![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 7 to 31 of 31. Go back in thread:
Posted by justyourlaugh on April 2, 2003, at 18:22:27
In reply to Re: Anyone want to talk about one year post suicide? » ~Alii~, posted by Dinah on April 2, 2003, at 8:05:30
i wasnt going to post because i never knew her..
but i see her in all of you..you hold her alive..d..you matter so much more to people than you realize....you cant see it tonight, but mabe tomorrow..."where the hell did i put those tomorrow pills anyway?"...
you guys have a lot of love and compasion..
anyone would be blessed to know you too..
peace
jyl
Posted by Dinah on April 2, 2003, at 20:54:04
In reply to Re: Anyone want to talk about one year post suicide? » Dinah, posted by justyourlaugh on April 2, 2003, at 18:22:27
I think you would have really liked sar, jyl. She was so funny and irreverant. I sometimes wonder what she's thinking of all we say about her.
I didn't get to know her as well as a lot of people here though. I mainly knew her through her posts. I was still relatively new here, I think, when she was posting most frequently.
Posted by shar on April 2, 2003, at 21:59:48
In reply to Anyone want to talk about one year post suicide?, posted by ~Alii~ on April 2, 2003, at 0:43:33
Alii,
I could not add anything of substance to your beautiful and warm sentiments.I miss her, too, and it is sad (in some ways) that she isn't here with us.
Shar
Posted by ~Alii~ on April 2, 2003, at 23:05:23
In reply to Re: Anyone want to talk about one year post suicide? » ~Alii~, posted by shar on April 2, 2003, at 21:59:48
Posted by paxvox on April 4, 2003, at 21:16:35
In reply to Re: Anyone want to talk about one year post suicide?, posted by mair on April 2, 2003, at 12:21:15
Mair,
Such a well-written and heart-felt remembrance of Sar. It reflects many of the problems we all have. A "key stroke away" from a thousand miles. Who really "knows" anyone here THAT well? Even those that we email separately, we try to help when we can (I thank those who talk to me, and you know who you are :} ).
But what could ANY of us have really done? I can't even help my own family members who live in my house. That's one of the things that I am trying to learn, I can't fix other people no matter how badly I want to or how hard I try. People can only "fix" themselves when they choose to be fixed. We can offer help, suggestions,motivation, support whatever. Ultimately though, we cannot live their lives or prevent their deaths.
Do we feel responsible? Sure. Do we wish we COULD have reached out and been that ONE person, who said the right words at the right time? Of course. Is it realistic to think we COULD have? No.
Is there a lesson to be learned? Probably. How many of "us" have "disappeared" from these forumns? How much do the rest of us worry? Just like a week or so ago when I asked if Susan C. was lurking about. I REALLY MISSED HER! (she said hello) We used to have some great posts here (Cam, and others, you know who you are, cause you may still be lurking here as well). The lesson I see is that we shouldn't let ourselves disappear. Sure, it's healthy to take a break sometimes, and true, some of us have issues with the administration of this board (no offense intended Dr. B.). But can't we rise above that? I have been on a least three other expat boards where there has been some effort to create an alternative where no holds are barred. Unfortunately, only a few of us participate,and most of us eventually return here, if only to lurk silently. So, why don't we use this "anniversary" of one person's passing to become the start of a truly supportive board. Call me crazy, but it wasn't all that long ago when THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT WE DID HERE!
I don't want to read about another death (or you to read about mine). Anyone out there?
PAXVOX
Posted by Dinah on April 4, 2003, at 21:47:39
In reply to Re: Anyone want to talk about one year post suicide?, posted by paxvox on April 4, 2003, at 21:16:35
> So, why don't we use this "anniversary" of one person's passing to become the start of a truly supportive board. Call me crazy, but it wasn't all that long ago when THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT WE DID HERE!
