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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 11 of 11. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by daizy on December 17, 2002, at 12:39:12
Does this ever end, depression, anxiety? Im loosing hope. Dont think I can learn to live with it............
Posted by Mr Cushing on December 17, 2002, at 12:52:54
In reply to Loosing hope, posted by daizy on December 17, 2002, at 12:39:12
Yes it does end if you're taking the right measures to make it end. I'm Bi-Polar (you know, like with the crazy highs and lows) with mixed episodes (meaning that I can actually be cycling through both at once... or at least it feels that way).I lived life like that for about 10 years or so. It was either dead depression or so manic that everything seemed to be going on fast-forward, like in double speed. My thoughts, the way I talked, the way I moved, everything... the rest of the world though, they seemed to be going in slo-mo. I learned to survive on about 3-4 hours of sleep a night for a very long time. Like months...
Right now I'm on 500mg of Depakote, 20mg of Celexa, and 1-1.5mg of Klonopin a day. I no longer feel any side effects from the medications I'm taking, and honestly, this is the first time in as long as I can remember where I actually feel "good". But it doesn't just lie with the medications, after they start taking effect you have to learn to change your lifestyle and the way that you view certain things. But medication is basically the first step, and you "might" have to learn to accept the fact that you're going to need it long-term. For me, I'm going to need it for the rest of my life, but you know... I really don't mind that idea anymore. I feel so in control of myself for once, it's like the roller-coaster has stopped and I was able to get off. For everything good in life you have to sacrifice something, and if it means that i have to take pills in order to feel like this, then Hell Yeah, I've got no problems doing this for the rest of my life. Honestly, I can't imagine going back to trying to survive without it. What a mess I would have eventually made out of my life...
So don't give up hope, if I can survive for 10 years like that and I can get better, then there's no reason why you can't. You just have to learn to fight it.
Posted by Phil on December 17, 2002, at 12:53:38
In reply to Loosing hope, posted by daizy on December 17, 2002, at 12:39:12
Daizy, can you give us more information. Are you on meds, how long depressed, what hurts right now or is it just a numb feeling.
Are you in therapy? Have you tried different AD's?
There are a lot of hopeless sounding post during the holidays but nobody is a hopeless case.Let us know and be nice to yourself...
Phil
Posted by daizy on December 17, 2002, at 13:11:55
In reply to Re: Loosing hope, posted by Phil on December 17, 2002, at 12:53:38
SOOOO much confusing stuff. i'll do a simple diagram!
1)Palputations, caused;
2)panic attacks, caused;
3)depression & anxiety;
4)effexor, caused;
5)palputations& severe depression.
6)just off effexor, and suffering pannic attacks still.Iwent for therapy today and left feeling great, then went to doc's and had a panic attack, really bad so i got up and walked out half way through. Im uncomfortable with him, wanted to tell him i need something, something to get me through this shit. Its cause ive been there too many times, 15 or with exact same shit, and nothing changes, seen specialists and no one seems to be able to help. except it gets worse and worse. Im getting paranoid about what he thinks about me, am doubting myself and i thought talking on here would be a good idea, people helping, but now am paranoid who will see it, and what ive been writing about so openly, just for anyone to read, My life and feelings................
Posted by Jaynee on December 17, 2002, at 13:46:56
In reply to Re: Loosing hope, posted by daizy on December 17, 2002, at 13:11:55
Hi Daizy: I've been there and it feels like hell. But remember this time too shall pass. Palpitations, won't kill you, so try not to worry about that. When you are in a state of anxiety, every little bodily sensation upsets you, you contact with every thought, but most of the time it is nothing to worry about, you are just being hypervigilant. I found I would contact with my thoughts and get really upset with them when I was anxious, but when I am not anxious, I still have stupid thoughts, but that is exactly how I treat them, and my body doesn't react to them. Try to disconnect from your thoughts, it can be done. How I did it was when I would get a weird thought in my head and my body would start to react, palpitation, anxiety, panic, etc, I would just let my body go limp and let the panic take over. Once I stopped fighting it and just let it rock and roll, it would go away. It is simply fear of fear.
Make sure you do your abdominal breathing and remember the panic won't kill you, and once you are no longer afraid of it, it goes away. Acceptance is the key.
