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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 16 of 16. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Dr_Eamerz on November 25, 2002, at 8:10:36
..back to sleep..wasting space.
..No pep posts please..I'm allowed to feel sorry for myself for I'm sick of the life it's too grim .It seems impossible to change , my atoms are stupid.
blah x3
Posted by BeardedLady on November 25, 2002, at 8:57:33
In reply to ..am i not worthy ? i am not worthy, posted by Dr_Eamerz on November 25, 2002, at 8:10:36
No pep post here, just a good song--a nice self-pity song by Ani Difranco.
"you think you're not worthy/i'd have to say i agree/
i'm not worthy of you/you're not worthy of me.
which of us is deserving/look at the human race/
the whole planet at arm's length/and we don't deserve this place."I wish I could play it for you. Maybe it would perk you up! (Note I didn't say pep.)
Pity parties are fine. I've had enough of them here. Black balloons and all.
Time to drink some Tension Tamer tea. It does something for you (B vitamins, maybe). I don't know what it does, but something.
I'm going to finish grading my papers now. Just wanted to support you in your current mode.
I also want to say I love your pussy posts--the pants and the hairless.
beardy
Posted by Eddie Sylvano on November 25, 2002, at 9:34:41
In reply to ..am i not worthy ? i am not worthy, posted by Dr_Eamerz on November 25, 2002, at 8:10:36
> my atoms are stupid.
---------------It's hard to escape that.
Posted by NikkiT2 on November 25, 2002, at 10:09:17
In reply to ..am i not worthy ? i am not worthy, posted by Dr_Eamerz on November 25, 2002, at 8:10:36
No pep talk here...
I was once asked what I felt I was worthy of... something I felt I deserved.. i couldn't come up with a single thing... but I think the person who asked thought I was just being difficult and melodramatic!!!
I like beardies idea of a pity party.. when we can all whinge and whine to our hearts content without someone constantly trying to tell you that you won;t feel like htis next week, or you are better than you think etc etc... people just to nod and go "OK".
And I even found black birthday cake candles last week to go with beardies black balloons!!!
Nikki x
Posted by Dr_Eamerz on November 25, 2002, at 12:25:07
In reply to Re: ..am i not worthy ? i am not worthy, posted by NikkiT2 on November 25, 2002, at 10:09:17
Beardy If I have the energy I'll blow up the balloons and stamp on them...stamp on the blackness ..I'm not really depressed ( not sure)just tired finding it hard to get motivated with my life slipping on by...
Black candles on black forest gateau cake..Nikki I also know you are tired with the docs here and the waiting...I don't know if it's incompetence on their part or the NHS in general..maybe the good docs flee to USA/Canada/etc : )
I try to eat well..maybe I need vitamins or a good slap : )
Posted by NikkiT2 on November 25, 2002, at 16:53:17
In reply to Re: ..self pity party, posted by Dr_Eamerz on November 25, 2002, at 12:25:07
Who knows what the hell makes them so damned incomptetant over here.
I feel extremely lucky at the moment as I have my new psychologist.. I was only on the waiting list for 26 months!! *l* But they've told me if my DBT comes up (been on that waiting list 19 months so far!) I won't be able to see Maggie anymore, and she really is helping.
I have a question in with the Department of Health about the disgusting waiting lists for psych services, as they're not counted in on any waiting list reports!!!! Will let you know if they reply within the next century!!!
Hnag in there.. don't let the bastards get to you...
Nikki xx
Posted by Tabitha on November 26, 2002, at 0:42:56
In reply to Re: ..self pity party » Dr_Eamerz, posted by NikkiT2 on November 25, 2002, at 16:53:17
you stomp on the balloons, I'll stomp on the cake, then roll around in the crumbs, with much gnashing of teeth, howling "I'm not worthy! Woooe is meeee!"
Posted by BeardedLady on November 26, 2002, at 7:52:11
In reply to Re: ..self pity party, posted by Tabitha on November 26, 2002, at 0:42:56
Um, there is to be no stomping on cake. See, cake is sacred to me. Especially white sheet cake with white icing. My daughter's middle name was going to be Cake because I gained 60 pounds with her due to my cake lunch every day of my pregnancy.
So no cake stomping, please, okay?
beardy
(Or should this be redirected to the Faith board?)
Posted by shar on November 26, 2002, at 23:05:26
In reply to Re: ..self pity party, posted by Dr_Eamerz on November 25, 2002, at 12:25:07
I'm a 'program person' (AA) where the expression 'pity party' is often used. However, I'd heard it long before AA, and IMHO if used seriously, it is a judgemental finger-point at someone who feels bad.
I think the use of that expression should carry criminal penalties. If someone feels bad, that's just a fact of life, and if shaming someone who feels bad was an effective mood elevator, we'd ALL be feeling great, because we are the first to shame ourselves!! IMHO, of course. Same goes for judging and/or criticizing someone who feels bad.
So, if you, Dreamer, are feeling bad or low or sad or not-happy-in-general, I will send you wishes and energy for feeling better when you can.
Shar
Posted by Dreamerz on November 27, 2002, at 4:38:44
In reply to pity party...that expression should be banned, posted by shar on November 26, 2002, at 23:05:26
Thanks Shar..everyone..
