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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 3 to 27 of 35. Go back in thread:
Posted by Susan J on October 8, 2003, at 10:29:11
In reply to Re: Gabbix....you made me post on Social!!!, posted by Tabitha on October 8, 2003, at 0:45:03
I agree with them! It's nice to see you back, Gabbi. Cleverness and originality are always welcome in my book. :-) Selfish of me, I know.
Ciao!
Posted by gabbix2 on October 8, 2003, at 13:09:34
In reply to Re: Gabbix....you made me post on Social!!!, posted by Susan J on October 8, 2003, at 10:29:11
You guys are the best, really you are.
I don't think there is much cleverness or originality left though. I just feel beaten up.
Maybe later?
I feel violated and well ill truly I haven't stopped shaking since yesterday.
And those are issues I was already struggling with you know? I was starting to talk about them on babble. People when I was younger who could have protected me, who should have and didn't.How could someone knowingly let someone with a history of abuse back in with another name. The whole is more than the sum of its parts. Its not just one little babble incident anymore.
I'm sorry this wasnt' a more fun post.
I love you guys
I'm just having a really difficult time.
Thanks it doesn't mean I don't love being begged back though. I'd probably be sad if it stopped.
Posted by Susan J on October 8, 2003, at 13:16:00
In reply to Re: Gabbix....you made me post on Social!!!, posted by gabbix2 on October 8, 2003, at 13:09:34
Gab,
>>> I feel violated and well ill truly I haven't stopped shaking since yesterday.
<<I'm sorry. I wish I had some good advice on how to deal with those feelings so they'd go away, but I have none. Useless Susan. :-)>>I was starting to talk about them on babble. People when I was younger who could have protected me, who should have and didn't.
<<I think *that* in itself is a good reason to prevent abusive people from coming back. This place is supposed to be supportive, right? How supportive is it if you feel you can't post.....
I know in the order of fairness they need to come up with some standards defining *abusive*, but I think the work there is worth the reward of a more peaceful board....> I'm just having a really difficult time.
> Thanks it doesn't mean I don't love being begged back though. I'd probably be sad if it stopped.
<<Ya know, you are original and witty even when you're down. Even when you are angry. Even when you're smiling. *I* miss it, but do what's best for you.But, I've said this before, you really do *add* to the board. You make it a good place to be.
Susan
Posted by lil' jimi on October 8, 2003, at 13:48:55
In reply to Re: Gabbix....you made me post on Social!!!, posted by gabbix2 on October 8, 2003, at 13:09:34
hey!
i need you ...
crazy karen decided to bail out on us (me!!) ...
... we are both (i am !) in a bad space ...we (I!) got to have marilyn's voice to help pull Me through .... PLEASE?
zSheeClay would not listen to me and busted herself ...
.. .. .. we were going to play ! ... now she gone for 4 WEEKS ... .... while you-know-who acts all "civil" ...please help me ... ... my sense of armor .. i mean humor is only so strong here ... ... where's a straight married guy going to find any decent wisecracks now ? ... ... eh?
tell karen i love her ... ... she may have forced me to post my e-mail here ... i told her i neeeded her! ..... what was she thinking ?
om ah ra pa cha ne dhi! .... dang it !
~ jim
Posted by Dinah on October 8, 2003, at 17:56:50
In reply to Re: Gabbix....you made me post on Social!!!, posted by gabbix2 on October 8, 2003, at 13:09:34
Don't leave for good. Take a mental health break if it feels right for you. But I'd miiiiisssssss you if you left for good.
(By the way, maybe Dr. Bob appears to let things slide sometimes because his eyes are tired and bleary from reading so many posts and he just skimmed some over. He very rarely makes a retrospective PBC so if he missed it the first time, he'd probably let it go. Which isn't a bad thing because if you're worried about a post and he goes over the board without saying something, you probably don't have to worry for the remainder of your board participation about that post. And he *is* proposing changes to the new poster identity rule. Cool. See, every once in a while our feedback does matter.)
Posted by fallsfall on October 8, 2003, at 18:01:49
In reply to Re: Gabbix....you made me post on Social!!!, posted by gabbix2 on October 8, 2003, at 13:09:34
Please don't leave for good. We need you around here. You could take some time off, let's see, what could you do while you re taking time off?? Ice Cream!
