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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 11 of 11. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Cam W. on May 3, 2001, at 11:11:19
The following was forwarded here by dj:
------- Forwarded message follows -------
The Awakening...
A time comes in your life when you finally get it...
When in the midst of all your fears and insanity you
stop dead in your tracks and somewhere, the voice
inside your head cries out - ENOUGH!Enough fighting and crying, or struggling to hold on.
And, like a child quieting down after a blind tantrum,
your sobs begin to subside, you shudder once or
twice, you blink back your tears and through a
mantle of wet lashes, you begin to look at the world
through new eyes.This is your awakening...
You realize that it's time to stop hoping and waiting
for something to change, or for happiness, safety
and security to come galloping over the next horizon.
You come to terms with the fact that he is not Prince
Charming and you are not Cinderella and that in the
real world, there aren't always fairy tale endings (or
beginnings for that matter) and that any guarantee
of "happily ever after" must begin with you and in the
process, a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect and
that not everyone will always love, appreciate or
approve of who or what you are ... and that's OK.
(They are entitled to their own views and opinions.)
And you learn the importance of loving and
championing yourself and in the process, a sense
of new found confidence is born of self-approval.You stop complaining and blaming other people for
the things they did to you (or didn't do for you) and
you learn that the only thing you can really count on
is the unexpected. You learn that people don't
always say what they mean or mean what they say
and that it's not always about you. So, you learn to
stand on your own and to take care of yourself and
in the process, a sense of safety & security is born
of self-reliance.You stop judging and pointing fingers and you begin
to accept people as they are and to overlook their
shortcomings and human frailties and in the process,
a sense of peace and contentment is born of forgiveness.You realize that much of the way you view yourself
and the world around you, is a result of all the
messages and opinions that have been ingrained
into your psyche. You begin to sift through all the
junk you've been fed about how you should behave,
how you should look and how much you should
weigh, what you should wear and where you should
shop and what you should drive, how and where you
should live and what you should do for a living, who
you should marry and what you should expect of a
marriage, the importance of having and raising
children or what you owe your parents. You learn to
open up to new worlds and different points of view.
You begin reassessing and redefining who you are
and what you really stand for.You learn the difference between wanting and
needing and you begin to discard the doctrines and
values you've outgrown, or should never have bought
into to begin with and in the process, you learn to
with your instincts.You learn that it is truly in giving that we receive
and that there is power and glory in creating and
contributing and you stop maneuvering through life
merely as a "consumer" looking for your next fix.integrity are not the outdated ideals of a bygone
era, but the mortar that holds together the
foundation upon which you must build a life.You learn that you don't know everything; it's not
your job to save the world and that you can't teach
a pig to sing. You learn to distinguish between
guilt and responsibility and the importance of
setting boundaries and learning to say NO. You
learn that the only cross to bear is the one you
choose to carry and that martyrs get burned at
the stake.Then you learn about love. Romantic love and
familial love. How to love, how much to give in
love, when to stop giving and when to walk away.
You learn not to project your needs or your feelings
onto a relationship. You learn that you will not be
more beautiful, more intelligent, more lovable or
important because of the man on your arm or the
child that bears your name.You learn to look at relationships as they really are
to control people, situations and outcomes.You learn that just as people grow and change, so
it is with love; and you learn that you don't have the
right to demand love on your terms, just to make you happy.You learn that alone does not mean lonely. You
look in the mirror and come to terms with the fact
that you will never be a size 5 or a perfect 10 and
you stop trying to compete with the image inside
your head and agonizing over how you "stack up."You also stop working so hard at putting your
feelings aside, smoothing things over and ignoring
your needs. You learn that feelings of entitlement
are perfectly OK and that it is your right, to want
things and to ask for the things that you want and
that sometimes it is necessary to make demands.You come to the realization that you deserve to be
treated with love, kindness, sensitivity and respect
and you won't settle for less. You allow only the
hands of a lover who cherishes you, to glorify you
with his touch and in the process, you internalize
the meaning of self-respect.And you learn that your body really is your temple.
And you begin to care for it and treat it with respect.
You begin eating a balanced diet, drinking more
water and taking more time to exercise. You learn
that fatigue diminishes the spirit and can create
doubt and fear. So you take more time to rest. Just
as food fuels the body, laughter fuels our soul; so
you take more time to laugh and to play.You learn that for the most part in life, you get what
you believe you deserve and that much of life truly
is a self-fulfilling prophecy.You learn that anything worth achieving is worth
working for and that wishing for something to
happen, is different from working toward making it happen.More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve
success you need direction, discipline and
perseverance. You also learn that no one can do it
all alone and that it's OK to risk asking for help.You learn that the only thing you must truly fear is the
great robber baron of all time; FEAR itself. You learn
to step right into and through your fears, because
you know that whatever happens you can handle it
and to give in to fear, is to give away the right to live life on your terms.You learn to fight for your life and not to squander it
living under a cloud of impending doom. You learn
that life isn't always fair, you don't always get what
you think you deserve and that sometimes bad
things happen to unsuspecting, good people. On
these occasions, you learn not to personalize things.