Posted by BeardedLady on November 27, 2002, at 11:31:46
In reply to Re: pity party...that expression should be banned, posted by Dreamerz on November 27, 2002, at 4:38:44
I like the expression. I think it turns something dreary into something fun. It's "misery loves company." I picture a bunch of people sitting around feeling sorry for themselves, yet while the music plays, they dance and sing and carry on. By the time the pity party is over, everyone's happy.
The baggage we carry influences a lot of how we feel about everything, including language. But I wish you would have stated your dislike of that phrase with less judgment. Saying it should be banned, rather than saying you hate it, makes it seem as though you believe the persons saying it have done something wrong.
They haven't. They've simply used a phrase that they perhaps see differently from the way you see it.
Happy Thanksgiving.
beardy
Posted by Dinah on November 27, 2002, at 15:27:42
In reply to pity party--shar, mostly, posted by BeardedLady on November 27, 2002, at 11:31:46
I know I've shared this before, so please forgive me. But my son and I love pity parties. Whenever either of us has a rotten day we break out "Alexander and the Terrible Horrible No Good Very Bad Day", get some nice comfort food, and throw a big pity party. We howl all our various woes, the other howls along in sympathy, and we see if we can get the dogs to join in. My husband rolls his eyes and goes to the other room.
If anything can cheer us up, it's a good pity party.
Posted by ShelliR on November 27, 2002, at 16:21:17
In reply to pity party--shar, mostly, posted by BeardedLady on November 27, 2002, at 11:31:46
Beardy,
I think your post to Shar was a bid heavy-handed. She doesn't like the expression, "pity party", but I didn't get any sense that she was trying to make anyone who had previously used the expression feel bad, guilty, or otherwise, as she added her good wishes.
I think this is one of those occasions where the spirit and tone of the post mean more than the specific words used. I believe you misread the spirit.And, while Shar's judgment was against the expression, your judgment appears to be directly pointed at Shar. Just maybe a little too personal, and and not warranted from Shar's post, of course, imo.
That said, I'm wishing everyone, including you, Shar and all babblers, a wonderful Thanksgiving tomorrow.
Shelli
Posted by jane d on November 28, 2002, at 9:40:54
In reply to pity party--shar, mostly, posted by BeardedLady on November 27, 2002, at 11:31:46
> The baggage we carry influences a lot of how we feel about everything, including language. But I wish you would have stated your dislike of that phrase with less judgment. Saying it should be banned, rather than saying you hate it, makes it seem as though you believe the persons saying it have done something wrong.
>
> They haven't. They've simply used a phrase that they perhaps see differently from the way you see it.BeardedLady,
I agree. I think you may have read into the word
"banned" something very different from what was meant, perhaps because of the various discussions of censorship on the board. Saying that such and such phrase "should be banned" is just a way of implying both distaste and that the phrase is used way too much. I think this is how most people understand it (at least here - France may be a different matter).BTW I never heard "pity party" until I came to this board. I judged it only by the contexts in which it was used here and it bothered me from the start. I had wondered if it was a regional expression so it's nice to learn about it's 12 step history. I can see that said in a specific tone between people who know each other it might be quite ok. There are a few people who could say that to me but they are people who know me well enough to know when not to say it too.
Jane, who will remember from now on that the term may mean something warm, fuzzy and supportive to the person using it even as she flinches reflexively.
Posted by BeardedLady on November 29, 2002, at 18:00:30
In reply to Re: pity party--shar, mostly, posted by ShelliR on November 27, 2002, at 16:21:17
Thanks for letting me know how you feel, Shelli. I didn't mean it as heavily as you took it, even though I thought the original post was heavy handed.
I have a strong feeling that if I the posting names were reversed, I'd be attacked for having had such a strong opinion on the term pity party.
I hope Shar doesn't take it personally. It wasn't an attack on her, and neither was her post about pity parties an attack on me; I didn't take it that way. I simply questioned the way she phrased something.
But it's all okay. I hope your holiday was as magical as mine.
beardy
Posted by shar on November 30, 2002, at 11:34:05
In reply to Re: pity party, posted by Dinah on November 27, 2002, at 15:27:42
I think an important phrase in my original post is:
"if used seriously..."So, I'm talking about when people are truly feeling sad, overwhelmed, depressed, or even suicidal, and someone recommends they get off the pity pot, or stop their pity party. IMHO, that is quintessential insensitivity.
I've seen and heard it used *seriously* WAY too many times, and have never once seen a helpful outcome from it. IMHO, and it is only my opinion, people who do use it against (yes, I believe it is used 'against' when it is used seriously) others are being insensitive and shaming at best and judgmental and critical or even cruel, at worst.
This is just my opinion. I see it as a damaging thing to say, when used seriously, with no redeeming value. So, I believe its use should be banned. And carry criminal penalties. (Yes, I am somewhat tongue-in-cheek about the latter, I suppose.)
Beardy, if you're reading, good people can say crappy things. I think my opinion about 'pity party' (when it's used seriously) makes it clear I think it is a crappy thing to say to someone, crappy on many levels and in many ways I didn't detail here. It does *not* mean, however, that I think people who say that seriously are crappy people.
Hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving!
Shar
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