>Are you talking to the other ex-pats? Or to everyone? Because, Pax, that's what we continued to do when you all left. New faces, new names, new friends. :) But lots of support whenever I needed it, and I hope others as well. I don't know how much more supportive you can get than... Well I can't start naming names or I'd never finish. Suffice it to say the people with less time since they started posting than I have.
Not that we wouldn't be delighted to see all of you back. There are so many that I miss. Remember akc? And Penny (that may have been after your time)? And Kiddo? I really miss Kiddo.
And even some relatively new names seem to be missing, and I miss them.
But maybe that's the nature of this board, to some extent.... Nostalgia for those friends who have moved on from the board. Welcoming the new friends. Hopefully not too much grieving...
Posted by ~Alii~ on April 4, 2003, at 23:07:39
In reply to Re: Anyone want to talk about one year post suicide?, posted by paxvox on April 4, 2003, at 21:16:35
>>Anyone out there?<<
Pax,
I am WAY out there if you catch my drift....
Very astute observations of Internet friendships/connections and personal dynamics. You've been doing your therapy haven't ya? ;)
I wish this board could return to a freer state but then again I wish my civil liberties weren't being ripped to shreds by my "elected" government.
I feel stifled here and there are direct words from Dr. Bob that not all 'voices' would be welcome here which troubles me when you start tweaking with the research population (us).
I miss many names on the board as I have been a lurker from the git go and have watched so many names transform from one to another and people pass in and out on their ups and downs. Some have remained for the duration while others have been scared off by the PBC tone of eggshell walking.
I wish support could be summed up easily but it differs for all of us. A good stern talking to might be just what one needs when another needs coddling and hand holding and reassurances while in their constantly fragile state. So we are apples and oranges. How do we find that middle ground? That balance?
What an odd question to pose to a group of people with mental illnesses and mood disorders. Hah! I find it amusing. Balance. As if we're the experts on that?!
Ok....I'm a bit wound up so I'll wind this up and say that I miss what was once but eagerly look for alternatives to this less than appealing change of PB from the past. But being the past I let it go and just look for signs of hope here while waiting for someone to put together enough bandwidth and a small server to host a little party of the free thinkers who like to toss around coarse language and cultural differences liberally. Pepper their posts with, gasp, cursing! And political thought! And differences of opinions that could be worked through instead of the two year old temper tantrums that have happened on some of the board of which you speak. [self included in temper tantrum stomping off deleting all traces type of behaviour]
Have I gone on enough?
xox
~a.
Posted by ~Alii~ on April 4, 2003, at 23:37:50
In reply to Re: Anyone want to talk about one year post suicide?, posted by paxvox on April 4, 2003, at 21:16:35
Posted by Dinah on April 5, 2003, at 0:59:14
In reply to Re: Anyone want to talk about one year post suicide? » paxvox, posted by ~Alii~ on April 4, 2003, at 23:07:39
Alii, I think I got from your post that you are complaining about the management and not the company? If I read that correctly I thank you.
I always feel a bit hurt when old timers decry the current state of the board. I know I know. You probably think I'm being oversensitive. And I suppose I am an eggshell person. It's not really that I take it personally to myself.
But I like the people here now. Just as I liked the people who have left. I think they're supportive and kind and funny. And it makes me feel bad when the board now is compared unfavorably to the past. Because the posters are the board, and I wouldn't wish to see my new friends insulted any more than I would wish to see my old friends insulted.
And if the board now is poorer for the absence of some previous posters, the old board was equally poorer for the lack of some of the current posters.
So if I read your post correctly, I appreciate the distinction that it's Dr. Bob you're complaining about. Not that I wish to see Dr. Bob insulted either, but I guess that's part of his duties.
Posted by ~Alii~ on April 5, 2003, at 1:18:21
In reply to Re: Anyone want to talk about one year post suicide? » ~Alii~, posted by Dinah on April 5, 2003, at 0:59:14
Posted by Dinah on April 5, 2003, at 1:38:30
In reply to You know my beef is w/mgmt not posters sweetie (nm) » Dinah, posted by ~Alii~ on April 5, 2003, at 1:18:21
And don't forget to keep us posted on your tests. (And your really terrific weekend.)
