![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 15 of 15. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by trouble on March 17, 2002, at 0:07:32
Hey all,
I feel like I want to cry, which I rarely do. An old professor told me crying is a good thing, it means a change is about to come. Then he left me.
It seems everything becomes apparent at once, tho I know nothing does until you're ready to face it, but there's just so much I don't want to know.
But today was a good day, I'm getting my memory back, no major mistakes for the first time in weeks. Thanks to Mark and Cam W. for the Wellbutrin red flag.
The major, killing problem is still this entrenched chaos and anxiety I get around people I'm cleaning and today I was becoming agitated, misplacing things, running my hands thru my hair, walking in circles w/ disturbed looks on my face and I knew it was just abundant and superficial confusion b/c I needed to write down a few lines. So I did. Then the client comes home, goes into the kitchen to get a beer and says what are you doing, and at first I tried to ignore him, then I took a deep breath and said in this tiny, halting, eggshell tone that well, I am an artist and I needed to take a time-out to create my art.
And he goes, "So, you're making me a list?"
Right you son of a bitch, you need ajax and paper towels and 409 and HE WASN'T EVEN LISTENING TO ME! That's a paddlin. A Bad Game. But it was too funny to get mad about. He was just making conversation, I guess, but I thought he was asking me to explain myself. I wish everyone just made conversation.Otherwise I don't know if this new sincerity is going to work. If you want to live your life w/out conforming to established norms, and still like yourself I don't see how you can do this w/out being a prick. But being a prick makes you not like yourself worse. You have to come up w/some way to help people out. But the reassurance has to be swift and subtle, w/out calling attentionn to itself. Unfamiliarity creates arousal in rich people, and I don't want to arouse anyone, rich or poor over bullshit. If they only had some place they could put me, a slot, we could be done w/it and go about our separate business. I'm always going to be a thought-disordered freak, so I figure instead of being nebulous and undefined, I'd throw my lot in w/ the bohemians so then the mundanes can go oh she's just one of those harmles, free-spirited deluded "artists" Austin is so famous for. And all the scrutiny and suspicion will come to an end. Does this make sense?
But it's no good, we're back to the same problem, right back to stratification. I saw some fresh ideas on that this week, things I'd never seen before, I took notes somewhere, under all these papers and bills and shit. You know what? FUCK stratification. Atlas shrugged, you know? Who cares? My economics professor would care. I'm always beholden to my teachers since I'm the star pupil, in every class teachers pet but that's just b/c no one else in the room takes their ideas seriously. They say I'm the kind of student that makes their job worthwhile and I'm the best student they ever had. The crying professor I mentioned, when I told him I'd read his thesis he said "Even I didn't do that." They never really talk about the quality of my thinking, except to say you lost me trouble sit down have a seat lets look at your notes. I guess that's ok, they want to hone my cognition to a steel blade. But you'd think the star pupil would get back a few papers w/excited red penmanship screaming across the top, something along the lines of MY GOD, TROUBLE! WHAT AN IMPOSING EDIFICE OF THOUGHT IS THIS!!!
I have some nice replies here though, I looked at all of them Thursday, but now they seem too nice, seeing the word "sensitive" here and there,
"What a SENSITIVE interpretation of the Pythagorean Theory, Ms.Plan I nearly wept. I showed that to an ex-boyfriend once and he grew pensive. Now I know why.
Star spelled backwards spells rats professor. Pathetic Rats Student, I don't want to know this but it's right in front of me, all the attention they give me for nothin, just hoping I'll learn someday how to fight my way out of a wet paper bag.