Posted by gabbix2 on October 8, 2003, at 20:48:44
In reply to Re: With sugar on top? » gabbix2, posted by fallsfall on October 8, 2003, at 18:01:49
Shucks, I definitely need a mental health break
but OKAY I'll be back, and thank you for making
me feel needed, cause god knows I need you guys.I've been shaking for 3 days now like one of those nervous little white dogs, is there something as comforting as Ice Cream that isn't cold? I wish it came in warm.
Posted by Sabina on October 8, 2003, at 21:03:12
In reply to Well....., posted by gabbix2 on October 8, 2003, at 20:48:44
Posted by fallsfall on October 8, 2003, at 21:18:42
In reply to Well....., posted by gabbix2 on October 8, 2003, at 20:48:44
Posted by gabbix2 on October 8, 2003, at 21:33:13
In reply to Make it from scratch with cream instead of milk? (nm) » gabbix2, posted by fallsfall on October 8, 2003, at 21:18:42
How do I miss these things? What a good idea,
it may even get me out of the house for a walk to the store.My cat is being no comfort to me at all.
I made the mistake of giving him a treat of canned cat food yesterday.And today all I can see in his eyes is the fact that if he were any bigger he would happily gnaw off my leg if it would get him any more.
Posted by Tabitha on October 8, 2003, at 21:45:53
In reply to Thank you!, posted by gabbix2 on October 8, 2003, at 21:33:13
Think I'll get Cherry Garcia. Or that banana split type. Mmmmm Ice Cream!
Posted by Sabina on October 8, 2003, at 21:57:46
In reply to Thank you!, posted by gabbix2 on October 8, 2003, at 21:33:13
i spent $225 to have one of my dog's teeth fixed a week and a half ago (he sheared it off being his madman self at a kennel).
the doctor ordered moist food for two weeks. thank god i bought the kind that comes in a pouch instead of a can because he liked it SO VERY much that he managed to open the closet door and get into the trash to shred the pouches and everything else in the bin.
i've been extra careful to keep the door closed since then...and he knows it. so picture this: tonight, i'm clearing up from dinner myself when my husband is feeding him. i'm walking toward the kitchen with our plates. i can still hear his bowl rattling. he crosses in front of me, still chewing. we make eye contact. he's running for the closet. i'm right behind him but his head is already IN THE BIN. he knows he's going to get caught! is he crazy? yes...crazy for moist food.
needless to say, we're going back to dry food tomorrow.
Posted by fallsfall on October 8, 2003, at 22:03:57
In reply to Re: Going for ice cream. Y'all gave me a craving., posted by Tabitha on October 8, 2003, at 21:45:53
Rich chocolate ice cream with gourmet fudge-filled chocolate hearts and thick ribbons of chocolate.
Chocolate Lover's Passion
From (do you believe it???) Cumberland Farms (convenience store/gas station for those not in the their area)
Straight out of the carton.
Posted by fallsfall on October 8, 2003, at 22:06:41
In reply to Re: Going for ice cream. Y'all gave me a craving., posted by fallsfall on October 8, 2003, at 22:03:57
Posted by Sabina on October 8, 2003, at 22:21:48
In reply to Re: Going for ice cream. Y'all gave me a craving., posted by fallsfall on October 8, 2003, at 22:03:57
i'm having too much trouble with the topamax to feel safe enough to drive. just waiting on the side effects to abate and the benefits to kick in.
a thought: maybe the weight loss from it is only because folks are too addled to drive or find their way to the kitchen?
you wouldn't believe how long it's taking me to type anything, but i can't sleep, either. a fruit smoothie just won't cut it, though, i'm afeared. i do think there's some cocoa out in the rv...
Posted by Tabitha on October 8, 2003, at 23:04:10
In reply to Re: Going for ice cream. Y'all gave me a craving., posted by fallsfall on October 8, 2003, at 22:03:57
Posted by lil' jimi on October 9, 2003, at 2:15:37
In reply to Thank you!, posted by gabbix2 on October 8, 2003, at 21:33:13
hey,
things are weird ...
i'm reading the posts in the sequence their notices pile up in my e-mail box ... i always do ... ... anyway, instead of reading one thread till i'm caught up, this takes me back and forth between threads ...... i'm so uncomfortable with where the admin thread is going ... ... i really appreciate la 'Bina asking what up with my i-statement ... ... i feel so (i Hate This word!) _stupid_ for not understanding how it's not an i-statement ...
... there's not enough lexapro in the world for this ...
anyway i haven't been able to go back to my inbox because i know it's an admin ...
... and you guys have made me feel better here .. ... a lot better ... thank you ...
