![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 9 of 9. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by shar on October 16, 2000, at 22:10:24
Rzip,
In spite of the posts about the Pritzker postings, you are indeed welcome here by me. We can be honest with each other because we do ask the hard questions of each other on PB and discuss the issues.This has been very awkward, because you are right when you say people talk around you, and that must be uncomfortable.
I have to say that when you've given me little glimpses of yourself, I have felt closer to you. On this board you can post to anything else. But don't count on people responding to your posts. Sometimes they will and sometimes they won't.
You can tell us the hard stuff you (yourself) are dealing with, and we can respond. I was sorry to hear that your job isn't what you expected, or that you are feeling badly about letting someone down. You are dealing with a lot right now, and it's really hard to be Superwoman, no matter how much you may want to.
I encourage you not to count the posts that get sent to you, or whether people respond to your posts. It is not a place of competition, so you can relax. If you have a good suggestion, or can empathize with what someone has posted, please do so! But, it doesn't matter whether you do it twenty times or one time.
Quality is better than quantity. Quality is you being you!
Have you had your therapy session yet? When you talk about your dark side, if you want to here, we are not too likely to get scared because we have dark sides too. But, you just say what you want about yourself, not what you think we want to hear.
OK?
Shar
Posted by Greg on October 16, 2000, at 22:24:40
In reply to Rzip -- Keep posting, please, posted by shar on October 16, 2000, at 22:10:24
Rzip,
I'll keep mine short because Shar, as usual, read my mind and said everything I wanted to say. It's wonderful to have an connection with a person like her. I wish that for you someday.
I only wanted to add that you have my deepest apologies for being part of talking around you. I get wrapped up in my own stuff somtimes and in this case, I neglected to remember that there was someone out there in pain who needed help. And that was you. I am in your corner and will make every attempt to be supportive. I will also promise to be honest. I will expect you in return to tell me if I cross the line.
Please stay and keep talking. I want you here.
Peace,
Greg> Rzip,
> In spite of the posts about the Pritzker postings, you are indeed welcome here by me. We can be honest with each other because we do ask the hard questions of each other on PB and discuss the issues.
>
> This has been very awkward, because you are right when you say people talk around you, and that must be uncomfortable.
>
> I have to say that when you've given me little glimpses of yourself, I have felt closer to you. On this board you can post to anything else. But don't count on people responding to your posts. Sometimes they will and sometimes they won't.
>
> You can tell us the hard stuff you (yourself) are dealing with, and we can respond. I was sorry to hear that your job isn't what you expected, or that you are feeling badly about letting someone down. You are dealing with a lot right now, and it's really hard to be Superwoman, no matter how much you may want to.
>
> I encourage you not to count the posts that get sent to you, or whether people respond to your posts. It is not a place of competition, so you can relax. If you have a good suggestion, or can empathize with what someone has posted, please do so! But, it doesn't matter whether you do it twenty times or one time.
>
> Quality is better than quantity. Quality is you being you!
>
> Have you had your therapy session yet? When you talk about your dark side, if you want to here, we are not too likely to get scared because we have dark sides too. But, you just say what you want about yourself, not what you think we want to hear.
>
> OK?
>
> Shar
Posted by Rzip on October 16, 2000, at 22:44:00
In reply to Re: Rzip -- Keep posting, please, posted by Greg on October 16, 2000, at 22:24:40
>Shar and Greg,
Thank you. I am touched to tears. And it is actually very hard for people to get me to feel. I usually don't show much emotions.
Thank you and take care of yourselves,
Yours trulyRzip,
>
> I'll keep mine short because Shar, as usual, read my mind and said everything I wanted to say. It's wonderful to have an connection with a person like her. I wish that for you someday.
>
> I only wanted to add that you have my deepest apologies for being part of talking around you. I get wrapped up in my own stuff somtimes and in this case, I neglected to remember that there was someone out there in pain who needed help. And that was you. I am in your corner and will make every attempt to be supportive. I will also promise to be honest. I will expect you in return to tell me if I cross the line.
>
> Please stay and keep talking. I want you here.
>
> Peace,
> Greg
>
> > Rzip,
> > In spite of the posts about the Pritzker postings, you are indeed welcome here by me. We can be honest with each other because we do ask the hard questions of each other on PB and discuss the issues.
> >
> > This has been very awkward, because you are right when you say people talk around you, and that must be uncomfortable.
> >
> > I have to say that when you've given me little glimpses of yourself, I have felt closer to you. On this board you can post to anything else. But don't count on people responding to your posts. Sometimes they will and sometimes they won't.
> >
> > You can tell us the hard stuff you (yourself) are dealing with, and we can respond. I was sorry to hear that your job isn't what you expected, or that you are feeling badly about letting someone down. You are dealing with a lot right now, and it's really hard to be Superwoman, no matter how much you may want to.
> >
> > I encourage you not to count the posts that get sent to you, or whether people respond to your posts. It is not a place of competition, so you can relax. If you have a good suggestion, or can empathize with what someone has posted, please do so! But, it doesn't matter whether you do it twenty times or one time.
> >
> > Quality is better than quantity. Quality is you being you!
> >
> > Have you had your therapy session yet? When you talk about your dark side, if you want to here, we are not too likely to get scared because we have dark sides too. But, you just say what you want about yourself, not what you think we want to hear.
> >
> > OK?
