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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 12 of 12. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by TamaraJ on November 3, 2005, at 19:38:07
good enough? I'm not the type to put on airs or try to be someone I'm not, and I think, sometimes, that I should just "play the game". I don't know anymore. I know I'm not always the most open, and I have a hard time letting people in and letting them really get to know me at times. But, I don't judge others and I try to treat everyone with kindness, give them the benefit of the doubt (time and again sometimes) and not hold grudges. Maybe I will always be on the outside looking in. Oh well, it doesn't matter. I'm not sure what I am trying to say so I will just shut up.
Sorry.
Posted by Damos on November 3, 2005, at 22:01:22
In reply to Do you ever think that just being yourself isn't, posted by TamaraJ on November 3, 2005, at 19:38:07
Pretty much every minute of every day my whole damn life. I'm not the most open person either, and am notoriously bad at letting people in and to get to know me. Can identify with the always standing on the outside looking in stuff too.
Trying to be different for everyone elses benefit doesn't work. Eventually it gets too hard to keep up the pretending, and it only really ends up hurting you in the end because you spend so much time being the characters that you forget who you are.
Just be you TamaraJ cause that's always seemed pretty nice to me. And acceptance for acceptance sake is way different to being genuinely accepted for who you are. If there's something that you really think doesn't work for you then yeah do something about it. But just don't think that everything about you is wrong or whatever.
Take care okay.
Posted by allisonross on November 4, 2005, at 9:32:08
In reply to Do you ever think that just being yourself isn't, posted by TamaraJ on November 3, 2005, at 19:38:07
> Hi, sweetie: good enough?
Good enough for who? I KNOW you are good enough for YOU.
I'm not the type to put on airs or try to be someone I'm not, and I think, sometimes, that I should just "play the game". I don't know anymore.
One of my favorite words is AUTHENTIC.....phony is so disrespectful to onesself! Honor and honesty!
I know I'm not always the most open, and I have a hard time letting people in and letting them really get to know me at times.
That is understandable; we all feel the need to protect ourselves, but I on the other hand (LOL); am so OUT THERE, LOL; guess i was born standin up and talkin back!
But, I don't judge others and I try to treat everyone with kindness, give them the benefit of the doubt (time and again sometimes) and not hold grudges.
you sound like a lovely person. and a RARE person. There is so much ugliness in the world (judgement, ignorance, cruelty,) and you are ONE person making a difference.
Maybe I will always be on the outside looking in. Oh well, it doesn't matter. I'm not sure what I am trying to say so I will just shut up.
Don't do that; we need people like you.
>
> Sorry.Don't ever feel sorry for being real......authentic, remember? Be yourself; not a pale copy of someone else...Hugs and Love, Allison
www.churchabusepoetrytherapy.com
My story was published on-line journal: www.psychiatricjournal.com
Entitled: The Transcendent Child on Overcoming Verbal and Spiritual Abuse
Posted by TamaraJ on November 4, 2005, at 13:38:17
In reply to Re: Do you ever think that just being yourself isn't » TamaraJ, posted by Damos on November 3, 2005, at 22:01:22
Damos,
Thanks for the response. I'm sorry that you feel like that too. It sucks. You are such a kind-hearted person, with so much to offer. You deserve so much better.
I'm not very good at pretending, so trying to be someone I'm not wouldn't work. I'm too transparent, even though I keep so much to myself. I hate that everyone can read what I am thinking and feeling just by looking at me at times. I want to hide and only appear strong and resiliant. Oh well, can't change my genetic make-up < sigh >
There are some things I want to do something about, and I'm taking steps now. I will evolve LOL - eventually.
You take good care of you, Damos. You are a wonderful human being just the way you are.
All the best,
Tamara
Posted by TamaraJ on November 4, 2005, at 13:45:04
In reply to Re: Do you ever think that just being yourself isn » TamaraJ, posted by allisonross on November 4, 2005, at 9:32:08
> > Hi, sweetie: good enough?
>
> Good enough for who? I KNOW you are good enough for YOU.
>
-- Yeah, well I tend to be pretty hard on myself. But, then again, aren't we all?> One of my favorite words is AUTHENTIC.....phony is so disrespectful to onesself! Honor and honesty!
>
-- Authentic is a good word. Although, "it's not easy being green" LOL.
> That is understandable; we all feel the need to protect ourselves, but I on the other hand (LOL); am so OUT THERE, LOL; guess i was born standin up and talkin back!
>
-- Many of my good friends are like that - out there - and I envy that at times. I want to be out there. But, it's just not me. It takes me a while to find that comfort zone.
>
>
> you sound like a lovely person. and a RARE person. There is so much ugliness in the world (judgement, ignorance, cruelty,) and you are ONE person making a difference.
>
-- Not really, but thanks.>
> Don't do that; we need people like you.
>
-- Thanks. That's nice of you to say.
> Don't ever feel sorry for being real......authentic, remember? Be yourself; not a pale copy of someone else...Hugs and Love, Allison
>
-- I'll try. Thanks again, and all the best to you.> www.churchabusepoetrytherapy.com
>
> My story was published on-line journal: www.psychiatricjournal.com
>
> Entitled: The Transcendent Child on Overcoming Verbal and Spiritual Abuse-- I will check out the links. Thanks for providing them. You take care.
