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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 9 of 9. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Penny on September 5, 2003, at 11:36:58
I'm sorry - I just have no where else to scream at the moment!!!
Just talked to my grandmother over lunch (MY grandmother) and my roommate had just called her. In the course of conversation, my roommate told her that she wishes I had told her sooner that I wouldn't be able to take a trip with her to Orlando in October b/c she cancelled a trip with her Mom to Bermuda for the same time so we could take our Orlando trip...
Excuse me???
This was the first time I heard ANYTHING about her planning a trip to Bermuda in October - last I heard, she was planning to go sometime in December, or maybe that was to the Bahamas? I don't know anymore.
However, I told her LAST MONTH that I wouldn't be able to take a trip to Orlando - a trip that we hadn't even settled on the dates for (we were saying end of October), hadn't made any reservations for, hadn't purchased anything for, etc. How much earlier should/could I have told her? At one point I thought I would be able to go, but my expenses are just too much - I can't afford it.
But what really really gets me is that ONCE AGAIN it's MY fault that she's not going not just to Orlando but also to Bermuda!!!! MY FAULT.
How is EVERYTHING always my fault with her???
Oh - and she also felt a need to remind me via email today that our 30-day notice needs to be given to the apartment office 'soon.' I am a college grad, folks, I think I can figure out how much time I have to give a 30-day notice for the end of October/beginning of November. It's only September 5! I don't have to be reminded of these things!!!!! I'm not 2 years old!!!!
>:-<
(screaming internally, as I am at work!!!!!!!)
Sorry. I just have to get these things out.
P
Posted by fallsfall on September 5, 2003, at 11:43:44
In reply to just spouting off again..., posted by Penny on September 5, 2003, at 11:36:58
Pat Pat Pat Pat Pat
Scream all you want. Get it all out. That's good.
The roommate is a piece of work. Why is she calling your grandmother??? This is not your fault. You did everything right. You are a responsible adult. Your roommate needs a reality check.
You have said before that these are her problems, not your problems. You are right.
So say sympathetically to her "Yes, dear. Yes, dear." and then know that she's the one with the problem.
You have tried so hard to make it so the two of you could live in the same world. But she doesn't. She lives somewhere else (and soon will physically live somewhere else, too).
I think avoidance might be a good tact for the next couple of months. Just remember that you really are OK.
Wanna scream some more?
Posted by Penny on September 5, 2003, at 12:01:10
In reply to Re: just spouting off again... » Penny, posted by fallsfall on September 5, 2003, at 11:43:44
Yeah, my grandmother said she felt like my roommate was calling her just to stir things up. My roommate said she was calling to tell her to have a good time on her trip (my grandmother is leaving on a trip next week) and to tell her that 'no matter what happens' she would stay in touch.
"No matter what happens" Ha.
Did I mention the iron thing? She's been leaving the iron plugged in after using it in the morning. The iron sits on the headboard/hutch of the guest bed, which is in the same room that most of the cat's things are in. I rarely, if ever, use the iron. So, last weekend, I heard something fall, and kitty had knocked the iron over onto the floor. It landed on the button and turned on. Yes, it's an automatic shut off, but in the time that it got hot and landed on the floor, it could still start a fire. Fortunately, I was home. I left her a note about it and I'm going to check when I get home whether she is actually unplugging the iron. The last time I said anything about fire in our apartment, her response was "Well, I have renter's insurance." My answer to that: I don't care about my STUFF, I care about my DOGS. And if something happens to my dogs as a result of her negligence, she might better go into hiding, b/c I would go absolutely wacko-crazy.
I'm assuming she's been unplugging the iron this week. I'll find out for sure when I get home. And it's just plain sad that I feel I have to second-guess everything when it comes to her.
ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted by Chicklet on September 5, 2003, at 12:08:25
In reply to Re: just spouting off again... » Penny, posted by fallsfall on September 5, 2003, at 11:43:44
Penny- Fallsfall is right on.
I don't know if you remember but I told you about a friend of mine that was so much like your roomie that i'm starting to wonder if they're related. We didn't live together tho.
I finally got so mad at her passive-agression adn "woe-is-me-that-the-world-treats-me-so-unfairly-when-i-treat-everyone-so thoughtfully" attitude that I just blew up. We had a misunderstanding and she clammed up and cried and blamed me for all of my terrible character flaws and callousness. After attempting to reason with her- and even trying to hug her to say that it was a misunderstanding (not an apology though, because it wasn't my fault) she just stared straight ahead and wept. "This is why I don't share my feelings with anyone, because they always yell at me..."...then she compared me to some "people in her past" that have made her feel bad. That was absolutely it. i'm a good person and a good friend and this was just bullshit. I ended up saying ___ off and that was it. I've tried for years to cater to her little insecurities (and you know that's what it comes down to- it's just manifesting itself in a particularly ugly way)...now we dont talk or write or anything. and while I still miss her company a bit, i don't miss the energy sap and the high maintenance and the listening to her tell me how 'everyone else' si so mean to her. Espevially when she "tried so hard to be nice and generous to them"...!!!She'll be out soon. My advice is to put on your imaginary suit of armor. Answer her respectfully but indifferently and don't let yourself be sucked in by her manipulative behavior. This is IT. it's adding stress to your life that you just don't need. Especially from a 'friend'. it'll be fine. just take a deep breath and ride it out.
K
Posted by fallsfall on September 5, 2003, at 12:09:57
In reply to Re: thanks! » fallsfall, posted by Penny on September 5, 2003, at 12:01:10
Posted by Penny on September 5, 2003, at 16:45:54
In reply to just spouting off again..., posted by Penny on September 5, 2003, at 11:36:58
Okay - I just posted a longer message, but for some reason have lost it, so here's the condensed version (which I'm sure you're probably thankful for anyway!!!)
I finally have some GOOD news. I talked to the leasing agent in the apartment office here where I live, and they have a one-bedroom open downstairs from me in my building that they're going to make me a good deal on!!! Comes with a washer and dryer too, which is sweet. The best parts: I don't have to pay a transfer fee, I can move whenever I want to (well, after they get the apartment ready, but that won't take long), I don't have to pay any additional fees - no lease termination, no new pet fees, no new security deposits, nothing! I can just move, just downstairs.
I felt soooo much better after finding all of that out I didn't know what to do! It will cost me a *little* more than what I'm paying now, but, hey, that's a small price to pay for living alone.
YAYYYYY!!!
:-))
Thanks for listening to me gripe about this - and for cheering me on!
P
Posted by Gabbix2 on September 5, 2003, at 17:15:42
In reply to Re: Woo Hoo!!!, posted by Penny on September 5, 2003, at 16:45:54
Awesome!
What a relief! That is fabulous Penny, worrying about housing is crazy-making when you're already prone to anxiety.And as for your "griping" Whatever the topic I've find what you have to say particularly interesting and insightful, not to worry.
Posted by fallsfall on September 5, 2003, at 17:52:19
In reply to Re: Woo Hoo!!!, posted by Penny on September 5, 2003, at 16:45:54
Posted by Tabitha on September 6, 2003, at 19:31:13
In reply to Re: Woo Hoo!!!, posted by Penny on September 5, 2003, at 16:45:54
This is the end of the thread.
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