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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by alexandra_k on February 7, 2005, at 22:49:38
You can't evade my nosiness quite that easily, ya know ;-)
I wait with rapt attention...
Posted by Dinah on February 8, 2005, at 8:36:49
In reply to Dinah???, posted by alexandra_k on February 7, 2005, at 22:49:38
It's just that I wanted to convey that this isn't easy for my husband either. He has a lot of limitations in his own life. For example, when that connection between dangerous bacteria and the gym came out, he just quit going to the gym. And going to the gym made not only him but everyone else in the house much happier. He never even told us why he had quit going until he finally checked it out with his doctor. And even though his doctor reassured him, and his family encourages him to take the "risk", all being certain the health and emotional benefits of going outweigh the miniscule risks of infection, he can't bring himself to do it.
He feels an immense responsibility to be here and healthy for his family, and to keep his family as healthy as possible.
He doesn't want an SSRI or any of the standard treatments for OCD. (He's actually never been diagnosed with it.) I can't say I blame him.
But I wouldn't want to distress him to the degree this would distress him. He's too good a person.
Posted by mair on February 8, 2005, at 17:15:44
In reply to Re: Dinah??? » alexandra_k, posted by Dinah on February 8, 2005, at 8:36:49
Sorry to butt in, but how would this distress him? Is it the idea of not being there himself to guarantee your safety?
My husband, I think, just wouldn't be able to comprehend why I would want to fly half way across the country to spend time with a bunch of people I don't know. (given my social unease, it's a legitimate question). Maybe he'd be afraid that hanging around with people with mental illnesses would make me pathologize myself. I think he likes to forget that I have an illness. I don't know; I'm just speculating. He might think it's an expensive junket I shouldn't feel like I can afford. His sister lives near Chicago so I'd have a place to stay, but I'd for sure have to lie to his sister about why I was there. She lives in the very rational world.
And I can see him wanting to know exactly where we were meeting and how I was going to get to the park, if that's where we would meet. He grew up in one of the north suburbs and lived in the city for quite awhile; he has pretty strong ideas about what places are safe and what aren't.
What do you think your husband is afraid of?
Mair
Posted by Dinah on February 8, 2005, at 17:19:14
In reply to Re: Dinah??? » Dinah, posted by mair on February 8, 2005, at 17:15:44
He's afraid because this is a mental health forum not to mention an internet one, and he views us all with suspicion. He wouldn't feel any better if he came. He'd just figure that both of my son's parents would be at a risk for a fate worse than death.
Maybe he's watched too much TV news, or maybe he just shares society's prejudices about the internet and about mental health. Put the two together, and he thinks it's foolhardy to go.
Posted by Dinah on February 8, 2005, at 17:21:03
In reply to Re: Dinah??? » mair, posted by Dinah on February 8, 2005, at 17:19:14
I want to add that I'm not angry with him about it. I really do understand that this is legitimately scary for him. The ironic part is that he would fit in here quite well. I know there are a lot of things I'm scared of that other people wouldn't quite understand.
He's a good man, and just wants to take care of us all.
Posted by mair on February 8, 2005, at 17:26:42
In reply to Re: Dinah???, posted by Dinah on February 8, 2005, at 17:21:03
I can understand his concern; those would probably be my husband's concerns too. ( I haven't discussed this with him at all) He's pretty much of a worrywart about alot of things and I know he thinks I'm not wary enough - too trusting - assume the good intentions of people too easily etc.
Mair
Posted by alexandra_k on February 8, 2005, at 21:49:03
In reply to Re: Dinah???, posted by Dinah on February 8, 2005, at 17:21:03
I understand.
Not a lot I can say.
I wouldn't have believed I could feel so much at home with people I met over the internet until I found myself here. I understand why other people don't understand that.
I have tried to lure a couple of my RL friends onto this site. But they didn't really manage. Lucky for me - I realise now because sometimes I post from their computer. Still I suppose they would be the ones to be blocked, because I posted from there computer before they did.
Anyways... Bit of a digression, sorry.
I don't know what to say...
This is the end of the thread.
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