![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 13 of 13. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Lisa Simpson on October 3, 2000, at 11:57:28
Hi Mark... please let me know if you're around, as I want to talk to you.
Lisa
Posted by mark on October 11, 2000, at 12:44:33
In reply to mark? Are you there?, posted by Lisa Simpson on October 3, 2000, at 11:57:28
Hi all,
I'm finally back. I had to give my laptop back to my company after they let me go. So I had to scrape up the money for a new one and finally got back on line.
Things are going well. Still no job, but that's ok. I needed the break to get my head together. I had a relapse and finally decided to go to AA. What a surprise. It was nothing like back in Ohio (I live in Florida now). The people were warm and friendly and I immediately felt at home.
I've been going to meetings pretty much everyday and love it. I've been going about 2 weeks now and the first night I think I got 5 phone numbers from people who would be willing to talk if I wanted to. I was amazed that people would have so much care for a virtual stranger.
I was told to get a sponsor - someone to be my one
on one guide - the first night. I felt really weird about that because I was hesitant to ask someone and I figured if I did that it would pretty much mean that there was no turning back. I sat next to a guy at a small meeting a few nights ago and when he spoke I just really felt a vibe from him. After the meeting I asked for his phone number because he seemed like he might be a good person to talk to. After the meeting we got to talking and he asked me if I had a sponsor. I said no and he said, "Well, you do now." The fact that a total stranger would take another total stranger's life into their care just blew me away. I call him every day and go to meetings with him. It's so cool. I walk into a meeting feeling so special and want to say, "Look at me. Someone cares about me."I hope everyone is ok and I really appreciate your concern during my brief absence. I really want to hear from you soon.
Peace and hugs to all,
mark
Posted by Lisa Simpson on October 12, 2000, at 6:38:22
In reply to Re: mark? Are you there? lisa simpson, tina, greg, posted by mark on October 11, 2000, at 12:44:33
Mark! Hi! So pleased to see you back. And absolutely delighted that your AA thing is working out for you so well. That sounds really fantastic! In fact, it sounds so good, that I'm even tempted to wander along to an AA meeting myself... It sounds great the bit about friendly strangers... but I tend to think that Americans are friendlier on the whole than the Brits anyway. We English types tend to keep ourselves to ourselves! I can't imagine me asking anyone to be my AA buddy! I'd chicken out.
Ah well, I'm afraid I haven't done as well as you. I had a severe asthma attack last Thursday night, first really bad one since I nearly died in the States the Christmas before last, and my other half had to call the ambulance for me, which I hated. So I'm afraid the lure of the vodka bottle was a bit too strong to ignore afterwards. But after reading your post, I feel I have been really weak, and will try again... when I get back from holiday (I leave next Wednesday).
Keep it up, Mark, you're doing grand. I wish you lived near me, then we could go together!! (I live in the UK.)
Lisa
x
Posted by Greg on October 12, 2000, at 8:10:58
In reply to Re: mark? Are you there? lisa simpson, tina, greg, posted by mark on October 11, 2000, at 12:44:33
mark,
This is incredible news! I hope you are as jazzed for yourself as I am for you! Your story brought memories flooding back of how wonderful I felt when those perfect strangers came up to me and offered love and support (and phone numbers) to me. How great it was to feel wanted. Just remember that in those bad times use those numbers! It's great that you have a sponser, I hope he's like mine. A lot of support, but tough love when I need it. I don't talk to him very often, but he's always there when I need him. Going to a lot of meetings right now is a very good idea. In the beginning my whole day was filled with meetings from the time I woke up in the morning, until I went to bed at night. Do whatever you have to do to stay sober!
Just talked to Tina on the phone. Her living situation has changed and she has very little access to a computer these days. She wanted me to tell you that she is very proud of you and thinks this is a wonderful thing. She sends her love. She said she will make her best effort to get an e-mail off to you in the next day or two.
Well, my best wishes to you, mark. I know you can do this. If I can, you can. My e-mail is at the top of the page, write me if you need to talk.
Peace,
Greg> Hi all,
>
> I'm finally back. I had to give my laptop back to my company after they let me go. So I had to scrape up the money for a new one and finally got back on line.
>
> Things are going well. Still no job, but that's ok. I needed the break to get my head together. I had a relapse and finally decided to go to AA. What a surprise. It was nothing like back in Ohio (I live in Florida now). The people were warm and friendly and I immediately felt at home.
>
> I've been going to meetings pretty much everyday and love it. I've been going about 2 weeks now and the first night I think I got 5 phone numbers from people who would be willing to talk if I wanted to. I was amazed that people would have so much care for a virtual stranger.
>
> I was told to get a sponsor - someone to be my one
> on one guide - the first night. I felt really weird about that because I was hesitant to ask someone and I figured if I did that it would pretty much mean that there was no turning back. I sat next to a guy at a small meeting a few nights ago and when he spoke I just really felt a vibe from him. After the meeting I asked for his phone number because he seemed like he might be a good person to talk to. After the meeting we got to talking and he asked me if I had a sponsor. I said no and he said, "Well, you do now." The fact that a total stranger would take another total stranger's life into their care just blew me away. I call him every day and go to meetings with him. It's so cool. I walk into a meeting feeling so special and want to say, "Look at me. Someone cares about me."