Posted by OddipusRex on April 5, 2003, at 11:01:52
In reply to Re: Anyone want to talk about one year post suicide? » paxvox, posted by ~Alii~ on April 4, 2003, at 23:07:39
Alli could you give me an approximate date when the board was in the state you would like it returned to?
It's been fascinating watching the changes on Babble.
>
> I wish this board could return to a freer state
>
Posted by paxvox on April 5, 2003, at 20:17:22
In reply to The Golden Age of Babble » ~Alii~, posted by OddipusRex on April 5, 2003, at 11:01:52
I can answer that one for you. I think I made my first post in early 2000. I think 2000-01 was a "pretty good year" for these boards. Soon thereafter, however, a few individual personalities began to adversely affect the flow by "baiting" others into mindless diatribe. This led to most of "us" (read: Expats) to get booted, because we weren't playing nice. Some of us would do our time, then come back. Others, after several bootings, took the hint that this was not a place of objectivity. There were some "great minds" that no longer post here, who had some great information that was useful to many of us. in essence, they (like eventually me) were chased off out of frustration. Will that "golden age" return? No. Can the current board change? probably not, as the dynamics have morphed. Can the Expats return? Well, some of us have until we get booted again. Let's just say things were more of a community then. I don't "know" any of these people here now, so how can I be of much use? So, I'll just chip in when I think I can make a point, but it will never be the same.
PAX
Posted by Dinah on April 5, 2003, at 20:38:55
In reply to Re: The Golden Age of Babble, posted by paxvox on April 5, 2003, at 20:17:22
Your choice of course....
But there are alternatives.
Posted by OddipusRex on April 5, 2003, at 21:49:49
In reply to Re: The Golden Age of Babble, posted by paxvox on April 5, 2003, at 20:17:22
I think there are posts pre-2000 yearning for the old days too. I guess it's natural for people to become attached to the particular group they first bonded with. And to resist change.
My guess is that for most people the good old days would be the ones in which they were most active or when they began posting.
I'd say the board can't NOT change. But I agree that it can't go back to what it once was.
Thanks for giving your viewpoint.
> I can answer that one for you. I think I made my first post in early 2000. I think 2000-01 was a "pretty good year" for these boards. Soon thereafter, however, a few individual personalities began to adversely affect the flow by "baiting" others into mindless diatribe. This led to most of "us" (read: Expats) to get booted, because we weren't playing nice. Some of us would do our time, then come back. Others, after several bootings, took the hint that this was not a place of objectivity. There were some "great minds" that no longer post here, who had some great information that was useful to many of us. in essence, they (like eventually me) were chased off out of frustration. Will that "golden age" return? No. Can the current board change? probably not, as the dynamics have morphed. Can the Expats return? Well, some of us have until we get booted again. Let's just say things were more of a community then. I don't "know" any of these people here now, so how can I be of much use? So, I'll just chip in when I think I can make a point, but it will never be the same.
>
>
> PAX
Posted by shar on April 5, 2003, at 22:41:01
In reply to Re: The Golden Age of Babble, posted by paxvox on April 5, 2003, at 20:17:22
Yes, I agree, it was quite different then. And, my favorite period. That was back before the admin and social boards were added (the period I'm thinking of). But, the addition of PSB seems to have worked out pretty well.
I guess the important thing is as you said, to jump in whenever one feels one can add something of value.
Shar
Posted by paxvox on April 6, 2003, at 18:05:47
In reply to Re: The Golden Age of Babble, posted by Dinah on April 5, 2003, at 20:38:55
OK, thanks, Dinah for the double entendre.
Posted by Dinah on April 6, 2003, at 18:31:35
In reply to Re: The Golden Age of Babble, posted by paxvox on April 6, 2003, at 18:05:47
I assure you that it was a single entendre.
Darn, did I miss an unintentional well crafted bit of humor? Please don't leave me hanging.