Isn't it poignant... I wouldn't have these dilapadated mental processes if I wasn't so intelligent. Why would I be such a hound for data if I was incapable of understanding it? But papers or no, in the long run all I have is my own intellect and that means it's on me to get rid of this stratification. We didn't have this where I grew up, everyone in my neighborhood had ONE bathroom, anyone w/2 bathrooms in their house meant they were loaded. I cleaned a house w/5 bathrooms last week. Ever since the economy went down the toilet most of my clients have been filthy rich, I'm around them too much, but I no longer hate them. I've gone through most of their portfolios and my economics professor was right, the elite do siphon off an impressive chunk of their income into philanthropic and charitable concerns. I'm sure they're as conflicted about economic inequality as they can comfortably be. I'm a white woman working in white womens houses, I can't imagine what it would be like if I was Hispanic and spoke broken English. It seems my biggest problem is all this self-esteem, I'm not servile and I do laugh at their reading material, but I'm circumspect about it. I know words like circumspect, otherwise they'd probably have me hanged. They can do that you know. It wouldn't be the first time.
But even I, paradigm of self-worth spent my February days calling expensive etiquette schools, just trying to make the best of a bad situation. But that's not me. What would Jesus do? Blow His Top, I bet, what a mouth that man had on Him.
I wish Lou was here. Sometimes I think Lou Pilder's a genius, and the whole Dr.Bob Crown of Life thing is just his vehicle for teaching us the only truly pertinent lesson in life. Don't ask me what that might be. I'm not an oracle, but I play one on PB.
This seems like a good time to close w/ my version of the heartfelt declamation some of you have been waiting for. I think waiting is a beautiful thing. If you don't understand that statement it boils down to the question, what are you going to do with it?
There's been talk concerning my big personality and manner of speaking, they've been cited for ambiguity, for being loathsome and disturbing, it's been said that I have put my psychosis on fellow members and that I need to apologize for it.
I apologize for putting my psychosis on fellow board members. Nobody here is trying to go backwards, if I've contributed to that in anyone it wasn't be design. My mental problems are probably real and they're probably going to be with me awhile. I've never denied being a fuckin nut. The ambition and ambiguity will most likely stick as well. What to do, what to do...
I'm a firm believer that offense is in the taking, and luck be with us, you can take me or leave me. There's sure to be another train wreck just down the road.
love,
trouble
Posted by Ritch on March 17, 2002, at 2:37:11
In reply to train, wreck, posted by trouble on March 17, 2002, at 0:07:32
> Hey all,
>
> I feel like I want to cry, which I rarely do. An old professor told me crying is a good thing, it means a change is about to come. Then he left me.
>
> It seems everything becomes apparent at once, tho I know nothing does until you're ready to face it, but there's just so much I don't want to know.
>
> But today was a good day, I'm getting my memory back, no major mistakes for the first time in weeks. Thanks to Mark and Cam W. for the Wellbutrin red flag.
>
> The major, killing problem is still this entrenched chaos and anxiety I get around people I'm cleaning and today I was becoming agitated, misplacing things, running my hands thru my hair, walking in circles w/ disturbed looks on my face and I knew it was just abundant and superficial confusion b/c I needed to write down a few lines. So I did. Then the client comes home, goes into the kitchen to get a beer and says what are you doing, and at first I tried to ignore him, then I took a deep breath and said in this tiny, halting, eggshell tone that well, I am an artist and I needed to take a time-out to create my art.
> And he goes, "So, you're making me a list?"
> Right you son of a bitch, you need ajax and paper towels and 409 and HE WASN'T EVEN LISTENING TO ME! That's a paddlin. A Bad Game. But it was too funny to get mad about. He was just making conversation, I guess, but I thought he was asking me to explain myself. I wish everyone just made conversation.
>
> Otherwise I don't know if this new sincerity is going to work. If you want to live your life w/out conforming to established norms, and still like yourself I don't see how you can do this w/out being a prick. But being a prick makes you not like yourself worse. You have to come up w/some way to help people out. But the reassurance has to be swift and subtle, w/out calling attentionn to itself. Unfamiliarity creates arousal in rich people, and I don't want to arouse anyone, rich or poor over bullshit. If they only had some place they could put me, a slot, we could be done w/it and go about our separate business. I'm always going to be a thought-disordered freak, so I figure instead of being nebulous and undefined, I'd throw my lot in w/ the bohemians so then the mundanes can go oh she's just one of those harmles, free-spirited deluded "artists" Austin is so famous for. And all the scrutiny and suspicion will come to an end. Does this make sense?
