Posted by yellowbird01 on June 6, 2011, at 23:44:34
Hi everyone...
I just started a new job at a crisis stabilization program for people having mental health crisis. It's like a hospital in that it's overnight, but it's more of a home setting and it's unlocked, etc.
I dont know if any of you remember me.. I used to post here a few years ago. I've been hospitalized myself several times for major depression. I have scars on my left arm from self-harm... they are not glaringly obvious but they are noticeable, especially to people with experience with self-harm. There's no way they are from anything else, given the location, appearance, etc. Tonight a client asked me directly about them ("I noticed your arm..."). I knew it would happen, but didnt expect it this soon. I think that's a sign I'm going to be asked pretty frequently. I'm not embarrassed about my history.... I think it makes me a better clinician. But I dont necessarily want to share it with everyone in the world either. My coworkers do not know, although I may share eventually (and they may have noticed).
How do I handle being asked? If I lie, the majority will know I've lied, and it will hurt our relationship. When I was asked tonight, I said something like "I have a history. A lot of people have 'been there'". He asked if it was past history, and I assured him it was, and that was it. It just feels... weird. I feel a little triggered already just be being "on the other side of the desk" (no desk, you know what I mean). I look out the windows and think of what it would be like looking out the same windows as a client. I used to stare out the windows all the time in the hospital when I was there, just a few years ago. I'll be expected to lead groups and provide individual support beginning very soon.
How do I handle questions about my past/scars? And has anyone else ever been "on the other side", so to speak? This isnt my first mental health job, but the inpatient factor seems to be triggering me.
I'm sorry if this is a weird post. I've long respected the advice and thoughts that are given here, and I know you all here will understand.
poster:yellowbird01
thread:987318
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20110511/msgs/987318.html