man?How do you see past his obvious lack of fashion sense? I just have to say that I have quite a bit of respect for you. If my (PERFECT) therapist dressed like that, I would have to comment on it. I honestly think I would. Well, I guess it depends. If it suits his personality, then I would find it charming. Do you mind describing him physically? (For example, my therapist looks similar to Craig Kilborn, so his fashion sense suits him perfectly.)
Ok, let's rule a few things out first....
First, is it possible he is color blind?
Or, maybe he is so enthralled in helping solve your problems that he doesn't have time to update his 1980's wardrobe (but not the stylish type).
But, maybe he just thinks he is stylish? (OMG!)
Or, he just doesn't care. Now, that would be grand! The world would be so much better if we didn't care, but boring and drab just the same.
BTW, what in the world are "top sliders"????
I couldn't see your therapist. I wouldn't be able to take anything he says seriously. I couldn't get past his wardrobe. I'm critical, I know. I'm blessed to have a stylish and sexy therapist :) He's mid-30ish with blonde hair. PERFECTO!!!!
But, he does wear glasses and they reflect. That annoys me.
Also, sometimes his shoes are scuffed up a little.
And his pants sometimes are frayed a little at the bottom, but I think that's OK (I GUESS).I used to try to out do him. A power struggle of sorts. I used to go to therapy in business suits, so that I could have the upper hand. He got a kick out of it, but it became a real pain in my butt. I quit that after about a month. But, I still think I dress better than he does anyway :)
Those are my complaints....
The good things...
His socks are always lovely!!! And I always comment. They are never too short. And his pants are never too short either. Just right.
His shoes always match his belt. (GOOD, GREAT!!)
He never wears short sleeves, and he always wears a tie.
He dresses up, even on Casual Friday.
He uses product in his hair.
His ties aren't over the top or too drab, though there is one in particular I dislike. But, I let it go, as it is only one out of many.
Since he is a snappy dresser, I wonder what his coat looks like. (I'm crazy!!!) I do wonder if he wears a nice coat or a stupid one. That will be the deciding factor. If it is a nice coat, then he's completely perfect in the fashion department. If not, then I'll mention he should look into getting a new coat. I'll search his office next time I go in to see the coat. But, I haven't seen it before. I'm pretty petty about stuff like this. But, if he's going to be trusted with my secrets, he'd better know how to dress himself.
Posted by tabitha on December 23, 2003, at 16:56:57
In reply to Therapist fashion disasters, posted by Miss Honeychurch on December 23, 2003, at 12:14:44
Wow. That man needs one of those queer eye makeovers for certain. How's his hairstyle?
My therapist is female and always impeccably dressed. None of that stereotypical caftans and big jewelry stuff either. Trim, pricey looking suits, nylons, flat shoes, and the occasional matched necklace and earrings set. Quite a bit of color. Her office, on the other hand, is drab and seriously needs some perking up. It's passably professional, but there is just not one interesting or attractive thing in the room.
Posted by Karen_kay on December 23, 2003, at 17:13:02
In reply to Re: Therapist fashion disasters » Miss Honeychurch, posted by tabitha on December 23, 2003, at 16:56:57
I see him once a month and EVERY SINGLE TIME I see him he is wearing the exact same shirt and slacks. I swear it! It's a navy and cream shirt and navy slacks. I swear!!! It is outrageous. But, I still think he's good looking. I'd consider him, but I'd have to be sure his underwear is clean >)
Posted by Dinah on December 23, 2003, at 18:03:37
In reply to Therapist fashion disasters, posted by Miss Honeychurch on December 23, 2003, at 12:14:44
Mine dresses frighteningly well. His shoes could blind you. His shirts are perfectly ironed. And his hair always looks like he just walked out of the salon.
And me? Wrinkled, perhaps a few holes, untucked, etc. etc. etc.
I think he thinks poorly of me because of it, or thinks I have serious pathology or something.
Posted by Emme on December 23, 2003, at 21:38:32
In reply to Re: Therapist fashion disasters, posted by Dinah on December 23, 2003, at 18:03:37
> Mine dresses frighteningly well. His shoes could blind you. His shirts are perfectly ironed. And his hair always looks like he just walked out of the salon.
I think that would make me a little nervous.
> And me? Wrinkled, perhaps a few holes, untucked, etc. etc. etc.
That's me too. :) Jeans, baggy polartec pullovers.
> I think he thinks poorly of me because of it, or thinks I have serious pathology or something.