>
> But it's no good, we're back to the same problem, right back to stratification. I saw some fresh ideas on that this week, things I'd never seen before, I took notes somewhere, under all these papers and bills and shit. You know what? FUCK stratification. Atlas shrugged, you know? Who cares? My economics professor would care. I'm always beholden to my teachers since I'm the star pupil, in every class teachers pet but that's just b/c no one else in the room takes their ideas seriously. They say I'm the kind of student that makes their job worthwhile and I'm the best student they ever had. The crying professor I mentioned, when I told him I'd read his thesis he said "Even I didn't do that." They never really talk about the quality of my thinking, except to say you lost me trouble sit down have a seat lets look at your notes. I guess that's ok, they want to hone my cognition to a steel blade. But you'd think the star pupil would get back a few papers w/excited red penmanship screaming across the top, something along the lines of MY GOD, TROUBLE! WHAT AN IMPOSING EDIFICE OF THOUGHT IS THIS!!!
> I have some nice replies here though, I looked at all of them Thursday, but now they seem too nice, seeing the word "sensitive" here and there,
> "What a SENSITIVE interpretation of the Pythagorean Theory, Ms.Plan I nearly wept. I showed that to an ex-boyfriend once and he grew pensive. Now I know why.
> Star spelled backwards spells rats professor. Pathetic Rats Student, I don't want to know this but it's right in front of me, all the attention they give me for nothin, just hoping I'll learn someday how to fight my way out of a wet paper bag.
> Isn't it poignant... I wouldn't have these dilapadated mental processes if I wasn't so intelligent. Why would I be such a hound for data if I was incapable of understanding it? But papers or no, in the long run all I have is my own intellect and that means it's on me to get rid of this stratification. We didn't have this where I grew up, everyone in my neighborhood had ONE bathroom, anyone w/2 bathrooms in their house meant they were loaded. I cleaned a house w/5 bathrooms last week. Ever since the economy went down the toilet most of my clients have been filthy rich, I'm around them too much, but I no longer hate them. I've gone through most of their portfolios and my economics professor was right, the elite do siphon off an impressive chunk of their income into philanthropic and charitable concerns. I'm sure they're as conflicted about economic inequality as they can comfortably be. I'm a white woman working in white womens houses, I can't imagine what it would be like if I was Hispanic and spoke broken English. It seems my biggest problem is all this self-esteem, I'm not servile and I do laugh at their reading material, but I'm circumspect about it. I know words like circumspect, otherwise they'd probably have me hanged. They can do that you know. It wouldn't be the first time.
> But even I, paradigm of self-worth spent my February days calling expensive etiquette schools, just trying to make the best of a bad situation. But that's not me. What would Jesus do? Blow His Top, I bet, what a mouth that man had on Him.
> I wish Lou was here. Sometimes I think Lou Pilder's a genius, and the whole Dr.Bob Crown of Life thing is just his vehicle for teaching us the only truly pertinent lesson in life. Don't ask me what that might be. I'm not an oracle, but I play one on PB.
>
>
> This seems like a good time to close w/ my version of the heartfelt declamation some of you have been waiting for. I think waiting is a beautiful thing. If you don't understand that statement it boils down to the question, what are you going to do with it?
> There's been talk concerning my big personality and manner of speaking, they've been cited for ambiguity, for being loathsome and disturbing, it's been said that I have put my psychosis on fellow members and that I need to apologize for it.
> I apologize for putting my psychosis on fellow board members. Nobody here is trying to go backwards, if I've contributed to that in anyone it wasn't be design. My mental problems are probably real and they're probably going to be with me awhile. I've never denied being a fuckin nut. The ambition and ambiguity will most likely stick as well. What to do, what to do...
