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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 17 of 17. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by tensor on November 12, 2001, at 17:15:41
Hi,
Does anyone have problems with talking in front of people and talking person to person? I'm not talking about the common fear that nearly everybody possess. I have Panic disorder and get treatment for that, Buspar 20mg/day and it helps my anxiety/PD pretty well but the talking problem remains unsolved. This problem arised concurrently with the PD. This is a big problem for me since i'm studying, and to do a presentation is impossible since I completely panic. I have diazepam prescribed for me, but even diazepam falls short when it comes to presentation.
This problem is, for me, a bit strange since i'm a rather social person. I don't know what to do, does anyone recognize this?
I would really appreciate someone to share experiences with...
Posted by sar on November 12, 2001, at 19:46:32
In reply to Talking(in front of people), posted by tensor on November 12, 2001, at 17:15:41
dear tensor,
have you ever heard of social anxiety/social phobia? it is characterized by an irrational fear of embarrassing oneself. there's some information about it on this site, as well as many others.
i onced dropped a class in college that called for a partnered oral presentation lasting 15-20 minutes. i felt there was no way i could actually seek a partner out, work with this stranger, then stand in front of 30 students and a prof for half an hour. i dropped the class.
prior to getting on medication, i'd suddenly sometimes be caught off-guard by a talkative counterperson at the gas station or bookstore, wanting to know about my brand of cigs or choice of reading material. i always kept my answers brief, sometimes even felt breathless, then would make my escape feeling gracious (they were stuck behind the counter and couldn't, like, make me pursue the conversation!)
i used to be very afraid of leaving messages on answering machines for fear i'd sound ridiculous. i always kept the message brief so i could hang up ASAP.
i tried cognitive behavioral therapy for awhile years back--the therapist and i would address these irrational fears of mine and talk about them realistically--but that didn't really help me. a combination of prozac (AD) and klonopin (benzo) have helped me immeasurably, though i still sometimes feel nervous talking to a v. cute guy or appearing before a judge for criminal charges, etc etc.
i suggest you research this. it is much more common than you think, and knowledge is power...
best to you,
sar
recovering social phobic
Posted by sar on November 12, 2001, at 23:07:05
In reply to Re: Talking(in front of people) » tensor, posted by sar on November 12, 2001, at 19:46:32
tensor,
i just wanted to add that i'm a fairly sociable person as well...there's nothing i love more than parties, boyfriends, hangin out with folks...but it has become much easier with age, meds, and experience. my advice to you is to keep yourself on your toes--with a social job/life to keep in practice, and meds if you need them (which very well may be the case).
it is difficult to make friends/get a job when yr so inside yr innershell, but there's always a way...if there was a way for me there will be for you...this is an issue close to my heart, because i truly love being around people when i'm, not feeling uncomfortable (physical symptoms of dread, anxiety, sweat, silence, and emotional over-reactineness in that they are judging you in some way.)
i don't know if this is how you feel, but as a highly sociable social phobic i feel i can relate. i'm okay once i get some benzos and merlot going...age also helps. welcome to the board.
sar
Posted by Greg A. on November 13, 2001, at 0:01:35
In reply to Talking(in front of people), posted by tensor on November 12, 2001, at 17:15:41
Tensor,
You have hit a very familiar note with me. I have had big problems with talking in front of people for a long long time. It brings to mind some of the worst experiences of my life.
Sar gives you some very good advice. Do your homework. Find out all you can about this and don't forget to have the medical side checked out. I never remember freezing up in front of a group until I was hyperthyroid. (unknown to me)
Then I couldn't seem to get rid of the anxiety after that.
I find now, when my AD meds are working, I am much better. My job involves some public speaking and while I dread it, I know if I am prepared, I can make it through. As with Sar, Klonopin helps. I try to avoid the merlot, especially at work.Good luck - there are ways around this. You just have to be persistent.