> >
> > Shar
Posted by noa on October 17, 2000, at 7:02:53
In reply to Thank you guys., posted by Rzip on October 16, 2000, at 22:44:00
I wanted to add a response to something you said in an earlier thread--about feeling somewhat better since exchanging posts here.
It wouldn't surprise me if someone with significant social anxiety who is quite lonely started to feel better after conversing with people here. Online discussions seem tailor made for people with social anxiety. And provide a much needed opportunity to social contact. Besides, this place is a place where you can talk about the very things that usually keep you from socializing.
Perhaps this sheds light on some things---you like social interaction, want it, but it causes too much anxiety, so you avoid it (I am drawing on what you have written earlier, if I am incorrect, please let me know). When you encountered helping professionals, you were powerfully drawn to them. could this be the craving of social contact? Perhaps they were more "safe" than peers because they are, in a sense, unattainable (you were told to back off) and they were nice to you and listened to you.
But here, you have a place where you can interact and have social contact but still feel somewhat safe, and not overwhelmed by social anxiety.
Make sense?
Posted by Rzip on October 17, 2000, at 12:46:51
In reply to Re: Thank you guys., posted by noa on October 17, 2000, at 7:02:53
>Noa,
I could not have said it better. That is precisely the problem. I do see you guys as a medium between therapists and the outside world. True affection from either parties is unattainable because I am unable to express my true self to them. Thus, I always end up feeling misunderstood.
Some people on this board has pointed out that I am taking up too much of their energy and support. I think you guys have really helped me through a transitional period. I do feel stronger and better today, than a week ago. I have gotten the support that I need. And I have instituted some changes such as cutting back on my work load and becoming a one-on-one tutor with a child from my community. I think that I am going to be quiet for a while now and allow the generous members of this board to help those who are more in need at this moment.Thank you. And I'll keep checking this board and offer whatever assistances I can provide.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
I wanted to add a response to something you said in an earlier thread--about feeling somewhat better since exchanging posts here.
>
> It wouldn't surprise me if someone with significant social anxiety who is quite lonely started to feel better after conversing with people here. Online discussions seem tailor made for people with social anxiety. And provide a much needed opportunity to social contact. Besides, this place is a place where you can talk about the very things that usually keep you from socializing.
>
> Perhaps this sheds light on some things---you like social interaction, want it, but it causes too much anxiety, so you avoid it (I am drawing on what you have written earlier, if I am incorrect, please let me know). When you encountered helping professionals, you were powerfully drawn to them. could this be the craving of social contact? Perhaps they were more "safe" than peers because they are, in a sense, unattainable (you were told to back off) and they were nice to you and listened to you.
>
> But here, you have a place where you can interact and have social contact but still feel somewhat safe, and not overwhelmed by social anxiety.
>
> Make sense?
Posted by alicefranklin on October 17, 2000, at 13:27:16
In reply to Noa, You hit the nail on the head, posted by Rzip on October 17, 2000, at 12:46:51
Dear Rzip,
I don't think anybody thinks you've taken up too much of the board's time and energy. What seems to have happened, in my opinion, is that your issues got side-tracked, and the discussion turned out to be mostly about some other guy's feelings. Maybe we'll do better in the future.
Posted by noa on October 17, 2000, at 14:17:19
In reply to Re: Noa, You hit the nail on the head » Rzip, posted by alicefranklin on October 17, 2000, at 13:27:16
Yeah, Rzip, no need to back off. Stay and be part of the group for a while. The "help" here goes in many directions.
Posted by Rzip on October 17, 2000, at 14:26:16
In reply to Re: Noa, You hit the nail on the head » Rzip, posted by alicefranklin on October 17, 2000, at 13:27:16
> Dear Alicefranklin,
I think it is both good and bad that things get sidetracked.
Good: This is a service founded upon the principal where everyone support one another with the best intentions. In that light, it is good to both give and receive. I think the therapeutic effect on this board is derived strictly from the act of sharing. Fundamentally, I think that is what attracts me to this site, and what picked me up from the doom that I was in a couple days ago.
Bad: For the internal me, it is bad because I selfishly want everyone and everything to be focused around me.
P.S. I know that I promised some of you guys on the board that I would only let ME come out. But, when I stepped back and re-read my posts, I think I am writing with a bit of the therapist state of mind (NOTE: I AM NOT A THERAPIST!). But those of you who read my very first thread under the name "Pritzker" knows what I am talking about. I noticed that for a while there I was signing off with "Yours truly", which is a copy of some other professional's signature.
It is kind of hard to differentiate the real ME from all the others. I do not think I have distinctly different personalities. I do however think I have split-personality (Personality: uno).
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Dear Rzip,
> I don't think anybody thinks you've taken up too much of the board's time and energy. What seems to have happened, in my opinion, is that your issues got side-tracked, and the discussion turned out to be mostly about some other guy's feelings. Maybe we'll do better in the future.
Posted by Noa on October 17, 2000, at 18:14:32
In reply to Re: Noa, You hit the nail on the head » alicefranklin, posted by Rzip on October 17, 2000, at 14:26:16
Maybe another way to think about this is, like the online communication hypotheses above suggested, you are trying out your "voice" here, how to come across, etc. It is through such trying out experiences that we all eventually start to figure out who we really are. Some people have had lots of such opportunities to try on different styles, but others have not had so many opportunities. Here is a place to try on potential styles and see how they fit.
This is the end of the thread.
Psycho-Babble Social | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.