> I'm a firm believer that offense is in the taking, and luck be with us, you can take me or leave me. There's sure to be another train wreck just down the road.
>
>
> love,
> troubleTrouble, I appreciate your insights working for the "ruling class". Given your personal experience and intuition, do they feel alienated from the rest of society and *wish* they didn't feel so alienated, or can they "afford" to be apathetic? What is the skinny on how they feel about the world? Have you ever had what you considered to be a genuine conversation with *one* who spilled their guts about how they relate to the rest of the world and how it troubles or pleases them? I know that us worker bees are alienated to some degree every day, I think mainly from specialization of job functions. I liken it to being a decent guitar player, but the fun is lost because you wind up just being a stenographer and that ratatatat programs your brain and turns you into an OCDisordered robot that requires meds to chill out. Eighty percent of the people that I work with are on psych meds to prevent them from either panicking, punching the boss, or crying all day. The meds get added-people can "deal" with the stress better....and MORE gets added on, and you wind up in a similar situation later on. One coworker I know is a very strong person, and the other day he just said-"you know, I just need to get something prescribed so I can get through this every day." Never expected to hear it. Not that I am antimed. I NEED meds. There is just something that is harmful about moving from a situation with lots of control (with good and bad results to take responsiblity for) such as running a family farm and then sitting in front of a CRT tube 50 hrs a week. At first I just felt like I was coming out of a movie theatre when I got off work. That lessened and lessened and now I am conditioned to that and do not even notice it. Now, I get all of this PTSD-like ruminations about all of the nonsensical logical gibberish that I went through for the previous day or two while I am trying to sleep-talk to a friend, etc. I worked outside my house the other day on a day off and heard the Spring birds for the first time-a wonderful improvisational chaos that completley changed the way I feel. Vacations just aren't going to fix it. I have got to get back to athletic/visual/right-brained type work to heal myself up and get back to where I used to be. We are killing ourselves to live in many ways. Gee, "tune-in" and "drop-out" are getting pretty interesting airplay in my head lately. It could be bad judgement-could it be psychosis? Anyway, here is an interesting book that I got a knock-out history professor to break her chalk when I mentioned it. You have probably already checked it out.
"Madness and Civilization" (A History of Insanity in the Age of Reason).Mitch
Posted by Zo on March 17, 2002, at 3:15:15
In reply to train, wreck, posted by trouble on March 17, 2002, at 0:07:32
I see this as another page in the book. You are *clearly* not the best judge of what is psychotic. Few writers are.
Lemme give you a tip: the nouveau riche are disgusting. All you need to get by is to be is shallow and talk about nothing at all;, it is a kindness to them. Otherwise, you might make them think, and that is not part of the bargain.
If you tell me you are posting all this stuff and forgetting about it, not keeping copies, I will send someone named Vito to Austin, especially to see you.
I used to think I was a train wreck all the time. That's what I'd been taught by hugely untalented people I happened to be married to. Flipped that one on its ass... .
Posted by ST on March 17, 2002, at 3:52:06
In reply to Re: train, wreck » trouble, posted by Zo on March 17, 2002, at 3:15:15
trouble,
Just keep on being your wise and wounded self. You are a delightful addition to this board. There is goodness at your heart and you mean no harm. We're all looking for something by being on this board. All we can do is let it all hang out.
Sarah
Posted by trouble on March 17, 2002, at 3:53:17
In reply to Re: train, wreck..alienation? » trouble, posted by Ritch on March 17, 2002, at 2:37:11
>
> Trouble, I appreciate your insights working for the "ruling class".And I appreciate you opening your head to me Mitch and letting me take a stroll in there. Did you write your note in one sitting, just ratatatat, freestyle? It's a beautiful outpouring, one spirit to another.
>> Given your personal experience and intuition, do they feel alienated from the rest of society and *wish* they didn't feel so alienated, or can they "afford" to be apathetic? What is the skinny on how they feel about the world? Have you ever had what you considered to be a genuine conversation with *one* who spilled their guts about how they relate to the rest of the world and how it troubles or pleases them?
