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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by EmilyAnn on July 26, 2002, at 13:47:16
hi all. thank you to those who replied to my post about my hospitalization. I need as much support as I can get right now.
I am really struggling with blame and responsibility and victimization now. In my PHP today, the therapist said that I may be using depression to get something. I really don't think I am...the only thing I can think of is to use it as an excuse to isolate. Everything else does not apply to me...I want to be able to do things, I don't want people to pity me, I don't like attention, I get embarrased about being sick...so I don't know. They tell me I need to learn coping skills, and I get that...I really do...but how can I when this depression is like a cloud over me that I can not (not will not...CAN NOT) get from underneath...First I have them telling me that it's not my fault and that I have an illness, then that I need to get myself out of it after they tell me that you can't just snap out of depression...I'm just confused and frustrated now. I don't want to act like a victime and I know a lot of my problems are self-inflicted...but most are as a result of how I handled my depression, which is my reponsibility...I am just annoyed that I feel I am being blamed for my illness. Please help.
Thank you.
Posted by tabitha on July 27, 2002, at 0:48:17
In reply to Victimization, posted by EmilyAnn on July 26, 2002, at 13:47:16
Hi EmilyAnn,
I'm sorry your therapist said that. I'm sorry to hear any therapist saying that, I just don't see how it can be useful to hear when you're in the middle of depression. It just comes off as blaming and adds to your burden. What was s/he thinking, you'd just suddenly go "you know, you're right. It was me that decided to get depressed", and suddenly a big smile would cross your face, and your depression would evaporate. Ridiculous, huh?
How about telling the therapist about your reaction to him/her saying that to you?
Posted by jay on July 27, 2002, at 0:51:06
In reply to Victimization, posted by EmilyAnn on July 26, 2002, at 13:47:16
Hi:I think that it is very, very judgemental of a therapist to come to a blatent conclusion you are "using depression to get something." You should snap back.."Have you walked a mile in MY shoes?". That sounds rather arrogant and ignorant of them. If you aren't comfortable with them, you have every right to search for another one. There are many bad therapists out there. Don't take what one says as 'gospel'.
Best wishes...
Jay
> hi all. thank you to those who replied to my post about my hospitalization. I need as much support as I can get right now.
>
> I am really struggling with blame and responsibility and victimization now. In my PHP today, the therapist said that I may be using depression to get something. I really don't think I am...the only thing I can think of is to use it as an excuse to isolate. Everything else does not apply to me...I want to be able to do things, I don't want people to pity me, I don't like attention, I get embarrased about being sick...so I don't know. They tell me I need to learn coping skills, and I get that...I really do...but how can I when this depression is like a cloud over me that I can not (not will not...CAN NOT) get from underneath...First I have them telling me that it's not my fault and that I have an illness, then that I need to get myself out of it after they tell me that you can't just snap out of depression...I'm just confused and frustrated now. I don't want to act like a victime and I know a lot of my problems are self-inflicted...but most are as a result of how I handled my depression, which is my reponsibility...I am just annoyed that I feel I am being blamed for my illness. Please help.
>
> Thank you.
Posted by EmilyAnn on July 28, 2002, at 1:22:46
In reply to Re: Victimization, posted by tabitha on July 27, 2002, at 0:48:17
Tabitha...thanks for the feedback. It's nice to know that I'm not crazy..actually it's more than nice to know...sometimes professionals "make" me feel that I am nutty, ya know? you'd think they'd understand.
Luckily, this lady is not my normal therapist...she's the therapist at the partial hospitilization (outpatient) program where I just did inpatient. My regular counselor is much gentler...honest and all, but very kind and gentle and he valitates my emotions.
I think it's a good idea to tell her how I felt when she questioned me like that. Thank you for pointing that out. I'll bring it up on Monday with her...I'll just say how I felt, and do it in a non blaming way...so she doesn't get defensive.
It's funny...I've been struggling with depression for over 10 years...if I could snap out of it or get rid of it, I would...it's no fun at all. Sometimes I wish these "professionals" could go through what we go through so they know...alot of them have though, that's probably why they got into the biz, to help others...but it's like they forget how hard it is or something.
Thanks for listening and responding.
:)
Posted by EmilyAnn on July 28, 2002, at 1:25:34
In reply to Re: Victimization » EmilyAnn, posted by jay on July 27, 2002, at 0:51:06
Jay,
hi. thanks for the reply and the support...I REALLY appreciate it.I'm glad to say that she is not my regular therapist...just the one for the outpatient program I'm in where I was inpatient recently. My regualar counselor is MUCH MUCH more kinder and gentler. THANK GOD!!
I'm going to talk to this chick on Monday...in a non-confrontational way. She doesn't know me...she has seen me only three times in a group of 10 people, so she has no idea, ya know?
Well, take care. Thank you again.
:)
Posted by KB on July 29, 2002, at 13:03:15
In reply to Victimization, posted by EmilyAnn on July 26, 2002, at 13:47:16
People like that always make me so angry - depression is NOT your fault!!! Can you get a new therapist?
Posted by EmilyAnn on July 29, 2002, at 22:53:22
In reply to Re: Victimization, posted by KB on July 29, 2002, at 13:03:15
KB...thank you for the validation :) Luckily, this chick is only my outpatient therapist (and I'm done with that on Wed). My regular therapist, who I've been seeing since Nov., is great.
thank you again. God bless.
-B
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