As for the doc, doctors really can't help you as much as you can help yourself. They can prescribe meds, but from my experience that is about all. Try to get to a support group. There is a good book called "The Feeling Good Handbook". You have to talk to yourself like you would a best friend. You would never tell a friend what you tell yourself, for example what would you tell a friend if she told you she was worried about what a doctor thought of her?
There are many drugs out there that can help. You've only tried Effexor. I refused to go on Effexor, because my sister tried it and she said it made her feel like she was on LSD. Yet I have a girlfriend who swears by it, it has been a life saver for her. I tried Celexa. At first it caused really bad anxiety, but I offset that by Ativan. Within about 2 weeks I started to feel better, and didn't need the Ativan. But you have to help yourself. Meditation, proper nutrition, exercise, self-help books, making yourself participate in the things you used to enjoy, even if you don't enjoy them. I learnt how to drive, shop etc, all in the middle of a panic attack. Gradually it just went away. Once you realize it won't kill you and is just a bodily sensation that has a time limit.
Good luck.
Posted by Jaynee on December 17, 2002, at 13:50:12
In reply to Re: Loosing hope, posted by Jaynee on December 17, 2002, at 13:46:56
Sorry that should have been "connect with every thought", not contact. To much energy drink this morning, makes me too hyper to think.
Posted by Mr Cushing on December 17, 2002, at 13:58:35
In reply to Re: Loosing hope, posted by daizy on December 17, 2002, at 13:11:55
Hey Daizy, just thought I'd give you my thoughts about it. First, I have no clue what you did for your simple diagram though.For your panic attacks, honestly, find a doctor that can prescribe you benzos. I take Clonazepam myself at about .5mg tablets a day. When I was my most manic, feeling like everything was in fast forward, I was also having panic attacks like freaking crazy. Like sometimes I'd just have to lie there in the dark and shake for a few hours trying to calm myself down.
Do the heart palpatations come when you're having a panic attack? Because for me, that's how it was, I'd get really winded and my heart would be beating a mile a minute and I never could really attribute my panic attacks to anything else going wrong with my life. I had absolutely NO stress for about 3 months and was still having them on almost a daily basis.
Effexor... Any SSRIs work great for you IF you don't have an underlying mood disorder. If you have a Mood Disorder, Effexor could make it MUCH worse. You might need a Mood Stabilizer (like Depakote or Lamictal or something... only take Lithium if you HAVE to) and then use an Anti-Depressant as an add-on once you're stabilized on the MS. The MS will get rid of almost all anxiety symptoms within a few days.
If you add on a Benzo to that (for example, Clonazepam) when you're starting to feel a little bit like you're swaying in either direction, too up or too down, take it and within 45 minutes or so you'll be back at normal.
To me, from what you've described, it does sound like Bi-Polar.. We have (had) a lot of the same symptoms.
Posted by daizy on December 17, 2002, at 14:28:53
In reply to Re: Loosing hope, posted by Jaynee on December 17, 2002, at 13:46:56
> Are you fully better ow then? how long did it take for you to get some relief of the symptoms? For me every minute feels like a day and every day feels like a week..................
Hi Daizy: I've been there and it feels like hell. But remember this time too shall pass. Palpitations, won't kill you, so try not to worry about that. When you are in a state of anxiety, every little bodily sensation upsets you, you contact with every thought, but most of the time it is nothing to worry about, you are just being hypervigilant. I found I would contact with my thoughts and get really upset with them when I was anxious, but when I am not anxious, I still have stupid thoughts, but that is exactly how I treat them, and my body doesn't react to them. Try to disconnect from your thoughts, it can be done. How I did it was when I would get a weird thought in my head and my body would start to react, palpitation, anxiety, panic, etc, I would just let my body go limp and let the panic take over. Once I stopped fighting it and just let it rock and roll, it would go away. It is simply fear of fear.
>
> Make sure you do your abdominal breathing and remember the panic won't kill you, and once you are no longer afraid of it, it goes away. Acceptance is the key.
>
> As for the doc, doctors really can't help you as much as you can help yourself. They can prescribe meds, but from my experience that is about all. Try to get to a support group. There is a good book called "The Feeling Good Handbook". You have to talk to yourself like you would a best friend. You would never tell a friend what you tell yourself, for example what would you tell a friend if she told you she was worried about what a doctor thought of her?