Well Mitch, this is a book. Or at least it should be. My wealthiest client is one of the most decent human beings I've ever met, I didn't think it was possible, IT FUCKED ME UP, but there you go. He's Greek God beautiful, top of his class Harvard, has seratonin coming out of his ears, big anti-arparthied activist in college years, smells like an enchanted forest, and Decorum? Up the ASS. Civility? Makes Dr. Bob look like son of Ayn Rand and Rasputin. I know the dude as well as can be expected, I've worked 15 hours a week for him for the past 2 years. He's had an unfailing and thoroughly unwarranted faith in me that's done more for my character than someone like me should expect to be borne. He's a venture capitalist, money money money. We are against everything the other person stands for, but I know I love him, and I'm sure he has some appropriately WASPISH terminology to characterize his fondness for me. People want to be near him, he is sincere, and charasmatic, and totally caring, all of which is immediate. He's also tormented in that brooding male fear of vulnerability style we broads find so charming. It took me a long time to get my head around this package, and I never include him in my railings against the elites, I assume he's an exception to the rule, but I have to wonder, how many multi-millionaires do I service? Uh, just him. But I read alot.
>>I know that us worker bees are alienated to some degree every day, I think mainly from specialization of job functions.
Yup, and everyone knows this. But the business of America is business, and if that makes us American machines well, too bad, we have our priorities to consider.>> I liken it to being a decent guitar player, but the fun is lost because you wind up just being a stenographer and that ratatatat programs your brain and turns you into an OCDisordered robot that requires meds to chill out. Eighty percent of the people that I work with are on psych meds to prevent them from either panicking, punching the boss, or crying all day. The meds get added-people can "deal" with the stress better....and MORE gets added on, and you wind up in a similar situation later on. One coworker I know is a very strong person, and the other day he just said-"you know, I just need to get something prescribed so I can get through this every day." Never expected to hear it. Not that I am antimed. I NEED meds. There is just something that is harmful about moving from a situation with lots of control (with good and bad results to take responsiblity for) such as running a family farm and then sitting in front of a CRT tube 50 hrs a week.
This is great rollicking spontaneous writing. Salud!
>> At first I just felt like I was coming out of a movie theatre when I got off work. That lessened and lessened and now I am conditioned to that and do not even notice it. Now, I get all of this PTSD-like ruminations about all of the nonsensical logical gibberish that I went through for the previous day or two while I am trying to sleep-talk to a friend, etc.
Sleeptalk to a friend. It listens.
>> I worked outside my house the other day on a day off and heard the Spring birds for the first time-a wonderful improvisational chaos that completley changed the way I feel.
Thank God you can feel something by hearing birds and then recognize the meaning of its absence in our everyday life. I think it's pretty effing meaningful...
>>Vacations just aren't going to fix it. I have got to get back to athletic/visual/right-brained type work to heal myself up and get back to where I used to be. We are killing ourselves to live in many ways. Gee, "tune-in" and "drop-out" are getting pretty interesting airplay in my head lately.
What kind of work do you do right now?
>>It could be bad judgement-could it be psychosis?
Our environment, Mitch, including most people in it are precursers, if not carriers of psychosis. The absence of psychosis is more remarkable than its presence, everywhere, everyday.
>>Is there anything other than psychosis Anyway,
Whoops, looks like you done already got that covered and in fewer words to boot!>>here is an interesting book that I got a knock-out history professor to break her chalk when I mentioned it. You have probably already checked it out.
"Madness and Civilization" (A History of Insanity in the Age of Reason).
