![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 13 of 13. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by bluedog on December 14, 2002, at 13:12:37
Re: bluedog ( http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20021210/msgs/131788.html )
Posted by cubbybear on December 14, 2002, at 9:24:47Hi bluedog,
Haven't heard from you for a while. Are you still out there? I have been looking forward to your replies to my last note. (By the way, never mind about E-mail; I realize that it's best to stick to this message board only). But let's keep in touch for now!
=================================================In reply to bluedog, posted by cubbybear on December 14, 2002, at 9:24:47
Hi Cubbybear
I'm still around. I'm sorry that I haven't kept in contact recently but I am currently going through a pretty intense period of anxiety that seems to be building up with every passing day.
I'm actually returning to work on Monday the 16th of December (In other words I've only got one more day to go) after a 4 month extended sick leave period since I was struck down by my last episode of major depression. As the return date gets nearer and nearer I'm starting to panic as I am worried about the inevitable questions that will come fom my colleagues asking why I've been off sick for such an extended period. I'm also worried whether the stress of the job will cause me to relapse back into my depression.
I'm still undecided whether to tell my colleagues the truth about my depression or whether to lie and say that I've had glandular fever or something like this. I've also been diagnosed with chronic fatigue but again people don't have much understanding of this condition and may form opinions that with chronic fatigue and depression that I've really just been lazy and view me as some kind of malingerer.
I saw my Pdoc on Friday for some last minute medication advice and to help me through the initial anxiety upon my return he has upped my Diazepam doseages to 5mg 3x daily to hopefully give my mind a bit of a break and to prevent any relapse into my chronic social anxiety and depression from any excessive job stress.
Anyway, to get back to your original question in our previous thread, I'd LOVE to have discussions with you on the subject of spirituality and related matters. I think that because this is the med board that we should have this dialogue on the social board instead. Maybe you can start things off with a post that summarises your basic philosophy on spirituality? I am extremely interested in the relationship between your spirituality and your move to Thailand. I also have a million other questions to ask and I know this discussion will lead down many interesting paths:) :) :).
I will keep a look out for your posts on the Social Board. However because I am going back to work on Monday and tomorrow I will be spending most of the day preparing for my return (ironing shirts, polishing shoes etc etc) do not be concerned if I am not responding to your posts immediately and depending on how tired I am it may take me a couple of days to get back to your posts(I have a job that is extremely emotionally draining). If I'm really tired I may need to limit our discussions to the weekends only and I hope you understand this> Also, the very nature of the topic of spirituality will often require me to actually "process" things that have been said (ie to mull things over in my head) before I can give a coherent response to some posts.
Just be rest assured that I WILL in fact be responding. Again, accept my apologies for not getting back to you sooner. I have in fact been feeling rather guilty about this fact. Once I've been back at work for a while I won't have any problems giving you my email address to discuss issues that may not be relevant or appropriate on the PB main social board.
See you on the Social Board soon
warm regards
bluedog
Posted by IsoM on December 15, 2002, at 2:39:45
In reply to CubbyBear, posted by bluedog on December 14, 2002, at 13:12:37
Bluedog, our society doesn't consider it 'socially acceptable' to tell others you've been suffering from depression, but it IS okay (& sometimes a badge of honour, so to speak) to say you suffered burn-out from work. Police, firemen, emergency ward & trauma doctors, nurses on long shifts, administrators, & such all suffer from burn-out.
Seeing that your job is high stress, why not tell people your doctor wanted you to take stress leave due to burn-out - that he considered you too valuable to completely burn yourself out? I don't know if burn-out is considered acceptable in Australia, but here, if one's had burn-out from work, most people will knowingly nod their heads in sympathy & agreement.
Posted by cubbybear on December 15, 2002, at 9:42:57
In reply to for bluedog - re: returing to work, posted by IsoM on December 15, 2002, at 2:39:45
Hi bluedog,
I finally found your notes on this and the other babble page and was very glad to hear from you; but of course, I felt bad that you're feeling rotten and can only wish you the best in getting over your present stresses. With you, I definitely feel that I have found a new friend.
I myself have been thinking and dwelling on the new medication hurdle that I'm now up against, i.e. very slowly tapering off the Klonopin (benzo-type drug I've taken as a sleeping aid); I'm facing up to the possibility of maybe encountering withdrawal symptoms. Perhaps it will turn out fine, and I have confidence that my doctor is going about it as professionally and carefully as it should be done. But it is part of my nature to worry about things to no end.
