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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 13 of 13. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Penny on July 14, 2003, at 10:58:02
Talked to my boss this morning and he was pretty understanding. I was in tears most of the time. He said he will try to work through this with me, which is good.
Slept most of last night but still woke up a couple of times, though only briefly, and could barely drag myself out of bed this morning. Today I'm really tired. Going to go get some lunch in a few and trying to get my newsletter to the printer today, which will be a relief I think.
Ready to see my therapist tonight (4:30) and hoping she can help me figure some things out then. Depending on what she says, I may or may not decide to have a hospital visit. At the least, I think I need a little time off. I'm just so tired.
So, it's another day. Hope all of you are hangin' in, and hoping that life for all of us will improve.
P
Posted by giget on July 14, 2003, at 11:10:30
In reply to Well..., posted by Penny on July 14, 2003, at 10:58:02
Well it seems like you are getting everything under control. Really listen to the therapist and make a mutial decision about the hospital.
I have never gone to one, but I should have multiple times. My most recent breakdown I did look up the number though. I just could not walk in and be so vonerable, but that is part of my personality. I never had anyone bring the subject up to me about going in, so I did not know if people would back my decision.
It sounds like it could help you. So really think about it.
Posted by fallsfall on July 14, 2003, at 12:40:08
In reply to Well..., posted by Penny on July 14, 2003, at 10:58:02
Penny,
I'm so glad the talk with your boss went well. An understanding boss can make a really big difference. Don't worry about the tears - they lend credibility to what you say. I'm so glad that the discussion with him didn't add more stress.
4:30. 3 hours from now for me.
You have done a really good job getting through this. You used Babble for support (Did you talk to any real people, too?). You called your pdoc. You faced your boss. I'm quite impressed.
(If you go straight to the hospital from your therapist's office, how will we know you went in?)
Posted by yesac on July 14, 2003, at 12:40:44
In reply to Re: Well... » Penny, posted by giget on July 14, 2003, at 11:10:30
You said that you've never gone to a hospital, but above you were telling me about surviving your suicide attempts. Did you not need to go after those, or do you mean you've never gone voluntarily?
I totally know what you mean about walking in and being vulnerable. That's probably the main reason I've never gone even though I probably really should have at times. That, and the fear of my family and others finding out and realizing how screwed up I really am. But I am just not sure that I ever could bring myself to go in voluntarily, even though I know it's better that way. I just don't know if I could make the decision that things really were that bad. I'm afraid of the disruption to my life, too.
Posted by Penny on July 14, 2003, at 13:56:09
In reply to Re: Well... » Penny, posted by fallsfall on July 14, 2003, at 12:40:08
> (If you go straight to the hospital from your therapist's office, how will we know you went in?)I'm sure I would get word to yesac, who could keep you all updated...
Also, if you don't hear from me for a few days, you can probably assume I'm unavailable. But don't assume I've done anything crazy. I'm really trying to avoid that scenario.
Thanks, dear.
P
Posted by giget on July 14, 2003, at 14:09:35
In reply to giget - a question, posted by yesac on July 14, 2003, at 12:40:44
Yesac,
Yes I talked of making it through the attempts, but other than here, one person and my therapist I do not talk about it. My famliy does not know and that is how it will stay. It is not something that comes up in conversation usually.I did not go to the hospital after the attempt, I just dealt with the pain I put my body through. I have a very bad anitbody system so I catch alot of stuff quickly. I played it off as that. My emotions and body shows problems all the time. It was just to much to deal with, being alive, cleaning up my mess, and then telling people, no way.
I think that people who need to go there will eventually, it was just not my time yet.
> You said that you've never gone to a hospital, but above you were telling me about surviving your suicide attempts. Did you not need to go after those, or do you mean you've never gone voluntarily?
>
> I totally know what you mean about walking in and being vulnerable. That's probably the main reason I've never gone even though I probably really should have at times. That, and the fear of my family and others finding out and realizing how screwed up I really am. But I am just not sure that I ever could bring myself to go in voluntarily, even though I know it's better that way. I just don't know if I could make the decision that things really were that bad. I'm afraid of the disruption to my life, too.
Posted by fallsfall on July 14, 2003, at 15:40:55
In reply to Re: Well... » fallsfall, posted by Penny on July 14, 2003, at 13:56:09
Good. We'll count on yesac.
I'm really glad that you aren't interested in doing crazy.
Peace.
Posted by Penny on July 14, 2003, at 17:34:19
In reply to Re: Well... » Penny, posted by fallsfall on July 14, 2003, at 15:40:55
Still here. Seeing my therapist twice (or more) a week for a little while. She was very helpful. Was honest with her about my thoughts and we talked about red flags I should look for in evaluating the seriousness of my suicidal ideations, the level of emergency, so to speak. She also gave me her home number and cell number in case I need to get in touch with her so we can arrange a time to meet. Not that I would ever (probably) use it. I am too afraid of overstepping my boundaries.
I'm so glad she's back in town, though.
And I am feeling a bit better right now. Thank goodness. A bit of relief.
P
Posted by Dinah on July 14, 2003, at 17:37:56
In reply to Re: Well... » fallsfall, posted by Penny on July 14, 2003, at 17:34:19
That sounds great, Penny. I find seeing my therapist more often helps a lot. It doesn't seem so impossible to hold on for a few days, while a week seems like forever.
Posted by Penny on July 14, 2003, at 17:41:44
In reply to Re: Well... » Penny, posted by Dinah on July 14, 2003, at 17:37:56
My former therapist didn't meet with me more than once a week. It was just something she didn't do, I don't know why. I'm so glad my current therapist will work with me on this. Not that I really have the money, but you have to do what you have to do, right?
Posted by Dinah on July 14, 2003, at 17:50:29
In reply to Re: Well... » Dinah, posted by Penny on July 14, 2003, at 17:41:44
Yes, that's true. When I was commenting once to my therapist that I couldn't afford to come in twice a week, he asked me if I thought I could continue to work the same number of hours if I didn't come in, or if I thought I might have to be hospitalized. At the time I was in pretty bad shape, and the answer was that the therapy was cheaper than the alternatives.
I'm not sure about now, and would like to go back to once a week. But the simple fact is that I'm way more stable emotionally on twice a week therapy. I dunno.
I know there are therapists who are big on boundaries and not fostering dependence, and I understand it theoretically. But I prefer a therapist who is flexible and in tune with the needs of the client.
Posted by fallsfall on July 14, 2003, at 23:36:42
In reply to Re: Well... » Penny, posted by fallsfall on July 14, 2003, at 12:40:08
Wow. You had a good day. I'm so glad - you deserve it.
Posted by fallsfall on July 15, 2003, at 10:20:11
In reply to Re: Well... » fallsfall, posted by fallsfall on July 14, 2003, at 23:36:42
This is the end of the thread.
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