You learn that God isn't punishing you or failing to
answer your prayers; it's just life happening.You learn to deal with evil in its most primal state;
the ego. You learn that negative feelings such as
anger, envy and resentment must be understood
and redirected or they will suffocate the life out of
you and poison the universe that surrounds you.
You learn to admit when you are wrong and to build
bridges instead of walls.
Posted by JahL on May 3, 2001, at 14:07:47
In reply to Food For Thought from dj, posted by Cam W. on May 3, 2001, at 11:11:19
Through plain old living I have learnt all these 'lessons', have come to recognize all the 'truths' you speak of.
I am still *very* depressed.
I think what you are talking about amounts more to common sense than any magical 'awakening'. The learning process starts from day 1. The sort of 'revelation' you refer to sounds faintly religious in its content.
I wonder if this is just yr experience. You seem to suggest it is true for all people, which of course it isn't.
> > You learn that the only thing you must truly fear is the great robber baron of all time; FEAR itself.
I fear nothing, having been on close terms with death for some time.
> >You learn that God isn't punishing you or failing to answer your prayers; it's just life happening.
We agree on something! I wld however question the existence of *any* 'gOD'. ;-)
J.
Posted by JahL on May 3, 2001, at 14:33:38
In reply to Food For Thought from dj, posted by Cam W. on May 3, 2001, at 11:11:19
If this *was* yr experience dj, it sounds v much to me (tho I'm not implying it *is*) like yr std remission from depression. Most depressions will remit with time, & it can come about quite suddenly.
Let me explain. When SSRIs brought about euthymia in me for the 1st time in my life, it was a truly revelatory experience. For the 1st time in my life I felt positive emotion & could see the way ahead clearly. It was an awakening of sorts; an emotional one. However it was the remission of the depression that conferred upon me this awakening, & not the other way round as you have implied in this, & many previous posts.
Just my opinion tho', based upon my experience, & those of the many mentally-ill people I have come to know over the yrs.
J.
Posted by Shar on May 3, 2001, at 22:33:22
In reply to PS..., posted by JahL on May 3, 2001, at 14:33:38
>When SSRIs brought about euthymia in me for the 1st time in my life, it was a truly revelatory experience.
Wow, can I ever relate to this idea. I still remember where I was when my Zoloft kicked in. (I am sure it kicked in slowly, but I didn't feel it before that moment.)
It made me feel jaw-dropping amazement; I took an inventory: energy, more talkative, less introverted, much less depressed, looking forward to something, no cloud of doom pressing down on me. It was breathtaking.
I also remember exactly where I was when I realized that this must be how "normal" people feel most of the time! That was almost too much to believe, that someone could feel that way, most of the time, with no particular effort or machinations on their part. Wow again.
Shar
Posted by Kingfish on May 4, 2001, at 9:22:12
In reply to Re: PS... » JahL, posted by Shar on May 3, 2001, at 22:33:22
> >I'm going through this sort of "awakening" right now - on mood stabilizers and an AD for BP II.
It's funny, none of this seems like common sense to me, I guess because I never learned them (?). Or more likely I ignored because of my self destructive behavior.
Anyhow, it's so helpful to hear others have this experience, but so sad to hear it reverted back to pain.
I hope you both find something else to help soon.
- K.
Posted by JahL on May 4, 2001, at 15:13:46
In reply to Re: PS... » JahL, posted by Shar on May 3, 2001, at 22:33:22
> > >When SSRIs brought about euthymia in me for the 1st time in my life, it was a truly revelatory experience.
Should've said 'revelational'!
> > I still remember where I was when my Zoloft kicked in. It was breathtaking. I also remember exactly where I was when I realized that this must be how "normal" people feel most of the time!
How mind-blowing was this?
Being chronically depressed+ADD all my life I've frequently gone in search of highs; car-surfing, sky-diving, bungee, mad drug cocktails. I've had experiences on LSD & Ketamine that were truly life-changing (now well in the past!.) Complete dissolution of the ego is a powerful lesson. Just feeling 'normal' was more exhilarating than all of this combined. Couldn't have imagined what I was missing out on.
> >That was almost too much to believe, that someone could feel that way, most of the time, with no particular effort or machinations on their part. Wow again.
Exactly.