Your last note gave me great encouragement that we will be able to continue our correspondence further.
I, too, have to get extra rest and don't have time right now to get into all the questions about spirituality and other topics that we want to discuss. But as soon as I have some free time within the next few days, I will post a message. There's just one thing I don't understand: which of the Babble sites are we supposed to use Social or Psycho-Babble if our messages touch on both subjects? Or doesn't it matter? I guess I could direct this question to Administration, but maybe you can tell me.
In the meantime, I hope you'll be feeling better and doing well at your job.
Posted by bluedog on December 17, 2002, at 11:43:56
In reply to Re: for bluedog - re: returing to work, posted by cubbybear on December 15, 2002, at 9:42:57
Thank you both for your words of encouragement for my return to work. I am extremely exhausted after my first two days. I had a real fright yesterday because at the end of the day I came home SEVERELY depressed and I was terrified that I was relapsing back into depression after only one day back. However today was slightly better and although I'm REALLY tired I think I may just be re-adjusting to full time work rather than relapsing back into my major depression. Fortunately I have tomorrow off work as my PDoc recommended that initially I should return to work at only 4 days a week (taking Wednesdays off). I didn't think this would have been necessary but I guess my PDOc is starting to know me better than myself and I'm now grateful that he did make this recommendation.
Iso, I used the "stress leave/burnout" line on my colleagues and the level of support and understanding I received from my colleagues was absolutely amazing.
It turns out that I am not the only one suffering and there are many colleagues who admitted to me that they were "living on a razors edge" and perilously close to having nervous breakdowns themselves!!! I learnt that the amount of sick leave taken by my colleagues during my absence was simply astronomical!!!!
I just don't understand how management can simply continue to cut staffing levels back to "bare bones" and then expect client service levels to actually improve and staff morale to also improve with all the so called "efficiency" measures that they have introduced.
I think the theory of management is that fear and stress automatically improves efficiency in an organisation. What is really frightening is the amount of managerial back slapping and self congratulatory mumbo jumbo that goes on in the monthly staff briefings. I find it very disturbing that these people are completely oblivious to the suffering that is happening at the "coal face" and the levels of abuse that the front line staff endure on a daily basis from our so called "happy" customers. The management seem to TRULY believe that things are OK.
I think this is a common phenomenom in most organisations these days, wouldn't you agree?
warm regards
bluedog
By the way I had to redraft this post about ten times because the number of spelling and typing errors I'm making at the moment is absolutely astronomical!!!
Posted by IsoM on December 17, 2002, at 12:08:40
In reply to For IsoM and Cubbybear!!!, posted by bluedog on December 17, 2002, at 11:43:56
Yes, bluedog, management generally live in a diff world separated from the common worker. Their idea of efficiency is 'how much money did we save for profits instead'. Their mentality is so short term. They want immediate results with no thought of what the effects (& profits) will be long term. Then when things get bungled up, new managment gets brought in to rectify things. Sometimes the change-over is gradual, but the effects are always the same - new, equally stupid changes are made, & the cycle is repeated.
No wonder there's so many Dilbert & other cartoons aimed at management practices. But does management ever get it? Nooo.
You did get my email letting you know I got yours, I hope?
Posted by cubbybear on December 18, 2002, at 9:53:54
In reply to management » bluedog, posted by IsoM on December 17, 2002, at 12:08:40
Hi bluedog,
Congratulations on your return to work and I hope the transition will become easier as you go along.
I've reached a juncture in our corrrespondence where I feel that perhaps we have to do things differently. it was "easy" for me to post messages regarding depression, Aurorix and med-related matters but then I found myself on this social board where I do have a problem of sorts using it. You say that you are extremely curious about my ideas on spirituality and moving to Thailand. You also sensed that there are many paths that our discussions could take. This is totally true and I too would like to share my thoughts about spirituality and many of the reasonsthat I chose to move here, BUT much of this stuff is quite personal. Religion, politics, and personal morals all enter into the equation and I simply don't feel comfortable utilizing a public message board where most anyone can read about it, react to it, and respond to it. I have strong opinions on these sensitive issues (religion, morals, etc.) and I'm also a very " private" person who will share ideas only with friends whom I can trust--but not the general public on a message board. I think that the Psycho Babble is a terrfiic concept but the Psycho Social Babble presents a privacy problem for me. I hope that you can understand what I mean.