Greg
Posted by tensor on November 13, 2001, at 6:52:40
In reply to Talking(in front of people), posted by tensor on November 12, 2001, at 17:15:41
Hi and thanks,
several people I've discussed this with, says I should try Klonopin or Xanax. Are you taking these meds on a long term basis or just when there is need to?
As with diazepam these meds are habit forming but if it is the only way out..
Diazepam doesn't work well for me, it does keep calm but not calm enough to speak in front of people and it vanishes from body too quickly.
/tensor
Posted by sar on November 13, 2001, at 7:45:43
In reply to Re: Talking(in front of people), posted by tensor on November 13, 2001, at 6:52:40
klonopin is milder but longer-lasting than xanax. some take it "only when needed," i.e., giving a presentation, but i take 1 mg klonopin twice daily.
Greg, your comment about avoiding the merlot "especially at work" cracked me up! i don't want to encourage anyone to drink to diminish anxiety, but it has become my crutch.
tensor, there are some archives on regular PB regarding the addictive nature of benzos. there are many different opinions, but mine is that i don't mind being "addicted" to something that very much improves my quality of life.
Posted by Greg A. on November 13, 2001, at 11:09:06
In reply to Re: Talking(in front of people), posted by sar on November 13, 2001, at 7:45:43
> i don't mind being "addicted" to something that very much improves my quality of life.
Me too Sar. I find the combination of an AD that works and Klonopin very helpful with chronic anxiety. I take 1 mg Klonopin daily as well. Benzos by themselves did not do it for me though. I was too up and down. I need steady. It helps to get my confidence up - that I am not going to be too anxious to function. That's part of the battle.
I'm still giving the merlot a rest but recent stressful events have me dreaming of a good drink or ten though!Greg
Posted by tensor on November 13, 2001, at 12:07:02
In reply to Talking(in front of people), posted by tensor on November 12, 2001, at 17:15:41
Hi again,
sar, I totally agree to what you said about addiction. Quality of life is more important. But my experince with diazepam is that when you have been taking it 3x5mg a day for a couple of days it becomes less and less effective for each day, and you need more and more to achive the same level as the day before. That's not good at all.
Now, is it the same with Klonopin?
Posted by Adam on November 13, 2001, at 20:58:03
In reply to Talking(in front of people), posted by tensor on November 12, 2001, at 17:15:41
Tensor,
I hope this isn't an insensitive time to ask, but I couldn't help noticing your name...Are you a physicist? Do you study General Relativity?
We actually have a club that gets together at work to do presentations for the sole purpose of being a better public speaker. One of the big reasons people do it is to get over performance anxiety. I think this is a pretty common thing. My step-mother, who is as cool as they come most of the time, actually takes Xanax to deal with her public-speaking phobias. I told her to join a journal-club style thing like we have a work, but she just shuddered.
All the same, exposure can be a powerful form of therapy.
> Hi,
>
> Does anyone have problems with talking in front of people and talking person to person? I'm not talking about the common fear that nearly everybody possess. I have Panic disorder and get treatment for that, Buspar 20mg/day and it helps my anxiety/PD pretty well but the talking problem remains unsolved. This problem arised concurrently with the PD. This is a big problem for me since i'm studying, and to do a presentation is impossible since I completely panic. I have diazepam prescribed for me, but even diazepam falls short when it comes to presentation.
> This problem is, for me, a bit strange since i'm a rather social person. I don't know what to do, does anyone recognize this?
> I would really appreciate someone to share experiences with...
Posted by tensor on November 14, 2001, at 8:46:41
In reply to Re: Talking(in front of people), posted by Adam on November 13, 2001, at 20:58:03
Hi,
Adam, fun you noticed that. I'm studying electrical civil engineering.
You're are right, it's much about performance anxiety, but in my case it's also a clinical problem that has to be fixed first. I'm training everyday and done so a couple years now, like talking to teachers, administrators etc. But I have discovered that my ability to maintain a monologue to a person or in front of people hasn't improved over years. So now I'm trying to find the right med for me which is appearently not easy..tensor
> Tensor,
>
> I hope this isn't an insensitive time to ask, but I couldn't help noticing your name...Are you a physicist? Do you study General Relativity?