>
> I hope everyone is ok and I really appreciate your concern during my brief absence. I really want to hear from you soon.
>
> Peace and hugs to all,
>
>
> mark
Posted by mark on October 12, 2000, at 10:50:11
In reply to Re: mark? Are you there? lisa simpson, tina, greg, posted by Lisa Simpson on October 12, 2000, at 6:38:22
> Keep it up, Mark, you're doing grand. I wish you lived near me, then we could go together!! (I live in the UK.)
>
> Lisa
> xI'm sorry to hear about your asthma attack. I've known people with severe asthma and know through them what you're going through. Just remember to take care of yourself.
I was a chicken too to ask someone to be my buddy (sponsor). I was afraid because I'm really shy and I figured that if I got a sponsor it would really mean that there was no turning back. So I prayed that God would bring me the person that I need. And it turned out that I didn't have to ask - they asked me.
Believe me, you English have nothing on being 'reserved'. I think maybe people in AA are different because part of the program is to give back what you've gotten. It's like this small little group of survivors that want to see others survive too.
I can't be there with you in person, but I am there with you in spirit. And I'm only a few keystrokes away.
mark
Posted by mark on October 12, 2000, at 10:59:33
In reply to Re: mark? Are you there? lisa simpson, tina, greg, posted by Greg on October 12, 2000, at 8:10:58
Hi Greg,
I'm pretty excited. I was really sort of anti-AA for a long time because of what I experienced back in Ohio. I was in Al-anon and ACOA and knew some AA folks through those groups. They seemed really negative and back-biting. I'm sure I'll probably run into that at some point. I can love those type of people, but it doesn't mean I have to hang around them.My sponsor seems really cool. We talked last night (I have to call him every day) and he said he's going to have to be tough at times and ask me to do things I might not want to do. But they're going to be things that will keep me sane and sober.
I hope Tina is ok. She told me was having some relationship issues. Please give her my best and I look forward to hearing from her.
mark
Posted by Lisa Simpson on October 13, 2000, at 4:46:11
In reply to Re: mark? Are you there? lisa simpson, tina, greg » Lisa Simpson, posted by mark on October 12, 2000, at 10:50:11
< < I can't be there with you in person, but I am there with you in spirit. And I'm only a few keystrokes away. > >
Thanks, Mark. That brought a smile to my face.
Maybe you shouldn't have used the word "spirit", tho'! :))
Would you mind telling me, did you drink because it helped you cope with problems in your life, or just because you enjoyed doing it?
Lisa
=^. .^=
Posted by mark on October 13, 2000, at 11:05:56
In reply to Re: mark? Are you there? » mark, posted by Lisa Simpson on October 13, 2000, at 4:46:11
Hey Lisa,
Hahaha!! It took me a minute to get the 'spirt'
reference. No - not that kind!!! :-)I enjoyed it in the beginning. My close friends also grew up in alcoholic homes and I think that was how we learned to socialize. So most of my early drinking was done at bars with my friends. I don't really think I drank to cope with problems. Maybe I did and don't realize it yet. But at least I don't think I did.
Alcoholism seems to run on the male side of my family. Both my father and brother died from alcohol related illnesses. So I think I am genetically predisposed to addictive behavior. Specifically alcoholism. Logically I know that I have a choice whether to drink or not. Emotionally I feel like I didn't have a choice. Most of the time I didn't think about it - I just did it.
The last few years I didn't enjoy it. I felt guilty and scared when I was drinking. And afterwards I felt really bad because I had lost control - again. I didn't want to wind up like the rest of my family, but I was certainly heading down that road. It sounds cliche, but I got sick and tired of feeling sick and tired. That's what finally got me to AA.
How about you? Do you know why you drink?
mark
>
> =^. .^=
>
Cat person? I have two.
Posted by Lisa Simpson on October 13, 2000, at 12:06:47
In reply to Re: mark? Are you there? , posted by mark on October 13, 2000, at 11:05:56
Hi Mark!
When I think about it, my dad has always been a heavy drinker. And as an adult, when I visited home, we used to sit together and lay waste to a bottle or so of rum. And in fact, we did this the last time I went to visit him at Easter. So I think the real honest answer is, I like it. I greatly enjoy a strong drink or six, and can hide my intake pretty well, so no-one is normally aware when I've been drinking heavily. I'm also pretty good at hiding empty bottles. Sigh.
But you know I told you that I nearly died the Christmas before last from pneumonia/asthma attack while visiting Detroit? Well, I won't bore you with the gory details, but at the end they forcibly intubated me, and when I fought them to stop them, they gave me a paralysing shot, so I just collapsed, unable to even try and breathe for myself. I was on a ventilator fighting for my life for 48 hours, I was told. So when I eventually came home to the UK, I was scared out of my mind for the first few days, and when it was time to go to bed, I would sit downstairs and shake with fear, too scared to lie down in case I couldn't breathe again. So half a bottle of spirits would help me go to sleep eventually. So I've been drinking pretty heavily since then, really. A habit it's turning out to be difficult to break. Perhaps with some virtual help, I may have a chance!