Obviously, we can't meet in person so, from my viewpoint, the only way I could go on sharing my views on personal issues is via E-mail,, if that would be OK with you. if you would like to talk via E-mail, you could indicate your E-mail address in your next post and I promise I will respond.
Posted by bluedog on December 18, 2002, at 11:39:35
In reply to Re: management, posted by cubbybear on December 18, 2002, at 9:53:54
>I too would like to share my thoughts about spirituality and many of the reasons that I chose to move here, BUT much of this stuff is quite personal. Religion, politics, and personal morals all enter into the equation and I simply don't feel comfortable utilizing a public message board where most anyone can read about it, react to it, and respond to it. I have strong opinions on these sensitive issues (religion, morals, etc.) and I'm also a very " private" person who will share ideas only with friends whom I can trust--but not the general public on a message board. I think that the Psycho Babble is a terrfiic concept but the Psycho Social Babble presents a privacy problem for me. I hope that you can understand what I mean.
Cubbybear,(I must admit you have a cute posting name. Are you an animal lover like myself?), I completely understand where you are coming from. I too am an intensely private individual (almost to the point of paranoia - but I will explain the reasons for this in our email correspondence) and as I have explained to others there are views that I hold that I would never wish to express on a public board such as PB social board. Some of my views would probably breach the "civility" rules of the board. I have considered using the PB faith board for our discussions but quite frankly I do not DARE to post on the faith board because I honestly DO NOT understand the rules and dynamics that govern that board. Also issues of spirituality rather than conventional religion do not seem to be well tolerated on that board!!
AND yes, I also need to slowly build up a level of trust with someone who I consider to be a kindred spirit to be able to comfortably express my deep personal views to that person.
==================================================================================================> Obviously, we can't meet in person so, from my viewpoint, the only way I could go on sharing my views on personal issues is via E-mail,, if that would be OK with you. if you would like to talk via E-mail, you could indicate your E-mail address in your next post and I promise I will respond.
Cubbybear, I am currently relapsing back into a fairly severe depression after being back at work for a few days. However, I sense that you are a person who will be able to provide support and underdstanding (along with a few others that I correspond with personally) during both good and bad periods for me. I just need to somehow get through the next couple of days at work and I will then post my email address up on this board for you on the weekend in this particular thread. However, I don't know if you've followed any of the posts between ISoM and myself but I need to set up either a Yahoo or Hotmail account because for obvious privacy reasons I am not prepared to post my private/personal email address on the public boards. I've been having some problems in setting up such an account but I will be getting some assistance from my brother this weekend who is a computer wizz to set up such an account. I will keep you updated.
Warm regards and looking forward to our future discussions
bluedog
Posted by cubbybear on December 19, 2002, at 4:03:43
In reply to Re: Spirituality, morals, politics,religion etc!!! » cubbybear, posted by bluedog on December 18, 2002, at 11:39:35
. However, I don't know if you've followed any of the posts between ISoM and myself but I need to set up either a Yahoo or Hotmail account because for obvious privacy reasons I am not prepared to post my private/personal email address on the public boards. I've been having some problems in setting up such an account but I will be getting some assistance from my brother this weekend who is a computer wizz to set up such an account. I will keep you updated.
Yes, I've been following the posts between you and her/him and will keep doing so. I will also very eagerly await your posting to me so we can get an E-mail correspondence started. I already have accounts with Yahoo and Hotmail, although I much prefer the Yahoo; they have faster service.
I'm sorry to hear that you're lapsing back into depression. Is the Prozac pooping out on you or can you increase the dose? Or better yet, can you go back onto Aurorix soon? Keep in touch via this board and with your new E-mail address as soon as you get it.
>
> Warm regards and looking forward to our future discussions
> Yes, same goes for me.
