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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 12 of 12. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Annierose on October 25, 2011, at 20:47:51
I had a tough few weeks. I continue to struggle in my marriage (we are in marriage counseling) and there is another matter than consumes my brain, energy and angst. I have been trying my best to "suck it up" and charge ahead with my life as if nothing is wrong. But I'm not fooling anybody, especially me.
My therapist (not marriage t) has been beyond supportive and loving and kind and unjudging and just "gets it". She reminded me that in my childhood, I didn't permit myself to crumble, because there was no one there to console or comfort me. So I operated as if life was normal and created a world inside my head that was happy - a buffer from the chaos in my house. And now it's okay to fall apart, cry, grieve and give in to the sadness.
So today I cried. I cried after working out, I cried after therapy in my car, I cried during marriage counseling (YES ... I had both sessions back to back --- horrible!!), I cried after marriage counseling, I cried at home, I cried after my weight watchers meeting and I cried talking to a friend on the phone.
I sent my t a text - letting her know that I am officially a mess. She replied, "These are certainly tough times. Better to have the tears, though, than to have them covered up as your sadness is very real and deep and long standing ... deserving of your full attention."
It warmed my heart ... giving me permission to cry. I needed to read that.
My impulse is to pack my bags, drive hundreds of miles away and start my life over. I know. My problems will follow. And I do have two wonderful children that I would never ever leave. It just feels as if I'm facing every problem at once. And that sucks.
Posted by Solstice on October 25, 2011, at 21:53:45
In reply to When things start to unravel, posted by Annierose on October 25, 2011, at 20:47:51
That does suck, Annierose. I can't tell you how many times I've also wanted to run away to some place far away. All I can say, is stick close to your therapist. She'll get you through it.
Solstice
> I had a tough few weeks. I continue to struggle in my marriage (we are in marriage counseling) and there is another matter than consumes my brain, energy and angst. I have been trying my best to "suck it up" and charge ahead with my life as if nothing is wrong. But I'm not fooling anybody, especially me.
>
> My therapist (not marriage t) has been beyond supportive and loving and kind and unjudging and just "gets it". She reminded me that in my childhood, I didn't permit myself to crumble, because there was no one there to console or comfort me. So I operated as if life was normal and created a world inside my head that was happy - a buffer from the chaos in my house. And now it's okay to fall apart, cry, grieve and give in to the sadness.
>
> So today I cried. I cried after working out, I cried after therapy in my car, I cried during marriage counseling (YES ... I had both sessions back to back --- horrible!!), I cried after marriage counseling, I cried at home, I cried after my weight watchers meeting and I cried talking to a friend on the phone.
>
> I sent my t a text - letting her know that I am officially a mess. She replied, "These are certainly tough times. Better to have the tears, though, than to have them covered up as your sadness is very real and deep and long standing ... deserving of your full attention."
>
> It warmed my heart ... giving me permission to cry. I needed to read that.
>
> My impulse is to pack my bags, drive hundreds of miles away and start my life over. I know. My problems will follow. And I do have two wonderful children that I would never ever leave. It just feels as if I'm facing every problem at once. And that sucks.
Posted by TherapyGirl on October 25, 2011, at 21:55:02
In reply to When things start to unravel, posted by Annierose on October 25, 2011, at 20:47:51
That does suck and I'm sorry things are so tough right now.
I have to add, though, that I'm completely impressed that you've given yourself permission, for what seems like the 1st time in your life, to fall apart. Good for you!
(((((((((((((((AnnieRose))))))))))))))
Posted by Daisym on October 26, 2011, at 0:01:24
In reply to Re: When things start to unravel » Annierose, posted by TherapyGirl on October 25, 2011, at 21:55:02
Oy vey - maybe it is time to make soup, as my grandmother would say. Something about chopping and cutting that makes the world easier to be in.
Those tears need to be honored and gently received. It is so overwhelming sometimes when you well-up at the drop of a hat but it tells you a lot about how close to the surface your feelings are.
I'm glad you and your T are connected. It is OK to need her right now.
Posted by annierose on October 26, 2011, at 12:54:29
In reply to Re: When things start to unravel » Annierose, posted by Solstice on October 25, 2011, at 21:53:45
Thank you Solstice, I do believe she is helping me. I just wish someone could do all the hard work for me - I hate dealing with the mess of hurt feelings, hurt people. If I decide to leave the marriage - the aftermath seems so overwhelming.
Posted by annierose on October 26, 2011, at 12:58:34
In reply to Re: When things start to unravel » Annierose, posted by TherapyGirl on October 25, 2011, at 21:55:02
And I deserve an A+ for completely falling apart full tilt, nothing held back. I woke up feeling much better. I got on my treadmill this morning and listen to my favorite country music playlist - sang out loud and smiled.
Then ... hours later my daughter called. She got into a car accident (no one got hurt - it wasn't her fault) but she was upset. THEN my husband called, our basement sewer backed up.
Time to put on some headsets and not listen to the world again LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA
Posted by annierose on October 26, 2011, at 13:00:30
In reply to Re: When things start to unravel, posted by Daisym on October 26, 2011, at 0:01:24
I can already smell the soup simmering in my kitchen. Maybe my son and I can make a quick soup after work/school this evening. It's the perfect chilly autumn day in Michigan - worthy of a good bowl of soup with some homemade bread (the homemade part is a fantasy - but I can always buy a good loaf @ Breadsmith).
Posted by gardenergirl on October 28, 2011, at 17:25:04
In reply to Re: When things start to unravel » Daisym, posted by annierose on October 26, 2011, at 13:00:30
(((((annierose))))))
Soup and warm bread on a crisp Michigan day...heaven.
Thinking of you,
gg
Posted by annierose on October 28, 2011, at 21:30:56
In reply to Re: When things start to unravel » annierose, posted by gardenergirl on October 28, 2011, at 17:25:04
Made me smile just seeing the "gg" post let alone your yummy suggestion of soup. My son and I have done more thinking about making soup than actually getting a pot started. I think maybe Sunday will be soup day.
I am going away next week for a mini-vacation to celebrate my 50th birthday. That's the good news. The bad news is my husband is going too and I'm afraid friction will follow. We can barely be in the same room together. Luckily I will be surrounded by my sisters and close friends so I will have plenty of loving wishes and hugs.
Thank you for stopping by and visiting. I miss you here and in real life : )
Posted by gardenergirl on October 29, 2011, at 18:48:13
In reply to Re: When things start to unravel » gardenergirl, posted by annierose on October 28, 2011, at 21:30:56
I miss you, too. I hope your birthday celebration is a happy one and not too tension-filled. And I hope things with your marriage work out in a way that leads to happiness and blessings for you. You deserve it.
I might be heading your direction over Thanksgiving. I know it's a busy time, but if your'e going to be in town, maybe we could get a coffee?
Hugs to you,
gg
Posted by annierose on October 29, 2011, at 19:48:15
In reply to Re: When things start to unravel » annierose, posted by gardenergirl on October 29, 2011, at 18:48:13
Always will make time for coffee if I'm around ... there is a 50-50 chance that we might go out of town for turkey day. I still haven't booked air travel yet - so we will probably be in town. It's hard to make plans to be together when you're not sure you're going to "be together"!
Are things ok with you?
Posted by Dinah on November 5, 2011, at 12:13:20
In reply to When things start to unravel, posted by Annierose on October 25, 2011, at 20:47:51
((( Annierose )))
This is the end of the thread.
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