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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 6 of 6. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by beardedlady on May 11, 2002, at 4:46:43
Actually, that poem's in production now, along with "poem for my right breast." "ode to my colon" begins with Shar's rule, which is not to commit suicide until you're at least 50. I've added colonoscopy to the "things not to do before fifty" list.
Except that I had a polyp, so now I can't eat any fresh fruits or raw veggies for two weeks, no nuts or corn, no popcorn, etc. And my endoscopy found some stomach inflamation, so more biopsies were done. And of course I'm nervous about that. My doc said he didn't know what it could be from, so I'm jittery.
After the surgery, I felt like crap--all gassy and bloated (gas pain is awful pain, especially when it's in ten different places in your belly!). I slept on the sofa from about 7:00 to 8:30, when I dragged myself up to bed. I lay awake from four to five, and now it's almost six. Gave up on trying to sleep. You think 9 hours is enough?
I'm starving. I had nothing to eat except jello after Wednesday night and until Friday at 6:00 p.m., at which time I ate a slice of pizza and then another about half an hour apart.
Well, that's all I had to say. Just rambling while my husband and daughter snooze soundly and without worry. Hoping the stomach inflamation isn't anything serious (the c word pops into mind and frightens me).
Bye.
beardy : )>
Posted by Krazy Kat on May 11, 2002, at 9:37:04
In reply to ode to my colon, posted by beardedlady on May 11, 2002, at 4:46:43
beardy:
a dr. who is also a senator was featured in last week's ny Times magazine. Every Christmas he sends out cards to his friends reminding them that they need to get a colonoscopy (and maybe he sends them a coupon?). Seriously.
This is a good thing you've done. Was there stomach disease in your family? My Dad has it, so I should probably have it checked before fifty. :)
Keep us up to date. Can you eat things that are crummy for you, such as ice cream? At least indulge yourself with that.
And, I imagine inflammation is common, but, again, keep us up to date.
- kk
Posted by Phil on May 11, 2002, at 11:07:42
In reply to Re: ode to my colon » beardedlady, posted by Krazy Kat on May 11, 2002, at 9:37:04
Hope that comes out okay and I'm getting a reading that it will.
Had one of those in the mid 80's for another problem. Had to leave that office, walk an outdoor corridor to another building for a Barium enema. The doc's last name was Crouch, really.
I've heard they no longer use the, what looked like a 15" shiny steel pain machine anymore. When I was waiting for the doc, a nurse came in, stood behind me(I'm laying face down with my feet in some stirrups)and she raises, uh, my moon to a forty five degree upward angle. I don't know how long that took but it seemed like days. The nurse leaves, I glance to my right at this shotgun barrel torture telescope and think to my dumb ass self, wonder who he uses that thing on?
I swear though, the worst part was the night before when I had to drink that Fleet's saline crap. I still get sick at the thought. I told my girlfriend on the way home that I felt like I had been raped.
Whoever that Senator is that Krazy Kat mentioned is a sick, sick man.Sorry for the graphic nature of this post..not really,
Phil
Posted by beardedlady on May 11, 2002, at 12:19:35
In reply to Re: ode to my colon, posted by Phil on May 11, 2002, at 11:07:42
This would be a poem, but, because of the last line, it's humor.
They don't make you drink fleet enemas anymore. You drink a gallon of worse tasting stuff, and then you GIVE yourself TWO fleet enemas in a row.
Doc says he is not worried about the C word. Appointment on Thursday, so I'll find out the deal with the tummy. Will also have to have regular colonoscopies. Lovely.
Here's the poem. Shar's in it.
-----wait ‘til fifty
Shar says to wait
til the tell-tale lines appear
til the birdies leave the nest
til you’ve lived half a century.kill yourself when you are well,
she says--not in throes of blue funk,
not sick with grief or guilt--
and fifty, at least fifty.and wait til fifty for the snake,
the rectum tube that wends
its way through intestinal mile,
snapping photos and clipping polyps.wait til fifty for the endless drink,
the syrupy salted water in your fridge,
the magic jug that, once you’ve drunk
half, never moves beyond that line,but recycles itself, becomes more,
multiplies, volumizes, betrays.
yes wait til fifty to drink the drink.
or surely you will kill yourself.lfm (aka beardedlady)
Posted by Angel Girl on May 11, 2002, at 15:28:15
In reply to ode to my colon, posted by beardedlady on May 11, 2002, at 4:46:43
bearded lady
i hope you're feeling better soon. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers and hoping all goes well for you.
Angel Girl
Posted by shar on June 3, 2002, at 0:17:16
In reply to Re: ode to my colon: the poem (with Shar in it!), posted by beardedlady on May 11, 2002, at 12:19:35
Beardy,
I'm so honored to be in your colon...poem. It is a great poem, I got a good chuckle from it.I'm so glad you mentioned it because I bet it is part of my (cumulative) 15 minutes of fame, and I almost missed it!! Thank you!
BTW I do regret that you have to deal with all the BS (Beardy S....)leading to this poem. Dang!
Shar
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