>
>
>
Posted by bluedog on December 22, 2002, at 5:58:27
In reply to Re: Spirituality, morals, politics,religion etc!!!, posted by cubbybear on December 19, 2002, at 4:03:43
Hi Cubbybear
Just keeping you updated with where I'm at at the moment. I had a real shocker of a day on Friday and I had to call in sick......it was only my first week back at work so you can imagine the feelings of guilt I experienced and what the management must have been thinking about me (Probably thinking......"here we go again")
Well in my doctors opinion I was actually coming down with a virus.....I have a throat that feels like someone has been being rubbing up and down the back of my throat with sand-paper. Anyway my doctor believes that the stress of my first week back (I also suffer from chronic fatigue syndrome) has lowered my immunity just enough to allow a virus to take hold in my system and just to be safe he has given me Monday off work as well but I'm hoping that I will be able to get into work regardless because I am extremely worried about what my employer thinks about my reliability with all this. (I have after all just had a 4 month extended sick leave period)
Anyway, because I've been feeling so rotten I have had to cancel my brother this weekend and I have not yet been able to set up a Yahoo account. {I'm actually going to take your advice and set up a Yahoo account rather than a Hotmail account :) }
With Christmas comimg up this week I'm going to be rather distracted with family obligations but I hope to be able to set up my email account next weekend and will post the details as soon as they are to hand.
Im the mean time I wish you a wonderful time with your family and friends over the christmas period. Christmas must be a completely different and unique experience for the majority of westerners living or holidaying in Thailand with the majority of the Thai population not having a christian background? Please let me know what the Christmas experience in Thailand is like????
My warm regards and best wishes
bluedog
Posted by cubbybear on December 23, 2002, at 1:43:22
In reply to Re: Update on email address » cubbybear, posted by bluedog on December 22, 2002, at 5:58:27
Hi bluedog,
Sorry that you have been feeling so rotten. We all know that stress lowers your resistance to infection, so you've got to work on your mental as well as physical woes at the same time. Last summer, during my worst depression ever, I also had to suffer through another bout of sciatic pain (in sciatic nerve from lower back, then down the leg) at the same time as my depression. I was virtually incapacitated from the brain down to the knee. Thank God, I was able to obtain total relief from the physical pain from Chinese ACUPUNCTURE after only 4 visits. Not everyone can deal with the thought of lying on the table with about 14 needles sticking out of their body, but it's really painless and it works wonders. Some time, maybe I'll get to tell you more about acupuncture, if you're interested.
I've been thinking a lot about your predicament and precarious situation as you survived your first week back at work.
Now, about Xmas in Thailand. . .well, this is not a good subject for public posting, so I will say more when we get E-mail correspondence going. Suffice it to say for now that I do not celebrate Christmas at all, since I am not a Christian. And, as far as Thailand is concerned, this place is 95% Buddhist but the dept. stores put up the decorations for 2 whole months, as if it were a Christian nation, and holiday time off is taken for five straight days until Jan. 1 simply because the Thais look for any excuse to take time off from work. It is positively absurd to see all the commercialism of Xmas displayed in a nation that is so overly Buddhist. Oh, well, I guess I said more than I expected to say on this board.There are way too many holidays every year in Thailand, which lead to the usual all-night drinking, blasting of music and carnage and drunken driving deaths. I would love to get out of the city for New Year's Eve, but my mother said via E-mail that there's a good chance I could encounter the same nuisances anywhere else, even in the countryside. I know she's right, so I'm not sure what I'm going to do. All I know is I'll be very glad when these holidays are over. My entire family lives in the U.S. and so perhaps I'll make some plans with work colleagues or try to find some things to do by myself.
I've been feeling a bit lonely lately, doing a lot of soul-searching about companionship, friends, and living alone. Since I've come to enjoy my independence and freedom (living alone) for the past 18 years, I wonder what I will ultimately do in the distant future, because I can't really envision living alone forever. It's a real dilemma.As for medication--I've been taking the Aurorix now at 300 mg. day for the past couple of weeks and have felt no side effects. I'm also gradually phasing down the Clonazepam (down from 4.0 mg/day to 3.75 mg/day now). Even at that slow rate of decrease, I can feel a difference. Sometimes I get mild feelings of anxiety, irritability or malaise, but if it doesn't get any worse than this, I'll be OK and should be able to phase it out over a period of several months.
I look forward to getting your E-mail address as soon as it is more convenient for you. Take care of yourself...............