Hmmm...interesting author. My psychologist doesn't want me reading him. He's taken an unusually HARD stand against me reading him. But one of my best and most loving friends is a Foucault scholar, and I wonder what she gets out of him. Isn't he kind of hateful and negative? Let's ask Kid_A! He knows everything!
trouble
Posted by trouble on March 17, 2002, at 4:45:20
In reply to Re: train, wreck » trouble, posted by Zo on March 17, 2002, at 3:15:15
sanity wants to say thanks friends for helping her find her way back home. Now where's the goddamn leash?
trollop
Posted by Krazy Kat on March 17, 2002, at 13:32:01
In reply to Re: train, wreck..alienation? » trouble, posted by Ritch on March 17, 2002, at 2:37:11
Mitch:
That's the most I've ever seen you post. You are so eloquent and helpful - you just hit everything right on the nose.
I worked in Electronic Publishing for about 9 years (plus some print). I didn't mind the cubicle in my NYC office so much, b/c I had a beautiful view and when I went out for lunch I was in the city I love.
But, the concept always wore me down. I would hide in the closet on Sundays and just hope to fall asleep soon so I could avoid the stress.
When I worked for an ad firm, I cried walking up the stairs in the morning.
Think that would have been a sign, wouldn't you? Well, I was filled with the concepts of "responsibilty" and "loyalty" - not that those are bad, but taken out of context, they can be deadly.
Now I'm trying (eventually) to buy a small farm in mid-state NY. I thought the isolation of Woodstock would kill me - I have come to love it. I have so much more control over who I see, what I do.
Tell us about your farm life if you ever feel inclined - I would be fascinated.
Hope you're doing well.
- KK
Posted by Ritch on March 17, 2002, at 22:02:23
In reply to Re: train, wreck..alienation?, posted by trouble on March 17, 2002, at 3:53:17
Posted by Ritch on March 17, 2002, at 22:31:04
In reply to Re: train, wreck..alienation? » Ritch, posted by Krazy Kat on March 17, 2002, at 13:32:01
> Mitch:
>
> That's the most I've ever seen you post. You are so eloquent and helpful - you just hit everything right on the nose.I just started some SAM-e, BTW. :-)
I really really would like to learn to drive bulldozers or those raspy gravel trucks. Several cousins drive trucks. Several cousins also run bulldozers. Used to go with them to pick up wheat on Indian reservations in South Dakota or cottonseeds in Mississippi (they all hauled feed grains of one kind or another-cottonseed, corn, wheat, etc.) They are also kind of inattentive and hyper and are perfectly happy roaming all over the country. When I sold liquor while I went to college I knew a couple that were truck drivers that both had college degrees. They just used the truck driving to pay the bills-they drove as a team-and the other, when not driving would work on their *books*.>
> I worked in Electronic Publishing for about 9 years (plus some print). I didn't mind the cubicle in my NYC office so much, b/c I had a beautiful view and when I went out for lunch I was in the city I love.Visual stuff makes a BIG difference. By the time I got out of school I was wanting to go for a BFA in graphic design, but I was stuck on a technology track instead. But that's OK. I yam, where I yam.
>
> But, the concept always wore me down. I would hide in the closet on Sundays and just hope to fall asleep soon so I could avoid the stress.
>
> When I worked for an ad firm, I cried walking up the stairs in the morning.
> Think that would have been a sign, wouldn't you? Well, I was filled with the concepts of "responsibilty" and "loyalty" - not that those are bad, but taken out of context, they can be deadly.
Yes, I have had "signs" like that for a couple of years now. Just continue to ignore them. Need to put money in the 401K. Need some health insurance to pay for meds and treatment. That is the *trick* about the USA and our economy. You don't get "let off the hook" if you are sick. You get fastened onto the moaning wheel of death and you will grind your grain!>
> Now I'm trying (eventually) to buy a small farm in mid-state NY. I thought the isolation of Woodstock would kill me - I have come to love it. I have so much more control over who I see, what I do.