All I meant was that it was your choice to not participate more fully in the boards as they are now. And that there are alternatives.... Oh I get it. You thought I meant there are alternative boards??????? Boy, you don't know me very well. Wouldn't you like to get to know me better so that you wouldn't so mistake my meaning?
All I meant was that there were alternatives to feeling out of place. Namely jumping in with both feet and getting to know the really great group of posters we have now.
Really. If you got to know me better, you would realize that I usually mean very literally what I say.
Chuckle. If I meant to say there were other boards, I would have said so. And sent you a URL to boot.
Posted by Dinah on April 6, 2003, at 18:34:43
In reply to Re: The Golden Age of Babble » paxvox, posted by Dinah on April 6, 2003, at 18:31:35
I suppose I also meant to convey some sadness that that was your choice. I know many posters who hold you in high esteem, and was hoping you would make the choice to enjoy this board.
Posted by Dinah on April 6, 2003, at 18:35:24
In reply to Re: The Golden Age of Babble P.S. » Dinah, posted by Dinah on April 6, 2003, at 18:34:43
Posted by ~Alii~ on April 7, 2003, at 11:50:22
In reply to Re: Thanks, Alii. :), posted by Dinah on April 5, 2003, at 1:38:30
> And don't forget to keep us posted on your tests. (And your really terrific weekend.)
Oh DM it was heavenly. Weather was fab. Indoor ceremony in one of the CA missions (since she went to law school there she was married by one of her contract law profs. since they are all jesuit (sp?) priests = ) ) and the candles and paintings and the whole ambiance was casual and formal and delightful. It was a Catholic ceremony but so modern and short! I was surprised. The two flower girls were the most amazingly dolled up little angels (one was stepdaughter and other neice) with their dresses little versions of the bride's wedding dress. Such angels.
The reception was nice. I was very very tired and having a hard time keeping my energy up but ran into entire old crowd of friends I worked with almost ten years ago and got to see their baby photos, etc. Sigh. Was nice though.
And the outfits that my escort and I wore were so swanky. I was truly stunning in this beaded sequined wow I wore and my friend looked so nice in his fine threads.
Good time all in all. Except now there are a whole 'nother bunch of people freaked about my health since they were all commenting on my difference since the last time they had seen me (some just within the past several months). So there is now that drag.
I'm beginning to think I'm going to have to set up a website with my test results just to keep everyone updated now with all the damn phone calls I'm getting!
But don't worry.......I will let you know once I know something. For now all I know is that I'm tired and have to scoot off to work.
Thanks for asking about wknd. It really was fantasy like and fun and casual and just a nice time.
~A.
Posted by Dinah on April 7, 2003, at 21:37:25
In reply to aside--really terrific wknd » Dinah, posted by ~Alii~ on April 7, 2003, at 11:50:22
Sounds wonderful, Alii. I'm glad you were able to put aside your other concerns and let yourself enjoy life thoroughly. I can't recall my last abandoned enjoyment. :)
Posted by ~Alii~ on April 8, 2003, at 0:18:30
In reply to The Golden Age of Babble » ~Alii~, posted by OddipusRex on April 5, 2003, at 11:01:52
>> Alli could you give me an approximate date when the board was in the state you would like it returned to?
It's been fascinating watching the changes on Babble.<<>>> I wish this board could return to a freer state <<<--alii
OddipusRex,I do not think of babble as having had a golden age that was and now has been lost but without doing exhaustive archive searches to bring up the specifics of what I mean about tone change and moderator/administration change it is hard to explain. I've been a lurker since the beginning and I agree the changes have been 'fascinating' to watch but fascinating suggests that this board is like some sort of soap opera or daily that one comes to to follow the lives of the players. I find it more inspirational to follow the stories of those who have struggled against depression 8+ years. Ten years. Twenty years. And they're still here trying meds and talking about the shit they're going through but unable to do so in the fashion they might have been able to do about when Pax suggested mebeeeee 2000ish....not sure.