Posted by cubbybear on December 26, 2002, at 23:53:12
In reply to Re: Update on email address, posted by cubbybear on December 23, 2002, at 1:43:22
Hi bluedog,
Sorry to have to tell you that now I myself have taken a terrible fall, as a consequence of my short-tempered personality, that spilled over at work, alienating co-workers and Thai teachers. I also received a note from a friend of 7 years implying that he's breaking off the friendship. My moodiness and "prickly" nature (as he put it) has apparently gotten to be too much for him to deal with any longer. (It's a unique relationship, in that we communicate only by E-mail and see each other only once a year in April when I visit the U.S.) So he sent a note to me last night that hit me like a bomb.
I have a feeling that all the ingredients are in place to trigger another depression, after I had had made such a fine recovery. It might be that the Aurorix will be put to the test for me a lot sooner than I thought. I have an appointment with the Dr. tonight (my reg. Fri. session) and I'll tell him of the horrors that I've been through over the past couple of days. I'm hoping that you will get your E-mail going soon, but either way, we'll be in touch.
regards,
cubbybear
Posted by bluedog on December 29, 2002, at 9:37:24
In reply to Re: I'm a mess now, posted by cubbybear on December 26, 2002, at 23:53:12
> Hi bluedog,
> Sorry to have to tell you that now I myself have taken a terrible fall, as a consequence of my short-tempered personality, that spilled over at work, alienating co-workers and Thai teachers. I also received a note from a friend of 7 years implying that he's breaking off the friendship. My moodiness and "prickly" nature (as he put it) has apparently gotten to be too much for him to deal with any longer. (It's a unique relationship, in that we communicate only by E-mail and see each other only once a year in April when I visit the U.S.) So he sent a note to me last night that hit me like a bomb.
> I have a feeling that all the ingredients are in place to trigger another depression, after I had had made such a fine recovery. It might be that the Aurorix will be put to the test for me a lot sooner than I thought. I have an appointment with the Dr. tonight (my reg. Fri. session) and I'll tell him of the horrors that I've been through over the past couple of days. I'm hoping that you will get your E-mail going soon, but either way, we'll be in touch.
> regards,
> cubbybearHi Cubbybear
I wasn't going to respond to your message until after you'd been to see your Doc. I can see that you've now posted a message on the med board so I will split my response between the social board and the med board.
I am sorry that you have had such a horror of a day on Friday. Did you have your troubles at work because of the message from your email friend or was it just a terrible coincidence that these events happened so close together yet independantly of eachother?
Did you get the sense that there was a sense of permanancy in your friends message? Sometimes what may seem all doom and gloom may be a distortion of reality. It may be that your friend is having troubles of his own and simply needs to keep to himself for a while. I have an email friendship where at times we are in constant communication with eachother whereas at other times we can go months without any contact whatsoever. I myself go through dark periods where I won't even respond to emails that are sent to me from my friend and the same goes for my friend. At other times we will tell eachother that due to whatever reasons (sometimes no reasons are given at all) that we will agree not to contact eachother for a period.
I initially had difficulty with this but life has taught me that as a true friend I should respect my friends wishes and know that they still hold me in their heart but simply need time to sort out whatever it that is happening in their life. We then simply accept the others wishes no matter how personally painful it may seem.
NOW what I'm going to say to you may seem hard and perhaps even callous but take it from someone with personal experience that I have learnt that if all my communications to my friends are negative or (prickly) as you put it that this can become very draining on the other person. I have a tendency to do this at the darkest times in my life and it is at these times that my friend will sometimes tell me that they still love me and that their thoughts are with me but that thay are currently not in a position to deal with my troubles on top of their own busy schedules. This can be very painful but is a very hard reality that life sometimes deals out.
AS the old saying goes "Everybody has their own cross to bear"
SOMETIMES YOU SIMPLY NEED YOUR OWN SPACE. I myself am going through a dark period with my return to work, a relapse of my depression and a dose of the flu on top of this all. Of course these things are all interrelated. But experience has taught me that these dark periods do not last forever though at the time it certainly feels like it.
You were very positive in your previous posts at having overcome a very dark depression so I KNOW that you have the strength deep inside you to overcome this current setback. If you view this as merely a setback in the entire scheme of your life and existence it may help you to put things into perspective rather than viewing it as a relapse back into a dark depression.
Finally I am going to advise you to spread your wings a little and slowly but surely learn to share and trust some of your feelings with the very caring community within psychobabble. I can guarantee you that 100% of the posters here have been exactly where you are right now. USE THIS RESOURCE - IT CAN BE A TRUE GOLDMINE AND ALSO A LIFELINE. It will take a little time for the other posters to get to know you and even to trust you but once they start to understand your own unique personality you will be amazed at the positive and uplifting responses you will receive.
