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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 10 of 10. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by alexandra_k on November 25, 2013, at 15:25:55
well... after taking 6 sessions or whatever... then 3 weeks... the assessment is Still Not Done. what assessment? you know... the one that i never really wanted done. the one that i clearly expressed my thoughts on, each and every session. my thoughts on how these assessments are like interpreting tea leaves or reading horoscopes. how they open up new ways of being. how they close off others. how i... didn't believe in them. how they weren't valid for me, anyway, because i knew something about how most of them are scored (e.g., that 'i read the newspaper every day' is part of the liar scale). how so many of the questions were so transparent that she might as well save herself a lot of time by simply asking me: so, do you think you have some of the symptoms of OCD? Enough for a dx?
my saying this over and over...
is interpreted as evidence that i talk - in a way that is unresponsive to the opinions / thoughts / feelings / desires of others.
my repeatedly saying that i don't feel heard...
is interpreted as evidence of the same.
in our last session she said it would take her a couple weeks to write up the assessment. i...
felt sorry for her at that point. she was so totally focused on doing her assessment, doing her assessment, doing her assessment. actually, that is not fair. she was trying oh so very hard to remain focused on doing her assessment doing her assessment doing her assessment. often she got distracted. i mean... once or twice i actually caught her... almost kinda nearly... actually listening to me and responding to me as a person. omg. that set assessment progress back, like, *weeks*.
so i gave her a couple weeks to write up her assessment. so she can put it on my file. so she can feel like she didn't just waste the last 6 or so weeks of her time in seeing me.
only... it is for her. not for me. because: i told her already: i don't believe in her f*ck*ng assessments.
i know what it is going to say already: alex has x and we have no treatment for x. so i reccommend alex gets: nothing. because i don't know what alex needs.
(why oh why oh why won't alex shut up about how she doesn't feel heard?)
why don't people learn.. why aren't they taught.. that there is a difference between *helping* and *trying to help*? and where... can i go for protection from the latter?
JUST F*CK*NG TRANSFER ME ALREADY
Posted by alexandra_k on November 25, 2013, at 15:29:29
In reply to let me go, posted by alexandra_k on November 25, 2013, at 15:25:55
because the new people won't put me on their waitlist to be seen until the old people transfer me.
this prevents people being seen by 2 distinct services at the same time.
if i'm seen before christmas (not likely now) then it is almost kinda possible that... we might be making some progress on finding suitable clinicians for me... part way through the start of the first semester.
no matter how hard i try to set things up. no matter how hard i try (diplomatically, then somewhat agressively / directively) to hurry people along. things simply Will Not F*ck*ng Happen in less than, like, 1 year.
why the f*ck is that? why is the world so f*ck*ng slow?
Posted by Poet on November 26, 2013, at 11:13:31
In reply to let me go, posted by alexandra_k on November 25, 2013, at 15:25:55
> well... after taking 6 sessions or whatever... then 3 weeks... the assessment is Still Not Done. what assessment? you know... the one that i never really wanted done. the one that i clearly expressed my thoughts on, each and every session. transparent that she might as well save herself a lot of time by simply asking me: so, do you think you have some of the symptoms of OCD? Enough for a dx?
>Is she writing a novel or an assessment? I don't get why it's taking her so long. I agree, she should just ask you "do you think this fits you?" Not to mention if she doesn't listen to you what is she basing her assessment on? "Client was humming I'm a Little Tea Pot" during the assessment, no wait, I was humming it and not listening to what the client was blathering about. Oh, well, I'll just put something like anxiety down, or was it depression oh, no wait, maybe it was OCD. Damn it, now I have to beg her to come back again for more assessments. Now, where was I?"
>
> (why oh why oh why won't alex shut up about how she doesn't feel heard?)
>
>
> JUST F*CK*NG TRANSFER ME ALREADYI have zero patience and I would have told her to her face that she doesn't know her as* from an assessment. I think you should ask her what the problem is, I mean, Dr. Clueless assessed me in 30 minutes and was mostly right. Yeah, I know I should change her name, but I like it.
Poet
Posted by alexandra_k on November 26, 2013, at 14:25:37
In reply to Re: let me go » alexandra_k, posted by Poet on November 26, 2013, at 11:13:31
> Is she writing a novel or an assessment?
Honestly... I suspect that she is a grad from that place across the bridge and she failed to learn proper assessment skills.
She is determined that I should relate my life story (only the bits that she thinks are relevant) in chronological order otherwise <quote> 'I get confused'. She doesn't do anything much in the way of 'and how did that make you feel'. I try and be helpful - say something about how I think this and that affected me... When I'm trying to be co-operative.