Just means you like to be comfortable!I laughed at the poster above who said their pdoc always wore the same clothes. The first 2 or 3 times I saw my pdoc, she was wearing the same outfit. I felt like I was in a Seinfeld episode. I was relieved when I started seeing her in different clothes.
Posted by noa on December 23, 2003, at 22:13:42
In reply to Re: Therapist fashion disasters » Dinah, posted by Emme on December 23, 2003, at 21:38:32
Dinah,
Maybe your therapist is a bit OCD?
Posted by noa on December 23, 2003, at 22:16:12
In reply to Re: Therapist fashion disasters » Dinah, posted by Emme on December 23, 2003, at 21:38:32
Mine's not much of a dresser either, but nothing jarring. It's kind of comforting that he wears fairly nondescript clothes--khakis and an oxford shirt, etc. His shoes need updating. But this is more comfortable for me than a really snappy dresser would be, because I'm not much of a fashionplate myself.
Posted by st@cy on December 23, 2003, at 22:16:24
In reply to Therapist fashion disasters, posted by Miss Honeychurch on December 23, 2003, at 12:14:44
i used to have a therapist that wore these HUGE glasses with bright purple frames and her poor head was just too little for them. she is a wonderful therapist, but i think she could use some guidance when it came to her fashion sense..
Posted by Dinah on December 23, 2003, at 22:23:00
In reply to Re: Therapist fashion disasters, posted by noa on December 23, 2003, at 22:13:42
The funny thing is that in every other aspect of his life, he's a mess. His desk is sloppy, he double books people. Ten minutes late is his usual starting time. Stuff (including stuff he really shouldn't leave lying around) is lying everywhere. But his appearance he takes very seriously. That and his car.
He's mentioned my appearance at least twice. Once to let me know that people who dress like I do and wear no makeup often have self esteem issues. And another time to let me know that sometimes it's ok to try to fit in. (Ummmm, thanks.)
It's one of those weird things that lets me know that we have really different priorities.
Posted by Karen_kay on December 23, 2003, at 23:29:20
In reply to Re: Therapist fashion disasters » noa, posted by Dinah on December 23, 2003, at 22:23:00
He's mentioned my appearance at least twice. Once to let me know that people who dress like I do and wear no makeup often have self esteem issues. And another time to let me know that sometimes it's ok to try to fit in.
<<<What??? Do you ever happen to mention to him that people who try to overcompensate with their appearance are hiding behind their physical image and persona? (And trust me, I know all about that!!) Good grief! Could it just be that you don't see a need to get a gussied up to visit him? I can't believe that he would make an unfair statment like that (and it is unfair right?).
Posted by Medusa on December 24, 2003, at 7:59:05
In reply to Therapist fashion disasters, posted by Miss Honeychurch on December 23, 2003, at 12:14:44
> 1. Wears short sleeve dress shirts with ties.
And no jacket?
>shirts are so thin you can see his undershirt.Well, thank goodness he has the undershirt on, no? Imagine what else you'd be seeing!
>a sleeveless one!
A "wifebeater"? ;) Oh gosh I sure hope that doesn't make the wifebeaters on the board feel insulted or put down ...
Actually all the men I've known (not ALL in the biblical sense!) have worn these. Oh wait, my father wears the ones with sleeves. What would Freud say about my undershirt-type selection? He had opinions on slips ...
> 3. wears "Top Siders."No idea what these are.
> 4. Wears short socks so when he crosses his legs you can see his leg hair (of which there is a lot)Naaaaaaaaaaaaaasty!
> 5. When wearing a sweater, he TUCKS IT IN his pants!!
>Snort. I did this ONCE (to a therapy session no less!) years and years ago because I'd pulled on pants and was rushing out the door and suddenly the pants were too big, and the sweater got them up to the lowest belt-buckle size. It was a hand-knit cable fisherman cardigan, and maybe my therapist posted about it on her therapy-clients-fashion-faux-pas list.
It was time for a topic like this. Thanks Miss Honeychurch! I look forward to your further installments.
Posted by Medusa on December 24, 2003, at 8:14:02
In reply to Re: Therapist fashion disasters, posted by Karen_kay on December 23, 2003, at 14:16:12
> But, he does wear glasses and they reflect. That annoys me.
>The scratch-resistant anti-reflective coatings would add less than the cost of one therapy session to the price of his glasses. Good lord, since eye contact is SO important, why is he saving money on this end?