One warning though, you may not agree with all the advice that is given to you but accept that the advice that is given is given in good faith and with the best of intentions.
The more people you can spread your load with the lighter that load becomes rather than relying on just one or two persons such as your US email friend to share your burden with. Also by sharing the load there are always at least one or two people on this board who are in an "up" phase of their lives and will be able to give you clear and insightful advice even when others may be in a "down" stage like yourself at this moment in time.
I give you my warmest regards and grant you the strength to overcome your current problems. You've done it before so you can do it again.
bluedog
Posted by cubbybear on January 13, 2003, at 11:23:46
In reply to Re: I'm a mess now » cubbybear, posted by bluedog on December 29, 2002, at 9:37:24
Hi bluedog,
You probably were wondering why I never answered your previous post. Here we are-- two whole weeks after you wrote and I'm first getting around to it. Why? The reason is simple: maybe I'm just stupid and inexperienced but I simply had been unaccustomed to using SOCIAL babble (and my emotional state just compounded the oversight),, so back then I looked only at your posting on regular psychobabble. So I missed your reply on this board.
When I was eating dinner tonight, I got to thinking of going back to the social babble board to see whatever came of your hopes of getting hooked up with E-mail. I had originally printed out all of your messages and decided to take a short cut: I wrote down the entire E-mail address (including eight-digit posting number)--the one that the board itself assigns to every post they get. That would save me time, compared to starting at the home page.
So it worked--I got directly to your message, then happened to glance at the entire thread. ( I can be very pragmatic as well as forgetful; maybe the Clonazepam is affecting my short-term memory). It was then that I discovered you had written a followup post on Dec. 29. Well, by Dec. 29, I was such a mess that I forgot about the social babble board entirely. (I hope all this makes sense.) As the cliche goes, better late than never.
Now, to answer your question-- the two events of that awful Friday (troubles at work) and then receiving the letter from my friend were--as you put it--"a terrible coincidence." And yet, they very much emananted from the same root cause, i.e. my short-tempered, ultra-sensitive personality. It upset my co-workers on that day and evidently killed off my relationship with my friend over the long-term.
You also wondered if there was a sense of permanency in his message. Well I did write him a letter virtually begging him to re-consider; and his reply was that he had given it a lot of thought and there would be no reconsideration.
Your posting of 29/12 was very well thought out and you are absolutely right: my personality quirks CAN be very draining on people and my mother has been trying to get this through my head for the longest time. Oddly, I can often see myself as others see me, but trying to change one's personality--actually eradicating the most deep-seated ways of reacting to the slightest things--can seem next to impossible to accomplish. But if I don't succeed at this, it's almost inevitable that I will continue to alienate people when I'm feeling irritable and history will repeat itself.
I basically have no choice but to get rid of this very nasty "darker" side.
Now, as for the current stateof affairs I remain VERY depressed (it's now more than 2 weeks). The combination of total frustration/dissatisfaction with my job + loss of friend + major changes/sacrifices/
losses in my social life have combined like a lethal mix to send me back into the pits of depression.
My pdoc upped my dose of Moclobemide to 600 mg. on Jan. 3, and it's possible that he might tell me to go to 750 this Friday if I'm still feeling as bad as I did last week. So far, even at 600 mg. I'm feeling NO side effects. (Maybe you've seen my latest postings about Moclobemide on the reg. Psycho Babble board.) By far the most painful part is that hellish WAITING PERIOD of 4-6 weeks, or whatever it is, until the meds finally take effect and you really start to feel better. Every minute can feel like an eternity. And of course, it's my very first time experimenting with this medication, so my depression-induced fear is that it won't help me.
(By the way, I liked your very upbeat perspective that it's not really a relapse I've experienced, but rather a setback.)
I'm so glad that I found your posting tonight, a whole 2 weeks after you sent it. I printed it out and will keep it and re-read it as a source of encouragement. (If I don't hear from you soon, I'll start a new thread and direct you back to this letter, so we can properly resume contact). I hope this letter didn't alienate you! You see--that's what depression does--you start blaming yourself, and worry about being rejected and all that totally negative stuff. E-c-c-h, I'm feeling ALL of it!!
cubbybear
This is the end of the thread.
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