Yes, I'm a great cat person! I have three Siamese - a chocolate point boy, a seal point boy and a very old and grouchy lilac tabby point girl. What are yours?
Lisa
Posted by tina on October 15, 2000, at 12:27:52
In reply to Re: mark? Are you there? lisa simpson, tina, greg, posted by mark on October 12, 2000, at 10:59:33
> Hi Greg,
>
>
> I'm pretty excited. I was really sort of anti-AA for a long time because of what I experienced back in Ohio. I was in Al-anon and ACOA and knew some AA folks through those groups. They seemed really negative and back-biting. I'm sure I'll probably run into that at some point. I can love those type of people, but it doesn't mean I have to hang around them.
>
> My sponsor seems really cool. We talked last night (I have to call him every day) and he said he's going to have to be tough at times and ask me to do things I might not want to do. But they're going to be things that will keep me sane and sober.
>
> I hope Tina is ok. She told me was having some relationship issues. Please give her my best and I look forward to hearing from her.
>
> markHey mark
Tina is fine. Just living with my dad now and he doesn't have a computer and the library is hard to get time at. I managed some today so thought I'd write and tell you how happy I am that you are doing better. I'm so glad that you've found a group of people with whom you feel so comfortable and comforted. It's great when you feel like you are supported and understood.
Taking a break from the whole marriage thing right now. Don't know how permanent it's going to be but I can definitely tell you that i'm doing better than I ever have. The freedom is wonderful. I do miss having a computer at my fingertips but I can schedule time here at the library once in a while and keep in touch. I have 2 jobs now just to make ends meet. Hubby used to pay all the bills and now I gotta take care of myself. It's something I've never had to do before and it's scary but also sort of adventurous. Weird huh?
Well, anyway, I just wanted to drop you a line and let you know how glad I am to see you back and doing so much better. Keep up the good work. I'll be thinking about ya and sending you strength and hugs.
Luv
Tina
Posted by mark on October 16, 2000, at 10:07:08
In reply to Re: mark? Are you there? » mark, posted by Lisa Simpson on October 13, 2000, at 12:06:47
Lisa,
There are some pretty good resources online. One is the official AA website - www.alcoholicsanonymous.org - and another posting site like psychobabble at www.sober24.com. If you
have the time and inclination you might want to check them out. If you want to talk "offline" I can give you my email address.My oldest cat is a gray tiger named Muffin. I got her from the humane society about 8 years ago when she was a kitten. She has one bad eye and some
resparitory problems and is the biggest lovebug in the world. My other cat is about 3 years old and is an Ocicat which is a mix of Siamese, Himalayan, and
American Shorthair. He's Cinnamon color with dark spots like an Ocelot. And what a talker!Mark
Posted by mark on October 23, 2000, at 12:49:25
In reply to Re: mark? Are you there? lisa simpson, tina, greg, posted by tina on October 15, 2000, at 12:27:52
Hi Tina,
Sorry it took so long to get back to you. I read your message and intended to respond later that day. I then promptly forgot about reading it and kept thinking, "I hope Tina's ok. I haven't heard from her in a while." I think I've reached new heights in being brain-dead. :-)
I'm sorry about your relationship problems. But at least you have the good sense to do what you need to do to stay sane. Hopefully your two jobs aren't working you too hard so you can have some "Tina Time" to chill-out.
Still no movement on the job front. I had another interview with a different branch of the county last week. I needed the break at first to get my act together (which by no means I have), but now I'm getting bored and actually want to go back to work. Words I never thought I'd say!
Keep in touch when you can.
mark
Posted by tina on October 27, 2000, at 11:48:46
In reply to Re: mark? Are you there? lisa simpson, tina, greg » tina, posted by mark on October 23, 2000, at 12:49:25
> Hi Tina,
>
> Sorry it took so long to get back to you. I read your message and intended to respond later that day. I then promptly forgot about reading it and kept thinking, "I hope Tina's ok. I haven't heard from her in a while." I think I've reached new heights in being brain-dead. :-)
>
> I'm sorry about your relationship problems. But at least you have the good sense to do what you need to do to stay sane. Hopefully your two jobs aren't working you too hard so you can have some "Tina Time" to chill-out.
>
> Still no movement on the job front. I had another interview with a different branch of the county last week. I needed the break at first to get my act together (which by no means I have), but now I'm getting bored and actually want to go back to work. Words I never thought I'd say!
>
> Keep in touch when you can.
>
> markHey, how are ya?
Tina is not OK but I'm sure I will be again really soon. This whole living with my dad thing is really hard and the job is making me mentally and physically sick. The story of my life, nevermind. I'm glad to hear you're feeling up to going back to work. That's a really good sign. I hope your ambition continues.
Not really feeling up to chatting much. I'm sorry. Been really down the last few days and feeling pretty ill. I'll talk again soon, when I'm feeling more up to it OK?
Take care mark, keep up the good work.
Tina
This is the end of the thread.
Psycho-Babble Social | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.