Right now I'm wearing my kick-around glasses, and even THEY have the highest-quality version of this coating. (In case I have to drive in them, esp at night.) And nobody much looks at my beady eyes, never mind however many patients a day he has. So I have no sympathy on the reflecting-glasses front
> Also, sometimes his shoes are scuffed up a little.
>Bad bad bad! Scuffed dress shoes is a sign of so many qualities I don't appreciate.
I had a woman therapist who wore scuffed frumpy dress shoes. With tights and these pleated skirts that were absolutely the wrong length on her.
> I still think I dress better than he does anyway :)
>What do you wear to therapy these days?
> His socks are always lovely!!! And I always comment. They are never too short. And his pants are never too short either. Just right.
>Ooooooooooh! Where's he get his socks?
I met one of my sisters in Vienna once, and after breakfast I got her to go up to a tourist and tell him, in a funny accent, that his pants were too short. They really were. And he was wearing white athletic socks with them, and black sneakers. He probably thinks that Vienna has fashion police.
> His shoes always match his belt. (GOOD, GREAT!!)Color, or pattern and finish too? I haven't ever thought this far. Thanks for the tip, one more thing to put on my list.
> I wonder what his coat looks like.what if he doesn't wear one?
Posted by Medusa on December 24, 2003, at 8:15:24
In reply to Tabitha's therapist's coat, posted by Medusa on December 24, 2003, at 8:14:02
Posted by Medusa on December 24, 2003, at 8:29:13
In reply to Re: Therapist fashion disasters » noa, posted by Dinah on December 23, 2003, at 22:23:00
> He's mentioned my appearance at least twice. Once to let me know that people who dress like I do and wear no makeup often have self esteem issues.
>
Um, yeah and not to be snarky, but I'd have said well so what issues do people with messy offices have?One therapist really ragged on my appearance in general ("mannish"), and bubbled praise when she approved of specifics. She'd probably approve of how I dress now, but mannerisms and gestures and posture aren't so easy to change. There are women who look womanly in dungarees and fleece, and even in a drapey wrap top I still have my gruff manner.
I'm about to make a fleece jacket for myself for hiking, and I'm torn between two patterns. One semi-fitted, with shoulder seams at the shoulders, the other baggy with drop shoulders. I hope I don't let some therapist's comments affect my own personal decisions like this one, and Dinah I hope that you don't, either.
Posted by Karen_kay on December 24, 2003, at 9:02:02
In reply to Tabitha's therapist's coat, posted by Medusa on December 24, 2003, at 8:14:02
Thanks for letting me continue with my therapist's choice of dress. It seems I've been dogging him on the other board, so I *need* to try to keep something positive going...
Good lord, since eye contact is SO important, why is he saving money on this end?
<<Now, I'm not sure if his glasses really reflect so much that it is to the point that it annoys me, or if I'm just making excuses not to make eye contact. Well,,,, I'm certain they do reflect because I wouldn't make excuses about anything. So, now the hard question comes. Should I broach the matter? I'm going to be seriously annoyed with him my next visit anyway, so I don't mind getting into it. But, I don't want to give him any ammunition to shoot back. In other words, I don't want him to say, "Now Karen, that's BS. You don't make eye contact because of the subject. You're just finding petty annoyances to point out. Let's get back to the discussion." He becomes quite frustrated with me anyway, which in turn leaves me feeling hostile and staring at his sometimes scuffed shoes.
Scuffed dress shoes is a sign of so many qualities I don't appreciate
<<They are only sometimes scuffed. And not bad at all. Only minor. It's just something I notice from time to time. I'm overly-critical. I'd never point that out. I guess it happens to the best of us.
What do you wear to therapy these days?
<<Well, during finals I wore khakis (nice ones, not cargo pants, yuck!) and a nice black sweater with a swanky pair of black boots with a heel. The khakis emphasized my arse and the sweater emphasized my neck. No cleavage, promise :) But, typically I wear something similar to business casual. Dress slacks and nice dress shirt with a pair of dress boots. On occassion I do pair up jeans with a nice shirt or sweater, but only if I don't have anything that I have to do that day and I plan on coming home and changing into my pj's!!
My problem is that I think for some reason EVERYTHING will be ok if I look ok. That people won't know I'm not ok if I don't look ok. That I won't know I'm not ok if I look good. I think I can fool myself. It's worked this long.Where's he get his socks?