> >Shar
> It's funny, none of this seems like common sense to me, I guess because I never learned them (?). Or more likely I ignored because of my self destructive behavior.Sorry. My main pdoc described me as the most rational person he's ever met. I've just never had any trouble sussing life. It probably helps that I had a 'happy', grounded upbringing & have never got caught up in religion & the like. Also being an introspective depressive gives me a unique perspective on life. I've seen it from both sides. I realise others have had it different.
I do have destructive urges (but also, fortunately, immense self-control) as is evidenced by 5 broken knuckles & a 6" scar on my hands. Alcohol played a significant role in most of the incidents...
> I hope you both find something else to help soon.
> - K.Ta,
Jah.
Posted by willow on May 6, 2001, at 19:30:03
In reply to Food For Thought from dj, posted by Cam W. on May 3, 2001, at 11:11:19
Is dj's computer down?
Willow
ps the board is quiet without his posts
Posted by JahL on May 6, 2001, at 21:42:28
In reply to Re: shar, kingfish., posted by JahL on May 4, 2001, at 15:13:46
What the f*ck is going on?3 days ago I respond to dj's post. dj, it seems to me is (Dr) Richard O'Conner's unofficial spokesman for this site.
3 days later I get an e-mail (to an old, practically obselete address I've only ever posted here. Some sad f*ck has obviously trawled through the posts for my addr.) from an anonymous hotmail a/c, entitled "Best Advice Ever". Inside I'm told that all I have to do to transform my life is visit O'Conner's 'Undoing Depression' site.
I've visited the site before & basically it's a load of psychobabble mumbo-jumbo quack bullshit. Seems to be based on (Dr) Paul Hauck's assertion that depression is caused by 'self-blame', 'self-pity' or 'other-pity'. Yeah right..."Learn to love yourself, talk through yr problems", basic common-sense stuff. Only he (O'Conner) charges for dispensing it.
How ethical is it to directly contact mentally-ill people for financial gain (the site sells a tawdry little 'self-help' book), especially when this is directly connected to their illness?
I'm accusing no-one but I have my suspicions. I suspect the person reads this site so I will respond here only. Go f*ck yourself. Don't waste yr time. I can see right through that mealy-mouthed psychological crap. Don't care how well-meaning O'Conner is. Don't care at all.
What do others think about this direct-sell? Maybe I'm over-reacting but I have an all-consuming temper that lies in wait for this type of crap.
Yrs in anger,
Jaaah.PS. Doc Bob-sorry for the tone of this but I'm as incensed as I wld be if say, GlaxoWellcome, e-mailed me to see if I'd be interested in trying some Lamictal.
PPS. For a healthy dose of common sense/rationality, I strongly recommend to anyone the rec'd works of the comedian BILL HICKS, I-IV. Especially 'Rant in E-Minor'. This AIN'T advertising; the guy's (sadly) dead. Shame, cos he was the greatest comedian/preacher/social commentator of his time.
Posted by stjames on May 7, 2001, at 0:51:47
In reply to Re: PS... » JahL, posted by Shar on May 3, 2001, at 22:33:22
> Wow, can I ever relate to this idea. I still remember where I was when my Zoloft kicked in. (I am sure it kicked in slowly, but I didn't feel it before that moment.)
>james here.....
It was 10:46 AM, June 5, 1985. Sitting at my desk
in a boring student worker job. Wham, it hit me, the AD kicked in ! I used to feel like this ! This is what normal is like, I had forgotten !James
Posted by JahL on May 7, 2001, at 13:11:28
In reply to Re: PS..., posted by stjames on May 7, 2001, at 0:51:47
> > Wow, can I ever relate to this idea. I still remember where I was when my Zoloft kicked in. (I am sure it kicked in slowly, but I didn't feel it before that moment.)
> james here.....
> It was 10:46 AM, June 5, 1985. Sitting at my desk in a boring student worker job. Wham, it hit me, the AD kicked in !You had a head start on me. Mine was on the morning of the 29th of June 1998. I knew as soon as I spoke to the first person for the day; I actually 'felt' like I wanted to talk.
> I used to feel like this ! This is what normal is like, I had forgotten !
I'd *never* felt like that!
J.
Posted by Dr. Bob on May 9, 2001, at 9:51:47
In reply to SOMEONE HELP ME HERE..., posted by JahL on May 6, 2001, at 21:42:28
> PS. Doc Bob-sorry for the tone of this but I'm as incensed as I wld be if say, GlaxoWellcome, e-mailed me to see if I'd be interested in trying some Lamictal.
Sorry, but if you do that again, I'll need to try to block you from posting. In general, it's better at least to wait to post if you're incensed by something. Thanks,
Bob
PS: Follow-ups regarding being incensed (or being blocked), if not redirected to Psycho-Babble Administration, may be deleted.
This is the end of the thread.
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