Posted by TamaraJ on November 4, 2005, at 13:50:07
In reply to Re: Do you ever think that just being yourself isn't, posted by TamaraJ on November 4, 2005, at 13:38:17
Sorry, forgot to check the "add name of previous poster" box.
Posted by Dinah on November 6, 2005, at 10:45:36
In reply to Do you ever think that just being yourself isn't, posted by TamaraJ on November 3, 2005, at 19:38:07
I've never been one to play the game, and I've always felt like an outsider. I actually warn people before they meet me.
We had a long discussion a while back on Babble that made me think. About whether conforming is a form of showing respect for others, I think. It did make me think, but I'm still as eccentric as ever.
And I guess I'm not altogether sure what my motivations are. Am I afraid that I couldn't pretend well enough to be someone else? Is it because I'm too stubborn to want acceptance unless it's acceptance for who I truly am? Or am I just lazy?
I think being yourself should be good enough for anyone, Tamara. You're perfectly fine as you are.
Posted by TamaraJ on November 7, 2005, at 20:30:17
In reply to Re: Do you ever think that just being yourself isn » TamaraJ, posted by Dinah on November 6, 2005, at 10:45:36
> I've never been one to play the game, and I've always felt like an outsider. I actually warn people before they meet me.
>
-- I don't know how people do for years and years and years. It must be exhausting. It's better to be upfront with people. You are genuine, and that's important, I think.> We had a long discussion a while back on Babble that made me think. About whether conforming is a form of showing respect for others, I think. It did make me think, but I'm still as eccentric as ever.
>
-- But, conforming to please others and sacrificing one's individuality may also be a sign of disrespect, I think. Of course, I guess when it comes to certain areas, like the workplace, there has to be a certain amount of conformity. But, if it causes much personal angst, then I would think it would be time to move on and find a more accepting environment.> And I guess I'm not altogether sure what my motivations are. Am I afraid that I couldn't pretend well enough to be someone else? Is it because I'm too stubborn to want acceptance unless it's acceptance for who I truly am? Or am I just lazy?
>
-- Perhaps it is none of the above. It needs to be ok to just be ourselves, and if others don't like that, then maybe their motivations need to be examined at times.
> I think being yourself should be good enough for anyone, Tamara. You're perfectly fine as you are.-- Thank you very much, Dinah. As are you, and, you are very kind too.
Posted by alesta on November 10, 2005, at 9:04:32
In reply to Do you ever think that just being yourself isn't, posted by TamaraJ on November 3, 2005, at 19:38:07
> good enough? I'm not the type to put on airs or try to be someone I'm not, and I think, sometimes, that I should just "play the game". I don't know anymore. I know I'm not always the most open, and I have a hard time letting people in and letting them really get to know me at times. But, I don't judge others and I try to treat everyone with kindness, give them the benefit of the doubt (time and again sometimes) and not hold grudges. Maybe I will always be on the outside looking in. Oh well, it doesn't matter. I'm not sure what I am trying to say so I will just shut up.
>
> Sorry.oh my gosh, tam, your post made me so sad. i can't believe you would ever feel that way. i was skimming through today to check to see which posts i hadn't replied to yet (i am so disorganized and time-crunched right now..some days i have more replies to do than time to do them) and saw that i had never replied to your post that was so great and wonderfully supportive. i love the way you have about you.
sometimes it is easy to get lost in all the fluff around here....i think we do somehow need to restore this place in a sense so that ppl don't feel like they are going to get lost in the shuffle for being serious or real or supportive, but maintaining the current ambiance as well (let everybody coincide happily). this is tricky...i don't know if i'm making sense here or helping...but i know what you mean exactly (at least, i think so....:)) i think this group would be a totally different story in real life....
i have always really liked and enjoyed your posts..it's nice to have a few ppl balance off all the silliness you find here sometimes.:) i like it that you are *real*, you are you. and you are so unbelievably nice, and have a wonderful charisma. i appreciate you immensely and always will.
(if i was off on any of this, i'm sorry...trying to help/understand..)
love you tamara,
amy:-)
Posted by TamaraJ on November 11, 2005, at 19:37:57
In reply to Re: Do you ever think that just being yourself isn't » TamaraJ, posted by alesta on November 10, 2005, at 9:04:32
Aw Amy, thanks. You are so sweet. Those things you said are no incredibly nice. I just don't know what to say except mucho gracias :-) And, you did help, you always do for so many here. Just to let you know, my post had nothing to do with Babble or the Babble dynamic. It was one of those IRL things, and the tendency of someone close to me to make others feel inadequate, insignificant and unworthy. I guess I was just feeling a bit too sensitive. And, don't worry about not replying to me. I'm not that easily offended. Anyway, my posts to others often don't need a response (just me sharing, and people can take it or leave it), so I don't even think about it really.
I hope that things start to improve for you very soon. You have been through so much, and you so deserve some peace of mind and happiness. I wish only good things for you in the days, months and years ahead. Take good care.
Love,
Tamara
Posted by TamaraJ on November 11, 2005, at 20:34:02
In reply to Re: Do you ever think that just being yourself isn't » alesta, posted by TamaraJ on November 11, 2005, at 19:37:57
correcting my typo - "so incredibly . . ." (not "no incredibly . . .). Sorry about that.
Posted by alesta on November 14, 2005, at 10:48:33
In reply to Re: Do you ever think that just being yourself isn't » alesta, posted by TamaraJ on November 11, 2005, at 19:37:57
This is the end of the thread.
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