>
> There are many drugs out there that can help. You've only tried Effexor. I refused to go on Effexor, because my sister tried it and she said it made her feel like she was on LSD. Yet I have a girlfriend who swears by it, it has been a life saver for her. I tried Celexa. At first it caused really bad anxiety, but I offset that by Ativan. Within about 2 weeks I started to feel better, and didn't need the Ativan. But you have to help yourself. Meditation, proper nutrition, exercise, self-help books, making yourself participate in the things you used to enjoy, even if you don't enjoy them. I learnt how to drive, shop etc, all in the middle of a panic attack. Gradually it just went away. Once you realize it won't kill you and is just a bodily sensation that has a time limit.
>
> Good luck.
Posted by daizy on December 17, 2002, at 14:40:45
In reply to Re: Loosing hope, posted by Mr Cushing on December 17, 2002, at 13:58:35
> My supposedly "simple" diagram just says it all really doesnt it, Nothing for me is ever simple, thats my problem. I dont want to have flash cars, a great big house, loads of money, yeah im not saying it wouldnt be nice, I just "simply" want to be happy, something i havnt been for a very long time now and its tiring me out.
if i had a "simple" illness it'd be "simple" to find a cure. Not knowing what is wrong with me is killing me, yet im powerless to do anything about it.I dont mean to put this burden on everyone else, i feel guilty, Someone has already said before that a friend does this to her with threatning suicide, and it makes her feel worse, so sorry people. Im just going to observe for a while (if i can hold myself back) Let everyone have a rest......................................
(paranoia is setting in)thanx
> Hey Daizy, just thought I'd give you my thoughts about it. First, I have no clue what you did for your simple diagram though.
>
> For your panic attacks, honestly, find a doctor that can prescribe you benzos. I take Clonazepam myself at about .5mg tablets a day. When I was my most manic, feeling like everything was in fast forward, I was also having panic attacks like freaking crazy. Like sometimes I'd just have to lie there in the dark and shake for a few hours trying to calm myself down.
>
> Do the heart palpatations come when you're having a panic attack? Because for me, that's how it was, I'd get really winded and my heart would be beating a mile a minute and I never could really attribute my panic attacks to anything else going wrong with my life. I had absolutely NO stress for about 3 months and was still having them on almost a daily basis.
>
> Effexor... Any SSRIs work great for you IF you don't have an underlying mood disorder. If you have a Mood Disorder, Effexor could make it MUCH worse. You might need a Mood Stabilizer (like Depakote or Lamictal or something... only take Lithium if you HAVE to) and then use an Anti-Depressant as an add-on once you're stabilized on the MS. The MS will get rid of almost all anxiety symptoms within a few days.
>
> If you add on a Benzo to that (for example, Clonazepam) when you're starting to feel a little bit like you're swaying in either direction, too up or too down, take it and within 45 minutes or so you'll be back at normal.
>
> To me, from what you've described, it does sound like Bi-Polar.. We have (had) a lot of the same symptoms.
>
>
>
Posted by Jaynee on December 17, 2002, at 14:47:41
In reply to Re: Loosing hope..Jaynee, posted by daizy on December 17, 2002, at 14:28:53
> Are you fully better ow then? how long did it take for you to get some relief of the symptoms? For me every minute feels like a day and every day feels like a week..................
I have not had a panic attack or anxiety attack since Dec 2001 and Jan 2002. I started Celexa in Dec and finished taking it in Aug. Panic and anxiety just aren't part of my life right now, but I know it will be back. Drugs, drugs and more drugs, that is how I will deal with it when it rears its ugly face again. I had dealt with it drug free before, and it is a tough way to go, but it can be done.
Right now I am in a funk, just a lazy funk. I thinks it is my way of dealing with stress at this point and time in my life. I have a new syndrome. It is called "Turning into Jabba the Hut" Syndrome.
Posted by Mr Cushing on December 17, 2002, at 16:02:48
In reply to Re: Loosing hope, posted by daizy on December 17, 2002, at 14:40:45
Daizy, it's most important for you to take action now against this while you're still willing to do so. It's just going to go downhill untill you do something to fix it. Most of this stuff just doesn't seem to go away on it's own. If you want to get better, you need to make yourself get better. Just sitting there feeling sorry for yourself isn't going to do it. I tried that for a looooooong time myself...Just make it into a goal of yours, to find out what's wrong and figure out the best way to make it better. That's what I did....
This is the end of the thread.
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