>
> We actually have a club that gets together at work to do presentations for the sole purpose of being a better public speaker. One of the big reasons people do it is to get over performance anxiety. I think this is a pretty common thing. My step-mother, who is as cool as they come most of the time, actually takes Xanax to deal with her public-speaking phobias. I told her to join a journal-club style thing like we have a work, but she just shuddered.
>
> All the same, exposure can be a powerful form of therapy.
>
>
>
> > Hi,
> >
> > Does anyone have problems with talking in front of people and talking person to person? I'm not talking about the common fear that nearly everybody possess. I have Panic disorder and get treatment for that, Buspar 20mg/day and it helps my anxiety/PD pretty well but the talking problem remains unsolved. This problem arised concurrently with the PD. This is a big problem for me since i'm studying, and to do a presentation is impossible since I completely panic. I have diazepam prescribed for me, but even diazepam falls short when it comes to presentation.
> > This problem is, for me, a bit strange since i'm a rather social person. I don't know what to do, does anyone recognize this?
> > I would really appreciate someone to share experiences with...
Posted by sar on November 14, 2001, at 10:13:47
In reply to Re: Talking(in front of people), posted by tensor on November 13, 2001, at 12:07:02
> Hi again,
>
> sar, I totally agree to what you said about addiction. Quality of life is more important. But my experince with diazepam is that when you have been taking it 3x5mg a day for a couple of days it becomes less and less effective for each day, and you need more and more to achive the same level as the day before. That's not good at all.
>
> Now, is it the same with Klonopin?hmmm....well, i have doubled my dose, but right now i'm working with a slew of meds and experiencing a lot of stress. the double-dose of klon makes me a bit more comfy. i've only been on it since july, so i don't know if i'll require more in a few months.
is your need for a med mostly about performance anxiety, or do you have general anxiety as well? if it's just performance anxiety, i would imagine that you could take it only as needed, rather than on a regular basis.
Posted by tensor on November 14, 2001, at 11:18:05
In reply to Re: Talking(in front of people) » tensor, posted by sar on November 14, 2001, at 10:13:47
I can think I can live with my anxiety as it is now, because of Buspar. But I'm not as free and brave among people/friends as I used to be. Though, I have always had some sort of social phobia, agora phobia or something. The feeling of being uncomfortable among foreigners. But had no problems with presentations in my classroom. Maybe if I started with Klonopin I could get rid of it all. I hope you understand what I'm trying to say, it's not like, if I don't get klonopin then I can't live and I can't be among strangers and meet new people.
It's getting more out my life, and maybe be the one I'm supposed to be. I am a social human being.
I know that neither you nor anyone else have all the answer but it feels good to talk to people who understands you.
/tensor
> hmmm....well, i have doubled my dose, but right now i'm working with a slew of meds and experiencing a lot of stress. the double-dose of klon makes me a bit more comfy. i've only been on it since july, so i don't know if i'll require more in a few months.
>
> is your need for a med mostly about performance anxiety, or do you have general anxiety as well? if it's just performance anxiety, i would imagine that you could take it only as needed, rather than on a regular basis.
Posted by sar on November 14, 2001, at 13:29:09
In reply to Re: Talking(in front of people), posted by tensor on November 14, 2001, at 11:18:05
tensor,
i think i understand what you're saying--you want to be the social being that you are but don't like the uncomfortable anxiety that has developed in social situations.
i think one of the hallmarks of social anxiety is feeling held back--you *want* to talk to the girl but you're scared, you *want to go to that party but are afraid you'll embarrass yourself.
mentally, i am not a withdrawn or shy person...but in reality, without meds, i used to be extremely reticent and frightened.
it wasn't like i couldn't live without the meds, it's just that the anxiety contributed to an already-existing depression.
i don't have any answers, just my own experience to share, and i'm glad we have this board on which to discuss it. have you done any research yet?
sar
Posted by tensor on November 14, 2001, at 15:53:09
In reply to Re: Talking(in front of people) » tensor, posted by sar on November 14, 2001, at 13:29:09
sar,
yes I have researched a lot these years I've been treated for depression/pd.
