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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 19 of 19. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Krazy Kat on April 19, 2002, at 9:54:36
can men, women, and significant others, please help me figure out where i am in the realm of "fairness" re: the frequency of sex in a long-term relationship and depression?
as a manic/depressive, when manic, sex is more frequent for me. when depressed, it is less. is this really fair to the long term significant other? i have been led to believe, over ten years, that it is not.
my depressions can last a couple of months, but i have never let our intimacy fall below a once a week average (or so I say, he would differ, i'm sure). healthy for me, seems to be @ twice a week.
am i way off? do other couples struggle with this?
thanks.
- kk
Posted by SusanG on April 19, 2002, at 12:07:57
In reply to Significant Others, please help - sex depression, posted by Krazy Kat on April 19, 2002, at 9:54:36
First I just want to say, I often think of that scene in some Woody Allen movie where a split screen is shown with Woody talking to his therapist on one side and his S.O. talking to hers on the other. He says something like, "We hardly ever have sex; maybe three times a week!", and she says, "We are always having sex; maybe three times a week!" It always makes me smile and reminds me how our individual sex drives can vary so much and yet still be within the definition of "normal", if their is such a thing.
I think one thing that is key is your S.O.'s attitude here. If he is understanding of your situation and it isn't interfering with your relationship, great. But I'll bet that isn't exactly the case or you wouldn't have posted. I know that it is very difficult for me to feel sexually alive and interested when depressed. But I also know how incredibly significant our sexual relationship is to my husband and me. So, I try to make it a priority, even when my Inner Sex Godess has gone into hibernation. I find sometimes it helps my depression somewhat and keeps me linked to my spouse even when I don't feel much like communicating verbally. And it is a great sleep aid.
Posted by CtrlAlt n Del on April 21, 2002, at 12:43:42
In reply to Significant Others, please help - sex depression, posted by Krazy Kat on April 19, 2002, at 9:54:36
Dr. Eamer RECOMMENDS downloading..Nathaniel Merriweather -stokers ace , sex , everyone has a summer.....mp3's
Dr.Eamer no' celebatexxxxxx
Posted by CtrlAlt n Del on April 21, 2002, at 12:47:55
In reply to Re: Significant Others, please help - sex depression, posted by CtrlAlt n Del on April 21, 2002, at 12:43:42
Posted by beardedlady on April 21, 2002, at 13:13:26
In reply to Significant Others, please help - sex depression, posted by Krazy Kat on April 19, 2002, at 9:54:36
My therapist gives me little instructions to make my life better. Sometimes he'll say to write a poem about my dog's death. Lots of times he assigns: do something fun. Other times he'll tell me to go home and have sex; it is a sure way, he says, to improve my sleep and to begin to feel better. He's so right.
When I am terribly depressed (usually about not sleeping), physical touching makes such an amazing difference. When I am anxious, I often have to have sex because I know it calms me afterward.
I have been with my husband for nineteen or twenty years (married eight). We don't have sex nearly as often as he'd like, and it's not fair. Lots of times the S.O.s feel excluded from our lives. They feel unloved, neglected; often, we're so busy worrying about ourselves.
There should be a compromise. Try twice a week--or even twice every other week. I agree that the thought of it is often so unpleasant when we feel down, but it's so good for us.
beardy : )>
Posted by Krazy Kat on April 21, 2002, at 14:01:58
In reply to sexual healing, posted by beardedlady on April 21, 2002, at 13:13:26
I think I need to talk to someone about this further. I am beginning to wonder if I have "issues" that go beyond my illness.
It is such a sensitive subject for me - I become defensive very easily and that certainly gets us nowhere.
Thanks again!
