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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 6 of 6. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by yellowbird01 on June 6, 2011, at 23:44:34
Hi everyone...
I just started a new job at a crisis stabilization program for people having mental health crisis. It's like a hospital in that it's overnight, but it's more of a home setting and it's unlocked, etc.
I dont know if any of you remember me.. I used to post here a few years ago. I've been hospitalized myself several times for major depression. I have scars on my left arm from self-harm... they are not glaringly obvious but they are noticeable, especially to people with experience with self-harm. There's no way they are from anything else, given the location, appearance, etc. Tonight a client asked me directly about them ("I noticed your arm..."). I knew it would happen, but didnt expect it this soon. I think that's a sign I'm going to be asked pretty frequently. I'm not embarrassed about my history.... I think it makes me a better clinician. But I dont necessarily want to share it with everyone in the world either. My coworkers do not know, although I may share eventually (and they may have noticed).
How do I handle being asked? If I lie, the majority will know I've lied, and it will hurt our relationship. When I was asked tonight, I said something like "I have a history. A lot of people have 'been there'". He asked if it was past history, and I assured him it was, and that was it. It just feels... weird. I feel a little triggered already just be being "on the other side of the desk" (no desk, you know what I mean). I look out the windows and think of what it would be like looking out the same windows as a client. I used to stare out the windows all the time in the hospital when I was there, just a few years ago. I'll be expected to lead groups and provide individual support beginning very soon.
How do I handle questions about my past/scars? And has anyone else ever been "on the other side", so to speak? This isnt my first mental health job, but the inpatient factor seems to be triggering me.
I'm sorry if this is a weird post. I've long respected the advice and thoughts that are given here, and I know you all here will understand.
Posted by sleepygirl2 on June 7, 2011, at 5:45:48
In reply to New job... question., posted by yellowbird01 on June 6, 2011, at 23:44:34
Damn, I lost what I'd been writing.
Of course you're feeling triggered, being so close to it again. I think what you said was good. Acknowledging the past, that many people deal with it and that you are alright now.
You don't even always have to feel "alright", it might just serve to divert in a gentle way from further discussion about it.
It's a tough question to be sure, and to be so close to the perspective of the people you work with.
I hope you find it to be rewarding work.
Posted by yellowbird01 on June 8, 2011, at 0:13:50
In reply to Re: New job... question. » yellowbird01, posted by sleepygirl2 on June 7, 2011, at 5:45:48
Thanks sleepy. I watched an interesting video on recovery tonight during down time. It was actually very good... it discussed recovery from mental illness as being as lifelong process (for some).. and how every day is a choice as to whether we sit at home and follow the "ill" voice or take our experiences and use them for good, etc. It also talked about mental health stigma, and how many people are "hidden consumers"... people who do, or have, struggled with mental illness but arent open about that fact. It said that if all of the "hidden consumers" were no longer hidden, the stigma of mental illness would be GREATLY diminished. I agree with that. The video really spoke to me. I dont feel "sick" right now, but I dont necessarily feel "well" either. I do feel like I'm in a long-term recovery process. The key for me is to be okay with that fact. It doesnt have to be black and white.
Posted by Dinah on June 8, 2011, at 11:48:48
In reply to New job... question., posted by yellowbird01 on June 6, 2011, at 23:44:34
It sounds as if you answered in the best way. Such questions are bound to come up unless you cover up completely. You acknowledged briefly that you had issues (perhaps similar issues to their own), assured them that it was in the past, and didn't dwell on your story. I imagine I'd be mainly worried about my therapist's current stability, and I'd mostly want my therapist to assure me through actions as well as words that he was fine now. Some people might find it hopeful to learn that it *can* be history.
I might feel curiosity, and I might even ask further questions, but I think I'd be happy if my therapist kept his answers general and in terms of assuring me of his current stability.
Posted by yellowbird01 on June 8, 2011, at 14:58:22
In reply to Re: New job... question. » yellowbird01, posted by Dinah on June 8, 2011, at 11:48:48
Thanks Dinah. I feel silly saying so, but I hadnt even considered their concern/wanting reassurance/etc of my stability and ability to help. The reason I say I feel silly is that as a long-term client myself, I'm sure I'd feel exactly that way if I noticed scars etc on my therapist. I've been focusing on "dont lie, but get away from the topic as soon as possible" and in the midst, forgot that very important point. Thanks for bringing it up. I think the "healing IS possible" viewpoint is great as well.
I'm considering sharing this concern with my boss/the director of the program and getting his thoughts and advice on how to handle it. There are only 10-15 staff members at the center, and the director is very much involved with us day to day... I think I'd feel comfortable sharing with him. I've only been at the job for 2 1/2 weeks now and i think I want to give it another week or 2 first though, because even though he obviously understands that people with mental illness (current or otherwise) arent "bad" or otherwise less competent, I dont want to change or effect his view of me as he's still getting to know me and forming opinions, both personally and professionally. It *shouldnt* effect anything, but you just never know...
Thanks again Dinah for your response. You made excellent points and that does help me to reframe it in my mind.
Posted by sleepygirl2 on June 8, 2011, at 19:06:45
In reply to Re: New job... question. » sleepygirl2, posted by yellowbird01 on June 8, 2011, at 0:13:50
That video came at a good time. :-)
Stigma is alive and well, even among mental health professionals. It's really a shame.
Take care
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