Posted by lil' jimi on October 9, 2003, at 4:03:30
In reply to Nothing but spoon (nm), posted by fallsfall on October 8, 2003, at 22:06:41
... and now i see the spoon ... !
... i'm just late on eveything tonight ... like, tonight ... it 2:37 am cdt ... it's thursday morning
... in my time space frame of e-mail inbox reference, Dinah's just asking Prison Warden Bob how he's making up his Tea Party invitation lists and what are going to be the seating arangements for the victims and the perpetrators ...
... (i put "perpetrators" into the spell check box ... click the button ... hey i'm such a rebel: i using netscape tonight instead of explorer ... and the answer Is? .. i spelled it right this time) ...... so we are using spoons ... ... okay ... i feel better ...
... actually, i was feeling better before when i was posting about 2 posts ago ...
How hard can it be to see that asking for forgiveness does not equal making amends?
How hard is it to see that presuming on (preying upon) the hosptiality i feel honor bound to extend to strangers, under false pretenses, goes beyond the presumptiveness we call being rude, because it is actually fraud?
In what world does it make sense for those convicted and guilty of past fraud and deception, to use fraud and deception in their recovery and remediation from fraud and deception?
We are going to lie to make up for lying?
How is it supposed to be possible to repair distrust (i do not have to justify my distrust, do i?), by enabling a sneak to masquerade their way into my companionship without my permission or knowledge aforethought, without my accepting an apology? How can this be anything like making amends?
When did our privacy and our need for anonymity get turned into a decpetive masquerade to trick us into accepting our abusers?
Which part of this aspect of Babble is civil?
What kind of civilized is this?they were demented nasty-notes ... ... i forwarded them to dr. b ... he got them ... he saw how demented they were ... any non-demented person would see how demented they were ... this is not a put down ... it not an accusation .... oh, it's supposed to be this thing .. an I-Statement :
i got some ... hmmmmm ... things ... they made me feel like they were notes, maybe? ... to me anyway, just me ... i _Felt_ they were notes anyway ... and they also Felt (To Me), like nasty ... i FELT they were like maybe (To _Me_, now), like nasty notes ... that's just the way it made me feel
... well, let me rephrase ... ... how could i let anyone think i would ever accuse them of something they actually did to me and my friends? ... so, i'm sorry ... let's try the this:
I once upon a time I received some extemely, EXTREMELY Unsupportive missives that made me feel like someone wanted me to suffer and die ... ever heard of poison pen letters? ... these made me feel like they were poison pen letters, only a million times worse ... ... it was almost as if someone exercised deliberate malice aforethought to create prose to exact as much emotional damage and pain as possible through writing ... it was as if my suffering and my dying were specified ... at least that's the way it made me feel ... but, you know, that's just me ... ... i'm just a sucker for those word things and there meanings and somehow when someone uses those very words, Somehow it just makes me feel like they mean me harm ... ... but that's just because that's what they wrote ... ... many times ... i'm so silly because once would have been enough, but after several, i still felt the same way ... actually it made me feel even more threatened and hated after a while ... odd i would take it that way, though ... but you know i just that kind of guy ... ...
... and i am crazy enough to want to share this with some of my friends who have endured the exact same thing .... i want to give them my support because they are hurting too ....
thanks for listening ... it's 3:59 a.m.
carry on,
~ jimp.s. some of this could get posted at admin ...
some of it could get me canned ...
now i'm hungry for ('bina's?) dog's moist food ...
Nurse! ... more lexapro over here ! .. ... and keep 'em coming!
just starting to rain some here in austin, texas ...
~ j
poster:lil' jimi
thread:266607
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20031002/msgs/267162.html