- kk
Posted by CtrlAlt n Del on April 21, 2002, at 15:06:05
In reply to thank you for the frank answers..., posted by Krazy Kat on April 21, 2002, at 14:01:58
K..sweet..K
Sorry I can't advise..seriousness has flown through the window..mmmmmaybe I'm TOO playfully silly.. erm , self blockage time?It is a tricky subject to discuss especially in a forum such as this-online...take care...
xxxxxxxx
Posted by Krazy Kat on April 21, 2002, at 15:48:56
In reply to Re: thank you for the frank answers..KK., posted by CtrlAlt n Del on April 21, 2002, at 15:06:05
Posted by CtrlAlt n Del on April 21, 2002, at 16:32:49
In reply to where should i discuss it? ;) (nm) » CtrlAlt n Del, posted by Krazy Kat on April 21, 2002, at 15:48:56
K darling KIf you would like to email..my easy dot com has gone caput...haven't been able to access for 2 days ..the swines!
My other email is bluestatic at blueyonder dot co dot uk..
I will resurrect my sex therapist from my dark and promiscious past YORE! YORE! ...if that helps..I promise I'll be serious..I'm different offline ...usually.that's if it's your want.
tangent..
I love honey...not much for chocolate/sweets I bought a pot of this active+ honey, manuka & jellybush (good name for a euro-vision song contestant band)
anyway I'm dipping that spoon in like a demon possessed ..whooooosh the energy!
Also checked my shopping bill (after I shopped)the COST of the treat , xpensive stuff.
xxxxxxxxx
Posted by Kaarina on April 21, 2002, at 17:11:23
In reply to Re: where should i discuss it? ;) » Krazy Kat, posted by CtrlAlt n Del on April 21, 2002, at 16:32:49
Posted by CtrlAlt n Del on April 21, 2002, at 18:41:37
In reply to Re: where should i discuss it? ;) » Krazy Kat, posted by CtrlAlt n Del on April 21, 2002, at 16:32:49
Posted by CtrlAlt n Del on April 21, 2002, at 18:50:31
In reply to On open-chat it's always a welcome topic! (nm), posted by Kaarina on April 21, 2002, at 17:11:23
That your real name willow?
Or shouldn't I ask...
geez zee hypo daze wiv no sleepz..
this my dear is what happens when I miss an efexor , plus a sore throat , or erm the artist shouldn't blame their tools...
spanners I say spanners no! YORE YORE spannerz in zee verkzover n out.
Posted by CtrlAlt n Del on April 21, 2002, at 18:54:07
In reply to Re: where should i discuss it? ;) » Krazy Kat, posted by CtrlAlt n Del on April 21, 2002, at 16:32:49
Posted by CtrlAlt n Del on April 21, 2002, at 19:03:43
In reply to Re: yeh second thoughts .KK..........LE CHAT (nm), posted by CtrlAlt n Del on April 21, 2002, at 18:54:07
Personally I prefer G-Plunkt.
Posted by CtrlAlt n Del on April 21, 2002, at 19:08:26
In reply to Re: G-Plunkt versus the AFE-Zone, posted by CtrlAlt n Del on April 21, 2002, at 19:03:43
Posted by Krazy Kat on April 21, 2002, at 20:07:12
In reply to Re: correction G-Punkt (fraudian sliptz) (nm), posted by CtrlAlt n Del on April 21, 2002, at 19:08:26
i was ON TARGET a week and a half ago or so but have tried about five times in the last few days and miss everytime.
it is me and the star. and what i dislike the most is that when you first log on, you get a smiley face next to your name, and you Think that others are there as well. but then the smiley face mysteriously changes into a star and you're all alone, just like middle school... ;)
Seems per ctrl alt, that mood stabilizers do work. :)
- kk
Posted by CtrlAlt n Del on April 21, 2002, at 20:21:59
In reply to chat - all alone again..., posted by Krazy Kat on April 21, 2002, at 20:07:12
Most have own little secret yahoo chat hide-outs....lights are on but they are at different homes
Changing the subject...
My cats gone missing and a new dirty flea-ridden one is coming in and eating her foodI'll try and go to chat n hang round abit
Posted by Krazy Kat on April 22, 2002, at 8:57:19
In reply to Re: chat - all alone again... » Krazy Kat, posted by CtrlAlt n Del on April 21, 2002, at 20:21:59
Posted by CtrlAlt n Del on April 22, 2002, at 12:04:37
In reply to is your cat back? (nm) » CtrlAlt n Del, posted by Krazy Kat on April 22, 2002, at 8:57:19
This is the end of the thread.
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