Like I said without exhaustive search for specifics I cannot adequately answer your question nor do I really think of a golden age.
I miss many who no longer post due to board moderation/(mis)administration or rules or for whatever reason they don't post anymore. I find the barage of new names overwhelming and the same questions being answered again and again without people searching the archives frustrating but I am but a user of this board. I have many frustrations. ;)
Namaste OR.
~Alii
Posted by OddipusRex on April 8, 2003, at 8:36:51
In reply to I think of no 'golden age' of babble dear » OddipusRex, posted by ~Alii~ on April 8, 2003, at 0:18:30
Thanks for your reply. The Med board seems so different now. At one time there was a lot of posts about antidepressant cocktails and augmenting and tweaking and discussions of neurotransmitters and ordering your own meds from overseas. People who said bad things about antidepressants were in danger of being accused of being scientologists! Alternative therapies were dismissed and woe to anyone who mentioned Breggin or Glenmullen! There's a wider range of opinion there now but I kind of miss that old spirit and the enthusiasm for a chemical cure. I think maybe it's because there haven't been any new ADs in such a long time or maybe it's just my personal enthusiasm flagging. Or maybe it was all those people trying to get off effexor that put a crimp on things. I just know when I came back to PB to get myself revved up to give ADs another try everyone was talking about fish oil! I stuck with fish oil myself and I'm glad I did. Those are just personal impressions I haven't read that board much lately. (And I constantly feel like I have to qualify everything so someone won't take offense) Still...And it is hard to keep track of anyone over time because the board moves faster.
Even though some people may have left because of administrative policies, I think there is a wider range of opinion and people too. I think all the PBCs do protect some unpopular posters from being run off by dominant posters. And I don't think that's always bad. But I feel the administrative ax hanging over my head all the time too so it also has kind of a stifling effect.
And speaking of feeling like I always have to qualify things :) I hesitated about using the word fascination for just the reason you mentioned. I was thinking of PB like a single organism changing and twisting and reforming. I didn't mean a Babbler Soap Opera to amuse myself.
I like the people here now. I think they're pretty Golden for the most part.
I don't know why I even asked. I think too much. Thanks for answering.
> I do not think of babble as having had a golden age that was and now has been lost but without doing exhaustive archive searches to bring up the specifics of what I mean about tone change and moderator/administration change it is hard to explain. I've been a lurker since the beginning and I agree the changes have been 'fascinating' to watch but fascinating suggests that this board is like some sort of soap opera or daily that one comes to to follow the lives of the players. I find it more inspirational to follow the stories of those who have struggled against depression 8+ years. Ten years. Twenty years. And they're still here trying meds and talking about the shit they're going through but unable to do so in the fashion they might have been able to do about when Pax suggested mebeeeee 2000ish....not sure.
>
> Like I said without exhaustive search for specifics I cannot adequately answer your question nor do I really think of a golden age.
>
> I miss many who no longer post due to board moderation/(mis)administration or rules or for whatever reason they don't post anymore. I find the barage of new names overwhelming and the same questions being answered again and again without people searching the archives frustrating but I am but a user of this board. I have many frustrations. ;)
>
> Namaste OR.
>
> ~Alii
>
>
Posted by ~Alii~ on April 8, 2003, at 9:49:50
In reply to Only Golden Babblers dear » ~Alii~, posted by OddipusRex on April 8, 2003, at 8:36:51
Oh OddRex,
I did not mean the implication of you watching a soap opera but the broader implications of all of us being like the ants in an ant farm on view for the world.
No ill will sent with my previous message and like you I dislike having to qualify my words a lot of the time as well. I hear ya there!
~Alii
>>>And speaking of feeling like I always have to qualify things :) I hesitated about using the word fascination for just the reason you mentioned. I was thinking of PB like a single organism changing and twisting and reforming. I didn't mean a Babbler Soap Opera to amuse myself.<<<--OddipusRex
This is the end of the thread.
Psycho-Babble Social | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.