Psycho-Babble Social Thread 23998

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o yea poems, remember me ( FORGETTING THE SELF )

Posted by kid_A on May 17, 2002, at 21:53:05

FORGETTING THE SELF

remember the mailman
he brings you bills and triffle
remember the police
they keep you safe from the poor
remember the butcher
he wraps your heart in paper
remember the sun
it beats on Austin as it is want to do so
remember the rain
it knocks outside your window
and yet, forget the body
the body is a dumb auto

i washed it there, smiling
simple as a cow, and Oh,
what joy!

drinking
the waters
of Lethe.

wonderful! » kid_A

Posted by BeARdEdLaDY on May 18, 2002, at 6:29:30

In reply to o yea poems, remember me ( FORGETTING THE SELF ), posted by kid_A on May 17, 2002, at 21:53:05

Kid-A:

This is a terrific poem--your best posted yet (well, I like it because it's perfect in that neat package sort of way). If I were your poem swapper (I have a few of those; Zo has been helping me discard the !s and add some —s in my writings, as well as remove a jarring word or two, along with other good advice), I'd say to change the title, as it is a little self-conscious because, after all, that's what the poem is about, and you get that.

My independent study prof, a fantabulous poet, told me that sometimes it was best to just call the poem what the first line is, which, in your case, I like a lot: Remember the Mailman. But "Washing the Car," maybe "Waxing," which has that good double entendre going. But you didn't ask me, so....

The butcher wrapping your heart in paper is so brilliant an image.

And "i washed it there..."—also brilliant.

This is a prize, and I thank you for sharing.

Now to that big cup o' decaf.

beardy : )>

P.S. trifle has one F.

Re: oh, good, he did write it. whew. » BeARdEdLaDY

Posted by Zo on May 19, 2002, at 22:10:22

In reply to wonderful! » kid_A, posted by BeARdEdLaDY on May 18, 2002, at 6:29:30

It was so good, I was afraid he was posting a famous poem I should know. ..

Zo

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