... exept of course now i want some yummies ... and we don't have any here .. .. ... no, that's not true .... we do have some ice cream ...love,
~ jim
Posted by lil' jimi on October 9, 2003, at 2:33:48
In reply to Re: Going for ice cream. Y'all gave me a craving., posted by fallsfall on October 8, 2003, at 22:03:57
HA ! ... ... i lose!
i can already see (i pass the subject-lines on my way to the "let's make a post" button) ... ... that i'm out of my league ...
... all i got is a really funny name/flavor here ..."Healthy Choice
Premium Low Fat Ice Cream
Chocolate Chocolate Chunk"... made me laugh ...
... not bad at all ! ...
... at Fallsfall's suggestion, i was going to eat right out of the carton ...
... decided to use a spoon instead though ...... HA !
i needed that,
~ jim> Rich chocolate ice cream with gourmet fudge-filled chocolate hearts and thick ribbons of chocolate.
>
> Chocolate Lover's Passion
>
> From (do you believe it???) Cumberland Farms (convenience store/gas station for those not in the their area)
>
> Straight out of the carton.
Posted by lil' jimi on October 9, 2003, at 4:03:30
In reply to Nothing but spoon (nm), posted by fallsfall on October 8, 2003, at 22:06:41
... and now i see the spoon ... !
... i'm just late on eveything tonight ... like, tonight ... it 2:37 am cdt ... it's thursday morning
... in my time space frame of e-mail inbox reference, Dinah's just asking Prison Warden Bob how he's making up his Tea Party invitation lists and what are going to be the seating arangements for the victims and the perpetrators ...
... (i put "perpetrators" into the spell check box ... click the button ... hey i'm such a rebel: i using netscape tonight instead of explorer ... and the answer Is? .. i spelled it right this time) ...... so we are using spoons ... ... okay ... i feel better ...
... actually, i was feeling better before when i was posting about 2 posts ago ...
How hard can it be to see that asking for forgiveness does not equal making amends?
How hard is it to see that presuming on (preying upon) the hosptiality i feel honor bound to extend to strangers, under false pretenses, goes beyond the presumptiveness we call being rude, because it is actually fraud?
In what world does it make sense for those convicted and guilty of past fraud and deception, to use fraud and deception in their recovery and remediation from fraud and deception?
We are going to lie to make up for lying?
How is it supposed to be possible to repair distrust (i do not have to justify my distrust, do i?), by enabling a sneak to masquerade their way into my companionship without my permission or knowledge aforethought, without my accepting an apology? How can this be anything like making amends?
When did our privacy and our need for anonymity get turned into a decpetive masquerade to trick us into accepting our abusers?
Which part of this aspect of Babble is civil?
What kind of civilized is this?they were demented nasty-notes ... ... i forwarded them to dr. b ... he got them ... he saw how demented they were ... any non-demented person would see how demented they were ... this is not a put down ... it not an accusation .... oh, it's supposed to be this thing .. an I-Statement :
i got some ... hmmmmm ... things ... they made me feel like they were notes, maybe? ... to me anyway, just me ... i _Felt_ they were notes anyway ... and they also Felt (To Me), like nasty ... i FELT they were like maybe (To _Me_, now), like nasty notes ... that's just the way it made me feel
... well, let me rephrase ... ... how could i let anyone think i would ever accuse them of something they actually did to me and my friends? ... so, i'm sorry ... let's try the this:
I once upon a time I received some extemely, EXTREMELY Unsupportive missives that made me feel like someone wanted me to suffer and die ... ever heard of poison pen letters? ... these made me feel like they were poison pen letters, only a million times worse ... ... it was almost as if someone exercised deliberate malice aforethought to create prose to exact as much emotional damage and pain as possible through writing ... it was as if my suffering and my dying were specified ... at least that's the way it made me feel ... but, you know, that's just me ... ... i'm just a sucker for those word things and there meanings and somehow when someone uses those very words, Somehow it just makes me feel like they mean me harm ... ... but that's just because that's what they wrote ... ... many times ... i'm so silly because once would have been enough, but after several, i still felt the same way ... actually it made me feel even more threatened and hated after a while ... odd i would take it that way, though ... but you know i just that kind of guy ... ...
... and i am crazy enough to want to share this with some of my friends who have endured the exact same thing .... i want to give them my support because they are hurting too ....
thanks for listening ... it's 3:59 a.m.
carry on,
~ jimp.s. some of this could get posted at admin ...
some of it could get me canned ...
now i'm hungry for ('bina's?) dog's moist food ...