When I'm not trying to be co-operative I talk about whatever it is that I bloody well feel like talking about. Often rants about this and that (you know my posts, ha!). I would have thought... That the latter was fairly informative about me as a person. I am also taking risks. That she will jump all over me / may judge me for this and that. A little about some of my fears... About how I fear I'm turning anti-social or something since my time back in NZ...
She sees that... As a waste of time. As a side-track to her chronological assessment. She isn't wanting an assessment so much as a... Life history? I don't know. Then when she had to finish things up in the last session I got a bunch of tests thrown at me (some of them readily found on the internet). And I think the choronology made it to... The end of my undergrad years. Often she would ask me a question and then I'd answer it and then she would be like 'oh yes, and now getting back to the assessment' and I was like 'well you did ask'.
I just... Never felt like she actually heard ME. Or saw me at all, really. I think... She is an idiot, basically. She was incapable of understanding what I was saying about her tea-leaf reading. She has no comprehension of how listening to a person say what they wanted to say might reveal more about them and what is going on for them than any structured interview. Which she never had the focus to pull off, anyways.
I don't know what the f*ck her problem was.
> I have zero patience and I would have told her to her face that she doesn't know her as* from an assessment. I think you should ask her what the problem is, I mean, Dr. Clueless assessed me in 30 minutes and was mostly right. Yeah, I know I should change her name, but I like it.
Yeah. To start with I was skeptical about p-doc seeing me for 20 minutes and saying 'Autistic Spectrum'. I mean... It happens to be his favourite dx and he seemed to have made up his mind before he even saw me. But... Well... The more I think on it the more it seems to fit sorta somewhat. Best of the available options perhaps.
I phoned her yesterday and said I'd given her the 2 weeks she said it would take to do her assessment and now it was closer to 3 and I needed her to transfer me. She was like 'are you in crisis' and 'I didn't think it was important' and stuff. I got pretty f*ck*ng mad. I was like 'just do it already' emphatically. Then when she got that sparkly thing going on with her voice 'you know I said that it would take 2 weeks to do the assessment not that I would do the transfer in two weeks' (implication haha! I got you!) I barked 'just f*ck*ng do it already' and hung up.
Oh yeah... You are so cute and sparky you can derail me from my goals... I'll forget what the f*ck is important in life and just sit there paying $1.80 or what the f*ck ever per minute so I that I can listen to you coo on the telephone. ANd of course you are so busy doing sh*t like that to do your f*ck*ng job. holy crap.
Cutting the last tie to the f*ck*ng place.
I'll wait until next Thursday then go back to the new place. Say that I asked her to transfer me (she said she would email me and transfer me when the assessment was done) a month ago and that I'd phoned her last week...
Let them deal with her.
Posted by alexandra_k on November 26, 2013, at 14:51:12
In reply to Re: let me go » Poet, posted by alexandra_k on November 26, 2013, at 14:25:37
because of course she won't do it now.
because of the way i spoke to her on the phone.
because she will be trying to teach me a lesson - that how I spoke to her (keeping the message short and simple as possible so there can be absolutely no confusion about what it was that i needed from her and about just how much i needed / wanted that done) is not the way to get things done.
in other words:
she has decided (all by herself - how is that for 'initiative') that teaching me a lesson (will be how she sees it) is more important than her doing her job. you know, according to the job description of what it is that she is supposed to do.
and somehow this makes me the bad guy.
also note: me consumer. her: mental health 'professional'.
and that is f*ck*ng awesome, huh.
but of course my goal was to get her to f*ck*ng do it already. not show this new team just how incompetent she is - that would be being distracted and stooping to her level, somewhat. so... how could i have conducted myself differently in order to maximize the chances of her doing her f*ck*ng job instead of purposely trying to make my life harder?
see... there are trade-offs between people hearing the message and people actually acting in accordance. i mean... if i ask all nicely people often don't understand what i'm asking for. if i say what i want and why i want it and pretty pretty f*ck*ng please and smile then people coo and smile and later it turns out that they were so taken by the cooing and smiling that their brain f*rt*d that message right back out and they didn't actually get the message that they were supposed to do any f*ck*ng thing at all.
but if i keep it short and simple then people don't f*ck*ng do it. they object to the short and simple message.
i'm tempted to suspect that these people are basically incompetent idiots and they are full of excuses. but apparently this is my problem... it is my problem... because while i can indeed follow through on things showing a bunch of people just how f*ck*ng incompetent she is - that doesn't get me seen any faster by others. so in my own interests...
what do i do?