Everything has been quite good a year or so, but now this autumn I switched university and jumped into a higher grade to continue my education, the reason to why I did so, is that this Un is much bigger and I am able to study courses that else would have been impossible. That's where my problems arised. Everybody in my "class" are complete strangers, and I never thought it would be so difficult to make new friends. I have understood the reason is my social phobia/anxiety, I don't have courage enough to take the step and talk to somebody. It has started to become a real pain, to be so alone...
Posted by sar on November 16, 2001, at 0:37:12
In reply to Re: Talking(in front of people), posted by tensor on November 14, 2001, at 15:53:09
tensor,
i know the feeling. about 3 years ago i transferred from a relatively small commuter university to the largest university in the country. i spent months feeling terrible, dropping classes, so frightened of people.
it has taken me a lot of time, work, and thought to get to where i'm at now (shy, but not scared). most of my friends are pretty extroverted; they approach me, i never really make an effort to strike up a friendship with anyone. i make them do all the work! :) but that's not a good solution...
how did you make friends before? do you feel as if your social anxiety is increasing to the point where it makes life miserable?
if you go through the archives, you'll find alot of threads on this topic...i don't want to be repetitive, 'cos i've told my story before...but in a nutshell, meds have been the best thing for me.
i think you ought to talk to a therapist or psychiatrist about this. what symptoms do you experience? (for example, i get breathless, among other things).
Posted by tensor on November 16, 2001, at 8:03:43
In reply to Re: Talking(in front of people) » tensor, posted by sar on November 16, 2001, at 0:37:12
sar, we really got things in common.
Did you finished your education at the university? I have lot a friends but that is in my home country(that's also where I studied first) where I spend my weekends. I also meet new friends there, but that's because of my old friends, they do the job, if you know what I mean. It's different here where I study, I'm a complete stranger here. Nobody approach me, maybe they think I just look to miserable and sad.
Ok, 'nough said about that.
> how did you make friends before? do you feel as if your social anxiety is increasing to the point where it makes life miserable?
Yes, I do feel so. I had no problems to make friends before I got sick. I've also recently talked to my psychiatrist(she was convinced I suffer from social phobia) and she presribed me clonazepam, which I will start taking at saturday.
The symptoms I experience are sweating, my hands starts to tremble, then i get spasms in my lips and face, I can't breathe and then panic.
Thank you for taking your time to read and answer my posts. It's very kind of you..
/tensor
> tensor,
>
> i know the feeling. about 3 years ago i transferred from a relatively small commuter university to the largest university in the country. i spent months feeling terrible, dropping classes, so frightened of people.
>
> it has taken me a lot of time, work, and thought to get to where i'm at now (shy, but not scared). most of my friends are pretty extroverted; they approach me, i never really make an effort to strike up a friendship with anyone. i make them do all the work! :) but that's not a good solution...
>
> how did you make friends before? do you feel as if your social anxiety is increasing to the point where it makes life miserable?
>
> if you go through the archives, you'll find alot of threads on this topic...i don't want to be repetitive, 'cos i've told my story before...but in a nutshell, meds have been the best thing for me.
>
> i think you ought to talk to a therapist or psychiatrist about this. what symptoms do you experience? (for example, i get breathless, among other things).
Posted by sar on November 19, 2001, at 11:37:48
In reply to Re: Talking(in front of people), posted by tensor on November 16, 2001, at 8:03:43
hey tensor,
have you started the clonazepam yet? how are you feeling?
i haven't finished my university work...a major depressive episode got in the way of that...but i do intend to return next fall (hopefully by then i will be stabilised).
the symptoms you describe are very common. one thing that has helped me is to remember than no one else can see a racing heart or constricting throat. *also,* social anxiety is so common that you've probably met plenty people with it and never even noticed.
i'm glad to talk with you about this, no need to thank me!
best,
sar
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