It really all boils down to control and manipulation. If you are lucky to have a sane unmanipulative boss that trusts your judgement and values your work-then things aren't so bad.>
> Tell us about your farm life if you ever feel inclined - I would be fascinated.My family are all a bunch of hayseeds, redknecks, whatever. They all flocked to the cities during WWII to make ammunition. They liked the money, stability, and security and most stayed there. But some wanted to go back, including my parents. I lived in the hills the fist few years (which I barely remember), then we went back to the city. My Dad got paranoid about my sister's friends and drugs and race riots and we moved back to the country when I was 12. My sister hated it-but I LOVED it. One of my favorite (and few) radio stations that I could get was WLS Chicago (in the 70's). I also used to like to listen to "Beaker Street" from the the Little Rock AM clear channel station-can't think of the call letters now.
>
> Hope you're doing well.
>
> - KK
Not doing too bad, thank you. Things are somewhat lively right now. Nothing really menacing or sad-which says a lot!Mitch
Posted by trouble on March 18, 2002, at 0:07:47
In reply to Re: train, wreck..alienation, cities, hamlets » Krazy Kat , posted by Ritch on March 17, 2002, at 22:31:04
Posted by trouble on March 18, 2002, at 3:51:24
In reply to I loved WLS too! (nm), posted by trouble on March 18, 2002, at 0:07:47
Posted by Dinah on March 18, 2002, at 18:36:44
In reply to train, wreck, posted by trouble on March 17, 2002, at 0:07:32
>
> This seems like a good time to close w/ my version of the heartfelt declamation some of you have been waiting for. I think waiting is a beautiful thing. If you don't understand that statement it boils down to the question, what are you going to do with it?
> There's been talk concerning my big personality and manner of speaking, they've been cited for ambiguity, for being loathsome and disturbing, it's been said that I have put my psychosis on fellow members and that I need to apologize for it.
> I apologize for putting my psychosis on fellow board members. Nobody here is trying to go backwards, if I've contributed to that in anyone it wasn't be design. My mental problems are probably real and they're probably going to be with me awhile. I've never denied being a fuckin nut. The ambition and ambiguity will most likely stick as well. What to do, what to do...
> I'm a firm believer that offense is in the taking, and luck be with us, you can take me or leave me. There's sure to be another train wreck just down the road.
>
>
> love,
> troubleTrouble,
Perhaps I'm being presumptuous here. If so, please forgive me. Perhaps I'm taking things too seriously, in which I ask you to forgive me as well.
There is certainly no need to apologize to me. I thought I made it clear that I didn't in any way blame you. I take full responsibility for my own psychosis, thank you.
You say that we started as friends; I hope that we are still friends. I certainly harbor no unfriendly feelings towards you and have always retained an enjoyment of your posts. It makes me sad to see you take such a negative attitude towards yourself. You started on the board that way, with your "I'm cutting down on acting out" post, continued with a few other posts, including that post about mental midgets, and your last few posts have seemed in keeping with that theme. Yet your actual behavior on the board hasn't seemed consistent with the view you paint of yourself.
I think that maybe you should tell your psychiatrist exactly what you've been been doing with PSB. It can be a powerful thing, this board, for bad as well as good. And it's power probably shouldn't be unleashed without a trained professional being aware and standing by if needed. My therapist says the internet is a huge blank screen onto which all sorts of projections can be made. And apparently that can lead to problems in susceptible individuals. (Freud again - don't ask me). Maybe this doesn't have anything to do with the strong feelings you've been feeling lately, but I inferred from your posts that you connect them with PSB. So if my therapist's Freudian musings mean anything to you, I'm happy to share them. And if this post is totally off the mark, please feel free to ignore it.
Your perhaps overly earnest friend,
Dinah
Posted by Dinah on March 18, 2002, at 19:07:29
In reply to Re: Blank slate » trouble, posted by Dinah on March 18, 2002, at 18:36:44
Posted by Zo on March 18, 2002, at 21:05:50
In reply to Re: Blank slate » trouble, posted by Dinah on March 18, 2002, at 18:36:44
Dinah, dear heart, what thread are you on?!
Zo
Posted by Dinah on March 18, 2002, at 21:15:23
In reply to Re: Blank slate, posted by Zo on March 18, 2002, at 21:05:50
This is the end of the thread.
Psycho-Babble Social | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
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