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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by emmanuel98 on July 15, 2011, at 20:02:34
He called me the other day to cancel an appointment. Apparently he had a very bad fall and tore the tendons in both knees. He had surgery and is now in a rehab facility. He said he will call next week, keep me posted, doesn't know how much longer he'll be out of commission.
I sent him a card and a book I told him about that he hadn't read (we tend to like the same books). I wrote him a nice note and at the end said, I actually feel more sorry for you than I do for myself.
But I don't know if that's true, actually. Much as I realize how much this must absolutely suck for him (I mean BOTH KNEES at once, being in a rehab in a wheelchair. He is a very vigorous guy who runs every day) I find myself worrying about how long it will be before I can see him again. Weeks? Months?
I am too dependent on him. He's 72. What am I going to do if he really gets sick and has to stop practicing? I have to figure out how not to need him so much.
Posted by annierose on July 15, 2011, at 23:32:53
In reply to So sad about my p-doc, posted by emmanuel98 on July 15, 2011, at 20:02:34
It is so hard when our therapists unexpectedly take a leave of absence. I find that time moves rather slowly.
How thoughtful and kind of you to send him a book and card. I'm sure it meant a great deal to him. And he will come back as soon as he is able. It sounds like he enjoys his job and doesn't intend to stay out any latter than he needs to.
My t had hip replacement surgery and she was out for three weeks ... but it was a planned surgery so I could mentally prepare for it (well, if that's possible). Like you, I gave my t a box full of fun at our last appointment. She sent me the kindest thank you note that helped me through until I saw her. A genuine reply is heartfelt.
When my t came back to work she was using a cane. It was so odd to see her helpless (even though she wasn't --- but you get my point). It was scary in a way. It's been over 2 months but she still doesn't have the pep in her step like she used to. It's a long recovery.
I hope time moves quickly for you.
Posted by lucielu2 on July 16, 2011, at 9:55:26
In reply to So sad about my p-doc, posted by emmanuel98 on July 15, 2011, at 20:02:34
That is so tough, for both of you. The fact that he's athletic should reassure you - he will undoubtedly be better able to heal quickly and will be eager to get back to his life and work. And these days, 72 is the new 52 :)
I think your care package to him was really sweet. I know how you can have very mixed feelings about a T's injury or illness. A few years ago, my T hurt his back rather badly. We had phone sessions at first and then back to the office. But I could see him squirm in his chair, trying to ease the pain, though he never said anything. It was hard for me to concentrate, since he was so obviously in pain. But part of me, a part I felt very ashamed of, said (to myself) "he's not listening to me!" Now, in a way, I wish I had said it. It would have been a good time to express some of those feelings, the desire to take care of him vs wanting to take care of my own need to have him listen to me.
Anyway, I hope he's on the mend and able to see you again soon. In the meantime, keep thinking about his presence in your life. He has given you a lot, and maybe thinking about that will be a comfort to you.
Posted by annierose on July 16, 2011, at 10:00:54
In reply to Re: So sad about my p-doc, posted by lucielu2 on July 16, 2011, at 9:55:26
lucie - when my t returned from hip surgery (and still to this day - although she is on vacation for 2 weeks right now) - I could see her "try" to get comfortable in her chair and it "is" off-putting. I did say something but she denied it ... "I'm fine" but she wasn't / isn't.
Posted by lucielu2 on July 16, 2011, at 10:34:59
In reply to Re: So sad about my p-doc » lucielu2, posted by annierose on July 16, 2011, at 10:00:54
Mine would also deny it, and though he wouldn't say so, would probably prefer I didn't bring it up. Isn't it funny that there's little else that they would rather we not talk about besides our feelings about their pains and discomfort?
Posted by Dinah on July 16, 2011, at 12:35:08
In reply to So sad about my p-doc, posted by emmanuel98 on July 15, 2011, at 20:02:34
That was very thoughtful of you.
I have trouble with balancing surrender to the current moment with protecting myself against future pain. I think it's *possible* to hold in my mind at the same time "I can appreciate and trust in what I have now." and "I can accept that I won't always have it." It's hard for me to trust a relationship that's not forever.
I think that's a goal for my therapist.
Are you able to do any research on the type of surgery? I think nowadays they try to get people up and back to their regular lives as soon as possible, even if it involves a wheelchair or assistance. But yes, it is a reminder that no one - whether seventy two or fifty two - lives indefinitely. We can lose anyone we love far too soon. But that's no reason to shield ourselves from the joy of loving, even knowing the pain of loss is somewhere ahead.
Now if I can just learn to believe that.
Posted by Anemone on July 17, 2011, at 13:41:25
In reply to So sad about my p-doc, posted by emmanuel98 on July 15, 2011, at 20:02:34
Hi Emmanuel,
I can imagine how hard it is to feel so dependent on p-doc, and worry about his health at the same time. His fall sounds very painful, and if I were you I would worry about when he would be back too. It's so kind and sweet of you to send him a card and book. I hope he will feel better because of your caring gesture.
I remember how selfish I felt a few years ago when my T got sick and couldn't see me. I whined and moped and felt sorry for myself, even though I was also sorry she was sick and not having fun. Anyway I am sending an invisible good wish balloon to your p-doc right now. I know what a caring good p-doc he is, so let's hope he will get better soon.
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