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Re: shar, kingfish.

Posted by JahL on May 4, 2001, at 15:13:46

In reply to Re: PS... » JahL, posted by Shar on May 3, 2001, at 22:33:22

> > >When SSRIs brought about euthymia in me for the 1st time in my life, it was a truly revelatory experience.

Should've said 'revelational'!

> > I still remember where I was when my Zoloft kicked in. It was breathtaking. I also remember exactly where I was when I realized that this must be how "normal" people feel most of the time!

How mind-blowing was this?

Being chronically depressed+ADD all my life I've frequently gone in search of highs; car-surfing, sky-diving, bungee, mad drug cocktails. I've had experiences on LSD & Ketamine that were truly life-changing (now well in the past!.) Complete dissolution of the ego is a powerful lesson. Just feeling 'normal' was more exhilarating than all of this combined. Couldn't have imagined what I was missing out on.

> >That was almost too much to believe, that someone could feel that way, most of the time, with no particular effort or machinations on their part. Wow again.

Exactly.

> >Shar


> It's funny, none of this seems like common sense to me, I guess because I never learned them (?). Or more likely I ignored because of my self destructive behavior.

Sorry. My main pdoc described me as the most rational person he's ever met. I've just never had any trouble sussing life. It probably helps that I had a 'happy', grounded upbringing & have never got caught up in religion & the like. Also being an introspective depressive gives me a unique perspective on life. I've seen it from both sides. I realise others have had it different.

I do have destructive urges (but also, fortunately, immense self-control) as is evidenced by 5 broken knuckles & a 6" scar on my hands. Alcohol played a significant role in most of the incidents...

> I hope you both find something else to help soon.

> - K.

Ta,
Jah.


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