<<I've never thought to ask. You're bringing up so many questions for me :) But they almost always have patterns that match the color of his tie. I wonder sometimes if his wife dresses him. But, my old man dresses nice as well, and I don't always have to dress him. I have to help him pick out ties and socks and shoes, but I don't have to dress him. As for the socks, I'd say he buys them at a high-end store. They're similar to the type my old man wears as well. Maybe that's why I always notice them.
Color, or pattern and finish too?<<Since he always opts for brown, he wears a brown belt and brown shoes. The belts never have a pattern, but there is a finish. It's a bit shiny, but it matches his shoes perfectly.
He's a snazzy dresser! But, not over the top like Dinah's. And he's never once been overly critical of me. He makes comments to me about my dress. When I used to come in looking especially nice, he'd say, "Do you have a job interview?" And I'd say, in my sexiest voice, "No, I'm just here to see you." And he'd just laugh. This continued for about a month. Then I finally said, "Listen this is getting to be a pain in my butt. I have to come home from class, redo my hair and makeup, change my clothes and get back in here within an hour. Give me permission to wear jeans!" And he'd just say, "Well, you look nice, but you can wear what you want. You should be comfortable." So, he kept telling me how nice I looked. Stupid therapist!
As for the coat, he has to wear one. Maybe he keeps it in the lounge? I'll sneak in there one day and scope the place out. Maybe he'll lock me up? But, at least I'll know what his coat looks like...
Posted by Karen_kay on December 24, 2003, at 11:47:54
In reply to Miss Honeychurch's therapist's shirts, posted by Medusa on December 24, 2003, at 7:59:05
> > 1. Wears short sleeve dress shirts with ties.
>
> And no jacket?***Hello, And no jacket??? Of course he doesn't wear a jacket. I'm surprised the man comes in with his fly zipped. Miss Honey, his fly is zipped, isn't it?
> >shirts are so thin you can see his undershirt.
>
> Well, thank goodness he has the undershirt on, no? Imagine what else you'd be seeing!***I highly doubt you'd see anything but fur, if you judge it according to his leg hair. And that's a fine predictor of what his chest would look like. Why even bother wearing a shirt??
>
> >a sleeveless one!
>
> A "wifebeater"? ;) Oh gosh I sure hope that doesn't make the wifebeaters on the board feel insulted or put down ...***How kind of you. Ha ha ha ha ha....
> Actually all the men I've known (not ALL in the biblical sense!) have worn these. Oh wait, my father wears the ones with sleeves. What would Freud say about my undershirt-type selection? He had opinions on slips ...
***He sounds rather backwards in his fashion taste, or lack thereof. I'd say the wifebeater is fine in the summer or with the short sleeved shirt (because it would be worse if the sleeve of his undershirt hung out over his dress shirt). And it sounds like he just might make that fashion faux pas! I only wish I could draw a picture.> > 3. wears "Top Siders."
>
> No idea what these are.
***Miss Honey.. What is that?? High tops??
Tennis shoes?? I'm just dying to know so we can keep making fun of him!
> > 4. Wears short socks so when he crosses his legs you can see his leg hair (of which there is a lot)
>
> Naaaaaaaaaaaaaasty!
***Do you stare at his leg hair rather than make eye contact? I stare at my therapist's socks often, but they're rather charming... Is it black? Look like a spider?
> > 5. When wearing a sweater, he TUCKS IT IN his pants!!
> >
>
> Snort. I did this ONCE (to a therapy session no less!) years and years ago because I'd pulled on pants and was rushing out the door and suddenly the pants were too big, and the sweater got them up to the lowest belt-buckle size. It was a hand-knit cable fisherman cardigan, and maybe my therapist posted about it on her therapy-clients-fashion-faux-pas list.***SNORT!!! You tucked a sweater into you pants? Were they jeans or slacks? Guess it doesn't matter either way.... At least you have an excuse for it. Now, does your therapist wear his pants way up high? And I take it he is rather thin? This is why you see so much leg hair. Ask him to pull his pants down a bit. That his leg hair is distracting you. You feel as if you are talking to an endangered species rather than a person. And tell him that you refuse to bring him a copy of next week's agenda until he untucks his sweater. Better yet, just put it on the agenda...
Miss Honey
2:00 Agenda2:00-2:02 Don Juan's Lack of fashion
2:03-2:45 Don Juan's incessant crying and uncontrollable outburst
2:45-2:49 Reassuring Don Juan I was joking
2:49-2:50 Reschedule and FarewellNow, next week he'll look brand-*spanking* new!