Posted by alexandra_k on November 26, 2013, at 15:01:52
In reply to Re: let me go, posted by alexandra_k on November 26, 2013, at 14:51:12
i suspect...
the frequency with which i encounter this problem...
means that i really am unsuited to work in health.
how am i supposed to conduct myself?
i suspect the answer is to take a f*ck*ng seditive and not care already. so she takes over a month to transfer me. so f*ck*ng what. maybe after two months phone her up just to say 'hey!' and maybe she'll remember all by herself to do it... or i can think of a polite way to ask.
mostly it is about... realizing that you need to have a good 5 or 10 minutes of 'and how is your wife and your kids and your dog' because you get to have that scalpal.
but it's okay. there are checklists and stuff. you know, so you can stand around with your team and spend 5 minutes getting to know everyone and what everyone thinks they should be doing (maybe that helps those with a tendency to forget) so they know exactly what their job is - and they are being told in a way that they don't hate the big bad surgeon for asking them in particular to pass the scalpal. since, you know, every single f*ck*ng operation begins with a 5 minute speel on who the f*ck is the scalpal passer.
i suppose part of it could be about funding... it could (in this particular part of the world where - i suspect - this particular problem is far more pronounced) be about the trade-off between equality and productivity. if we are going to do operations for free (to the consumer). like hip replacements and the like... we better not be able to manage to crank out very many of them in a day...
i think sh*t like this is why a lot of older people say they wouldn't go into medicine if they had to choose again. i think they mean - the way things are now. rather than thinking back on their decision. i think they mean that the way it is practiced now... is not what they thought they were signing up for.
i...
ugh.
managing teams of idiots in a way so they don't even know they are being managed and they get to feel special and important.
without even trying to do their jobs.
f*ck*ng yay.
Posted by alexandra_k on November 26, 2013, at 15:15:10
In reply to Re: let me go, posted by alexandra_k on November 26, 2013, at 15:01:52
I guess... If you work on a ward... Then you need the nurses etc to like you (as a Doctor) because otherwise your patients probably aren't as likely to receive as much care / attention from the nurses.
You need to get the nurses falling over themselves to be seeking praise from you. Yes doc we changed those dressings when we were meant to - just like you said...
Because a lot of people...
Find smiles rewarding. So you train them... To do what you want so they get a smile. But you frighten them with stern face / angry face. So you need to be calm and relaxed and use your smiles strategically. To train them.
This is actually... The fastest way to get things done the way you want them when you have people who are like this.
See... I'd get these people doing the screw the lid on the jar kinds of jobs. And give them a gold star for every 10 jars or whatever. Save the jobs that would profit from people who take pleasure in doing x because doing x properly means they are doing their f*ck*ng job the way their job is supposed to be done for the people who have the capacity to appreciate them.
But apparently that is just me.
I can work well in a team - of similarly work focused individuals. I just can't do those who can't focus on what it is that they are supposed to be doing. I just... Can't. Not when there are so many smart and talented individuals out there who can't find appropriate work. We aren't that f*ck*ng desperate for workers.
The one thing I can't stand: Isn't so much the people who are incapable... It is the people who turn out to be remarkably capable in stabotaging other people from doing their jobs. That is what makes these people... Toxic.
Why doesn't anybody else see it like this?
Posted by Dinah on December 5, 2013, at 11:58:28
In reply to Re: let me go, posted by alexandra_k on November 26, 2013, at 15:15:10
> Find smiles rewarding. So you train them... To do what you want so they get a smile. But you frighten them with stern face / angry face. So you need to be calm and relaxed and use your smiles strategically. To train them.
I find that oddly chilling.
Posted by Dinah on December 5, 2013, at 12:05:28
In reply to Re: let me go, posted by Dinah on December 5, 2013, at 11:58:28
I'm sorry, Alex. It sort of hit a nerve with me. My mother once said something similar about scaring off someone with a temper tantrum. Her temper tantrums were scary enough without recognizing she used them as a tool.
I recognize you're frustrated. Is there anyone you can speak to about the best way to go about being transferred? Is there a school counselor?
Posted by Dinah on December 5, 2013, at 12:09:38
In reply to let me go, posted by alexandra_k on November 25, 2013, at 15:25:55
Can you just say "Are you asking if I have symptoms of OCD?
Or "Are you forced to ask all these questions?"
I once asked my therapist if the questions he was asking me were CYA questions. He admitted they were. I said as long as he recognized that I recognized what they were, I'd answer them so as to CHA. He thanked me, and the whole thing passed with a minimum of bad feelings.
Because she might well be forced to ask all the stupid questions, regardless of what she's already determined. Because of bureaucracy and all. No point being angry with her for that.
This is the end of the thread.
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