Nurse! ... more lexapro over here ! .. ... and keep 'em coming!
just starting to rain some here in austin, texas ...
~ j
Posted by Tabitha on October 9, 2003, at 4:05:20
In reply to re: Thank you!, posted by lil' jimi on October 9, 2003, at 2:15:37
Don't feel stupid for what you said. You spared us any ugly details and yet captured the tone with a succint description. I see it as a kindness. If I ever sent nasty emails I think I'd be grateful if the recipient described them that way and said no more about it. Dr Bob's interpretation is just ... kind of odd to me.
Posted by Tabitha on October 9, 2003, at 4:24:22
In reply to Re: Nothing but spoon, posted by lil' jimi on October 9, 2003, at 4:03:30
we just cross-posted. If you get banned I'm gonna get upset all over again. And here I managed to stay off Admin for a whole three hours or so.
Is there anything I can say to help? Besides that you didn't deserve what happened, and you don't deserve punishment for saying what happened in the usual human way with actual accurate descriptive words. But you knew that right?
Posted by lil' jimi on October 9, 2003, at 4:30:07
In reply to re: Thank you! » lil' jimi, posted by Tabitha on October 9, 2003, at 4:05:20
hi Tabster,
> Don't feel stupid for what you said. You spared us any ugly details and yet captured the tone with a succint description. I see it as a kindness. If I ever sent nasty emails I think I'd be grateful if the recipient described them that way and said no more about it. Dr Bob's interpretation is just ... kind of odd to me. >
beyond Odd, to me ...
ever feel like selective enforcement is being used against you, so you can be made some kind of an example?
it's not what i said that's making me feel (iHATEthisword) stupid ... ... it's getting a lecture on how to say it right and not being able to understand the lesson! ... my "I-Statement" is not 'really' an I-Statement !! . ... ???
now i will experss myself after self-editing and self-censoring for cility's sake:
What the *************************************************************************************** is that?
sorry i was so profane ... ... i feel better now
~ jim
Posted by lil' jimi on October 9, 2003, at 4:34:02
In reply to Re: Oh Jimi, posted by Tabitha on October 9, 2003, at 4:24:22
> we just cross-posted. If you get banned I'm gonna get upset all over again. And here I managed to stay off Admin for a whole three hours or so.
>
> Is there anything I can say to help? Besides that you didn't deserve what happened, and you don't deserve punishment for saying what happened in the usual human way with actual accurate descriptive words. But you knew that right?
>
>but it Is Very Sweet to hear it from you ... ... ... thank you very much ... ... i got to go to bed now ...
... we'll talk later ...
take care ,
~ sleepy jim
Posted by Dr. Bob on October 9, 2003, at 4:44:02
In reply to Re: Nothing but spoon, posted by lil' jimi on October 9, 2003, at 4:03:30
> How hard is it to see that presuming on (preying upon) the hosptiality i feel honor bound to extend to strangers, under false pretenses, goes beyond the presumptiveness we call being rude, because it is actually fraud?
I'm not going to respond administratively to posts here, to discuss posting policies, please post to PBA...
> a sneak
>
> our abusers
>
> demented nasty-notes ... ...
>
> extemely, EXTREMELY Unsupportive missives that made me feel like someone wanted me to suffer and die ... ever heard of poison pen letters? ... these made me feel like they were poison pen letters, only a million times worse ... ... it was almost as if someone exercised deliberate malice aforethought to create prose to exact as much emotional damage and pain as possible through writing ... it was as if my suffering and my dying were specified ...I'm sorry this has hit you so hard, but the idea here is not to post anything that could lead others to feel accused or put down, so I'm going to block you from posting for a week.
> it made me feel even more threatened and hated after a while ...
Now *that* is an I-statement...
Bob
Posted by Tabitha on October 9, 2003, at 4:55:59
In reply to re: Thank you! » Tabitha, posted by lil' jimi on October 9, 2003, at 4:30:07
OK now I'm laughing, that laughing-through-the- pain type of laughing. Yup, the reprimands are so humiliating, makes you feel like an 8 yr old punished in front of the whole class. Then people go on and on about the exact details of your offense (I'm guilty here) desperately trying to make sense of policy, and you're sitting by feeling (a) forgotten, while at the same time (b) embarassingly focused upon. Well I guess it's your feelings that are forgotten, and your words that are embarassingly focused upon.
It's crazy. I'm sorry I added to the debate about the correct nature of an I-statement.
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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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