> It was time for a topic like this. Thanks Miss Honeychurch! I look forward to your further installments.
**Me too!!!
Posted by tabitha on December 24, 2003, at 14:31:13
In reply to Re: Miss Honeychurch's therapist's shirts » Medusa, posted by Karen_kay on December 24, 2003, at 11:47:54
They're these things
http://www.sperrytopsider.com/images/leather.jpg
In the 80's all the preppy guys wore them with no socks.
Posted by Karen_kay on December 24, 2003, at 14:43:16
In reply to Re: What Top Siders Are, posted by tabitha on December 24, 2003, at 14:31:13
Tabitha, how did you know that? And thank you for the picture. It was so very nice to include three different styles.
Miss Honey....
His choice in shoe seems to go along with the rest of his wardrobe. How old is he? Where do you live? Do you think I could possibly just book one appointment with him? Just one... I jsut want to see what he looks like in real life. He reminds me of a man in his late 80's actually. Pants pulled up to his chin, white athletic socks with the top siders, sweater tucked into his pants... You get the idea. Honestly, how in the world could you get a crush on a man who looks as if he gets dressed in his grandfather's closet? And again, be sure to check next time if his fly is zipped, ok? Do it for me. And make sure he's watching when you do it :)
Karen
Posted by Medusa on December 24, 2003, at 14:44:08
In reply to Re: What Top Siders Are, posted by tabitha on December 24, 2003, at 14:31:13
> In the 80's all the preppy guys wore them with no socks.
>well, barefoot is better than with white athletic socks ...
what do preppy guys wear now?
Posted by Karen_kay on December 24, 2003, at 15:27:05
In reply to Re: What Top Siders Are, posted by Medusa on December 24, 2003, at 14:44:08
what do preppy guys wear now?
I'd say anything from Old Navy, American Eagle, The GAp...... There's a difference between looking nice and being preppy. I think that being preppy would consist of buying anything you see on the Old Navy or American Eagle or The Gap commercial and looking classy would be incorporating your own style and sense of flair into your clothing. I wouldn't necesarily say that Old Navy is dressy by any means but I would have to say that there is no sense of direction in the clothing. Almost like GRAnimals or whatever you call the childrens clothing. You could essentially pick anything up off the wrack and put them together and you have an instant outfit that matches. Without taste or style. And you look like a carbon copy of everyone else you see walking through the mall, in the coffee shop, riding on the bus... You get the picture.....
Posted by noa on December 24, 2003, at 15:49:21
In reply to Re: What Top Siders Are » Medusa, posted by Karen_kay on December 24, 2003, at 15:27:05
We used to call them Docksiders.
Posted by 8 Miles on December 24, 2003, at 16:17:07
In reply to Therapist fashion disasters, posted by Miss Honeychurch on December 23, 2003, at 12:14:44
Well, I didn't read the other follow-ups, but here's my spin on the subject. Didn't you have college professors who dressed in the same manner? Some of the most intelligent people I know have no clue (or no care?) about "fashion". Personally, I find it a point of humor more than a fashion statement. Some people literally get so caught up in their work that they neglect simple things like cleaning their sink of dishes, etc. Perhaps THEY are the ones who have the right attitude. I wish I could not worry about all the stuff I worry about! I mean gesse, I've got my worrying booked up for the next year! I do wear nice shoes ( I buy a new pair every 4 years or so, whether I need them or not).
Maybe it's just me.
8
Posted by fallsfall on December 24, 2003, at 16:59:19
In reply to Re: Therapist fashion disasters » Miss Honeychurch, posted by 8 Miles on December 24, 2003, at 16:17:07
My therapist wears bowties sometimes. Sometime he wears regular ties. I think the bowties are cute.
His socks are long, and he often pulls them up at the beginning of a session.
I haven't been wearing any socks with my loafers. My daughter stole some of my socks, and I didn't have that many to begin with. If I wore socks all the time, I would have to:
1. Find a pair that matches
2. Take the time to put them on
3. Do laundry on a regular basis
4. Have to take off both my shoes AND socks in order to go barefoot in my houseDefinately not worth it. I'm glad he wears socks, though.
Posted by tabitha on December 24, 2003, at 17:27:05
In reply to Re: Therapist fashion disasters, posted by fallsfall on December 24, 2003, at 16:59:19
I hear you on the socks issue, Falls. Having to match them up after doing laundry is my downfall. I've tried buying all the same color, but they never *quite* match, and then having them so close just makes it all the harder to find ones that really do match.
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